December, 2008.
“Meredith,” Michael said, driving into Dunder Mifflin’s parking lot, “I’m sorry…I just wanted to help you.”
“Whatever,” Meredith said, unbuckling her seatbelt. Michael grabbed her arm.
“Wait,” Michael started.
“Michael, please just let me go…I’ve dealt with too much of your bullshit today,” Meredith said, sounding exhausted.
“I know you and I aren’t that close…but I know you have a kid. I have wanted to have a kid ever since I could remember,” Michael said, “The closest I’ve ever come to having my own kid was with Jan, and the baby wasn’t even mine.”
“Okay,” Meredith said, “so…what do you want me to do about it?”
“I’m just saying, Meredith. I know I come off as a jackass, and I know that I have no right to tell you this, but just think about your kid,” Michael said. “Help yourself for your kid…”
Meredith pushed Michael’s hand off her shoulder, and stormed out of his car. Michael sighed, put the car in drive, and drove away.
“What a day…” Michael said aloud to himself.
Michael drove back to his condo, humming along to Christmas carols over the radio, and was secretly glad that he wasn’t thinking about Holly. But when he realized that he wasn’t thinking about Holly, he was suddenly thinking about Holly. He began to wonder what she was doing for the holidays…the Holly-days…Michael hasn’t talked to Holly since he got back from Canada. He remembered landing in the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton International Airport, and purchasing plane tickets to Nashua. He had missed Holly so much, and Concierge Marie had made him feel, for lack of a better term, poopy.
He remembered renting a car, and driving to Holly’s house at 10:00 PM. Michael had knocked on her door, and Holly answered in pajamas.
“Michael? What are you doing here?” Holly asked, surprised.
“I miss you, Holly…”
*****
Holly was driving home from work. The Nashua branch didn’t even have a Christmas party. She just worked all day, listening to people complaining about god knows what. Her holidays were always spent alone. She smiled to herself as she realized what Michael would say if he were here:
“Happy Holly-days, Holly!”
Why did she miss him so much? Why did she push him away…What’s wrong with her? Why did she even leave Scranton? She was obviously not thinking straight when she left. She thought the long distance thing would work…sure when you say seven hours out loud, it doesn’t seem that long, but when you’re actually driving for what feels like seven hours, it actually ends up being only three hours.
*****
“I miss you too,” Holly said, hugging and kissing Michael. “But what are you doing here? And whose car is that?”
“I just got back from Can-ah-duh,” Michael said, smiling. “Wallace needed me to go, and yeah…I decided to come visit you after the trip!”
“I appreciate that…come in,” Holly had said, stepping aside to let Michael in.
******
Michael went inside his house, and went straight for the bedroom. Sitting on his nightstand was a picture he and Holly took together when they went out to play mini-golf. Michael smiled to himself, and picked up the picture. It felt as if staring at that picture would bring Holly back to him. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen…
“Fucking Wallace…” Michael sighed, shutting his lamp off.
*****
Michael was laying on Holly’s bed with her arms over him. She was resting her head on Michael’s chest, and Michael was absentmindedly stroking her hair with his hand. This was what was missing with Jan, Carol, and Concierge Marie, the cuddling. The part after having sex with someone, where you just hold onto them. That was the best feeling for Michael, and he would never tell anyone this, but Holly was the only woman who was affectionate towards him. She would never tell Michael to sleep at the end of the bed like some dog, unlike Jan, who always made him sleep on that uncomfortable stool. She would still hold onto him, occasionally ran her fingers up and down his chest, and she would still kiss him.
*****
Holly was sitting alone in the dining room with an open bottle of wine. She was having her holiday ritual: red wine, Lonesome Dove, and no one else. For the last five years, she had always spent the holidays by herself. Normally, she never minded it, but this year…this year was different. Ever since the middle of October, she imagined her spending the holidays with Michael. Maybe visit his mother, who she remembered talking to after their fifth date. They could be together right now, watching Christmas movies…Four Christmases looked like it could have been fun.
Holly stared at the pages, but the words weren’t coming to her. The book no longer made sense…she had read the book three times, for god’s sake. She realized why the words weren’t coming to her…she told Michael she had read the book three times. She remembered how Michael bought her a new copy of the book when he saw that her old copy was bent and torn.
*****
“Michael, you should go back to Scranton now,” Holly had said the next morning.
“Why?” Michael asked, confused.
“This is just too hard…only seeing glimpses of you. We have to end this…you know, for good,” Holly said tearfully.
“I don’t,” Michael said, his eyes starting to burn, “I don’t want it to be over…”
“Please. Just go, Michael,” Holly said, wiping her eye.
“But…” Michael said, tears now running down his face. “I can’t. I won’t. Holly, I’ll stay. I’ll find another job here, and I’ll stay. I’ll do that for you.”
“Michael…”
“I know when we were together, it was only for two weeks,” Michael said, stepping up to Holly and trying to hold her, “but…I love you…”
*****
Michael couldn’t fall asleep. He lay awake for hours. The digital clock was flashing 3:21 AM, the red light illuminating the picture of Holly and him. Michael groaned, kicked the sheets off of him, and went downstairs. He opened the freezer, and took out a bottle of vodka and orange juice.
“Orange juvodka,” Michael said to himself, chuckling as he took a sip.
Holly had made him orange juvodka once. In fact, that’s where he got the recipe, from Holly. Damn it, he was thinking about her again; wondering what she was doing. He wished that he could just call her…
*****
“Stop,” Holly said, stepping away from Michael. “We really can’t do this.”
“Why?” Michael cried. “I love you, Holly, and don’t say you don’t feel anything, because I know you do!”
Holly began to sob.
“How are we going to do this, Michael? Yeah, you’ll find a job, you’ll move in, and things will be good for a couple of months, but after that, what? You’ll get tired of me…you’ll start to learn more things about me, and you probably won’t like them. We don’t know ANYTHING about each other!”
“Holly…”
“Michael, just go…and please don’t come back,” Holly sobbed, “It’s too hard…we’re too far away now.”
*****
Thank god she doesn’t have work tomorrow. Holly had just finished a whole bottle of red wine, and her head was down on her table. She was crying. She couldn’t stand not being with Michael, and she felt like such an idiot. What was she afraid of? Holly knew Michael would never intentionally hurt her, and god, he put up with Jan for all those years. Dealing with Holly would be a piece of cake compared to that.
“Holly Flax,” Holly sighed to herself as tears burned in her eyes. “You are an idiot.”
The next morning Holly woke up, finding that she had been sleeping on the dining room table. She quickly got up to take a shower. She knew what she had to do.
*****
“Holly, there will never be a thing that I don’t like about you,” Michael had said.
“Seriously, Michael, just…just leave…please, just go…” Holly sobbed, and she walked to her bedroom, and slammed the door.
She sat on her bed crying, not really knowing why she wanted Michael to leave. About fifteen minutes later, she heard her front door slam, and saw Michael walking toward his rental car. He stopped, and looked up at Holly’s window, and Holly ducked. She looked back up in time to see the car driving down the street. Holly fought the urge to run after the car, and went downstairs for a cup of water. When she finished, she just wanted to go back upstairs to take a nap. There was no way she was going into work today. Before she reached the stairs, she saw a folded piece of paper in front of her front door. She walked over, and picked it up. “To My Beautiful Holly,” it read.
“Holly,
You said that we don’t know each other well enough for this to work, but I beg to differ. I know you. I know you better than you think. I know that you have read Lonesome Dove three times. I know that whenever we go out for a burger, to order your bun with no sesame seeds. I know that you enjoy jogging the first thing in the morning. I know that you sometimes talk in your sleep. I know that when you drink coffee at the office, you prefer to use three packets of sugar and non dairy creamer. I know that you giggle uncontrollably after three glasses of wine. I know that you like to listen to ‘Accidentally in Love’ on repeat when you take a shower. I know that on weekends, you like to wake up to a cup of green tea. I know you, Holly, and there isn’t one thing about you that I don’t like. I’m sorry about Jan. I’m sorry about tearing your Counting Crows tickets. I’m sorry about throwing out your lunch. I’m sorry that I’m difficult. If you really want to end things, like really end them, then fine. But I just want you to know that I don’t think I’ll ever find another person that comes close to perfect as you are.
Michael”
*****
Michael awoke to his cell phone ringing. He quickly wiped his eyes, and picked up his phone.
“Hello?” he answered sleepily.
“Hey, you gay nerd,” said an obnoxious voice on the other line.
“Packer!” Michael cried happily. “How have you been, you douche bag?”
“I’m in Hot-lanta, and you will not believe the kinda girls that are running around here!”
“That sounds fun…” Michael said, realizing just how much his head was hurting. Michael looked at the vodka that he had been drinking earlier. There was only a third left.
“Well, you gay nerd, I was just calling to say Merry Christmas,” Packer said.
“Thanks, Pack-Man…I appreciate it.”
Michael hung up the phone, and was surprised that Todd Packer would call. Sure they were friends, but Packer was never one to call. Michael rubbed his eyes again, and looked at the clock on the microwave. 2:06 PM. He was surprised that he had slept in this late. Whatever, it was a Saturday. He had no plans anyway. Michael went upstairs to brush his teeth and to take a shower. Maybe he’ll go watch Four Christmases by himself tonight.
Michael got out of the shower, walked over to his room, and changed into some jeans and an old t-shirt. He realized that he was hungry, so he went downstairs and made himself some bacon and eggs. After he ate, he watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. When they were over, it was about 5:30. Michael walked over to his computer to check movie times, and before he sat down, the doorbell rang. Michael yawned as he walked to the door.
“Probably carolers,” Michael grumbled to himself.
Michael opened the door, and felt his mouth drop. Holly was standing at his doorstep, grinning, and she quickly rushed in, and kissed Michael.
“We’ll find a way to make this work,” Holly whispered in Michael’s ear. “Because I love you…”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I was debating on whether or not I should just post this chapter as a one shot, in response the Holly-Days challenge, but I just decided to put this story in here. So this story contains a lot of angst and a lot of fluff. Plus, there's a brief Packer cameo...Two more chapters, and an epilogue left. Slight Spoilers for "Moroccan Christmas."
Chapter End Notes:
Writing for Michael is extremely difficult...so I like to pretend that Michael is only a big jackass around the cameras.
