After Kelly drops Ryan off at the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre International Airport, she buys herself a bottle of wine and returns home to watch her Netflix movies.

She’s not feeling so great about things right now, and she’s tempted to get drunk and call Darryl and tell him she’s pregnant, but she’s got a plan she has to stay at least semi-sober for.

As she uncorks the wine she wonders just where she went wrong. She was always nice to Ryan, even when he was being a real D-bag. Maybe that was the mistake. Maybe she should have been as big of a jerk as he was. Maybe he would have appreciated her then. Well, if that’s the case, he’s going to fall in love with her all over again soon enough.

She grabs the latest “Cosmo” and her glass of wine then settles herself on the couch. She hits the play button on the DVD player then flips open the magazine to find out what Kate Hudson’s exercise regime is. When she sees the photo accompanying the article, she bets Ryan wouldn’t go to another country to hide from Kate Hudson, so she tosses the magazine to the floor.

When the credits finally roll on Pretty Woman, she glances at the clock. It’s almost time for Ryan’s plane to be landing in Newark.

She grabs her phone and dials a number she memorized that morning.

“Hi, yes, is this Newark Airport security? ... Great. I’d like to report a skinny white man with a gross beard. He’s carrying a bomb in a really tacky suitcase...”