Pam was gone. She had driven away. And there I was, standing with my mouth open like a fucking dumb ass. I was probably breathing out of my mouth too…I really hate mouth breathers. Wow…what the hell did I just do? Did I really reject Pam? What the fuck was I thinking? I could blame Katy, but it wasn’t her fault. None of it was; it was my own fault. Well, shit on a stick, I blew it…
The walk back to my car felt like hours, which is saying something because my car was about fifty yards away…I wanted to throw a fit—maybe kick a tree or something, but I didn’t. Maybe I should pull a Whee-Man, and kick myself in the face…it’s times like this where I wish I had short legs…or maybe kick really high, because I would totally kick myself in the face.
God, Pam literally put it all on the line. She loved me, and I love her too. I love her to the point where I wish there was a stronger word for love. How could I not love her? Pam was the funniest, sweetest, most honest girl I’ve ever met. She made me feel comfortable…
*****
Hotel Room
“Who’s this?” Pam whispered, gently bobbing her head up and down to the music.
“The New Pornographers,” I answered softly. Pam glanced over to me, and raised her eyebrows.
“That’s kind of an obvious name…I mean, you would think pornographers would constantly be nude…”
“What?”
“The Nude Pornographers…?”
“No,” I laughed. “The NEW Pornographers…”
“Ah…shit...” Pam blushed. “Well, I feel like a dumb ass…”
*****
First Phone Call from Pam
“Beesly, you don’t even know what you’re talking about,” I persisted, leaning back in my chair.
“What do you mean? If I could be any superhero, I would be Batman,” Pam repeated. “What’s so hard to understand about that?”
“Dude, seriously…Batman has no superpowers,” I explained, “And he’s awesome and everything, but I specifically asked you, what superhero power would you want?”
“I could easily argue that Batman’s power is in his wallet…that fool is rich…and he’s such a badass! If I had the bat-mobile from Batman Begins, I could probably just drive through all those mountains to come and see you!”
I let out a laugh. Man, Pam was a funny girl…
“Yeah, but let’s say you had Nightcrawler’s powers, you could just teleport here. Thus, you would be helping out the environment by not knocking trees down and shit…”
“Whoa! Nightcrawler’s freaking awesome! I redact my last comment, and I would like to be Nightcrawler…” Pam exclaimed, full of enthusiasm.
“You do realize how nerdy we sound right now, right?” I laughed.
“I don’t care, if people laugh at me, I’ll just teleport. Then I wouldn’t have to see them again, and they’d think I tooted because it would smell like sulfur when I left…”
“Wow…did you just say toot?”
*****
Most Embarrassing Moment
“So, Halpert, what was the most embarrassing moment of your life?” Pam asked, and I could see her grinning even though we were thousands of miles away.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I asked in a teasing tone.
“Come on! Tell me!” she begged, giggling.
“No, never!”
“You’re just being a Debbie Downer right now…”
“I know you are, but what am I?”
“An eighteen year old boy who quotes Pee Wee Herman,” Pam laughed. “Come on, spit it out, Halpert…I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours!”
“Fine,” I said, unable to resist the temptation. “When I was like five or six, my neighbor was having a birthday party. She had a Slip n’ Slide, and I had never been on one before then. So I was having the time of my life, completely ignoring everyone, just running, sliding, running back, and sliding down over and over again…I was having so much, laughing and screaming out in joy—“
“That’s what she said! That’s what she said!” Pam laughed. I shook my head, and continued my story.
“Anyway, I was having a lot of fun…people were having fun just watching me. Then they started to laugh, and I was all, ‘I know! It is SO much fun!’ But they continued to laugh at me, and eventually, I was all, ‘What the fuck is so funny?’ And then, Tom is pointing at me, and laughing his ass off…it turns out that my swim trunks tore in the front, and, err…Simba was hanging out with Timon and Pumba…”
“Oh my god, is that what you call your junk?!” Pam roared with laughter.
“Pam, don’t say junk,” I warned sarcastically, laughing along with her. “Okay, so what was your most embarrassing moment?”
“Oh, what? Dinner’s ready?” Pam asked, pretending that she was talking to her mom or dad.
“Beesly, quit playing games with my heart! Tell me!”
“Okay, Howie…” Pam teased. “Okay, back to business…um…my most embarrassing moment…God, I’ve never told anyone this story before…I’m scared!”
“Well…you gotta take a chance on something, Pam…”
“Fine,” she huffed. “Just gotta warn you, it’s pretty gross…”
“I don’t judge…”
“But…it has to do with…err…screw it, I’ll tell you anyway…but first, you have to promise that you’ll still be my friend after I tell you…”
“Okay, fine…I promise,”
“Okay…Whew! So do you remember that night when we spent the night in New York? Well, while you were sleeping…I…had to…you know…”
“No, I don’t know,” I replied truthfully.
“You know what you do after a couple of hours after eating?” Pam giggled.
“Oh…it’s okay, everyone poops…” I laughed.
“Yeah, but…I was in the bathroom, and Michael walked in on me…”
“That’s not that embarrassing…”
“You don’t understand, Jim…he walked in right when the lion roared…”
“What?”
“We had nachos at the bowling alley…and I let out a loud…”
“Oh! Oh god! I heard that, but I thought it was a low flying airplane!” I remembered.
“I hate you…”
*****
Taking Chances
“Hey, Pam,” I sighed when I had answered my phone. “Happy V-day!”
“Thanks, you too. Hey…are you all right? Usually, you’re all cheerful when I call you…”
“Yeah,” I said yawning, “I’m just tired…I have an exam for Chemistry on Monday, and I suck at Chem, so I have to study all weekend…”
“Oh, do you want me to let you go?”
“You know me, Beesly, I’m the master procrastinator,” I laughed. “So what’s up?”
“Oh, nothing…just wondering what you were up to…”
“Not a whole lot, obviously. You should be out, and having some fun, Beesly. It’s Friday!”
“Yeah, well…” Pam sighed. “Roy’s out at baseball game with his friends, and Holly and Michael are out on a date. Apparently, a guy like Michael remembered that today’s Valentine’s Day…speaking of which, why aren’t you taking Katy out?”
“It’s only four here, you always forget that I’m two hours behind you…but I’m sorry about Roy.”
“It’s okay…um…so…what are you and Katy going to do tonight?” Pam asked.
“I’m taking her to The Med. It’s this restaurant that Katy really likes,” I explained.
“Oh, that’s sweet…”
“Meh…”
“Hey, Jim? Can I ask you something?”
“Fire away, Beesly.”
“Should I...” Pam starts, and she lets out a sigh. “How are things with Katy?”
“What? Oh…uh…they’re all right,” I reply. “I mean, we’ve been dating for almost six months, but it feels like I don’t have anything in common with her, you know?”
“I know what you mean…it’s the same with Roy and me. I mean, yeah, I like him, and he can be a nice guy, but…I don’t know. The other day, he made fun of me because I want to get into art,” Pam said.
“That’s pretty fucked up.”
“Yeah, but he made some good points…I mean, there aren’t any guarantees when it comes with art,” I heard a crack in Pam’s voice, and I knew she was crying.
“You never know, Beesly…you just have to take a chance…”
“Yeah…I think I will…”
“You think?”
“Fine, I know I will. Is that better, Mr. Halpert?” Pam chuckles.
“A lot better,” I reply, smiling.
*****
First Movie
The second time I hung out with Pam since coming back to Scranton, we watched Spider-Man 2 at Tom’s house. Tom and his wife, Linda, were both working late that night. Eventually, Pam and I got bored of the movie…there was nothing wrong with it, but you gotta admit, the movie is pretty cheesy. So we decided to put the movie on mute, and add our own dialogue.
It was the final fifteen minutes of the movie—the climax. Spider-Man and Doc Ock were duking it out in some weird clock/lighthouse building, and Pam was providing Doc Ock’s voice while I provided Spider-Man’s voice. Spider-Man had just shocked Doc Ock with some cables, and he was now trying to subdue some weird sun thing that was spinning out of control.
“Hey guy, I need you to help me,” I said, pretending to be Spider-Man. “Your ball thingy is out of control!”
“Why should I help you?” Pam grunted, pretending to be Doc-Ock.
“Because,” I said, just as Spider-Man took of his mask. “I rode Seabiscuit…”
“My god!” Pam cried. “You did, didn’t you? But I can’t help you…”
“Why not?!”
“Because while we were fighting, you twisted my nipple, and it hurt real bad!”
“Listen, that was an accident…It’s just…things were getting heated back there.”
“That doesn’t change that fact that it hurt,” Pam giggled.
We burst out in laughter, both leaning back on the couch. Pam was beaming at me, and of course, I was beaming back.
*****
Something That’s Not Overrated
“What’s the most overrated song of our generation?” I asked.
Pam and I were sitting out “our” park. We always met up there because it was right between her house and Tom’s house. And there wasn’t much to do around Scranton, so we’d usually just sit at the park for hours talking. That day, we were asking each other what we thought was overrated…
“That’s easy,” Pam laughs, “Smells Like Teen Spirit, duh…”
“I agree…I think Nirvana’s overrated in general…” I said, as Pam nodded in agreement. “Okay, your turn…”
“Um…overrated movie?”
“Fight Club or Donnie Darko…” I reply. “They’re great movies, but totally overrated.”
“For sure…they are overrated, but I think Pulp Fiction is even more overrated…” Pam said. “It’s a classic, but it really wasn’t that great…”
“True that, Beesly,” I laughed, giving Pam a high five. “All right, most overrated thing about relationships…”
“Oh, that’s easy…” Pam said, giggling. “Sex.”
“Sex is overrated? How so?”
“Well, people make it out to be so important, you know? Like if you have a bad sex life, then your relationship is going to fail,” Pam explained. “There are more important things than sex. At least I think so.”
“Good point…” I agreed.
“Personally, I like to cuddle…but Roy, he’s all macho or whatever, so he doesn’t like to…”
“Dude, cuddling is the best, and I will proudly admit that,” I laughed. “It’s better than sex…”
“And it’s definitely not overrated…” Pam said.
“Katy’s not much of a cuddler,” I blurted out. Pam looked over at me, raising one of her eyebrows. “Or maybe she doesn’t like to cuddle with me…I am pretty boney.”
Pam laughed, and shook her head. And all of a sudden, she leaned into me, grabbing my arm and wrapping it around her shoulder.
“No, that can’t be it,” she laughed, leaning into me deeper.
My breath caught in my throat, and I felt like I was going to cough. I held it in…Cuddling is definitely not overrated.
*****
I couldn’t sleep that night. The sheets on my bed felt hot, but when I kicked them off of me, I felt cold. Maybe this is what a woman going through menopause feels like…I wouldn’t know (thank god…no offense, ladies).
When the afternoon finally came, I drove over to Michael’s apartment. I don’t know why I did…I really doubt Michael would be able to help me, but at the very least, maybe he could kick me in the face. They skies were blue, the birds were chirping, kids were playing…and all I could think about while I was driving over to Michael’s was Pam.
And then, I was standing in front of Michael’s front door. I guess I had one of those highway hypnosis things, because it felt like I had just left my brother’s house. Shrugging, I just reached over, and rang the doorbell. About a second later, Holly opened the door, and gave me a smile. Then she shook her head.
“Hey, over reactor man,” Holly joked.
“Oh god, you talked to Pam?” I cringed. Holly nodded. “So do you want to do me a favor, and kick me in the face?”
“Not really, but I could let you in if you want,” Holly chuckled. “Michael’s at work…”
“On a Saturday?” I asked, stepping into the apartment.
“Yeah, he’s meeting some clients…so what brings you here, over reactor man?” Holly asked, sitting down on the sofa.
“I don’t know,” I said, pushing my hair out of my face, and sitting down on the sofa next to Holly. “How’s Pam?”
“Oh…she’s pretty pissed, but mostly, she’s just depressed,” Holly said. “So what’s the deal, Jimbo? I know you like Pam. It’s written all over your face.”
“Yeah…I don’t know…Katy heard me and Tom making fun of her, and then she pretty much found out that I never really had feelings for her…I felt like an asshole. And then I felt like I didn’t deserve Pam, and now here I am,” I shrugged. “Obviously, I feel like a dumb ass…”
“Good, you should,” Holly laughed. I glared at her, but I knew I deserved it. “So what are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have a week to fix things before you leave,” Holly said, in an impatient tone. “And you’re wasting time sitting here feeling sorry for yourself.”
I let out a dry laugh, “What do you think I should do?”
“If I tell you, will you stop making fun of me for taking yoga?” Holly asked.
“I don’t make fun of you…”
“Really? Then what’s this: ‘Hey, Holly, I bet you’re pretty tired from sitting down and stretching for an hour!’?”
“Well…I don’t consider yoga as being an exercise,” I confessed.
“It is, and it really hurts my feelings when you make fun of it…” Holly joked. “But seriously, I don’t make fun of basketball, do I?”
“Fine, I’ll stop making fun of yoga,” I huffed. “So what should I do?”
“Grow a pair, and tell her how you feel about her, stupid,” Holly replied, shrugging. “And flowers don’t hurt…and she probably wants another CD…I swear, that girl always listens to that CD you made her.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Just show her how much you love her, Jim…” Holly said, suddenly looking serious. “And you gotta do that part on your own…”
“Right,” I nodded.
It was then when I really knew what I had to do to win Pam back. Not that I ever had her, but I was pretty damn close. I quickly thanked Holly, and launched myself out of the apartment.
Author's Chapter Notes:
In this chapter, you find out why Jim likes Pam so much through some flashbacks. I just wanted you guys to see Jim and Pam's special connection...also, keep in mind that they're both 18, and pretty young. That will explain the immaturity...lol. I hope you guys enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
I hope you guys liked it! Please let me know! Thanks!
