“You do know that I’m going to continue calling you an asshole, right?” Pam teased.
“You do know that I don’t really care if you do, right?” I said, winking over at her.
Oh, boy…what a night. My stomach was rumbling, my butt kind of hurt from sitting down on a wooden bench all day, and kids were giving me awkward looks all day…but none of that mattered. Because right now, I had Pam, and she’s all that matters. Well, food kind of matters too right now, because I am starving. So in short, I’m in a glass case of hunger and emotion. Happy emotion…
“So let me ask you something, asshole,” Pam giggled.
“Fire away, girl who punches like a man…”
“So when you were with Katy, what was the most annoying thing about her?”
“Come on, Pam,” I laughed. “I’m in a happy place right now, and you’re bringing her up?”
“I’m sorry, asshole. If it makes you feel any better, Roy would constantly rub my thighs like this,” I felt Pam’s hand running roughly against my thigh. “And it was annoying…it was like he was a village person trying to wash clothes…”
I let out a laugh.
“Well, Katy liked to make up cheers when she was happy,” I said, making my voice high pitched, and cheerleadery, “‘Give me a J if you’re jolly, I if you’re incredible, and an M if you’re a monkey!’ or something like that anyway…it was incredibly annoying.”
Pam giggled, and I reached my hand onto her thigh, and began to rub it roughly like Roy had.
“Stop it, you jerk,” Pam laughed, punching my arm.
“Gosh! Do you want to die tonight? Is that what you’re trying to do?” I laughed. “Driving is not a game, it’s real life!”
Pam threw her head back in laughter, and I finally pulled into the IHOP parking lot.
“Oh, thank god,” I cried, quickly getting out of the car. I opened Pam’s door, “Hurry up! I’m hungry!”
“I can’t seem to unbuckle my seatbelt,” Pam teased, deliberately taking her time.
“God! Hurry up, woman!” I said, yanking Pam’s hand, and lifting her up on my shoulder. She was surprisingly light.
“You better not drop me, Halpert…I feel like I’m dangling off the Eiffel Tower up here,” Pam laughed. I began to run around the parking lot, spinning while Pam screamed and laughed. “Put me down!”
“If I put you down, will you go directly into the restaurant?” I asked. “Like as fast as you can walk?”
“Dude, you’re the one running around the parking lot…we could have been in the restaurant like two minutes ago…”
“Touche,” I said, gently putting Pam down. Her hair was slightly disheveled, so I ran a hand through it. “I kinda fucked up your hair…”
Pam gazed up at me with a half grin. I felt her gently placing a hand on my chest, and I prayed that she couldn’t feel my heart beating…actually, I didn’t care if she did. I wanted her to know how nervous she made me feel…I brought my hand down to her cheek, and I brought my face closer to hers. Our lips touched, and suddenly, I didn’t feel so hungry anymore…
*****
You know what more people should do instead of using drugs? They should hang out with Pam. It’s amazing how happy one person can make me. Seriously, I could not stop smiling for the past seven hours. I walked downstairs into the kitchen to get a glass of water to find Tom and Linda eating breakfast.
“’Morning,” I said, grabbing a glass from the cupboard. “Looks like it’s going to be a nice day, huh?”
Actually, it didn’t look so nice outside. Rain clouds were starting to form.
“Are you high?” Tom asked, walking over to me, and peeling my eyelids back to inspect my pupils. “You are fucking high, aren’t you?”
I let out a laugh, and swatted Tom’s hand away.
“Nah, dude…I’m not high,” I smiled. “I’m just in a good mood…”
“Whatever…you were probably in your room swallowing ecstasy…” Tom accused, still giving me a suspicious look. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face. “I’m telling Mom…”
“Dude, Tom…I’m not high,” I ensured him. “I just had a good night last night…”
“Why? Did your balls finally drop?” Tom asked, giving Linda a look that said he was awfully proud of himself for the zinger.
“Grow up, Tom,” Linda scowled, shaking her head. “So what happened last night that put you in such a good mood?”
I shrugged, and poured myself some water. Suddenly, Linda let out a dramatic gasp.
“Jim! Is that a hickey?!” she cried, pointing at my neck. Tom grabbed me by the shoulders, and pulled my head back.
“Dude! It is a hickey!” Tom laughed. “Did you get yourself a hooker, or did Katy come back? Wait…is Katy here?”
“No…” I said, feeling my cheeks burn. I did not know Pam would leave a hickey…well, shit…
“Wait a minute…” Tom said, smiling. “You got with the art girl, didn’t you? Aw, Jimmy, you son of a gun!” Tom held up his hand, expecting me to give him a high five, but I just scowled at him.
“Dude, it’s not what you think,” I said. “We just…made out in my car for awhile…”
“Yeah, but still!” Tom exclaimed, still holding his hand up. “You’ve been whining like a little bitch about Katy, and how stupid she was…and you’ve been hanging out with Pam everyday. And when I gave her shit about wanting to be an artist, you got all butt hurt, and stayed up in your room all night…probably writing poetry…”
“Shut up, Tom,” Linda said, giving me a smile. “Pam’s a very nice girl. I’m happy for you…”
“Thanks, Linda.”
“Yeah…I hope things work out for you guys,” she said kindly, pulling Tom towards the front door. “We gotta get to work…”
“Right…I’ll see you guys later,” I called, rubbing my neck, and smiling a little.
*****
I always assumed that Pam’s dead was a college professor. Don’t ask why. I just did. There’s something to talk about today, what do our parents do? Anyway, when a short, round, hairy, shirtless middle aged man answered the door, I was quite taken aback.
“Can I help you?” the man asked, scratching his round stomach.
“Um…is Pam home?” I asked, hoping my disgust didn’t show.
“Yeah…one sec,” Pam’s dad turned his head, and yelled. “Pam! Someone’s here to see you!”
“Oh my god, Daddy, put on a shirt!”
“It’s my house! I’ll put on a shirt when I feel like it!” Pam’s father exclaimed. Pam walked up to the door.
“At least get a bathrobe…jeez,” Pam said, smiling over at me. “Daddy, this is Jim…”
“I paid for this house, Pam, and if I want to walk around shirtless, then I will,” Pam’s father said. Then he turned to me, “Nice to meet you, Jim.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Beesly,” I smiled.
“Well, you kids go off and do whatever it is the cool kids do these days,” Mr. Beesly said.
“All right. Bye, Daddy!” Pam said, hugging her father.
“Bye, Mr. Beesly,” I said, giving a wave as Mr. Beesly stepped back into the house.
“Sorry about the lack of shirt,” Pam shrugged. “That must have been scarring for you…”
“It is his house, Beesly,” I chuckled. “So what does your dad do?”
“He teaches History at Dunmore Middle School.” I was close enough…he was still a teacher, wasn’t he? “So did you have any plans for us today?”
“Not really…I thought we could just sit at the park for a couple of hours, and complain about how there’s nothing to do here,” I smiled, linking Pam’s and mine’s hands together. “Why do you want to do anything?”
“Holly called me a couple of hours ago,” Pam said. “She wants us to go ice skating with her and Michael…double date, I guess…”
“Sounds like fun.”
*****
Michael was a great ice skater. He used to play hockey when he was in high school, and the man can shred on the ice. But it’s embarrassing to be around him at the ice rink. Why? Because he always wears hockey pads, and carries his hockey stick around. I don’t know why he does it, but he just does.
While I was helping Pam tie her skates, Michael was standing over me, pounding his hockey stick against the mat.
“Let’s move, Jim!” he cried.
“Dude, calm down,” I said, looking up at him. “And get your stick out of my face.”
“That’s what she said!” Pam, Michael, and Holly all cried out together. I looked up at Pam in blasphemy.
“He’s got you into saying it too?” I asked.
“Well,” Pam giggled. “That was a good one…”
“Yeah,” I agreed, tightening the laces on Pam’s skates. “It’s not too tight is it?”
“That’s what she said!”
“Pam! Grow up!”
“Fine, asshole…and it’s not too tight,” Pam smiled, getting up shakily.
“Do you know how to skate?”
“No…”
“Wow…looks like you’re going to have to hold on to me, huh?”
“It looks that way, Halpert,” Pam grinned.
I helped Pam walk out into the ice, as Michael stormed past us like a mad man.
“Oh shit!” Pam squealed, clutching my arm tightly. “It’s slippery!”
“It’s called ice…” I laughed, gently pulling her forward. “Here, bend your knees a little, and then give a little push. You want to keep all your weight on your feet. That way, you won’t fall…”
“Okay, hold on,” Pam said, concentrating hard. She bent her knees…
“Okay, now you’re squatting…it looks like you’re taking a dump out on the ice. Like this,” I said, bending my knees slightly. Pam giggled, and then she began to slip. I caught her before she fell.
“This is useless,” Pam huffed. “Just pull me…”
“You really have to learn how to skate,” I said. “What if you robbed a bank and the getaway lake was frozen?”
“Then I’d getaway on the freeway, duh…”
“Fine, smartass,” I laughed, taking both of Pam’s hands. I began skating backwards, pulling Pam along. Things were going great, until I saw a blue blur coming towards me—Michael. All of a sudden, the wind was knocked out of me, and I fell on my back while Pam fell on top of me.
“Tag! You’re it!” Michael laughed, skating away.
“Michael! What was that for?” Holly yelled from the other side of the ice, skating towards Pam and me. “You could have hurt them!”
“Are you all right?” I asked Pam. Of course she was—she was giggling.
“Yeah, I’m fine…that was kind of fun. Thanks for trying to break my fall,” Pam said.
“No problem,” I laughed. Holly helped Pam up.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” Pam said, still giggling.
“Jim! Tag me back!” Michael said, skating past me.
“Here,” I said, ignoring Michael, and taking Pam’s hand again. “You’re going to learn how to skate on your own…”
“But I like to be pulled,” Pam persisted.
“Do I look like a sled dog?”
“Yes…”
“Well, I don’t mean to sound like a little girl,” I said, laughing. “But my ankle hurts…”
“Did Michael hurt it?” Pam asked, suddenly looking very concerned. I shook my head as Michael darted past with Holly holding on to his hockey stick, laughing.
“No…back when I played basketball, my tendon tore…sometimes it gets aggravated,” I told Pam.
“Oh, Jim…I’m so sorry…”
“Not that big of a deal,” I shrugged. Suddenly, I noticed that Pam and I had skated a lap around the rink. “Wait…you know how to skate?”
Pam smiled up at me, nodding.
“I just wanted to torture you some more for that one night,” Pam said. “I like ice skating…that’s why I was excited when Holly invited us.”
“Oh…I see how it is…”
“Well, if I knew about your ankle, I wouldn’t have made you pull me,” Pam said, wrapping her arm around mine. “I’m sorry…”
“Nah, it’s fine,” I smiled. “You looked pretty cute doing it anyway, so…”
*****
Later, the four of us went out to dinner at Cugino’s. Michael was staring over at a couple that was sitting across from our table, probably listening into their conversation. It was pretty hard not to listen in. I’m not one of those guys who get into other people’s business, but this was a pretty interesting conversation/argument:
“You called me stupid!” a little Indian girl cried.
“No, I said that your idea was stupid…”
“What’s so stupid about naming a baby Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor?”
“Don’t you see why that’s crazy?!” the guy asked in frustration.
“Oh! So I’m crazy now?”
I glanced over at Pam, raising my eyebrows, and she giggled, mouthing, “Wow!” Michael leaned over the table, and jerked his head, making me lean in.
“Dude,” Michael whispered. “I’m not gay or anything, but that guy is really hot…he’s like as hot as Holly, but in a different way…”
Before I could say anything, Holly leaned in.
“What are you guys whispering about?” she whispered, looking over at Michael and then to me.
“Michael thinks that…” I started to say, before Michael let out a loud cough.
“I was just telling Jim,” Michael said, clearing his throat. “That you’re the best…”
“Aw…” Holly smiled. “You are…”
“No, you…”
“You’re better…”
“You’re better than my best.”
“No, you’re the better-est.” Holly giggled. Yes, these people were about six years older than me…
Pam nudged me just as Michael and Holly began kissing.
“What was that about?” Pam mumbled, nodding her head at Michael.
“Oh, Michael thinks that guy over there is just as hot as Holly, but in a different way,” I replied, chuckling.
“Oh…wow…” Pam giggled. “Hey, Jim?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re the best.” Pam said, silently giggling.
“Wow, Beesly,” I laughed. “I think you’re the best too.”
“That settles it. We’re both the best.”
“I’m glad we could agree,” I smiled, leaning over to kiss Pam.
“Whoa! Jimbo!” Michael suddenly exclaimed. “Is that a hickey?!”
“Ooh! It is a hickey!” Holly cried, laughing. “Naughty, naughty!”
“Pam and Jim, sitting in a tree,” Michael sang. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
“Dude, how old are you guys?” I laughed, leaning in to kiss a blushing Pam again.
“COOTIES!” Michael and Holly cried in unison, before breaking into a fit of laughter.
People ask me why I’m friends with Michael. Sometimes, I find myself asking the same question…
*****
“Pretty fun day, eh?” I asked when I had pulled into Pam’s driveway.
“Yeah,” she said quietly, smiling over at me. “I wish I could stay out tonight…”
“No, it’s cool,” I said.
“Well, after I drive my parents to the airport tomorrow, you want to come over?” Pam asked. “I could make you dinner, and we could watch a movie…”
“Sounds good,” I smiled, getting out of my car to walk Pam to her door. We silently walked up the porch steps towards Pam’s front door holding hands. Before Pam walked into her house, she smiled up at me.
“Come here…” Pam whispered. “I need to tell you a secret.”
I leaned down closer to Pam.
“I adore you,” she whispered into my ear, before she kissed me. It was a very passionate kiss.
“I adore you too,” I said. Pam let out a giggle.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said, opening her front door. “Call me, okay?”
“Will do…see you later, Pam.”
“Goodnight, Jim…”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim and Pam go on a double date with Michael and Holly. Pure fluff...
Chapter End Notes:
So the next chapter is date number three...everyone knows what happens on the third date (according to Michael) right? wink wink
