The bright rays of sunlight came intruding into the room and assaulted his eyelids, prying them open. It took him a few minutes to remember exactly where he was and why he was there. He turned his head, out of the brown hair that was spilling over him, and focused his eyes to the clock that sat on the nightstand. It was still early—early enough that he knew better than to wake Karen—so he carefully and skillfully removed himself from the bed without disturbing her and stepped out onto the balcony. The sun was coming between the tall skyscrapers that made up the New York skyline and Jim lifted his head to breath in the city air.

It smelled like smoke and trash, and Jim wrinkled his brow in disgust. He wasn’t sure that New York held the fascination to him as it did to Karen. She been talking all week about moving to New York, moving away from Scranton, and he’d smiled and nodded, and played right along with it. Now he was starting to doubt his desire for this job.

Their night in the city had been fun; he couldn’t deny that. Sneaking into Spamalot and going to dinner in the little restaurant across from Central Park was perfect. Their hotel was beautiful; it had been what he thought he wanted.

But then in his dreams he saw her face. It had been the same scene playing over and over in his head since Michael’s beach day and he couldn’t forget it. He still wasn’t sure what it meant. She said she missed having fun with him, missed his friendship and wished he’d ‘come back.’ That was all well and good, but it didn’t mean she loved him.

And that is why he was hours away in a hotel room with a different woman, getting ready to interview for a job he was sure he could get. This is what he needed to do. Karen was right, it was time for him to move on, and he would never do that in Scranton, not sitting a few feet away from her every day. Karen was right; they would never work there. Maybe away from Scranton they could.

He supposed that trying would be good. Karen deserved that at least.

“Jim?” her voice was groggy with sleep as she called to him, “Are you here?”

“On the balcony,” he answered, and a few seconds later she was stepping out into the warm New York air with him. His dress shirt from yesterday was the only thing she had on and it fell loosely around her shoulders.

“Morning,” Karen drawled as wrapped her arms around his waist, “do you wanna order up room service for breakfast, or get dressed and have it down at that cute little bakery around the corner?”

“Let’s go to the bakery,” Jim suggested, “I’m just going to jump in the shower real quick.”

“Why don’t I join you?” Karen suggested with a tone that made him uncomfortable.

“I’ll be quick,” Jim said as he sidestepped around her and headed into the room, “it’ll be better that way, okay? Will you put on a pot of coffee on though? I know its horrible quality, but I’m going to need the caffeine.”

“Sure,” Karen mumbled as he closed the door to the bathroom. He knew it wasn’t the way she was hoping to start the morning, but there was too much rolling around in his brain to let that distract him.

It wasn’t until nine that they finally left their hotel room and headed out into the city for the day.

“I’m so glad we decided to stay here an extra night,” Karen chattered happily as they walked towards the corner bakery. “Maybe we can actually go to a full show tonight.”

“Sounds good,” Jim agreed with a smile, “I wonder if Michael’s already at corporate?”

“Probably,” Karen laughed. “Can you believe he drove all the way here yesterday, on the wrong day? That is so like him…”

“I know,” Jim commented and started picking at the pastry in front of him, “only he would do that.”

“I’m just wondering if Wallace is serious about him being a candidate for the job,” Karen muttered, and Jim raised an eyebrow at her in question. “What?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Jim, come on. It’s Michael…”

“He’s a little unorthodox, sure, but he’s got a good heart and he is good at sales.”

“Michael may be good at sales, Jim,” Karen argued, “but he is not good at being a manager or leading people. He would do horrible in this job.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Are you seriously defending him?”

“I guess I am.”

“Jim…”

“Karen…”

A strained silence fell over them as she picked at her fruit and he took a sip of coffee. He hated fighting with her; she was a good person and he cared about her. But he also knew that he didn’t feel the same way she did.

She hadn’t been afraid to say “I love you” to him, however, he hadn’t said it back. He knew that it disappointed her when he didn’t, but he wouldn’t lie to her that way. He couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fall in love with Karen.

“I’m sorry Jim,” Karen apologized softly, “I know Michael is your friend…”

“We’re not friends, exactly.”

“Right,” Karen smirked, “I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear. Will you forgive me?”

Jim nodded, and Karen smiled fully and linked her fingers through his. They sat for a few more minutes in silence before they moved to get up.

“We really should be going,” Karen informed him. “My interview is at eleven, so…”

“Yeah,” Jim agreed quickly, “wouldn’t want you to be late. Are you ready Filipelli?”

“Oh yeah,” she grinned, “and I’m ready to kick your ass.”

“Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck.”

“You sure about that?”

“Completely.”

“Well I guess we’ll see about that,” Jim teased and Karen gently smacked him on the arm. She grinned as she grabbed her purse from the back of her chair.

Her hand automatically reached for his and his wound fingers into hers. It felt stiff and strange, and Jim wasn’t sure why. He wanted to make it work; it wasn’t fair to Karen if he didn’t give it his all.

“Do you want to hail a cab?” Karen asked him, pulling him from his thoughts, “or do you want to walk. It isn’t too far.”

“Uh, cab. For sure.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Karen gushed, “I hate walking in heels.”

Jim pressed a quick kiss to her forehead as he stuck his hand up for a cab. Karen squeezed his hand and smiled up at him lovingly. He would grow to love this woman, he would.

---

Sitting in the lobby of Dunder Mifflin corporate was a surreal experience. Karen was busy studying the newspaper next to him—the business section he thought—while he haphazardly browsed the Sports section and observed Michael. Jim knew Michael wanted the job, and that he felt like he had it already, and Jim was concerned what would happen if he didn’t get it.

He knew Karen thought his interview was a joke, but Jim thought a little more of David Wallace than that. Michael was unorthodox and out there sometimes, but he had a good heart and wanted the company to succeed. Jim didn’t think that David wouldn’t interview him if they weren’t considering for the job. Even if they weren't convinced he was right for the job.

“Michael,” Grace, the receptionist, called, “David is ready for you now.”

“Thanks Grace,” Michael answered enthusiastically. “Okay kids, here goes nothing.”

“Good luck Michael,” Jim told him, and Michael nodded.

“Don’t need luck Jimbo,” Michael answered, “but thanks.”

Karen hadn’t looked up from her newspaper during the interaction, but Jim knew she was trying to keep her smile from showing. She was mocking Michael and he was really put off by it.

“Man,” Karen whispered loudly about twenty minutes after Michael left, “I’m dying. I think I need some caffeine. Want to go and grab a cup of coffee with me?”

“Um,” Jim paused, “maybe…”

“Karen,” Grace interrupted them, “David is ready to see you now.”

“Oh great! I guess I’ll have to take a rain check on that coffee huh? Wish me luck?”

“Good luck,” Jim answered automatically and felt her hand squeeze his quickly. The office fell back into a calming silence as he waited for Karen’s interview to be done and his to start.

Time seemed to be slowing down as he read the same sentence in the magazine he’d switched to about fifteen minutes after Karen had went in, and he was ready to get back out into the warm spring sunshine.

“What do you need David?” he heard Grace’s voice ask and he strained to hear her quiet conversation. “Of course, I’ll have security right there… Jason, hi it’s Grace. There is an issue in David’s office with Jan Levinson. Yes, if you could send a couple guys up… thanks Jason.”

“Is everything okay?” he had to ask.

“I’m sure it will all be fine,” Grace explained, “it just seems Jan was made aware of her impending job loss and has taken it awfully hard. Just sit tight, everything will be worked out in a bit.”

Jim nodded and focused his eyes back to the words on the page, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what he was reading.

Then it all happened so fast.

Jan was still yelling as the hallway door opened and two security guards escorted her out. Karen took a tentative seat next to him and they watched as Michael came into view. It was all starting to make sense. The job they were interviewing for was Jan’s, something he and Karen had already known, but Michael hadn’t.

And he’d been the one to spill the beans.

He heard as David told Michael they wouldn’t be hiring him, Michael instantly withdrew his name from consideration, and David, gracious as he is, let it go. Jim shook his head in disbelief and stared at Michael as he left the hallway.

“Wow,” Karen breathed, “that was some serious... hardcore... self-destruction.”

Jim had to agree, “Yeah. Kinda feel bad for her though.”

“Don’t,” Karen insisted, “she’s nuts.”

They shared a laugh and Jim glanced at his watch. It was now past noon. “Oh, man,” he started, “You know what? This might take a while. You really don't have to stay, if you don't want.”

“Okay, good,” Karen agreed with a grin, “because, um, a bunch of my friends are meeting downtown for lunch. And, I was gonna meet them, so...”

“Okay.”

“Just call me when you're done.”

“Sure.”

“Good luck Halpert.”

“Thank you,” Jim answered, and then it was just he and Grace in the spacious lobby. Her voice caught him off guard.

“Dunder-Mifflin this is Grace.”

It was so simple and yet so many memories where released in that simple five word statement. He, however, was picturing a pale-skinned girl with long auburn hair and a totally different name. He hated that something so simple could make him think of her so easily. He was here to escape her and that didn’t even seem possible. He didn’t know what he was going to do if this idea of moving away didn’t work.

“We won't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there.”

Karen’s voice echoed in his head. He knew that she was right. If he was going to build a life with Karen, then getting out of Scranton was his only option.

“Jim,” David Wallace’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “I’m ready for you now. Sorry about that little, explosion, it wasn’t how the ordeal was supposed to be handled.”

“With Michael involved, that doesn’t surprise me,” Jim answered, and the CFO let out a small chuckle. “So, have you been keeping up with the Sixers? If you haven't noticed they've been playing pretty well lately.”

“I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan,” David teased back a little and Jim started to relax. It was an easy conversation to have.

Then everything was turned upside down on him.

“Uh, oh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers?” David asked. Jim nodded, pulling the folder from his shoulder bag. Karen had taken care of getting their sales reports together, and she’d been adamant that everything was perfect.

That is probably why he was shell-shocked when her note fell into his lap, the gold yogurt lid medal shining back at him. Everything came rushing back in one quick sweep:

“Jim, they refer to it as Flonkerton.”

“Hum.”

“In English, box of paper snowshoe racing.”

“Fair enough, but I like Flonkerton.”

That had been a crazy great day. One that he thought would show her just how right they could be together. But she’d gone home with Roy, just like normal, and he’d went home alone.

This was not how he had expected the day to turn out, and now David was asking him a question, and so he forced himself to focus.

“How do you think you function here in New York?”

“What's that? Oh, uh, great. You know? I just um, I really appreciate the buildings, and uh, the people, and um, there's just a energy... New York has, uh... Not to mention, they have places that are open past eight. So that's a... bonus.”

Jim was relieved when David laughed and he took a deep breath to calm down his now racing heart. He needed to focus on the CFO in front of him and the interview.

“You've been in the Scranton branch a long time,” David started again. “What have you liked most about that place?”

Jim’s eyes once again focused on the note in his hand. Pam’s neat print placed on there perfectly. And she was wishing him luck. It almost felt as if she was letting him go.

He didn’t know how he felt about that.

“The friendships,” he heard himself answer.

“Okay,” David said with a nod, and paused for several seconds. “Well, we want the person who takes this position to be here for the long haul. So... long haul. Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

“Uh,” Jim stumbled over the obvious answer as a million and a half thoughts rolled through his head. “Well…”

“You okay Jim?”

Jim nodded his head, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry David, I completely spaced there for a moment.”

“No problem,” David assured him. “So…ten years?”

“To be completely honest David, the only thing I can say for sure about where I see myself in ten years is…” Jim paused, “married. I know that may sound crazy, but there is this girl…”

“Karen is very lucky,” David nodded, and Jim winced, “or not?”

“It’s a bit complicated,” Jim answered honestly, “but it isn’t Karen. I’m sorry to waste your time with this David.”

“It isn’t a waste Jim,” David said. “You have to understand you are a front runner for this job. I was very excited to hear you were interested in it. Right now it is just between you and another candidate.”

“I’m honored David,” Jim replied and shook his head in disbelief, “and I can’t believe I’m doing this, but…”

“What is it Jim?” David asked, leaning forward on his desk.

“I can’t take this job,” he answered honestly and rushed. “My future isn’t here in the city. At least, not yet.”

“Well,” David sighed, “I’m sorry to hear that Jim, really. I probably shouldn’t say this now, but I was planning on offering you the position.”

“Wow,” Jim rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, “and I really am honored David, and if things were different, I’d be here in a heartbeat. But…”

“Things are different,” David finished for him. “Go on Jim, get out of here. Do what you need to do.”

“Thanks David,” Jim told him genuinely. “I’ll see you around I’m sure.”

“You bet Jim,” David stood and offered his hand and Jim shook it. “Have a good drive back home.”

“Home,” Jim said with a deep breath. “Sounds good.”

David didn’t say anything else as Jim quickly exited the office and made a quick trip down the stairs. He needed to work off some of the anxiety that was building up in his muscles. There was a fountain not too far from the front entrance of the Dunder Mifflin corporate office and Jim sat down with his head in his hands.

He fished his phone out from his bag and pressed the number three to activate his speed dial. It wasn’t long until Karen’s voice filled his ears.

“Hey Halpert,” she greeted much to cheerfully. “Your interview done already? Did he let you down easily?”

“Um, Karen,” he answered, “we need to talk.”

“Jim,” Karen questioned, “what is going on with you? Is this about your interview?”

“Kinda,” he answered. “Do you think you could meet me by that fountain in the courtyard across from the corporate office?”

“Uh sure,” she answered. “I’m only about ten minutes away. I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks Karen,” Jim nodded even though she couldn’t see him, and with that he hung up the phone. He returned to his original position, head hanging, until he heard the clip-clap of Karen’s heels on the pavement stop in front of him.

“So Jim,” she started briskly, “what’s up?”

He couldn’t look up at her as he answered, “David offered me the job.”

“Wow,” Karen exclaimed. “Jim, that is awesome! I knew you would get it. So, when will you start? Are they providing you an apartment in the city? I wonder if they have anything open for me or if I should start looking around for something else…”

“I didn’t take it.” Jim whispered, and Karen stopped in her tracks.

“What?”

“I turned it down, Karen.”

“But…why?”

“I’m so sorry,” he started, “but…”

“This is about her, isn’t it?”

The venom that dripped from her voice as she spit the question out made Jim wince. This was quickly spiraling out of control and was fully aware of how ugly this could become.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“Karen,” he started, and then paused. Taking a deep breath, he started again, “You are an amazing woman, and I’ve had so much fun getting to know you. But…”

Karen didn’t interrupt him when he paused again, and Jim was forced to finish his thought.

“I’m not right for you. This,” he said, motioning around him to the city, “isn’t for me. I like the comfort of Scranton and the pizza place I’ve been going to for years. I like the familiarity of knowing the check out girl in the grocery and running into friends randomly at the movies. I’m not cut out for big city life.”

“You could be if you really wanted to be, Jim. If you weren’t being held back by…something.”

“I’m sorry Karen,” he started again, “I know that may not sound like much right now. But…I can’t do this anymore.”

“So you are just going to go running back to her now, aren’t you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Cut the crap Jim,” she hissed. “I at least deserve some honesty.”

“I know,” he agreed, “ you deserve a lot better than what I can give you. And in all honestly, I have to see what could develop with…”

“Please don’t say her name right now,” Karen requested, and Jim could swear he saw tears in her eyes as he nodded. “Um, I’m going to, uh stay here… in the city, for a few days. I’ve got the weekend to sort some stuff out…”

“Karen,” Jim said as he reached out to comfort her, “I really am sorry.”

“I have to go,” Karen answered abruptly, “just leave my stuff at the hotel. I’ll come and get it later.”

Jim nodded and watched as Karen stepped back away from him again, and walked off towards the street.

---

He was trying his hardest not to speed too quickly down the highway. He was still trying to figure out what his next step was going to be. Rushing into the office and sweeping Pam off her feet didn’t seem possible; there was too much history and too much to talk about to rush into something too quickly.

His phone vibrated against the plastic of his cup holder and he grabbed it quickly. He activated the blue tooth device that Karen had insisted he get and said hello before he could check the caller ID.

“Hey little brother,” Pete greeted him, “how did the interview go?”

“Um,” Jim paused, “It went pretty good. Until I told the CFO I didn’t want the job.”

“I’m sorry Jim,” Pete said much more calmly than Jim had anticipated, “you did what?”

“I told David I couldn’t take the job,” Jim answered, “that I didn’t think it was what I wanted right now.”

“I doubt Karen was very happy about that.”

“Well…”

“You ended it with her,” Pete stated, “didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t love her Pete. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to love her. Not like…”

“Not like you love Pam,” Pete finished for him. “Is that it?”

“Don’t judge me big brother,” Jim protested. “She loves me too, I know she does.”

“She’s got a crappy way of showing it…”

“I can’t hear this right now,” Jim argued. “I know you and Tom think I’m crazy. But I don’t care. I’ve got to follow my heart Pete. I’ve got to try.”

“But what has she done to show you she cares?”

“There was the beach.”

“And you told us that you didn’t think it really meant anything.”

“I was lying. It meant something, I just didn’t know what to do with it.”

“And suddenly you do now?”

“She hid a note in my reports today,” Jim said much quieter, “something simple and completely Pam, and I just know. I don’t expect you to understand…”

“Well you’re certainly right about that,” Pete assured him, “but I do want you to be happy. And if you think that Pam is really the one…”

“She is.”

“Then I’ll support you. Tom too, you know that.”

“Yeah.”

“Kara will be thrilled,” Pete commented off-handedly, “she never liked Karen.”

“She never met Karen.”

“She still didn’t like her.”

“Kara has always adored my stories of Pam,” Jim agreed with his brother. “Maybe before long you’ll be meeting her.”

“She better not hurt you again…”

“She won’t.”

“I’m just saying,” Pete reiterated himself, “she better not. Gotta go Jimmy, Camille just got home. Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah, “ Jim assured his brother, “I’ll call you tomorrow if I can.”

“Be careful.”

“I will,” Jim answered quickly. “Bye.”

Jim threw his phone on the passenger seat of his car and ran his hand through his hair. He knew that Pete was trying to be helpful, but his older brother’s help was more aggravating than anything else. He didn’t want the doubts that Pete had voiced to be rolling around in his head right now.

Because he knew that the note could have meant anything. It could have been a simple, good-bye and good luck. And he couldn’t let himself doubt his decision now.

He was only thirty minutes outside of Scranton and he glanced down at his radio clock. It was only four o’clock, and he knew that he’d be cutting it close, but he could get to the office before she left.

He had to.

When he pulled into the Scranton Business Park parking lot twenty minutes later, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw her little Yaris parked in its normal spot. He pulled up next to it and shut off his car. Laying his head against the steering wheel, he took several deep breaths to calm his nerves and slow the pounding of his heart. He still wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do, he just had to do something.

Finally mustering up enough courage to get out of his car, he slung his bag over his shoulder and took the stairs up to the office two at a time. It felt good to stretch his muscles after the long drive back from the city, and he only paused for a second when he reached the Dunder Mifflin door.

He was a little surprised when he pulled the door open and Pam wasn’t sitting in her normal spot behind the reception desk. He turned the corner and saw a familiar pink cardigan through the conference room window.

“Damn it,” he muttered quickly and quietly. Stupid cameras, he thought to himself, she’s in a stupid one-on-one with the cameras. Oh well.

Before he could stop himself, he was opening the door to the conference room a little more harshly than he’d intended.

“Pam—Sorry,” he mumbled towards the camera guy, Jake, and turned his attention back to Pam, his heart pounding so loud he was sure she’d be able to hear it. “Um, are you free for dinner tonight?”

“Yes.”

It was simple and direct and Jim felt the smile on his face grow. There was no hesitating in her answer, and it felt as if a fifty-pound weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“All right,” he answered with a grin. “Then… it’s a date.”

Her smile he was sure mirrored his, and he shut the door behind him before she could respond besides the small nod she’d given. Turning around, he knocked quickly on Michael’s office door before letting himself in.

“Jimbo!” Michael greeted him overenthusiastically. “You and Karen back from New York already?”

“Uh,” Jim stuttered, “I’m back from New York. Karen… is not.”

“Woo-hoo,” Michael exclaimed. “She got the job?”

“I don’t know,” Jim told him honestly, “but we aren’t together anymore…”

“You just can’t keep ‘em, can you?”

“Michael…”

“Wait,” Michael interrupted, “is this because of Pam? And that little speech she made at the beach last week? You still have feelings for her?”

“Karen and I just don’t fit together,” Jim told him, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, great!” Michael exclaimed happily, “you aren’t going to be breaking up the family. I knew you couldn’t do that to me.”

Jim just shook his head and finally looked around him.

“Michael,” he asked, “why are your office walls black?”

“Oh that,” Michael just smiled. “Dwight got a little zealous after I left this morning. He’s going to fix it after office hours tonight. Speaking of after hours, I’d better head out. Jan is back at my condo and I want to make sure she’s getting moved in alright.”

“She is moving in with you?”

“Yup,” Michael beamed. “Decided it on the drive back. Wish me luck Jim-bob.”

Jim nodded, “Good luck.”

When Jim walked back into the office, it seemed as if most people had already left. Andy was at his desk and so was Angela, but other than that the office had cleared out rather quickly. He picked up his bag from his desk chair and headed back out to his car.

His heart jumped when he saw Pam leaning against her car, playing with the chain that hung from her neck, waiting for him.

“You didn’t give me any details, Halpert,” she stated simply when he came into hearing range. “You said dinner tonight, but…”

“It would help a little if we actually made plans huh?”

“Just a little.”

“Well,” Jim thought for a moment, “I’d really like to go home and freshen up a bit. Why don’t I pick you up at your place at seven?”

“Sounds good,” Pam agreed and her smile was bright. “Do you know the apartments on Cherry Street?”

“Um, Groveland?”

“Yeah,” Pam nodded, “I’m in apartment two o’ five.”

“Awesome Beesly,” Jim said as he made a mental note of her apartment number, “see you at seven.”

“See you then,” Pam called as she climbed into her little car and Jim let out another breath.

This is it, Jim said to himself, I’ve got a date with Pam Beesly. Don’t screw this up.

---

Just short of two hours later, he was sitting in the parking lot of Groveland Apartments, trying to get up enough courage to go and actually knock on her door. So many thoughts and concerns had drifted through his head in the last couple of hours, and he’d done everything he could to put them to rest.

It wasn’t working as well as he had hoped it would.

“Come on man,” he told himself, “just pick up the flowers and knock on her door. It shouldn’t be this hard.”

He grabbed the bouquet he’d picked up from the florist on the corner, checked his reflection one more time in the rearview mirror, and finally got himself out of the car. With his long legs it didn’t take him long to reach her door, and before he could talk himself out of it again he brought up his hand and knocked.

“Coming,” he heard her through the door, and he tried to steady his breaths. What felt like hours, though he was sure was only seconds, passed before she opened the door, but when she did his breath caught.

She had changed from the outfit she’d been in at work and was now in a pair of dark wash jeans with a fitted white top he’d never seen before. Her hair was down around her shoulders in soft curls and he was sure she’d never been more beautiful than at that exact moment.

“I’m just about ready,” she was saying, and he forced himself to focus on her words. “Do you want to come in?”

“Sure,” Jim muttered, trying to clear the fog that had settled around his brain. “Um, these are for you…”

He held out the bouquet of yellow roses, which he knew were her favorite, and he could see a slight pink fill in her cheeks.

“Thanks Jim,” she gushed. “They are beautiful. Here, come in. Let me get these in some water and grab my purse and I’ll be ready.”

“No rush,” he assured her. “You look beautiful by the way.”

“Thanks,” she called from the kitchen before walking back into the small living area with the roses neatly arranged in a crystal vase. “Would you like a tour?”

“Sure,” he grinned, “I’ve got to see this ‘only one kitchen.’”

She giggled a little bit and the smile on Jim’s face grew a little more. He was sure his face was stretched as far as possible, but it kept growing a little bit every time he remembered that they were actually here, doing this. Dating.

“Very funny,” she teased, “well, obviously this is the living room. Out here is my super tiny screened in porch, and through that door is the kitchen.”

He followed her into the kitchen and grinned at the pictures of the refrigerator. There was one that of them together at a Christmas party several years ago. It had been the Christmas of the teapot, which he also noticed had a spot on a backburner on her stove.

“It seems very you,” he complimented, “I like it.”

“Thanks,” she replied, and caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “That is pretty much it. The first door down the hallway is the bathroom and my one bedroom is the door right after that. It’s small, but it suits me.”

“It does,” Jim agreed, “it’s great. And I love the art on the wall. Is it all yours?”

“Uh yeah,” Pam told him, “just some random pieces. I’m glad you like them.”

“You are incredibly talented Pam,” Jim assured her, “I always knew that.”

Pam smiled again and grabbed her purse from the coffee table in the living room, “Well, I’m ready to go if you are.”

“I am starving,” Jim teased. “It’s been a crazy day…”

His voice drifted off into a slightly awkward silence, and Pam’s smile faltered for a minute. He hadn’t wanted to bring up this particular subject right away. He had hoped to enjoy dinner and some ice cream and then maybe with a walk through the park have the discussion he knew they needed to have.

“Jim…”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I didn’t want to start out the night with this, but…”

“I think we should,” Pam told him. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Jim agreed, “but I really am starving. Can we get dinner first?”

Pam hesitated for a moment before a smile broke out on her face again and she nodded, “Sure, let’s get dinner.”

Jim wasn’t sure if her smile was forced, but he knew that he’d be able to think better after he got something in his stomach. The last thing he’d had to eat was a bag of pretzels that he bought from the gas station on his way out of the city earlier that afternoon.

The car ride to the restaurant was filled with comfortable small talk as Pam told him all about the adventures she’d had while Dwight was in charge.

“So let me get this straight,” Jim interrupted for a moment, “he made you the Secret Assistant Regional Manager?”

“Secret Assistant-to-the-Regional Manger, Jim,” she clarified. “Get it right.”

“I’m sorry Beesly,” he teased. “I wish I could have seen that. I’m sure it was incredible. You must have pulled it off perfectly.”

“I did pretty good, if I do say so myself,” Pam boasted a little, “but I haven’t even got to the good part yet.”

“There’s more?”

“Oh yeah,” she gushed, “two words: Schrute Bucks.”

“What?”

“Schrute Bucks, Halpert. Pay attention, will you?”

“I’m not sure I even want to know what those are.”

“Oh you do,” she assured him, “especially when you come to know that I have saved a file folder worth of them in my desk.”

“Nice!”

“Oh it is,” Pam exclaimed, “besides the fact that they are worth practically nothing.”

“What are we going to do with your stash?”

“Not sure yet,” Pam shrugged, “but we can think of something.” When she looked outside her window she shrieked, “You have to be kidding. I’m not leaving the car. Nope.”

“Come on Pam,” Jim pushed with a teasing glint in his eyes, “It’s just Chili’s.”

“Nope.”

“Okay,” he relented, “I was just kidding. I wouldn’t make you go into Chili’s. We’re actually going to Cuginos.”

“Really?” Pam asked. “That sounds…perfect.”

“I was hoping you’d think that,” Jim said with another face splitting grin. When he pulled into the parking lot of his favorite Italian restaurant, he felt himself grow nervous again. He wasn’t sure why this was so hard.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” Pam asked, suddenly making Jim nervous that he’d actually spoken his last thoughts out loud. She played with the chain aroud her neck as she continued, “I didn’t think it would be weird.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Jim admitted, “but it will get easier, won’t it?”

“I believe so,” Pam agreed, and he got out and went around to her door. Opening it for her, he waited for her to join him. She looked up at him with her big eyes and started talking again, “I know that things might be tough to start out with, but I want this to work. We just have to work together…”

“Nothing would make me happier, Pam,” Jim assured her and wrapped his fingers around hers. “Our toughest hurdle to man…”

“Communication,” they answered in unison, and they immediately both called out, “Jinx.”

“Ha!” Pam exclaimed, “I said it first! But, I’ll allow you to talk…it’d be a pretty boring date if I had to hold up all the talking.”

“Thanks,” Jim laughed. “I’ll remember that next time.”

“You’d better,” she grinned. “Now, are we going to eat or what?”

“Of course we're going to eat,” Jim teased her, “I wouldn’t keep that monster that is your stomach from food.”

“I appreciate that,” Pam exclaimed. “Let’s go.”

He led her into the restaurant, and because of his resourcefulness, they were seated in just a few minutes. After drink orders they were blanketed again in silence.

Jim took a deep breath and started talking before he could stop himself, “I’m sorry. I should have said that ages ago, but I am. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“I did so many things wrong, Pam,” Jim continued after squeezing her hand. “So many things. I didn’t mean to be such an ass.”

Pam chuckled a bit, “I wasn’t blame free either…”

“I put you in a position I never wanted to,” Jim explained. “I didn’t mean to do that to you. It was selfish, and though I can’t really say I regret telling you how I felt, it was pretty crappy timing.”

Pam nodded, not sure what she could say. Jim just kept talking.

“I was planning on talking to you about the transfer,” Jim admitted, “I was really hoping you’d tell me to stay or something like that, but…seeing you look… beautiful, everything came out. My thoughts just jumbled together and I was telling you, well, you know…”

His voice trailed off and Pam waited patiently for him to continue. Before he could their waiter came back and they both quickly ordered.

“In the office that night,” Jim started again when the waiter left their table, “holding you…it felt like this wonderful and crazy dream, but then you pulled away. I know why you did, but, everything came crashing down around me and I felt like I was drowning.”

“Jim…”

“Don’t apologize Pam,” Jim stopped her. “Just, don’t. It was my fault. I just couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t walk into that office every day and see you with his ring on your finger and going by a different last name. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get over you if I saw you every day. So I left.”

“I didn’t want to push you away,” Pam interjected. “And I’m sorry too, Jim. I should have called you after I ended things with Roy. I wanted to, but I was scared.”

“Scared? Of me?”

“Yes. Well no. When you left, I honestly thought you hated me. I meant what I said at the beach, Jim, there were lots of reasons not to marry Roy, but you made me see them. You made me want to listen to them.”

“Pam…”

“It’s my turn, “ she insisted, and Jim nodded. “You were my best friend and I told myself that the feelings I had for you were just that, friendship. But I knew better. And that made me feel guilty. I was engaged and yet, I had a deeper connection with you. That scared me.”

“But…”

“But I’d been with Roy for so long that I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know who else I could be. So, when I ended it with Roy, I was scared that running straight to you wouldn’t end the way I wanted it to. I didn’t want you to be my rebound, and to be honest I didn’t want to rub it in Roy’s face. He was a big part of my life for so long, that I felt I owed it to him to be considerate of his feelings too. He was pretty upset when I told him I wasn’t marrying him.”

“I can understand that,” Jim assured her. “I was torn when I heard you had called off your wedding. It was an emotional day for me.”

“I’m so sorry Jim,” Pam offered again, “I should have been the one to tell you. That much I know. But, by the time I felt I was ready to tell you, that I was ready to see if you still felt the same way about me, the branch was closing down, then it wasn’t and you were coming back. And then Karen was with you…”

“I am an ass,” Jim confirmed to her and Pam smiled a bittersweet smile. “Karen and I struck up a pretty good friendship in Stamford. We joked around, went out for drinks a couple times, but was never too serious. Just fun.”

Pam nodded, but kept silent. Their food was delivered and has Pam started to pick at her plate Jim continued.

“When I found out that Stamford would be the branch closing and Jan offered me a position back here, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure if I could handle being around you again. I was certain you didn’t feel the way I did and I panicked. Karen, well, she sort of became my buffer. I’m sorry I hurt her, but…but I could never feel for her what I feel for you.”

“Jim, what happened today in New York?”

“My interview with David started out great. Not to sound…boastful, but I had a feeling I was the front-runner for the job. When I pulled out my expense reports I found your note. And things just stopped.”

“Okay…?”

“David was asking me what I liked about the Scranton branch and all I could see was your face. And then he asked me about my future and where I saw myself in ten years and once again, you were the only thing I could see. Sitting in his office I saw a future that I’d always dreamed about fading into nothing while something completely different took its place. And it was something I wasn’t comfortable with.”

“Then?”

“I apologized for wasting his time,” he continued, “and withdrew my name from consideration and left. Then I had to call Karen.”

Jim grew silent for a moment and Pam chewed on her bottom lip waiting as she waited for him to go on.

“I really didn’t want to hurt her, but I did. And I feel awful for it. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated her, but I couldn’t get away from there fast enough. I had to get back here, to you, to see if we really could do this.”

“I’m sorry you hurt her too,” Pam consoled him. “But I’d be lying if I told you I was upset that you did it. When you came into the conference room and asked me out for tonight, man, I was flying.”

“When you said yes,” Jim smiled, “well, let’s just say that even the weird conversation I had with Michael right after couldn’t bring me down.”

Jim threaded his fingers through hers again and squeezed gently. “I’m fully dedicated to making this work Pam. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I’m with you,” she replied with a bright smile, “all the way.”

“Good,” Jim exclaimed. “Do you want to know anything else?”

“I think we pretty much covered as much as I can handle tonight,” Pam suggested and Jim nodded in his agreement. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jim agreed, quickly paid their bill, and walked back out to his car. The ride back to Pam’s house was filled with a much lighter banter and Jim felt as if he was walking on air. When he walked Pam up to her door she turned to look at him and fumbled with her keys.

“Do you…” she started, “do you want to come in?”

“As much as I would love to Pam,” Jim assured her, “I’m not going to. I’m going to be a gentleman, give you a kiss goodnight, and go home. But I’ll definitely be calling for a second date.”

Pam smiled and allowed him to give her a chaste kiss goodnight.

“I had a great time tonight Jim.”

“Me too,” he told her. “I can’t wait to do it again, soon. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” she nodded, and Jim waited to head back to his car until she was securely inside and he head the lock slip into place. Their first date was over and Jim slipped back to his car, grinning the whole time.

Ten thousand eight hundred and three

What a long day. It started one way in a big, unfamiliar city, and ended right where I’ve supposed to be all along.

I couldn’t have imagined a first date with Pam like the one we had tonight. Sure, it was overshadowed in some places by the crap we’ve put ourselves through in the last several months, but overall, it turned out pretty darn good if you ask me.

I’m not looking forward to facing Karen again. I hurt her, badly, I know that…and I am truly sorry for it. I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just, did.

I can’t regret it though. Pam is my future. I can’t doubt that for a minute. And although the road to here as been bumpy and it isn’t about to get completely smooth, I’m ready to weather the storm with her by my side.

Hum, I wonder if it is too early to tell her that I love her. That I never stopped. I guess we’ll have to wait and see…