Today was going to be a bad day. She hadn't even cut on the phones yet and she knew, just from the way Michael kept staring into the conference room as Mr. Brown set up the diversity meeting. He had a mischievous gleam in his eye and when he walked back towards his office, he gave her a weird smile, and Pam shook her head as if to say, please don't. Just don't. He probably would ignore her warning.

The cameras were here now, and Michael, who had always been...different, seem to up the anti with the cameras there. Pam just prayed that they had a good editing team that didn't want the Scranton branch to look like idiots. Probably not.

Someone had found Michael offensive enough to call corporate, which was why MR. Brown was here. Apparently Michael believed he did a good impression of Chris Rock, which he was disastrously wrong about.  When Jan called him about it, Pam had listened in, as was her secretarial duty to do, and Michael was livid.

"It was just an impression! I love Chris Rock? Who doesn't like Chris Rock?"

Jan's voice boomed out of the speakerphone. "Apparently someone doesn't, Michael. And Chris Rock's material isn't conducive to the workplace. It was inappropriate and now we have to send someone-"

"Stanley didn't have to rat me out." Michael had replied into the phone.

A long pause was on Jan's end, and Pam could picture her rubbing her temples in frustration. "Michael, I can't say who reported it."

"I know it was Stanley."

Again Jan paused. Pam bit her tongue and looked down at her hands.

"Michael-" Jan began again.

"I just wish he's come to me, ya know? I have an open door policy here in Scranton."

God, this was too hilarious to believe.

"It wasn't Stanley Michael. Stanley didn't report you."

"Oscar?"

Jan's voice was steady. "No."

Pam watched the camera pan to Michael. She knew who did it and she was glad they did. When Jim told her who did, Pam nearly fell out her chair.

"Meredith?"

"Yep."

"Whoa, go Meredith."

"I know. Apparently Michael not only offends races, but genders as well."

She sat back out at her desk, grossly involved in her FreeCell game to keep awake until summoned into the conference room. Roy had kept her up all night, his buddies were over watching the game and they didn't seem to understand how loud they were, so she didn't get to sleep until Roy let them out and passed out next to her at 3 am. She yawned and focused back on her screen, praying Michael wouldn't come over to her desk. The sound of paper shredding caught her attention and she turned to see Dwight shoving anything he could into his mini shredder at his desk.  He shoved paper after paper into it, and the sound was annoying, she couldn't concentrate on her game.

She looked at Jim, who was conducting a sales call, a look of distain on his face as he tried to ignore Dwight. But she could see his resolve cracking and she was very proud of him that he was doing his best to refrain from shoving Dwight's tie in there.

Look at Halpert, ever the professional, she smiled to herself. If it was her she would do her best to unplug the damned thi- oh smooth Halpert. He just did. Jim cradled the phone in between his shoulder and chin, and reached over and flicked off the powercell switch. Of course Dwight wouldn't let that go, and he in turn disconnected Jim's call.

Pam tried her best not to stare, but it was like watching a snake swallow a canary. Jim clenched his jaw and glared at Dwight. But she could see something else in his eye, something that made her blush a bit...he was plotting.  He lifted himself up and walked over to her desk, partaking of the jelly beans she keeps there. They are mostly for him, a bribe to come over and tell her his sinister thoughts and plans.  If it weren't for the jellies, she doubted Jim would ever come to talk to her.

Jim leans a bit over to see her screen, and he was so close, Pam was afraid to look at him. "Solitaire?"

"Yeah, Freecell."

He leaned in closer and pointed to her screen. For a minute, Pam was very aware of the sent of fresh spring soap, fresh laundry and a hint of light aftershave that filled her nose. Smells nice, she'd have to ask him what he used, and get Roy some. "Six on the seven."

"I know, I saw that." She clicked her mouse.

"So then, why didn't you do it?" he chuckled.

"I'm saving that, 'cause I like it when the cards go T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch." She couldn't believe she made the sound. Now he'd make fun of her for being so childish.  

Of course not. Not Jim. He simply smiled and shrugged. "Who doesn't love that?"

A few clicks later, Pam cleared her throat. "I thought for a minute you were going to kill Dwight."

"Naw, I'm too pretty to go to prison." Jim replied glancing over at his screen. "Besides, I have to get this sale today. That's my focus."

"Big sale?"

"Yeah."

"Good luck." Pam smiled as Jim pushed back off the counter and went to his seat.

Pam was settling back into a new game of FreeCell when Michael beckoned them into the conference room. Jim seemed annoyed, having just picked up the phone, but he settled in quietly as Mr. Brown began his presentation. Michael was in rare form, even frustrating a calm man like Mr. Brown. Pam rolled her eyes so much, she assumed the next time she did it,  they might just roll out her head. She wished Jim wasn't so preoccupied with his sale today, though she understood, she would have loved for him to sit with her and make fun of this whole thing. But he was rather jumpy and kept looking at his phone.

Once Michael had scared Mr. Brown away, he still wouldn't let anyone return to their desks. He wanted to do something to teach diversity and it almost made Pam want to gag on the irony of it all. So he had them pick cards and not read them before taping them to their foreheads. Pam didn't want to do this, she was way too tired and now very irritated as she stared hard at Dwight's card.  She wasn't in the mood to offend anyone but Michael.  Relief set in when Jim pushed through the crowd and focused on Dwight. Get ‘em, Tiger, Pam giggled to herself. Jim attached the sign to Dwight's forehead and Pam's sides hurt from holding back intense laughter.

As the day winded down, Pam sat in the back of the conference room, barely listening to Michael dredge on and on about diversity. Like he would know it if it bit him in the ass. She could feel herself blacking out and when Jim had come back from his desk, his face slightly fallen, Pam wanted to ask him what happened, but barely had the strength. He sat down next to her, and she could feel herself slowly falling, falling, her eyelids heavy from lack of sleep and sheer boredom.

She didn't know she had fallen asleep on Jim's shoulder. She just knew she felt comfortable and he didn't flinch or nudge her awake. No he let her sleep and he smelled like fresh spring soap, laundry and a light aftershave...the kind she wanted to buy Roy.

It was only when he whispered "Um...hey", did she wake up. Did she drool on him? Where was she? What time was it? Pam stood up and walked to her desk, still tired but a little more rested. She glanced over at the conference room, where Jim was about to give a talking head, a huge smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She had a theory. It might have seemed harsh, but she had enough evidence to believe, Michael was slightly retarded. He had to be to do this. To actually give Dwight power over their healthcare coverage. He originally dragged Jim in there to do it, but Jim declined, which now she was sure he was mentally kicking himself for doing. Anyone else but Dwight. The cameras were on Michael now, and Pam focused her energy on becoming "zen" and not wanting to throttle anyone today.

Dwight. Of all people. Honestly Jim.

Dwight had somehow convinced Michael into letting him convert the conference room into a "work space" and Pam shook her head in disgust. To allow that man to have any say in who her doctor will be made her cringe.  She shook it off and opened another game of FreeCell.

Dwight pounced out of the "workspace", and tossed a sheet of paper at Pam. She read it over. You can not be serious. Michael called her extension from the confines of his office, bunkered down as if he had to protect himself. He better, because this insurance doesn't cover being beaten down by co-workers. She looked over at Jim, who chewed at his pen top, his brow furrowed and staring at the paper handed to him.  He glanced up at her.

You coming? His eyes said.

Oh hell yeah, her eyes said back.

They both got up and Pam approached Jim. "Let me talk to him. You'll just get him all frazzled and he won't listen."

"I don't know if I can. Sometimes, he's begging me to say something mean to him."

"Just this once Halbert?"

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, following Pam into the "workspace".

"Dwight, what-?" Pam started but she saw his face and felt the intense urge to throw a pie at it.

"Uh, knock, please. Please knock. This is an office," he muttered at them.

"It says ‘workspace'." Jim replied and Pam looked over at him.

You couldn't last two seconds, could ya Halpert?

He looked back. Nope.

Dwight frowned. "Same thing."

"If it's the same thing, then why did you write ‘workspace'?" Jim questioned and Pam let out a sigh. HE couldn't help, Dwight brought it out of him.

However she was enjoying Dwight's face turning red."Just knock, Please? As a sign of respect for your superior."

"You are NOT my superior." Jim snorted and by then Pam knew this could go on forever without them resolving the insurance issue. They bickered for another minute before Pam spoke up frustrated.

"Okay! Dwight. Are you really in charge of picking the health care plan?"

Dwight went on about how he did what was good for the company, eliminated anything extra, like vision, and preventative care. He claimed to have superior genetics and Pam had to bite back the statement that such superior genetics for a  north eastern mid regional paper salesman. But she didn't want to insult Jim since he sold paper too so she said nothing. They exited the "workspace" slightly defeated, but Jim had that look in his eye.

Pam knew exactly what to do and she couldn't help but smile thinking about it.

Michael had escaped after being cornered by everyone, and Pam sat irritated at her desk after Dwight demanded to know everyone's confidential diseases. So when Jim gave her a knowing smirk, she jotted down her own, wondering how confidential they could be.

When Dwight stomped out of the "workspace", flailing his arms about, Jim was standing calmly by Pam's desk. She still admired how calm he could  be when pranking Dwight when alls he wanted to do was laugh so loud it almost hurt to hold it in.

"Alright, who did this? I'm not mad. I just want to know who did it so I can punish them." He growled out and everyone stood staring at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Uh, someone forged, uh, medical information and that is a felony. " Dwight spat, holding up a stack of papers.

"Okay, whoa. 'Cause that is a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?"  

"Uh, leprosy? Flesh eating bacteria. Hot-dog fingers. Government-created killer nanorobot infection.."

Angela was turning blue trying to hold back her laughter and Stanley wiped tears from his eyes. Dwight continued his rant and Pam watched Jim work Dwight into a frenzy. She loved watching him do that. It gave much meaning to her day and sometimes she would go home and tell Roy what new thing Jim did to Dwight, but he would just nod and keep watching the game. Guess you had to see it to care. Dwight had stormed back into his "workspace" and Pam looked up to see Jim grinning at her, leaning on her counter.

"Killer nanorobots? "

She had impressed him. And that made her feel special.

She shrugged and gave her best innocent grin. "It's an epidemic."