“Bye-bye, Maddie,” Jim responded on command. It was a game they played every night at bedtime, the sound of the rhyming words dissolving Maddie into a fit of laughter each time. For some reason she did not like to say ‘good night’, it was always ‘bye-bye’.
“Bye-Bye, Daddy!” More giggling.
“Bye-Bye, Maddie.” Jim’s reply was softer the second time as he closed the door partially behind him, leaving just enough space for the warm glow of light from the hall to spill into Maddie’s room. Darkness frightened her and even the Disney Princess nightlight was not enough to keep the monsters away. He wondered how she could sleep through the ruckus her older siblings made, but somehow the youngest Halpert child managed to nearly every night.
Jim padded down the hall to check on the rest of the kiddos as Pam’s voice drifted from the kitchen. She was attempting to help Olivia with her math homework, but math had never been Pam’s strong suit. He could hear them becoming frustrated with another by their tones until finally there was an exasperated sigh and a textbook slamming closed.
“I don’t get it, Mom. I give up, math is stupid,” he heard Olivia declare. He could imagine her sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed defiantly. Olivia was the most headstrong of their four children and stubborn as a mule.
Jim didn’t hear Pam’s reply as he ducked into the room Jack and Gavin shared to check on the boys. Seeing both his sons sound asleep, Jim exited the room just as quietly as he had entered and nearly collided with Pam in the hallway. The annoyance on her face was plain as day.
“Please explain to your daughter why she needs to know math,” Pam requested, gesturing back toward the kitchen.
“So she’s only mine now?” Jim teased. “Why is it that they belong only to me when they’ve done something to annoy you, broken something, or gotten into trouble at school?”
“Because that’s how it works, I guess I should have explained that to you before we started having them, sorry about that.” Pam winked at him. “Are the boys asleep? How did Jack sound?”
“Yeah, I just checked on them. He’s breathing a lot better tonight than last night, the stuffy nose has finally cleared up. I put Maddie back in bed for the second time already, but I don’t know how long that will last.”
“Is she still dressed?”
“She was five minutes ago. But she was also wide awake…”
Maddie had started a new game recently which involved stripping off every article of clothing, including her diaper, and running around the house completely naked. They’d begun the process of potty-training and for some reason that had triggered Maddie’s need for nudity. There were so many nights they’d put her down for bed and not half an hour later, she’d managed to climb out of her crib and be in the living room with not a stitch of clothing at all. Other nights she’d simply fall asleep after tossing her pajamas out of the crib – but because she wasn’t yet fully potty-trained, accidents were still common and she could make quiet a mess.
“I’ll check on her, you deal with the drama queen.” Pam gave Jim a playful shove toward the kitchen, then continued on her way to check on their little nudist.
It was near ten by the time the house was finally quiet. Jack had woken up in that time, complaining of a stomach ache and promptly running for the bathroom to vomit. Pam had quickly made a make-shift bed for Gavin in her and Jim’s room, not wanting to risk him getting sick as well. Olivia had sulked her way through finishing the dreaded math assignment, despite her protest that math was, in fact, the “dumbest thing ever thought of by some dumb guys who wanted to torture kids.”
Pam sat on the couch, a cup of tea in one hand as she and Jim watched the evening news. He was stretched out the length of the couch, his head in her lap, using her leg for a pillow. Their conversations were slow, hushed, commenting on news stories here and there but mainly just enjoying the relaxation of it being just the two of them for a little while. Pam’s other hand rested lightly on Jim’s chest as he toyed with the ring on her finger when a loud thud sounded from somewhere down the hall. Jim got to his feet quickly and headed for Maddie’s room; her complete lack of fear when it came to heights often landed her literally upside down on the floor next to her crib many times. It was the logical first choice.
Sure enough, just as Jim pushed the door open a bit farther, Maddie came running from the room, as naked as the day she was born. She darted past Jim before he could catch her and ran as fast as her wobbly little legs could carry her. Luckily Pam was just rounding the corner and Maddie toddled right into her mother, falling back on her bottom.
“Madeleine Ellayna Halpert…” Pam sighed, but was unable to suppress the laugh. It was just too amusing to see her youngest child grinning happily, completely oblivious to the fact that running around naked was generally frowned upon in most places.
“Momma, potty.”
“You need to use the big girl potty?” Pam asked. They’d been doing well so far in getting the routine during the day, but nighttime was almost always a different story.
“Nooo, Momma. Maddie go potty.” She pointed to her room.
“Oh, crap…” Jim scooped up his youngest child and headed straight for the bathroom as Pam entered Maddie’s bedroom. Sure enough, her pajamas were on the floor, along with her bone-dry diaper. The sheets inside the crib were a different story however. Pam quickly set about the task of gathering the wet items to throw into the washing machine. Luckily they’d covered the mattress with a plastic mat so everything below said sheets was okay. Pam gingerly wadded up the sheets, blanket, and even Maddie’s favorite stuffed bear, all in sudden desperate need of a wash.
As Pam was heading to laundry room, Jim emerged from the bathroom with Maddie swathed in a bright pink towel to keep her from getting cold after the impromptu bath.
“Daddy wash,” Maddie informed her mother.
“I know,” Pam replied. “Because Maddie wet her bed.”
“Maddie dry. Maddie go bye bye.” The toddler pointed to her room, tugging at Jim’s shirt with her other hand.
“You fix the bed, I’ll put these in the wash…” Pam turned with sheets in hand and disappeared around the corner as Jim pushed open Maddie’s door and deposited the toddler in the rocking chair as he pulled fresh bedding from one of her dresser drawers. Tucking the edges in under the small mattress, the crib was ready in mere seconds – Jim had become an expert at this after having gone through this with the three previous kids as well. However, with the older ones, they’d been potty-trained within a few weeks. Maddie was being stubborn; they were going on two months now and it was as though she was simply toying with her parents, purposely drawing out the process.
Next Jim retrieved fresh pajamas and a new diaper, re-clothing his daughter with little struggle. It was well past her bedtime and Maddie was obviously tired. She rubbed her eyes and she babbled to one of her dolls, inventing her own language as the conversation went along. A few moments later Pam appeared in the doorway, just in time to see Jim put Maddie back in the crib.
“Okay baby girl, sleepy time.” Jim tousled Maddie’s auburn curls as he tucked the covers in around her.
“Bye-bye Daddy…” Maddie yawned as the words left her mouth, and she clutched her doll close.
“Bye-bye Maddie.” Jim knew within moments she’d be asleep once again.
“Bye-bye…Daddy…” Another yawn. Her eyes were closed as Jim pulled the door behind him as he responded softly once again with their bedtime ritual.
Once out in the hall, Pam could only shrug her shoulders. “Do you think it’s considered child abuse to duct tape her diaper on at night?”
“God Beesly, I hope you’re joking…” Jim paused to consider it, thinking about the mess earlier. “But on second thought…”
Maybe it was something to keep in mind.
