Wow.

So I thought Pam was just drawing or doodling or something in this notebook this whole time but it seems she was actually talking to you. 

That's awesome!

Let me defend myself here for a sec.  I just found this in the bag we packed to take to the hospital.  No.  I'm not a snoop. I was simply trying to get the magazine I'd stashed in there because both you and your mom are sound asleep right now.

I can't seem to settle down.

It's been quite a day.

Anyway, I was trying to pass the time and once I read the first letter I couldn't stop myself.  And now that I've read them all I don't know.  I think I should take the time to clarify a few things.   I feel like the view you're getting is a bit one sided.

Ready?  Ok here we go...

1) I was never more shocked and amazed than the day we found out about you. Honestly. I already felt like the luckiest man alive but you were definitely the icing on the cake. It was like...the greatest thing ever.  And a lot of great things have happened lately so that's saying something.

Really. It was.

2) I am not insane. I think it's important to be informed. And it's not like your mom didn't read those books too.

Seriously. Always throwing me under the bus. You better keep your eye on her. She's sneaky like that.

3) She's the crazy one. She's amazing and she's going to be amazing with you. It's one of the things I have to constantly keep telling her. I have never known someone as kind or as good at taking care of people as your mom is. She's had tons of practice with Michael and he's as much like a kid as anyone. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's not a perfect person. She's got a little bit of a...how should I say it...devious streak and can get pretty cranky at times but I love that about her too.

Basically I gotta say you sort of hit the lottery as far as mothers go. I should know. I hit the lottery when it comes to wives.

4) We did not accidentally have sex. It's not always planned per se - but it's never an accident

5) That was a really weird thing to tell you. I'm never mentioning it again.

6) Here's something that you're going to get tired of hearing. I love your mother - so much it's crazy. She is the most amazing person I've ever known and I'm so lucky to have her.

Really. She's the best.  And so incredibly creative.

You should see how she painted your room. It's so cool. I want to charge people admission to come and look at it. Like a museum or something. It's that good.

7) You really gave her a rough time at the beginning and I gotta tell you it was really hard to sit by and watch. I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better but could do nothing to really help her. That wasn't much fun. At all.

8) I hope you're not self conscious on camera. That camera crew? They've already gotten some footage of you. Don't worry - I'm going to be sure to limit how close they actually get to you. The crew is great - but I'm feeling pretty protective of you right about now.

9) I'm also going to keep you away from Dwight - because being anywhere near Dwight is really not safe for anyone - especially someone as small as you.

10) You are ridiculously small. Honestly - how does that even happen?

11) I actually know how it happens. That was a rhetorical question.

12) If you ever happen to meet Dwight despite my best intentions - please treat any question he asks you as rhetorical. It's really your best defense.

13) The first time we saw you? You were even smaller than your were now, and looked - well, kind of like some sort of reptile if I'm being honest. I thought Dwight might be right in saying you were an alien for a while there. But even so, I made sure to show you off to anyone who stood near me for more than five seconds. I still have that picture in my wallet. I think it's just going to get worse now.

I'm gonna be that guy I guess. I can't believe that now you look like an actual real baby.

Well. You are a real baby but still. I can't believe that you're here.

Insane.

14) We have plenty of life insurance now - no worries.

15) I can't remember the exact day I knew I loved your mom - but it's definitely been a while. And there was a time when I thought we'd never, ever be together. And sometimes I did stuff to make sure that we never were - if I'm being honest.

I had to pinch myself the day we got married to really believe it was true. I know this sounds corny, but I'm not at all myself without her. During the time I wasn't with her I was...broken is the best way I think to describe it.

It's ok though. Everything's fixed now. Has been for awhile. You've got nothing to worry about.

16) On a much, much lighter note I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the fact that your mom was the one who messed up and told the people we work with about you. That was a good day.

17) Really. Don't ever talk to Dwight.

18) I am going to have to spend the rest of my life making up to your mother for what just happened here in the hospital. I am 100% sure I will never have possession of the remote again. Not to mention that now I'm gonna have to watch Cranford aren't I? You know what? It's okay. Totally worth it.

19) Everything I bought you? You absolutely need it. Your mom is just jealous I didn't get her a chair with an umbrella.

20) I don't often remember disagreeing with your mom - but I remember that night.

21) Umm...we totally made up. That's really all you need to know.

22) I could totally take Bob Villa in a cage match.

23) I never was ever even close to losing it. I was completely cool and calm the entire time. I don't care what she tries to tell you.

(By the way - both Grandmas made it.  I knew it was a good idea to keep an eye on the traffic.)

24) You're going to need to accept this.  It's better you realize it while you're young. 

Your mother is completely crazy...she's going to be so great with you.

Honestly? You kind of owe her one little thing. It was not an easy road getting you here. Take it easy on her at the beginning. Take it easy on me too if you don't mind. We're both really new at this.

25) If she drops you - which she won't - I promise I'll catch you.

Happy to have you here with us Jellybean.  It's gonna be so great. 

Just wait and see.

Love,

Dad