INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE - D1
Michael has shut off all the lights in his office. He is
perched on the edge of his desk. Dwight is sitting in the
chair in front of the desk. Michael turns on his desk lamp
and angles it so that the light is shining in Dwight's eyes.
MICHAEL
Are you comfortable, Mr. Schrute?
DWIGHT
This won't work.
MICHAEL
What won't work?
DWIGHT
This is a classic interrogation
technique. You're trying to
disorient me.
MICHAEL
(talking over Dwight's last
line)
I'm trying to disorient you, huh?
(picks up the desk lamp and shoves
it closer to Dwight's face) That's
disorienting you!
DWIGHT
(shielding his eyes)
What do you want, Michael?
Michael sets the desk lamp back on the desk. He is clearly
playing good cop-bad cop... by himself.
MICHAEL
What do I want? What do you want?
Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Water? Women? Beets?
DWIGHT
Don't bring beets into this.
MICHAEL
I'm just trying to make you
comfortable. (he crumples up a
Post-It and throws it at Dwight's
forehead) Why are you planning a
party for me!?
DWIGHT
(shoots a knowing look at the
camera)
I'm not. I have no idea what you're
talking about.
MICHAEL
Liar! I saw you! I saw you Google!
DWIGHT
Let me explain.
MICHAEL
Let you explain how you
deliberately went against my
wishes? Let you explain how you
betrayed me?
DWIGHT
I didn't betray you! I want you to
have a good party! The party
planning committee is just going to
mess it up! They're imbeciles!
MICHAEL
You don't know that. You haven't
even seen their themes! They have
themes, Dwight! What do you have?
DWIGHT
Horses.
MICAHEL
I - What?
DWIGHT
I have horses. And a plough.
MICHAEL
Why... Why would you think I would
enjoy that? Unless... (beat) Do you
have the midget that rides the
horse? Like at the race track?
DWIGHT
(glances at camera)
No.
Michael shuts off the desk lamp. They are in complete
darkness.
MICHAEL
Get out.
INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA - D1
Pam is at her desk. Jim is leaning on the desk.
JIM
Under the Sea?
PAM
It's a work anniversary party, not
a junior prom.
JIM
(amused)
Ouch, Beesly.
Dwight walks angrily over to the desk.
DWIGHT
Pam, I demand to see the themes the
party planning committee has put
together for Michael's party.
PAM
(turning notebook over so
Dwight can't read it)
No. Michael told you he didn't want
you to help.
DWIGHT
Michael doesn't know what's best
for him. Let me see.
JIM
I think you're taking this too far.
Maybe you should just forget about
it.
DWIGHT
And maybe you should be less of a
girl. (to Pam) I have other ways of
getting that information.
PAM
Like how, Dwight?
DWIGHT
I will climb into the ceiling. I
will wait. When you turn your back
to send a fax or draw one of your
meaningless doodles, I will propel
from the ceiling, quieter than a
martial arts master, and snatch the
notebook from you.
PAM
Okay. Yeah. Lets do that.
Dwight glares at her, then turns and walks back to his desk.
JIM
Is it just me or is he really
annoying today?
PAM
He definitely is.
JIM
(getting an idea)
Hey. Can you look up the Hadron
Collider?
INT. OFFICE - JIM AND DWIGHT'S DESKS - D1
Jim and Dwight are at their desks, working. Jim's phone
rings.
JIM
(on phone)
Hello? ... Oh, Uncle Francis. Yeah.
Yeah, I called you earlier about
the Hadron Collider.
Dwight's interest is obviously piqued. He begins listening
in.
JIM
Someone I work with told me about
it and I know how you’re working on
the project, so I... Oh wow. Really?
Things aren't going well? ... Oh, my
God. How - How much time do we have
left before... Oh no. I mean, you
can't be sure that it... A black
hole? Definitely? ... Wow. I - Okay.
No, I understand. I'll call you
later. ... Bye.
Jim hangs up the phone. He looks shaken by what he has
heard.
JIM (CONT'D)
(to himself, loud enough for
Dwight to hear)
I have to tell Pam. We might not
have much time left together.
Jim gets up from his desk, hiding a smile as he walks toward
the reception desk.
Dwight is staring after him, his face frozen in terror.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
He deserves it today.
INT. KITCHEN - LATER - D1
Jim is retrieving something from the fridge. Dwight
approaches him.
DWIGHT
What do you know about the Large
Hadron Collider?
JIM
You heard that? No one's supposed
to know. (looks around to make sure
no one is listening, exaggerated
whisper) Well, after you told me
about it, I called my uncle.
Francis Farley. He's a scientist
and he -
DWIGHT
I know who he is.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
I've been sending hate mail to all
the scientists working on the Large
Hadron Collider for months. I saw
their YouTube video. (beat) Wasn't
impressed.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS - D1
JIM
It turns out he was actually
working on the project. So I asked
him about it and what was going on
and... Dwight, they've made a black
hole. It's not very big now, but
it's growing. Fast. By the end of
the week, the universe will be
pulled into it.
DWIGHT
(whisper)
My God. (beat) Michael's party.
Jim looks at the camera -- this is where Dwight's priorities
lie?
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE - D1
It is the end of the day. Michael has gathered the party
planning committee in his office. Pam is holding a notebook.
MICHAEL
So. Do you have something for me?
PAM
We have a list.
MICHAEL
Oooh. Okay. Let me get ready.
Michael leans back in his chair and closes his eyes.
PAM
(reading from notebook)
Black and white. College. Hawaii.
Hollywood. Toga. The sixties.
Carnival.
MICHAEL
(opening his eyes)
Wow. Wow. Those... are good. I was
ready to fire you ladies, but you
really brought the goods.
PHYLLIS
So, you like them?
MICHAEL
Yes. Yes, I do, Phyllis.
PAM
Okay! What one do you want for your
party?
Michael thinks it over. He pulls out his Carnac the
Magnificent turban and motions for Pam to hand him the
notebook. He rips up the suggestions into little pieces and
places them into the turban. He shakes the turban, then
pulls out one of the pieces of paper. He holds it up to the
camera.
MICHAEL
We have a winn-ah! The sixties!
Pam begins clapping but stops when no one else joins in.
MICHAEL
Alright. Excellent. (beat) So, you
should probably get to work on
putting that together, huh?
ANGELA
Michael, it's the end of the day.
MICHAEL
That's not an attitude that's going
to put a party together. Do some
work for once, huh?
Pam, Angela, and Phyllis walk out of the room, slamming the
door behind them.
Michael grins at the camera.
MICHAEL
Drama queens. (holds up the piece
of paper again) The sixties!
Swinging sixties! Groovy.
INT. OFFICE - JIM AND DWIGHT'S DESKS - D1
Jim is gathering his things to go home for the end of the
day. Dwight approaches him.
DWIGHT
How much longer do we have? What
did Farley tell you?
JIM
This is top secret stuff, Dwight.
How do I know I can trust you?
DWIGHT
(takes a deep breath)
I'll give up working on Michael's
party.
JIM
Okay. That's serious. Here's the
deal - the black hole is going to
grow so large that it's going to
suck in the universe. We won't be
able to feel it coming, so the
scientists are keeping it under
wraps because they don't want to
panic everyone. On Thursday, at
2:07 P.M., the world is ending.
Dwight takes a deep breath and appears to brace himself. He
puts a hand on Jim's shoulder.
DWIGHT
(gravely)
Thank you.
Jim salutes him and Dwight walks away.
Pam walks over to Jim's desk.
PAM
I feel a little bad.
JIM
Yeah, me too. Just a little though.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali