No Copyright infringement is intended. This is just for fun.

It was after 6pm when they finally left the office; Jim with his briefcase and several files under his arm as they made their way to their SUV.  She could do nothing but stare at his back and those stupid files as he rounded to the driver's side. 

When he carried things under his arm it meant he was planning on working on something at home.  He said it was because if he put them away into his briefcase he'd just find a way to act like they weren't there once they got home.

"Oh no...see I'm really good at tricking my brain into believing I have nothing to do,"  he'd joked after they'd first gotten back from their honeymoon.

These days he wasn't so good at tricking his brain anymore.

She thought briefly (and slightly insanely) about pulling the files from under his arm and scattering their contents around the parking lot - letting the wind blow them all away.  With her luck though, he'd probably go running after all of them and wind up catching each one.

Pam knew she should have been admiring the pride he was taking in his job lately, but all she could think every time she saw all that work under his arm was, "Goodbye evening with your new husband."

Tonight, instead of spending time together he'd sit on the living room sofa only half paying attention to what she said, and then she would go out into her studio and not paint. Because she couldn't. Because as it turned out, Pam did her best work when she was happy.

In fact, was pretty hard-pressed to understand all the classic masterpieces that had been created under circumstances of extreme misery.  All misery did was make her feel uninspired. All misery created for her were more blank canvases.

The baby interrupted her thoughts, pressing solidly against her lower side. Pam leaned her head back against the headrest, shutting her eyes to the sudden intense pressure. 

"You ok?....."

She nodded silently with her eyes still shut.

"You sure?...I'm sorry we're just now leaving" Jim said sighing. 

And she knew by his tone that he was really sorry, but somehow his apology fell flat.  Maybe because she wasn't really mad at him for staying late at work. They'd been together. They could've made it enjoyable, but they hadn't.

"Maybe we need to start coming in separate cars for awhile?...I mean, I know we talked about selling the Prius, but for now...I don't know...What do you think?...That way if I need to stay late you get to go home and get some rest."

Pam squeezed her eyes shut more tightly. It sounded like the worst suggestion she'd ever heard. It sounded like just another way he could shut her out.  It sounded like less time together.

She felt suddenly like she might barf.

"Pam?...You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah," She said keeping her eyes closed. "Baby's just doing weird things tonight...," She tried adjusting the seatbelt so she could be more comfortable, but the truth was that since she'd entered her 7th month she hadn't been comfortable at all - ever.  The baby was rapidly outgrowing the present accommodations.

How that was possible, she didn't understand; given that she was fatter everyday.  If she were Jim maybe she wouldn't want to touch her either...her body, had to freak him out a little.

His voice was so tender when he reached out to touch her cheek.  The backs of his fingers felt cool and soft. "You think a warm bath'll help?"

Her throat tightened, "I don't know...maybe."

Jim turned back to the road.  Silence settled inside the car for a long moment. Neither of them reaching to turn on the radio.

After a moment, Jim cleared his throat. "Um...tomorrow afternoon I think I'm driving to Dunmore...There's this job...maybe."

Trying not to trip over her tongue, Pam turned to him.  It shouldn't have been this exciting to get a morsel of information from your husband, but it was.  "Oh...are you...I didn't realize you were looking around -

"Yeah...a little. I mean...it's not a big deal. I'm sure I won't need it, but I figured why not you know? It can't hurt to see what else is out there."

Pam nodded, rubbing her belly.  Maybe she could just push the baby over a little if she pressed on the right side. God...

A very conscious part of her brain knew that her constant discomfort was part of the reason she was so cranky lately, but an even larger part of her brain knew there was more to it than that.

"Right...Do you think I should be looking too? I mean I don't know who'd hire me like this," she said gesturing towards her belly. "But I could at least see what's out there and maybe -

"No, Pam...I mean...like I said, it's gonna be fine. I'm honestly just being overly cautious."

Everything's Fine. It's all just fine Pam.

The next time she heard that word she was going to scream.  Instead she focused her attention on her breathing.  She could literally feel her blood pressure starting to rise. She couldn't afford to get upset now.   Not when he was telling her what he was telling her.  She'd been waiting for him to open up, and now he was...at least a little.

"How'd you hear about it?" She asked calmly. "The job, I mean."

"Um...Karen, actually."

Pam's eyes opened, her head lifted from the headrest just a bit. "When did you talk to her?"

"Earlier today...I thought I'd give her a call. I thought I remembered a place she'd almost interviewed awhile back...in Stamford. It's called Cardia-Tech."

Stamford? The word blazed through her mind like a freight train.

He was looking into jobs in Stamford?  Without saying a word to her, he was looking into jobs in Stamford? Stamford would involve them leaving their home.  A home she loved.  A home they both loved.  His childhood home.  He was completely willing to leave all of that behind - without even a conversation?

Breathe...BREATHE.

"...Stamford?  Jim...I mean that's..." Pam lassoed every word that waited anxiously on the tip of her tongue, tugging them backwards. "Jim, that's kind of a big deal."

He shrugged.

Shrugging? What's shrugging mean?

 "I mean...isn't it?"

"Pam, I just said it's a precaution.  It's not a definite or even a probability yet."

"Well, Jim...I'm sorry that I'm questioning why you're ‘precaution'," she said while physically making air quotes, "Is directing you to Stamford."

Jim's jaw clenched. He hated air quotes more than like...anything.  She knew that.

 "It was just something I remembered...that's all," Jim said tightening his fingers along the leather of the steering wheel. 

This was why he hadn't mentioned anything earlier. For precisely this reason.  It wasn't even happening, and she already had a ton of questions that he wouldn't have any answers for.

"Do you have any other contacts from Stamford?"

"Yeah...." He sighed. "A few."

"And have you called them?"

Shit. "Ok...this...Can we not do this right now?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, Jim...When am I supposed to talk about it! Forgive me for wanting to know where I might be living in the near future, Jim!"

"Ah -

Nope. Forget it.  Jim clamped his mouth shut, cutting himself off from whatever it was that he'd been about to say. He didn't even know what the hell he wanted to say anyway.  Maybe, something like: Can you just trust me?  But that was a crock. He hadn't given her any reason to trust him. The truth was, he should have had answers to her questions.

He had a wife and a baby on the way and a mortgage, and what didn't have were any solid answers about their future.

What the hell kind of husband did that make him? What the hell kind of father was that going to make him? And what the hell kind of boss did that make him?  Well...on that score he already knew where he stood.  His grade was an unequivocal ‘F'. 

Jim inhaled through his nose and kept driving. They were just two minutes away from the house.

Silence stretched on between them until they pulled into the driveway.  It was there that she asked. "Were you on the phone with Karen when I came into your office earlier?"

Jim pulled his keys out of the ignition "Yeah. I needed the information for my "precaution" in Stamford, Pam."

He'd never. Never seen her look more angry in his life.  Just earlier in his office, he'd seen her look the most disappointed she'd ever been in him and had sworn anger would be better.  Now he wasn't so sure. 

With eyes blazing, she got out of the car and slammed the passenger side door so hard the car rocked.

"Oh great Jim!...So...Karen knows that we might be moving to Stamford, but I basically am supposed to just sort of come along for the ride...that's nice of you. Tell your ex-girlfriend before you tell your wife. Fantastic!"

He stood dumfounded for a moment as he watched her walk up the drive and towards their front door. He wasn't about to have this fight in front of their house. Silently he reached into the backseat and grabbed his suitcase, slamming his own door before he strode up the drive behind her.

Jim didn't yell when he shut the front door behind him because this was ridiculous. This wasn't something they were going to fight about.  He'd called Karen for job information. She knew that. This was a non-issue.

With his coat still on, he stood in the kitchen, his fingers curling over the edge of a dining room chair as she poured herself a glass of water with her back to him.

"I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain this...but I needed the contact information...That's why I called Karen...I didn't even remember what the name of the company was."

Her voice was calm too.  Way too calm. "Don't worry about it Jim...everything's fine.  You can talk and laugh with Karen as much as you want.  Call and laugh and chat...that's great. Have a good time with that."

He lost it. "Are you kidding me!"

She was dead silent.

Jim shook his head. "Awesome," he muttered and then exited the house the way in which he came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It felt like forever before she could catch her breath.  The tears had come so hard and fast she'd had to sit down. And try as she might to put her head between her knees when the room started to spin she couldn't manage it with the baby in her way. Instead she put her head back and kept her eyes closed, trying to calm down.  Trying not to hyperventilate. 

So the decision she'd made to open up the file labeled, ‘Prospects' that sat on the kitchen table probably hadn't been the wisest.  Not for her own health, and not for the health of their marriage.  But if he wasn't going to tell her what the hell was going on with her own life, she had to find out someway right?

Faulty logic. Unwise choice.

Don't do it. It's totally a... breach of trust to look through his things - even if they're just work things...

But he's the one who'd left it out on the kitchen table, and they were married for God's sake. And he's the one who'd decided to leave instead of fight things out with her.

Fine. Now everything could indeed be fine, because she'd find out for herself what was happening.

It was nothing anyway.  Nothing so awful he couldn't just tell her.

The file contained nothing confidential; just a ton of contacts. Some she'd heard of, some she hadn't.  Many she recognized from invoices that had passed her desk when she'd been the receptionist, or faxes she'd made.  Some were from Stamford - a lot were from Stamford.  They'd joked around a thousand times about how focused on actual work he'd been there.  That he'd probably made more money for the company in those few months at Stamford than he had in all his years in Scranton. 

Why couldn't he just tell her this now?  Why couldn't they just laugh about this the way they did everything else?  Why so much secrecy about something so...stupid?

It wasn't that she was absolutely opposed to the idea of living in Stamford. It would be difficult to leave family and friends and this house.  The move would be stressful, but a lot less stressful if they were both on the same page about it.  She'd follow him anywhere. Anywhere.  He could say he'd found a job on the fucking moon and she'd say, "That sucks, but as long as you're there it'll be fine."

And it would be fine.  Really and truly fine.  Not this dumb imitation of fine.

She couldn't understand why he wouldn't just tell her about this stupid list.  If he really thought Dunder-Mifflin was going under it was better that she know that than just sit around wondering and waiting...

As her fingers drifted down the page, she noticed for the first time the little symbols he'd drawn next to each contact or company.  A skull and crossbones she assumed meant it was a no-go, a plus sign probably meant it was promising, and there were actually two companies with stars next to them.  That had to mean those were his favorites. Then there was one with a little heart drawn next to it. And the name Karen written next to it. And a question mark.

A question mark and Karen and a heart.

Pam stared at it for longer than she should have, and then she shut the file.

---------------------------------------------------------------