"I think I'm going to start taking some art classes after work and over the weekend." said Pam as they drove to the office.
"Come on Pam, that's just unnecessary money that we don't need to throw away right now."
"It'd just be a waste of time anyways, it's not like you're going to become a successful artist or anything like that," replied Roy.
Pam just sat there quietly looking out the window.
"You have to take a chance on something sometime, Pam. I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here? Always?"
She thought back to the day Jim said that.
"He's right," she thought.
"Well I'm going to do it anyways Roy, they don't really cost that much either." she finally said after a period of silence.
"Whatever Pam, I don't have time to argue with you right now, we'are almost at the office." snapped Roy as they neared The Scranton Business Park.
Before they got out of Roy's truck he kissed Pam on the cheek.
"See you around 5 babe," as he wandered toward the outside entrance of the warehouse.
Pam didn't say anything, remaining in Roy's truck in a deep, sad train of thought.
She thought about what he said again.
"You have to take a chance on something sometime, Pam. I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here? Always?"
"He's right," this time she said it quietly to herself.
Pam was anxious as she waited for Jim to walk through the door.
The only other two people there were Dwight and Angela.
The door opened and she immediately abandoned her game of solitare as she looked up to see who it was.
Just Michael.
"Paaaam, you look really hot today, if you don't mind me saying," Michael exclaimed as he tossed his briefcase onto the couch.
Pam wasn't really in the mood for Michael's antics today, but she was glad someone paid attention to her, even if it was Michael.
"Thank you, Michael," replied Pam forcing a smile.
"No really, I mean it, you look like one of those girls from that movie I saw over the weekend," said Michael with a hint of sincerity in his voice.
"What movie," asked Pam as a real smile formed on her face.
"Uhh, jeez, what was it called?"
"Oh wait, I remember!" shouted Michael excitedly.
"A Rags to Riches Story: From Whoreing to Hustler."
"It's this wonderful, touching story about a hooker who goes from turning tricks in an alley to becoming this world famous pornstar."
"You should use that movie as motivation Pam, you could do great things in the industry." suggested Michael.
"Uh, yeah, I'll consider it," she replied in disgust.
"Good, very good to see that you're keeping an open mind."
"So, any messages?" asked Michael.
"None yet," replied Pam.
"Okay, off to my office then," replied Michael as he headed towards the door.
"Oh, one more thing Pam Pom," said Michael turning around to face her.
"If Jan calls tell her I'm out visiting a client," Michael said.
"Will do Michael," said Pam as Michael closed the door to his office.
She's glad it was over with.
Throughout the next several minutes all of the other office members entered the building, exchanging good mornings and how was your weekends as she anxiously waited for him to enter.
He finally walked in, 17 minutes late, which wasn't that unusual for him.
"Hey Jim, how was Austrailia?" asked Pam trying to hide the excitement in her voice.
"Fine," he replied as he shuffled past her awaiting hug, plopping down at his desk without so much as a glance in her direction.
She quietly sat back down in her chair as a wave of emotion overcame her while she stared at Jim.
She thought back to that night.
"I'm in love with you."
"What?"
"I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear but I need you to hear it... Probably not good timing, I know that I just..."
"What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?"
"I just needed you to know. Once."
"Well, I um... I... I can't..."
"Yeah."
"You have no idea..."
"Don't do that."
"...what your friendship means to me."
"Come on. I don't want to do that. I wanna be more than that."
"I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things... It's probably my fault."
"Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted, ah, our friendship."
She remembered the tear he wiped away from his cheek as he walked away.
Before she could even think back to their kiss in the office a few minutes later, she was doing all she could to prevent an ambush of tears exploding from deep inside of her.
She some how managed to maintain her composure as she went back to her game of solitare.
"It's okay," she thought.
"He's still upset, but I'll make things right."
All before lunch she was waiting for him to stroll over to her ask or mess with Dwight.
Instead, he made sales call after sales call, not even giving a second thought to what Dwight was doing with a bottle of bear urine at his desk.
He never even looked in her direction. Not even once.
When lunch rolled around Pam confronted Jim in the break room.
"Hey, can we go out for lunch, I have some things I need to talk to you about."
After a moment of silence, Jim finally replied, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea, I've got some things I need to talk to you about too." he said with no emotion or life in his voice.
After a long and completely silent drive, they finally arrived at Cugino's.
Neither of them ordered anything, they just sat down at a booth near a window.
"So, how was Australia?" asked Pam.
"I didn't go, I spent the week at my parents house."
"I'm transferring to Stamford," he said as he looked her into eyes for the first time that day.
"I didn't get married," she said as his eyes shifted down to her left hand.
No wedding ring, just the same engagement ring she's been wearing the past 3 years.
"Are you still with him?" asked Jim, even though he already knew the answer.
After a moment of searching for the right words, she simply answered,"I am."
His eyes gazed out the window, starting at nothing inparticular.
She remembered looking out of her kitchen window early in the morning, maybe he was doing the same thing.
"Please don't leave Jim, I just need some time to find myself, to find what I really want in life and if you leave I won't be able to do that."
After thinking about for a minute, he softly replied, "Okay."
He wanted to be able to say no, he wanted to have the strength to hate her, he wanted to be able to move on with his life and forget all about her. He tried, but as he looked back into her eyes he just couldn't. He loved her too much, and he hated himself for it. He knew it would eventually result in pain again. Pain he couldn't handle, this time.
"Thank you," she said as she hugged Jim from across the table.
Jim put the bad feelings in the back of his mind and told himself she'd eventually make the right decision.
"I missed you," he said smiling at her for the first time since they played cards on casino night.
"Me too," said Pam as they got up from the table.
"You look great by the way."
Jim hated what he was doing.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim and Pam see each other for the first time since he confessed his feelings toward her on Casino Night. Pam has a hard time explaining her situation to a rather cold Jim. Jim must come to some realizations and make a difficult decision.
Chapter End Notes:
Alright, I hope that was OK. Up next it gets pretty interesting, I'm not going to go into anymore detail then that. Keep the reviews coming!
