Jim groaned as the bright sunlight shone on him and shielded his eyes before blinking them to wake.
"Morning," Helene smiled softly.
He looked over to Pam. "Nothing yet?" he asked.
"No," Helene shook her head. "Do you want some coffee?" she pointed to the coffee carrier.
"Sure," Jim wiped his eyes and got up from the chair. "What time is it?" He asked and groaned as he stretched his arms and back.
"9:30," Helene read the clock on the wall. "Here you go," she handed a cup to him.
"Thank you," Jim nodded and took a sip.
"Did you sleep okay?"
"I slept okay but not well," he shrugged and sat back down on the chair. "One of the nurses checked her vitals during the night and each hour, I would keep waking up to see if she was awake." He looked over and held her hand.
"I know. I'm the same way," Helene sighed. "I kept peeking in several times to see if anything would change. But then I realized that patience is all we need, so she has to take her time. We're all going to be here waiting for her.”
She’s right. Patience is what I need. Jim thought as he looked up to Helene for a moment before looking back to Pam. Suddenly, he heard his stomach give out a growl.
“Hungry?” Helene chuckled.
Jim gave a wry smile and he rubbed his stomach with his other hand, “I didn’t eat after I left.”
“You should go to the cafeteria.” Helene suggested.
“I don’t want to leave her,” Jim gently gripped her hand. “I just got here yesterday,” he said softly.
“But you should really eat something Jim,” Helene put her hand under his chin.
“What if she wakes up?”
“The doctors said that she isn’t going to wake up right away, it might take a while for her to come out of the coma and regain even just some level of consciousness.” Helene looked at her and back to Jim who held his gaze on Pam. “I know you want to stay here and be by her side all the time,” she put her hand onto top of his. “But wouldn’t Pam want you to eat something and feel little bit better?”
Jim looked at Pam for a moment, he knew she was just using Pam as a way to get him out of that chair. Who knew what Pam would want, he sure as hell didn't know. But Helene had a point. His back was hurting, his head even more and his stomach ached with emptiness. “You’re right.” He looked back at Helene. “Thanks Helene,” he said as he pulled her into a hug.
“No problem,” she softly smiled as she pulled back. “That’s what moms are here for.”
Jim gave a brief nod before getting up, “Be right back.” He kissed Pam’s forehead and gently squeezed her hand.
Helene smiled at the gesture and watched him walk out of the room.
“Excuse me,” Jim asked one of the nurses at their station.
“Yes?” The nurse looked up to him.
“Do you know where the cafeteria is?”
“Take the elevator to the second floor, and once you’re down there you’ll see the doors to the corridor that connects to the other part of the hospital. Turn left, and you should be able to see it in front of you.”
“Thanks,” Jim said.
****
When he arrived to the cafeteria, it was filled with visitors, doctors in their white coats and nurses in their colorful scrubs roaming around the spacious room like little ants. As he reached to the cash register, he spotted Mr. Beesly sitting alone with his coffee in his hands, spacing out.
“Sir?” The cashier took Jim out of his reverie.
“Oh sorry,” Jim handed the money to her.
“Here’s your 25 cents back.”
“Thanks,” Jim nodded and took several steps towards the table to where Mr. Beesly was. Jim was hesitant for a second and remembered what Pam told him about her family at work. Her dad was more protective and self-willed. He recalled a conversation with Pam one day, "He's a great man, really, and he loves us all. But sometimes it's hard to know what he's thinking. He holds everything back and at times it looks like he doesn't care at all,” she said.
Jim gulped as he walked more towards him and looked at Pam's father. "Mr. Beesly,” Jim spoke.
“Jim?” He frowned as he looked up to Jim.
“M-may I sit here?” he asked. Mr. Beesly didn’t say anything so Jim sat down on the bench across from him. “How are you doing, sir?”
Mr. Beesly was still in a complete silence and was fiddling with the paper that was wrapped around the foam cup.
"Mr. Beesly,” Jim spoke. "Before you say anything-”
“I know,” Bill looked up to him.
“You know?” Jim frowned in confusion.
“Helene told to me about you last night,” Bill replied.
“Oh?” Jim lifted his eyebrows in surprise.
“She told me about Pam and you,” Bill said and then sighed as he looked down to the table.
“Mr. Beesly, I can explain-” Jim waved in a protest.
“You don’t have to explain,” Bill looked back to him. “I know what happened.”
“You d-do?” Jim stuttered a bit.
“Can we take a walk?” Bill asked.
Jim gulped as he felt his stomach go uneasy and was certain that her father was going to scream or hurt him. He was slightly taller than Jim. He was balding, had Santa's round belly and few day old stubble painted his cheeks.
“Sure,” Jim nodded as he picked up his sandwich.
As they walked out to the courtyard, the air seemed warm and scent of flowers swelled around them.
”You know, I love my daughter more than anything in this world. Like any father would,” Bill looked at Jim.
Jim nodded and swallowed nervously as he shoved his hands in his pocket, “Y-yes sir.”
“I know she isn't perfect, no one is. She can make some really bad decisions. She got engaged to her high school sweetheart, and they were still so young, really,” Bill continued. “I don’t know why I went along with it. I assumed it would be okay because Helene and I got married young too. But when she had broken off her engagement several weeks before the wedding, I was a little mad at her. I thought she was a good match with him and she had spent a lot of money planning for the wedding.” Then he looked down to the ground before looking back at Jim. “Helene told me why she broke it off. And what you had to do with that.”
“I--” Jim was about to speak, but was interrupted by Bill.
“At first, I was skeptical when I saw you at the hospital. Later, Helene told me stories that I didn’t know about of the two of you. I know Pam appreciates you supporting her after all these years and I know now how much she loves you.”
”Mr. Beesly,” he cleared his throat before speaking. “I have loved her for so long,” Jim looked at him. “And I still do,” he stuttered as he remained his gaze with Pam’s father.” I- I just…” He took a pause. “I really want to be here for her when she wakes up, you know? And be on her side.”
“I know you do,” Bill put his hand on Jim’s shoulder. “You’re a good man, Jim.” Bill smiled as he patted Jim’s back.
“Thanks,” Jim nodded.
“Are you ready to go back to the room?” Bill asked.
“Actually, I’m going to back to my car quick to get some a change of clothes,” Jim pointed his thumb behind him.
“Okay,” Mr. Beesly nodded. “So I’ll see you up then?”
“Yeah,” Jim nodded.
As he picked the bag up from his trunk, the iPod fell out onto the floor of the trunk with a thump. He looked down and picked the iPod into his hands. He didn’t remember packing it. He looked over to the building, unsure if it would be the right idea.
But what if the music will wake Pam up? It can’t hurt , he thought as he looked down to the iPod in his hands. With a quick decision, he put it in his bag and shut the trunk before heading back to Pam’s room.
“I’m back,” Jim announced as he put the bag down on the floor next the chair.
“Hey.” Helene said as Bill and her looked up to him.
Jim went to Pam’s bedside, “Anything yet?”
“No,” Bill shook his head.
“Sorry that I keep asking that question over and over again,” Jim gave a wry look and looked down to Pam.
“It’s okay,” Helene reassured. “It’s expected.”
Jim gave a brief nod and looked over to the bathroom that was near the glass doors. “Um, I’m going to get changed.”
Helene nodded and leaned against her husband’s shoulder.
Once Jim had changed his clothes, he walked over to the small faucet to wash his face with the cold water. He looked up at the mirror; he didn't recognize the man who looked back.
****
Pam opened her eyes and was blinded by the fluorescent light above her. She sat up straight and found herself on the gray sofa next to her receptionist desk in the office.
“Hello?” She stood up and looked around the room. It was eerie, quiet and empty with no one in the office. “Michael?” She walked by his office and opened his door. He wasn’t there, talking to Jan. “Let’s see if they’re in the conference room.” Pam muttered as she walked to the room next to his office and opened the door, all the chairs around the table were empty. “Maybe it’s early?”
She took a step back and looked over to the clock, it had numbers but it had no hands. “That’s odd.” She frowned in confusion and as she looked back, her outfit caught her eye in the window reflection. She was wearing a white hospital gown and blue socks instead of wearing cardigan, a skirt and her white sneakers. She was puzzled at the outfit, but then she remembered that she was taken into the ambulance and the EMT talking to her last before she blacked out.
Is this heaven? Am I dying? She thought as she looked and walked around the room.
***
“Jim, this is Doctor Shepard.” Helene pointed to him. “He’s the neurologist.”
“Hello,” Jim shook his hand.
“Jim,” He gave a brief nod. “I just came by to see how Pam is.” He walked over to her and held her other hand. “Pam? Can you squeeze my hand?” He looked down to her and had no response from her. “Okay.” He reached over to the chart that lay on the table next to her.
“Okay what?” Jim asked, sounding irritated.
“According to the Glasgow Scale Chart, this allows us to know what kind of stage she is in.” He held up the chart in his hands. “The scale is from 3 – 15. Three being the lowest, 15 is the highest and most responsive.”
“What’s her number?” Helene asked.
“Her number is three.”
“Can she wake up when the number is low?” Jim looked up to him.
“I'm afraid it's too early to say right now. We'll keep her under close observation and see what happens over the next few days.” The doctor avoided eye contact with them, occupying himself by writing on her chart.
Helene let out soft sob as she hugged Bill and Jim grabbed onto Pam’s hand as he felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I'll be back to check on her later,” he gave a very weak smile that would do a little to reassure them.
******
Pam heard distinct voices surrounding her but couldn’t make out what was being said. “Hello?” She looked above her. “Can anyone hear me?” It continued for a moment and eventually it stopped.
Okay, this is weird and I’m getting out of here, Pam thought and headed towards the door. “Oh no,” Pam fretted as she jiggled the locked doorknob. “Help! Can someone open this door for me?” Pam banged on the door twice before going over to the phone on her desk to see if Darryl could help but when she picked up the phone. The phone line was dead.
“Damn.” She sunk down on her chair and sighed deeply. What am I going to do? I don’t want to stay here alone in this place. She thought as she looked around the empty office.
Then she looked up and spotted Jim’s desk just a few steps away from her desk. She got up and walked to Jim’s desk, it was empty. Just like it was when she came to work the next morning after that night and found out that he had transferred. She brushed her fingers along the empty desk and the phone that was placed by the computer. With her imagination, she vividly could see the dim office and her wearing the periwinkle dress as she stood next to Jim’s desk, making a phone call to her mother. She looked up to see Jim with his head bent down as he made his way to her. The picture suddenly became a blurred.
Pam turned around and leaned her body against the desk as she choked back a sob. Why did I say I can’t? It’s too late now. Pam wrapped her arms around herself and let out a cry. Soon, she started to smell something familiar. It was getting stronger minute by minute. She realized it was the scent of Old Spice that Jim used to wear.
****
Several minutes later after Dr. Shepard had left Helene and Bill went to the chapel to pray. “It might help if we pray a lot to and see if she could prove the doctors wrong.” Helene said, full of conviction.
With her words, Jim wasn’t sure if he would pray. He wasn’t strongly religious like them or his parents. But he figured he would do something besides praying so Jim took the iPod out of his pocket and pushed the white circular button as the small light appeared. He flicked through the album before placing the ear bud next to her ear.
*****
Pam heard a music playing faintly in her ear and the volume grew a bit louder each second.
Baby, you've been going so crazy
Lately, nothing seems to be going right
Solo, why do you have to get so low
You're so...
You've been waiting in the sun too long
But if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring won't mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing…
“I remember,” Pam whispered and smiled softly at the memory. Pam felt something hold onto her hand. It felt big and strong. She could feel someone rubbing her hand with a soft pad of someone’s finger.
It can’t be Mom; her fingers aren’t big or strong. I don’t think it could be Dad or my ex-fiancée, they have rough fingers from working out a lot. Couldn’t it be…
“Pam…” A soft gentle voice was heard.
“Jim?” Pam gasped.
Oh my god, he’s here. He came back.
“Jim!” She yelled as she looked above.
“Let me take this out for you,” She felt his fingers brush along her ear. “I guess it’s not really helping, isn’t it?” Jim said.
“No, no,” She shook her head furiously. “It’s helping. I heard the music.” Pam said loudly. “And I can hear you, Jim.” Then she heard Jim sigh in a distress as he gripped her hand gently.
“Please Pam, I want you fight so you can prove these doctors wrong.” Jim said. “I know you can do it.”
Pam felt his fingers brush gently against her cheeks and above her eyebrows, “I’ve been trying, Jim. I can’t get out of here, I’m locked in.”
“I want to you wake up.”
“I want to wake up too,” Pam’s tears began to roll down her cheeks.
“Please…” Jim whispered. She felt his lips on her hand and then his wet cheek onto her hand. “I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too,” Pam sniffled. “I want to see you again so badly.” She looked above her as she walked towards the sofa. “It’s been so hard not to see you around.”
“I love you,” Jim said.
“I love you too,” Pam croaked as she wiped her tears and felt her chest tighten up as she let out a sob. “I love you so much.” She began to lie down on the sofa and curled up. Within in minutes her body was getting more tired and her chest had been sore due to her crying. She closed her eyes to go back to sleep. Within minutes, she found herself in a strange dark place where she couldn’t see anything. It was almost like someone had permanently locked her in the room without a light bulb.
“Hello?” Pam asked timidly as she sat up and looked around. She could still feel the wetness of her tears on her cheeks and her chest burning every time she took a breath.
“Pam?” She heard Jim speak.
“Jim?” Pam immediately stood up. Suddenly, she was taken by a gush of wind that almost lost her footing and was blinded by a bright white light that appeared in front of her. Pam frowned in confusion as she looked back to the darkness behind her and the light. She wasn’t sure what would happen next if she stayed here or if she walked to the light.
“Please wake up…” Jim’s voice echoed.
As soon as Pam heard Jim’s voice again, she looked over to the light. Maybe it’s coming from there, she thought and decided to walk towards this luminous white light that would surround her. When she looked back, the black and the darkness had disappeared as she walked further.
Suddenly, she felt some strange sensations go through her— tightness in her throat almost if she couldn’t speak, severe pain throbbing in her head, her body feeling hot and cold and weak. As Pam reached towards the end of the tunnel, she could hear loud beeping noises of machines and felt Jim’s hold onto her hand again. She gently squeezed it and heard him whispering her name. He squeezed her hand again, she responded back and slowly Pam opened her eyes to see Jim looking down at her.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks to Deedldee and MilkandSugar for helping me with this chapter!
