*
*
Life is good.
For some of you, I imagine you might have to pick yourself up off of the floor after reading that statement considering our current circumstances, but hear me out… Life for us Halperts has definitely changed, but things could be worse (a lot worse).
Pam is stable, and that alone is reason to live by the slogan up top. Although this up-and-down game we’ve been playing has been extremely stressful, no doubt, but Pam says it’s all good as long as she stays pregnant. Her only frustration is that she might have to deliver before the baby’s ready (But so far, it appears that no matter what happens the doctors will hold out every last possible second before delivering the him).
Our little guy is also doing great. Pam’s getting pretty big and he is moving more now. I felt him moving for the first time yesterday. He appears to be very mellow, this kid. He will hopefully bring a much needed dose of calm amidst the storms that are rolling through our home nowadays. (Pam was a little worried about him, though. Unlike her brother, Cece was very active from the get go. I could easily get her to kick by nudging Pam’s belly in the right places. But this little one has been very complacent. He will usually tuck himself underneath one of her ribs and stay there.)
Ever since we found out we were having a boy, we began our baby name search. The name Cecelia came to us right away, but we still had other names line up. It was only when we saw her that we both went, “Cecelia.” We were going to wait to name him too, but we kept coming back to one…
Benjamin James Halpert.
Is has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
It’s funny because ever since we chose the name we’ve been calling him Big Ben. And yesterday, at our sonogram, the doctor told us he is actually pretty big considering Pam’s condition. He is weighing a whopping two whole pounds and measuring about fifteen inches long. I told Pam this would happen because of a round of steroids she took to help accelerate his brain, lungs, and heart development if he came early.
Of course, I only kid. There’s no real parallel between the steroids and Ben actually being big. But it was very exciting news.
Now…from one Halpert kid to another...
Cece got a bit of the jealous bug that goes around firstborns this past week. We have been very diligent about including her in everything we do; readying the baby's room, shopping for the baby, and we even explained the reason for the bassinet in our bedroom. So we naively thought, “Done deal, jealousy averted!”
Oh, but wait – that’s not the way it works, is it? No, it isn’t.
We were on the couch watching TV while Cece played around us. I’ve been telling her to be extra careful with mom because the baby was growing in her belly and she’s been pretty good about that, even going beyond her calling to be momma’s best helper. But this day, she threw all caution to the wind.
She was climbing on me and putting clippy things on my hair while running around like her usual crazy self. Pam was next to me, her feet resting on the coffee table, when Cece very excitedly said, “Momma, I make you preeeetty, kay?” and leaped from my lap to Pam’s.
Yeah… time stopped for a few seconds.
“Cece!” I yelled (I shouldn’t have, but my brain short-circuited). “You cannot jump on mom like that,” I said lifting her off of Pam. “You are going to hurt the baby.”
Her big expressive eyes filled with tears and the biggest pout I’ve even seen on this girl’s face appeared. I began walking her to the kitchen to sit her down on time-out when she cried, “The baby has momma alllllll the time. She’s mmmmyyyyyyy momma fwiiiiist!”
I stopped amid my tracks - paralyzed under the living room’s threshold. What had she just said?
I just stood there holding my grief-stricken daughter, who was now full-on sobbing on my shoulder. I had definitely just tripped on my own heartstrings. I ran my hand up and down her back willing for her to calm a bit, saying, “Hey, Cee…Cece? Can you look at daddy?”
But she burrowed her face deeper on my shirt and just sobbed.
“C’mere,” Pam called from the couch, extending her arms to Cece.
I walked to Pam and carefully placed Cece on her lap. Pam wiped the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks with one hand while running the other through her hair.
“Cece, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? Can you do that?”
Cece nodded wiping her eyes and running nose.
“Daddy and I love you very much. You know that, right?”
Cece nodded again.
“I know we’ve been talking a lot about the baby. But Cece, you’ll always be our very first baby.” Pam smiled and tickled her belly - a small grin peaked through her sad face. “But see,” Pam continued. “The baby is really small in my belly and we have to be very, very careful, okay?”
“But momma [hiccup], I don’t hurrr [hiccup] the baby.”
“I know you didn’t, but sometimes—”
“I aaammm soooorrryyyy, mommmmmaaaaaa,” Cece broke. “I doooon’t huuurrrrr the baaaabyyy agaaaain!”
“I know, I know...” Pam said, kissing her, “You didn’t hurt the baby.”
We both got teary eyed. I knew this whole thing was stressful on us, but we thought we had protected Cece from it all. But I guess no one is immune to it.
“I think we need a nap,” Pam mouthed to me.
And we needed indeed.
But everything has been good since then. Cece will says little things like, “I wanna one [the mobile on the crib] on my bed too, daddy,” or “Can we move my bed hea [next to our bed] when the baby comes too, daddy?”
We’re just glad she hasn’t told us to give the baby away when it gets here. Perhaps if she asks us when we’re sleep deprived and swimming in dirty diapers we might consider.
But my ranting ends here.
It’s about three o’clock in the morning and I’ve typed this with one hand while holding Cece with the other. She woke up and went to our bed, but I took her downstairs with a promise of hot cocoa. Pam needs all the sleep she can get and wouldn’t likely remain asleep with Cece curling up next to her.
Obviously there are a lot of things that we can worry about with Pam’s immediate health and the striking fear of premature labor ticking and tocking between our ears, but we selected a fair share among the choices we were offered. And the outlook right now it good. So I’ll keep with the ‘Life is Good’ slogan for now.
‘Till next time,
Jim
Chapter End Notes:
More to come...
