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By Your Side
Chapter 4
“What? Why not,” he asked, startling both of them with his question.
He watched her shrug and shake her head, her light laughter emanating through his speakers. Her shoulders fell a little and she reached for something outside of the camera’s viewing area, her head popping back in the frame a moment later.
“Um, so, anyway,” she said, her eyes fixed downward. “I have a few sketches that I started for this art show we’re having.”
“Oh, when is it?”
“Um, some time in the early Spring.”
“Can I see what you’ve done so far?”
Her eyes widened and her cheeks grew pinker. “It’s not really done yet.”
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he laughed, taking a napkin and a pen in his hand.
“You …” she trailed, a smile forming across her lips.
“Look,” he held up the napkin. “It’s a pumpkin.”
She let out a laugh at his attempt to draw an even circle and triangle eyes. “Very realistic.”
“Why thank you,” he grinned. “Now, let me see?”
She bit her lip and opened her sketch pad, leafing slowly through pages one at a time. “I um, I’m not … I mean, I love them but, I might stick with the others. They just seem safer.”
He let out a quick breath through his nose as he watched her display a sketch of two children facing one another and a puppy in the middle. “Why wouldn’t you want to display that? I think it’s great,” he spoke slowly, his voice tinged with awe.
“You know, it’s just. If someone doesn’t like the one’s I’m working on to display, I mean, it’ll hurt, but whatever. But if someone didn’t like this one, I’d kind of … I don’t know. It just means something to me. More than the others do.”
“What were you going to do with this then?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking of adding a baseball cap to the boys head and maybe the girl can have some freckles.”
“Oh, no I meant why wouldn’t you want someone to see that?”
She shrugged. “I guess … because I’m just not ready for someone to knit pick on it. I’ve only ever done objects, not real people. It’s been a rough couple of months. And I know, maybe by then I’ll be better. But I don’t think I could really handle another kick to the gut.”
He took a moment and watched her as she looked over the sketch. He knew he could be dense. His mother had told him on more than one occasion that he was in fact clueless sometimes. But in that moment, as he tried to figure out what code she was speaking in, he couldn’t understand what kick to the gut she had gone through. She was the one that turned him down – his mantra for the last five months.
He cleared his throat and widened his eyes. “I really like it. It has potential.”
“Thanks,” she smiled at him as she closed the sketch pad.
“So, what else have I missed,” he asked.
“Um, well. Phyllis is engaged to Bob Vance.”
“Hah,” he let out. “I wonder if she’ll start saying, ‘Phyllis Vance, Dunder Mifflin’.”
“You never know,” she grinned and shrugged her shoulders. “Um, what else… Oh! I probably shouldn’t tell you this. But Dwight and Angela are dating. But you can’t say anything.”
His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. “How can you tell me that and expect me to not say anything?”
“You have to promise,” her voice rose an octave as she grinned. She closed her mouth and tilted her head. “Swear on something.”
He rolled his eyes playfully. “What can I swear on? This is huge news. Oh… wait. Oh my God I … she was in Dwight’s room at the convention,” he said with an air of disbelief. The thought lingered and he suddenly felt nauseated. “Oh - oh my God, I almost walked in on Angela and Dwight.”
“What?”
He shook his head quickly, attempting to wipe away the distasteful image. “I got a copy of Dwight’s room key.”
“Obviously.”
“And when I opened the door, there was a woman on his bed,” he clicked his tongue. “I thought it was a hooker.”
“Oh my God, you look like you’re about to be sick,” she joked.
“Yeah,” he said seriously. “Wow. How do you figure that happened?”
“The less I know the happier I am.”
“Oh, I agree with you there,” he let out a disbelieving breath. “Wow.”
“Crazy, right?”
“A little bit,” he mused.
“Anyway, I should probably get some things done, I have class tomorrow night. Maybe we can talk again sometime this week?”
“Yeah,” he said quickly, adding, “It’s been really great catching up.”
“Yeah, it really has been,” she smiled softly. “Sorry we lost touch for so long. It’s … I didn’t know, you know?”
“I do,” he nodded. “Have a good night. I should be on instant message tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she grinned. “I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Sounds good. Take care of yourself, Beesly.”
“You too,” she said, her grin sliding a bit. “Good night.”
Her image froze on the screen as the chat disconnected. He leaned back on his sofa, slung his arm on the headrest next to him, keeping his eyes trained on her face. Even with the smile she wore, he still saw a hint of sadness. As he watched it fade away slowly blip by blip, he couldn’t help but wonder how badly damaged their friendship was. With more effort than he realized he needed, he stood from the couch, closed his laptop and moved toward his kitchen, lifting a beer out of the refrigerator. He sighed as he sat back in the same spot, wondering why his first instinct was that he needed to repair what was broken between them, whether or not it would lead anywhere. He couldn’t let the hope back in. That part of his life had to move on, he reminded himself. They could be long distant friends. One thing had nothing to do with the other he rationalized as he mindlessly turned the television on and began searching for something to watch. He tried to keep any other thoughts of something more between them at bay.
The moment that he laid his head on his pillow, however, all he could think of was the simplest thing, sitting in a quiet movie theater with his arm around her shoulder.
*
If Pam had to rate her mornings on a scale from one through ten, the morning after their web chat would have been a negative ninety. She tripped over her own shoe the second she set foot out of bed, stubbing her toe on the leg of her dresser as she tried to steady herself. While she showered, she found herself without conditioner, wondering how she could have run out of that before the shampoo bottle emptied. The second she walked into the office, she remembered she left all of her art work on her sofa, guaranteeing she would be late to her class already, and it was not yet close to nine in the morning.
The instant she pressed the power button on the computer tower, the CPU started beeping, she groaned and let out a frustrated sigh. She left a message with the IT department and set out to brew a pot of coffee, rubbing her fingers over her temples as she waited for it to finish. The instant it was finished, she lifted the pot at the exact second Kelly bounded into the kitchen, reminding Pam about the Diwali in the over enthusiastic way that Kelly did every thing. The start inside of Pam caused her to jerk the hand she had been holding the coffee pot in, spilling some hot coffee onto the counter.
“Pam, you like need to be more careful,” Kelly pointed to the counter before turning around and walking through the door toward the annex.
“Thanks for the tip,” Pam muttered under her breath as she mopped up the spill and poured herself a cup. She let out a sigh. “Just one of those days.”
Michael had his bi-weekly crisis with Jan, calling Pam into his office to discuss ways to improve productivity in the office. Most days, she knew hot to handle Michael, but that morning in particular, her nerves were down to the bare minimum. It seemed he sensed it, or caught something in her tone, keeping her in his office behind closed doors for close to an hour, over-sharing details about his personal life.
She struck from her memory each syllable Michael uttered the second he spoke them. All she could think about as she sat and listened to him droll on was that she hadn’t gotten a chance to tell Jim that her computer was down and she couldn’t log into instant message.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a delivery person standing next to the reception desk being acknowledged by no one. She pointed toward the woman and stood, excusing herself quickly despite Michael’s protests that he hadn’t finished.
“Sorry,” she smiled to the woman, pointing toward Michael’s door.
“Happens all the time. Package for Pam Beesly.”
Pam paused for a second and shook her head in surprise as she quietly signed for the package. She ignored Dwight’s comments about how she shouldn’t be receiving personal items on office property, thanked the delivery person and sat herself behind her desk, avoiding the inquisitive eyes of her coworkers.
She tried not to gasp at the mere sight of Jim’s handwritten Post-It notes atop each item in the box.
One read: For all of your art work that should be displayed.
The other read: So you don’t have to eat boxed food anymore. Use that stove, Beesly.
She loved so much about both of the items her eyes washed over. But what she loved most was that he didn’t write his name. She loved that he assumed she’d just know it were from him. An emotional tidal wave burst through her like never before, and she wondered for a moment where all of it had come from as she took hold of her cell phone and scurried quietly out of the office, walking half way down the stairwell before she sat. The tears that stung her eyes seeped from her lids and swiped them away as she dialed his cell phone.
“Hey,” he answered quickly. “I was looking for you online.”
“You sent me a cookbook and Command Strips.”
“You don’t have to get so emotional about it, Pam,” he joked. “It was supposed to be funny.”
“It is. It’s… I’m having the most horrible morning and … it’s…the one good thing, today. I… Thank you. It … you didn’t have to.”
“Okay, easy. What happened?”
“Just,” she took a breath. “Everything. I tripped over a shoe before I even got out of my bedroom. That should’ve been my first clue as to how this morning was going to go. My computer here is broken or whatever, it won’t go on. I was going to call you before and let you know, but Michael dragged me into a meeting. And, I spilled coffee on the counter and some of it got on my skirt. I just… I need a hug. And maybe a drink.”
“I did not know you could talk that fast,” he quipped. “Fast talker, fast typist. You should go for some kind of Triple Crown thing. What else can we come up with?”
She laughed, drying her slightly moist cheeks. “I’m a fast driver.”
“Now that’s not safe,” he chided lightly.
“Like you’ve never gone above the speed limit.”
“Never. I’m a safe driver.”
“Yeah, okay, grandma,” she laughed. “Didn’t you get a speeding ticket like a month before you left?”
“Uh, no. That wasn’t me.”
“Okay, if you say so,” she said playfully. “Anyway, how’s your day so far?”
“Pretty good. I’m in the middle of that order form consolidation thing.”
“Oh, I thought you were doing overtime for that.”
“Yeah, I figured I’d get a head start on it. So, did you decide if you were going to Kelly’s thing?”
“I think I’ll go just so I don’t have to listen to her complain that I didn’t go.”
“Seems easier,” he agreed.
“All right, I’ll let you go. I should see if IT is coming to fix my computer.”
“At least you won’t have to work,” he joked.
“True. Hey, um thanks for that stuff. It really means a lot. It’s like the hug I need today.”
“Anytime, Pam. Use them in good health. Hope your day gets better.”
“Thanks, Jim. I can’t thank you enough. Talk to you soon.”
“You bet.”
“I wish you were still here,” she sighed out as she moved her cell phone away from her ear.
The time blinked as the call ended and she flipped it closed, letting out a slow breath as she stood against the wall.
The remainder of her afternoon went by in less dramatic fashion. She decided to use her lunch break to go back to her apartment and get her artwork while IT fixed her computer. She made class on time, and her professor was impressed with the sketch of the children she had shown him on the side, suggesting that she keep working on the depth of it. He encouraged her to put more heart into it, and for the first time in a while, she was in the spirit to accomplish it.
The next morning was malady free – mostly. Until the point in the day where Kelly felt it necessary to dote over what Ryan wore. For some reason the unease of going to alone to the party crept back in. Jim had been no where in sight on instant message through the day, and by the time she went home to change, she all but dragged herself to her closet to pick out jeans and a sweater.
When she arrived, the party was underway, and as she looked around, watching everyone dressed up far more than she, the knot in her stomach turned a bit more as she got her hand stamped for official entry.
She felt her cell phone buzz a few moments after she walked in, and quickly found a quiet corner to look at her phone in private, her smile instant as she saw his name appear.
It’s a really nice night outside. Shame you’re stuck in that stuffy room. Maybe you should go get some air.
She strode toward the door, hoping she was being as nonchalant as possible, walking straight through the main door with a smile on her face.
“What are you doing here,” she laughed as she walked quickly down the steps.
“I know I’m a day late. But, you said you needed a hug.”
Tears stung her eyes again as she moved toward him, sinking into him as his arms wrapped around her.
.
Chapter End Notes:
Go read Dedeen's story, it's amazing! Also, I beg, if you have an idea for a story, any story, write it, post it, update it. This place has been too quiet lately!
Anyhoos, hope you liked this. More on the way soon :)
Anyhoos, hope you liked this. More on the way soon :)
