Jim may have found his way back to himself, but he is at total loss on how to make Old Jim fit into his current life. There’s not doubt Jim is happy with Pam, but his internal flaws of insecurity, low confidence, and the infamous fear paradox continue to dominate his behavior patterns. Jim’s insecurity is rooted mostly in himself as he tries to navigate his way through his relationship with Pam and his life in general. He is finding that Pam doesn’t need him the same way she did in previous seasons. Jim is struggling to find just where he fits in with her newfound independence. Furthermore, he finds himself in the same rut of hating his job with no goals or direction for his future. Pam was always his distraction and reason for waking up in the morning. His hope of being with her is what kept him going.

Now that he is with her, the game has changed. He’s still at the job he hates, while Pam is beginning to strive for something more. He can’t put his finger on it, but he can feel the shift. He may have come home, but home has changed. He’s at a loss on how to deal with change, while also trying to rebuild everything that was great between himself and Pam. The past finally became something Jim no longer fears, but the reality has hit him that the past is gone. There’s no doubt that Jim is proud of Pam and happy for her, but part of him longs to be needed as he was previously.

Jim also continues to fight his old enemy of low confidence. He’s not sure about where he is going, with the exception of his relationship with Pam. He knows with certainty that he is happy with her. However, the rest of his life is one big mystery. Part of him knows he is capable of more than selling paper, but he lacks to confidence to pursue and entertain the notion of trying something different. As Pam prods him to share the reasoning behind his avatar on Second Life Jim shuts down and refuses to let her see a part of himself that has aspirations beyond Dunder Mifflin. He doesn’t believe in himself enough to share possible life directions with Pam.

The combination of insecurity and low confidence fuels the fire of Jim’s longstanding fear paradox. The fear paradox has evolved and changed over time, but the central component of fear dominating his behavior remains in place. Jim’s fear of losing Pam has intensified due to rising insecurities about where he fits in her life. He knows they are happy, but he can’t help but notice the incongruence between them. Pam has moved on and changed into the person he always knew she could be, while he is moving back towards to the person he always should have been.

Things will likely balance out in the end, but Jim is stuck in the precarious position of waiting out the transition. This transition is crucial as both Jim and Pam reevaluate the needs of the other and adjust the relationship accordingly. Hampering this effort, is a communication gap. Pam isn’t able to read Jim’s insecurities and he is doing his best to hide them. His impromptu kiss in the last episode gave the impression that he is “all in.” In all fairness Jim felt that way until the weight of it all sunk in. He feels the weight of carrying part of the lead in the relationship and it’s a little overwhelming. Pam’s somewhat aloof behavior towards him leaves him not only questioning himself, but also the relationship in the back of his mind. He can’t help but wonder if he’s good enough for Pam.

Question his worth essentially wraps up all of Jim’s fears, confidence issues and insecurities into one package. In an ironic development, Jim is beginning to exhibit similar insecurities that characterized Pam in Season 2.

Conference Room:

Jim is bored out of his mind as Michael tries to fire up the crew to come up with ideas for a new ad campaign for Dunder Mifflin. He sits with his hands resting in his lap as he stares off into space. Andy comes to his rescue by breaking out into song, “Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that…” The Kit Kat jingle echoes through the conference, but comes to an immediate halt as Andy’s memory fails him, “I am totally blanking. What is the thing?” Jim’s humor kicks in, as usual, to distract him from the utter boredom surrounding him. It’s a proven tactic for him that he’s employed for years. It makes his job and many times his life in general bearable. He immediately hollers, “Nobody tell him!” He can’t help but entertain himself with Andy’s memory gap. He continues to encourage product guesses ranging from applesauce to football cream thoroughly enjoying Andy’s frustration. He views his little prank as harmless and a simple way to entertain himself during an insipid meeting.

Later in the meeting, Michael asks if anyone has anything else to contribute for the ad. Pam speaks up and offers up her abilities in creating a logo using computer animation. He nods as she explains her participation in a computer animation class. He couldn’t be more proud of Pam for taking an active role in pursuing her artistic ambitions. He further acknowledges her abilities with a knowing expression in regards to her talent. Jim knows she is a talented artist and is happy to see her offer her skills with confidence. Pam has become everything he knew she could be and he is genuinely proud of her.

Talking Head #1:

Jim is apparently asked by the camera crew what he thinks about a Dunder Mifflin commercial. He starts his answer by sounding positive, “I think it's great that the company's making a commercial because not very many people have heard of us.” However, his usual disdain for his job doesn’t take long to surface under the guise of Jim’s trademark sarcasm, “I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers, or muffins, or mittens, or... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.” The work ethic Jim hid behind in Season 3 has obviously been thrown out the window as he reverts to his previous attitude of loathing his job. A general sense of hopelessness begins to make itself known as Jim pokes fun at his lot in life. Almost anything sounds better than being a paper salesmen, even the notion of selling mittens. He is bored to tears with his job and there is no escape in sight. 

The same tone appears in previous talking heads from Health Care (in which he states he’d have to throw himself in front of a train if this were his career), The Client, (“And I could work here for years. And years. Years.”), and even in Cocktails as Jim rattles off his reasons for not wanting to attend a party at the CFO’s house. In all of these instances Jim couldn’t escape the rut of being a paper salesman. That same feeling is again permeating his thoughts, despite living his dream of being with Pam. While one aspect of his life is seemingly in place, the rest is the same boring reality.

In actuality, Jim has no goals or direction for his life beyond Pam. He’s putting all his eggs in one basket, which is a dangerous move. Jim needs to find something that makes him happy besides Pam or he will weigh her down with his overwhelming needs. Jim may want to find a way out of his rut, but he lacks the confidence and direction to find his way out of the maze. Until he can, he relies on humor to make this part of his life a little more tolerable.

At Pam’s Desk:

After watching Dwight play Second Life and even tracking him within the game, Jim is again effected by Dwight’s pain playing out in front of him. After watching Dwight walk away from Andy with slumped shoulders and obviously in further pain, Jim gets up from his desk and heads over to Pam. He greets her with his usual “Hey,” but she immediately brushes him off by telling him, “No talk, I’m animating.” She is totally immersed in her project and doesn’t even look up at him. Jim is not used to Pam refusing to drop what she’s doing to him her full attention. Instead of listening to her, he leans right in front of her and takes control of her computer. It’s his first inclination in this episode that things are not as they were in the past. 

Subconsciously, Jim is intent on inserting himself into her world, despite her reluctance to embrace his presence. Despite Jim’s support for Pam’s art, he still needs her to give him attention. After a few episodes of exploring the positive side of the past it’s a little jarring for Jim to experience Pam refusing a desk visit from him. He remembers a time when she always welcomed him leaning over the counter. Pam is clearly annoyed as Jim switches Pam’s screen from her animation to Second Life while explaining, “Why don't we take a quick ten second break from that so I can show you what's going on here. Okay, this is Dwight's Second Life. He's on it all the time. So much so that his little guy here has created his own world. It's called Second Second Life, for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.” Jim is still very empathetic to Dwight’s broken heart and knows Pam shares his soft spot for poor guy. It doesn't take long for her to join him in the bubble as they share concern for Dwight. They can’t help but feel for Dwight as both of them have experienced enough hurt for a lifetime.

The symbolism of Dwight’s Second Second Life is really apparent given Jim’s behavior in Season 3. Jim essentially tried to create a second life for himself by starting over in a new city and a new state following the devastating events of Casino Night. And now he is back in Scranton for a Second Second Life in that he’s trying to give his past life another shot. However, he is learning quickly that the past is gone and he is in a reality where both he and Pam are different people with emotions that have stretched over the span of at least five years. In a sense, Jim is having to create another life for himself that is not rooted in the past, but rather building towards a future. Unfortunately, Jim has no idea how to reconcile the past and the present. He wants the same connection and the same dynamic he previously shared with Pam, but obviously that can never be recaptured. There is no Roy and there are no barriers. This emotionally open relationship is still very new and Jim is still adjusting. This creates a sense of being a little lost as Jim has come home, only to find things can never be as they were before. 

As a result, he’s totally lost, unable to find the home he came back for. Part of him longs for the good old days as clearly exhibited in Launch Party, (the roof), but he is also recognizing those days are gone. He and Pam are more than friends and he doesn’t have to pine for her any longer. It all seems so simple, but Jim is finding it difficult to fit into his own life. He’s never been good at accepting change, (which helps to explain his ability to stay in a job he hates) and his new reality is no different. It’s hard for him to accept that they can never really go back. His participation in the game is very symbolic of the fact that Jim must change how he views himself and his life in general. He doesn’t necessarily have to drastically change as he did in Season 3, but he does need to clean the windows for a clearer view of what he wants and where he wants to go.

The concept of the bubble and Jim’s role in maintaining the bubble now makes all the more sense. The bubble is another aspect of Jim’s Second Second Life. It started as an alternate reality where the changes around him could be avoided long enough for him to bask in the euphoria of a new relationship with Pam and rebuild their connection. Now the trick becomes extending these concepts out of the bubble into his actual life with her. He ultimately must make the euphoria translate into happiness for all areas of his life, not just Pam. The last step of the bubble process is pulling off the training wheels to step into reality without a safety net. He’s been struggling with this since DMI and it appears to be growing as a problem.

Pam’s annoyance soon fades to match Jim’s sympathetic tone in regards to Dwight, “Are you serious?” Jim responds with concern, “Yeah.” Pam’s compassion begins to spill out of her as she observes, “Oh my God, he’s really in pain.” Jim breathes deeply as his empathy again takes over. Just as in Money, Jim sees a little bit of himself in Dwight. Before Jim can stop her Pam notices his avatar in the virtual reality of the game, “Who’s that?” Jim was not expecting Pam to see his little creation. He tries to avert her interest with a dismissive response, “Oh, it's just my avatar guy. Whatever.” His voice has undertones of embarrassment as Pam looks intently at his avatar. She giggles as she says, “He looks a lot like you.” Deep down Jim knows he’s not that guy, but it could be him if he really tried to strive for something else. He doesn’t look at her as he chuckles nervously. He shrugs, hoping she won’t make a big deal out of it, but it’s too late. Pam’s curiosity is already peaked. He is noticeably uncomfortable, while she continues to prod him about this incarnate of himself, “How much time did you spend on that?” His eyes remain on the computer screen except for a brief moment of eye contact with Pam meant solely to sell his answer, “Not much, it's just for tracking Dwight so . . .” Jim desperately wants the topic to end, but Pam doesn’t relent, “. . . you're a sports writer in Philadelphia?” He’s incredibly embarrassed she saw his imagined profession.

There’s no way of knowing if this is a secret ambition of Jim, but it is important to note that Jim is expressing interest in something other than selling paper for a living. However, a sports writer could be a viable profession for Jim. In both The Negotiation and The Job there is mention of Jim being a football fan and a basketball fan respectively. Furthermore, it’s known he participates in fantasy football (Initiation). Unfortunately, Jim becomes very self-conscious at Pam’s mention of his Second Life profession. He has no confidence in achieving anything beyond selling paper. He's actually good at selling reams of paper, but he has no idea if he'd be good at something else. His behavior in this segment of the scene strongly mirrors Pam’s lack of confidence in her artistic abilities prior to Season 3. She needed Jim to encourage her and provide support. 

It appears the roles have reversed and Jim now needs Pam to give him assurances that he is capable of more. Pam only increases Jim’s level of self consciousness by adding, “Nice build.” Jim has previously exhibited he is a little sensitive when it comes to his physical appearance in The Job. His new haircut received comments from Meredith that truly disturbed him. He doesn’t like his physical appearance to be the center of attention. He looks nervously into the camera out of embarrassment for himself, but he also feels Pam’s comments about his body real or imagined should be kept just between them. He uncomfortably mumbles, “Yep,” still praying this conversation will end soon. Pam, however, remains intrigued, “You have a guitar slung on your back. I did not know you played guitar.” It’s at this moment, Jim’s lack of confidence begins to flood his face. He’s not comfortable with letting Pam see this side of himself. His avatar is showing interests he’s never really shared with Pam and it’s a little scary to open up to her. Jim has always had trouble opening up when it comes to his emotions so it stands to reason this mode of behavior translates to other areas of his life. His inability to share this side of himself directly relates to his lack of confidence in having dreams.

In Casino Night he sarcastically makes the comment, “Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they're all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams.” Jim continues to lack confidence in even allowing himself to have a dream. He doesn’t believe in himself. As a result, he isn’t letting Pam in all the way. His groundbreaking actions of blasting through his emotional barriers in Money have met their match. Jim has taken a small step back due to his own insecurities within himself. He may be a little more liberal expressing his emotions, but he is shutting off a new part of himself by refusing to let Pam explore this aspect of his persona. This also boils down to a question of trust. Jim’s previous fears of completely trusting Pam are spilling over to more than just issues of the heart. He doesn’t trust her enough to expose his vulnerabilities. As Pam continues to marvel at “Philly Jim” he stares at the screen as if he’s staring right into his soul.

Part of him can’t help but question just who he really is as well as his self worth. It’s the same question he asked himself throughout Season 3, only this time he doesn’t have a façade or strong defense mechanisms blocking him from the answer. For the first time in a while, Jim is looking at himself with deep scrutiny. He doesn’t see an answer quite yet as insecurity and low confidence block his vision, but he is looking at himself a little closer. He needs to do this in order to find just where he belongs in his own life. After a year of soul searching and a triumphant return home, Jim is now charged with the task of finding what makes him happy beyond Pam. However, Jim isn’t ready to talk about any of this with Pam. He isn’t ready for her to know this part of him. For that matter, he isn’t ready to know this part of himself. 

He is desperate to change the subject as he reaches over to Pam’s mouse to close out the game and return to her animation, “I... why don't we go back to this animation.” Pam playfully protests, “No, no, no, I want to see more of Philly Jim,” but Jim is unaffected. He quietly tries to interrupt, “No . .. . show me how this . . .” as he nervously fidgets with his tie. His voice is distant and even slightly annoyed at Pam’s prodding. His insecurities and personal confusion are overwhelming. There’s no way he’s going to let Pam see so much weakness. He doesn’t even like seeing it himself. Pam continues to tease, “I want Philly Jim.” Jim is more than aware that Pam is just teasing, but he feels the scrutiny of her pleas and is desperate to wiggle out of her curiosity. He’s made little eye contact with her, instead keeping his attention focused on the computer screen or just over her head.

He tries again to direct her attention to her animation, “Ah, show me how this works.” His tone is playful, but also very serious. He’s letting her know the subject is closed for him and luckily Pam catches the hint and yields. He shoves his hands in his pockets looking for any mode of comfort, hoping Pam’s explanation of her artwork will settle him back into the monotony of his life where he supports Pam without having to think about his own shortcomings. It’s easier to take care of her than it is to take care of himself.

End of the Day/Talking Head #2:

At the end of the day, Jim approaches Pam’s desk with his jacket on and his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He’s ready to leave work and head home with Pam by his side. It’s all he’s ever wanted and after today, he wants his fantasy turned reality more than anything. Pam is still diligently working on her animated logo for the commercial. Even though he fully supports Pam’s efforts, he is desperate to bring her back into his world, “I hope you're not killing yourself on this, because I'm sure it's good enough for Michael's ad that will probably be seen by no one.” He’s trying his best to convince her to come home with him, both in the sense of literally coming home as well as in the figurative sense of simply being with him and their relationship. He wants her to rejoin him in the bubble. Pam surprises him by firmly replying, “Maybe, but it's not good enough for me yet.” 

As proud as Jim is to see Pam so strong, FNB is still a little jarring to him at times. He didn’t expect her to be this dedicated to her project. He realizes Pam isn‘t going to budge, so he simply responds, “Okay, Do you want me to stay?” Jim’s insecurities again make themselves known as Jim clearly feels pushed aside and left out of Pam’s life. He lost on what to do, which is why he literally asks if he should stay. In a very literal sense he feels out of place and isn’t sure of his next move. His newly formed fears of losing her begin to bubble up to the surface, (see Money). She doesn’t need him as she did before and he feels the void. Pam tells him, “No, no, you can go home. I’m good.” He’s trying to go “home,” but he needs her to join him. If this trend continues, Jim’s may become more and more needy for Pam’s attention.

Outside in the parking lot Jim stands alone and engages in an impromptu talking head. His gaze is a little distant and lost as he begins to speak, “Pam is staying late tonight to uh, achieve her dreams. So I'm pretty proud of her.” He is genuinely proud of her, but part of him feels somewhat abandoned. He has no role in her current ambitions as she is providing her own encouragement. Jim goes on to state, “Unfortunately, she was my ride home.” No only is he confused about his role in Pam’s life, but she also left him without a way to get home.

This statement also carries a bit of symbolism in that Jim is becoming increasingly reliant on Pam to take the lead. She is the one who pulled him from the life he no longer wants (a life without her) and now he is reliant on her to create the life in which he always dreamed, (home). Even though he found a way to crash through his emotional barriers in Money, he is still along for the ride. If anything, he is more vulnerable and fragile in an emotional sense that he’s ever been before. His need for Pam’s reassurances has only grown. Coupled with his uncertainty on just what Pam needs from him, Jim is a little lost. Meredith hollers, “You comin’,” from across the parking lot as Jim give a bewildered look into the camera. Riding home with Meredith is not a hot item on his agenda. Jim can do nothing more but give a non-answer, “I, uh . . .” He knows he has no other way home, but he’s not crazy about getting into Meredith’s van.

Meredith’s patience is thin as she yells, “Piss or get off the pot!” Jim’s expression wields even more uncertainty and bewilderment. Jim doesn’t realize it, but Meredith’s words are little pearls of wisdom. It’s a wake up call that Jim is refusing to hear at the moment. Just as in Money, Jim needs to get of his butt and make a decision about his life. He has a choice to accept his life as it is or set a goal for something different. Essentially, Jim finds himself in the position of being back in a rut while Pam is breaking free by going after her dreams. Jim’s only dream of being with Pam has finally come true, but now he has to decide if that is enough for him. Selling paper may just be his calling in life, but he needs to make the choice to be happy with his career or get off the pot. Unfortunately, Jim is ill equipped to make this decision on his own. His previously established behavior pattern dictates he will need a catalyst to ignite a decision. 

Whether this push comes from Pam or elsewhere doesn’t negate the fact that Jim will internalize everything until something forces it out in the open, much like the events in The Job and Casino Night.

Breakfast:

Jim may have been at a loss on how to relate to Pam, but he quickly rebounds by bringing her breakfast the next morning. She is passed out at her desk and Jim can’t help but revert to his habitual mode of taking care of Pam. It’s all part of his need to be needed. After feeling left out and pushed aside the previous day, Jim needs to take care of Pam in order to feel worthy and accepted. Validation and acceptance have long been requirements to heighten Jim’s self-confidence. Pam has show him she no longer needs him as she did in previous seasons and now he feels compelled to show her she still needs him in some capacity. He’s almost trying to validate his role in her life. Subconsciously, his actions play into his fears of losing Pam. He’s attempting to get her attention by reminding her he is there for her. However, there is much more primal reason for Jim’s sweet gesture. He loves her and can’t help but find ways to show her.

Poor Richard’s:

With Pam by his side, Jim sits in Poor Richard’s and watches the commercial approved by corporate. It’s not Michael’s creative vision, but rather a glossy ad from the advertising agency. He smiles along with everyone else when the whole crew appears on the television screen waving. There is a certain amount of excitement at prospect of seeing everyone on television, but there is a little bit of pride involved with being part of something. Even if Jim hates his job, he is still part of Dunder Mifflin. He genuinely cares about the people he works with, even if they are sometimes annoying and odd. His co-workers might be his saving grace. 

There’s no doubt his job sucks the life out of him, but the people around him give it right back to him. It’s this attitude that prevails as a good-natured Jim asks the bar to put in DVD of Michael’s commercial for Dunder Mifflin. He stands up in front of everyone and announces, “Hey everybody! Just want to welcome you all to the premiere of the real Dunder Mifflin commercial, the Michael Scott director's cut. Hope you like it.” As usual, Jim is busy taking care of Michael, which is increasingly becoming a stronger role. It's almost as if Jim takes care of everyone else, (Pam, Michael, and Dwight) but himself as a way to avoid taking care of himself. It's a long established trait that Jim puts the welfare and happiness of others above himself, which is sometimes to his detriment.

At one point in the commercial, Jim is handed a piece of paper that states “Turn your life around.” In another striking turn at symbolism Jim is again being told to “Piss or get off the pot.” Unfortunately, the catalyst that will trigger him to do something is still somewhere in the distance. Once Pam’s animation fills the screen Jim’s face lights up with amazement and pride. He looks over to her and offers a nonverbal cue to let her know he is proud of her accomplishment. He applauds the commercial, but his clapping hands are meant solely for her. He reaches over a rubs her back to show his support and continuing pride. 

Jim always knew she had it in her, and he is overjoyed to see Pam go after her dreams. Jim opts to advertise Pam’s role in the commercial by telling the waiter, “Animation? All her by the way,” as he points in Pam’s direction. He wants to tell the world and show her just how proud he is of her for creating something so amazing. Two years ago, Pam wouldn’t have had the guts to even try. Jim knows this and wants to give Pam as much encouragement as possible to keep pursuing her interests. He’s never seen her so happy and he wants to keep it that way. 

The waiter readily agrees and tells Pam, “The animation was cool.” Pam happily accepts the compliment as Jim looks on. However, the waiter has other things on his mind as he shamelessly flirts with Pam, “Hey listen, you ever been on a motorcycle?” With that, all of Jim’s insecurities and fears rush to the surface. He tries to hide his annoyance and twinge of jealousy with a soft, “Ahhhhh . . .” and wraps his arm protectively around Pam. Jim’s fear of losing Pam has never been more apparent as he doesn’t let Pam handle the situation the same way he did with Ryan. The circumstances were very different, but it’s still notable that his reaction in this instance is much stronger than in DMI. Pam is a great catch, which only causes Jim to question his self worth further. She has blossomed into everything he knew she could be while he struggles to find his place.

Wrapping his arm around her is a very “Jim” way of subtlety telling the bartender to back off, but it’s also his subconscious notion of clinging to Pam. The very thought of losing her to someone else, no matter how remote the chances, burdens his mind. His happiness is linked to directly to her. Jim’s newly developed internal emotional honesty (see Money), makes him especially vulnerable and increasingly protective and reliant on his relationship with Pam.

The Bottom Line:
Jim seems to need Pam more than Pam needs Jim.

- - -

Questions to Ponder:

1) Who will Jim’s fears and insecurities stifle more: Jim, Pam, or JAM as a whole?

2) Could Jim’s happiness with Pam override his sense of being in a rut?

3) Is Jim ready for a catalyst to spark change in his life? Does it make difference on where or with whom the catalyst originates?