Hey Pam,

If Jim sees you reading this, just tell him I gave you my home phone number. At least until you bust out one of these phrases. He'll figure it out after that, Irish virgin.

If you're reading this, then you didn't take the picture and you're probably pretty pissed at me. I just needed to be sure you wouldn't lie to him. Don't be pissed, I knew you wouldn't. Why else would I have spent so much time on this damn letter?

So. Jim gave you a claddagh. With his birthstone. Yes, we all noticed. That means he loves you, like WHOA. He wouldn't want me to tell you this, but Pete made fun of him for it this morning. He didn't want you to know, that's why they kept arguing in Irish when you came outside. Which is why we were all so glad that YOU knocked him on his ass.

Anyway, I thought you would appreciate knowing that. And I think he'd appreciate if you learned how to say a few things in Irish. He never kept up on it like the rest of us, but I was surprised by how much the bonny lad still understands (don't ever call him that, by the way).

Did he tell you he hasn't brought a girl to meet the family since prom? Don't worry, you're cuter. Also, you rock at nerf war. Babes rule, buttheads drool!

'Riss

P.S. Don't tell him what I just told you about last year or he'll kill me. And I'll haunt the SHIT out of you.

P.P.S. Dispose of these two lines immediately.