After lunch, everyone brought their dishes back inside. Pete stayed inside, watching football with Gerald. The four of them were preparing to traipse back out for a rematch. On their way out the door, Pam called over her shoulder, "Go relax, Betsy. We'll do the dishes when we get back."

She set down the dishtowel and turned off the water. "How generous of you to volunteer! I'll take you up on that."

As she walked out of the kitchen, Larissa quipped, "We who? I don't do dishes."

"Me and Jim, duh."

Behind her back, Larissa pretended to crack an invisible whip. He coughed into his hand to hide his smile. "How generous of me to volunteer."

She looked up at him, eyes sparkling. "Yes, it was literally the least you could do."

He was unable to stifle his grin as he rolled his eyes, reluctantly nodding in agreement. "Alright, I'll dry. But first, dudes versus damsels."

"You sure?" Tom said skeptically, turning to Jim. "They're gonna get creamed. Whose idea was that?"

"My idea," Larissa bristled. "It was babes versus buttheads, get it right. And don't go easy on us because you think we can't take the heat."

Pam added, "That way, when we win, we'll know it's because we're the best."

Tom shrugged. "I suppose we can always re-rematch. After we grind you into the mud thirty seconds in."

In spite of Tom's confidence, Jim figured their odds were pretty close to even. Between ‘Riss's aim and Pam's creativity, it wasn't as lopsided a match as it might appear. Pam hadn't gotten a chance to use her gun in the last game, so her shooting skills were still a wildcard. Her aim on the shed had been better than he'd expected for a novice. There was also the minor problem that he wasn't at all certain he could bring himself to shoot her, even if it was only a nerf dart.

"Hah!" Larissa cackled. "Get ready for the pain, buttheads."

"Strategy time," said Pam. She and ‘Riss ran around the shed, whispering excitedly.

"Try to kill them before they kill us?" Tom asked.

"Great plan." They tapped guns and sat down on the patio, talking basketball while they waited.

A few minutes later, they were headed for the backyard once more. "Good luck! You're gonna need it," Pam called over her shoulder as they separated.

"More walkin', less talkin' Beesly," Jim admonished her.

"Shove it, butthead," Larissa retorted.

"I'm not calling either of you babe," Tom replied sardonically.

"Ew!" they replied simultaneously.

Jim smirked, rolling his eyes. "On my mark."

As they got out of earshot, Pam and Larissa pulled out their phones and silenced them. "Are you sure he won't shoot you?"

"No," Pam said. "But I know he's more likely to hesitate against me than you."

Larissa nodded in agreement. "Sometimes a second is all it takes. There's your spot, by the way. As fast as Jim is, he's not gonna make it there before you. He just ate way too much potato salad."

Pam memorized the location, not feeling quite so confident. So did I, she reflected. "You know he's gonna add a rule against phones after this game."

"Let's make it count." They got into position.

"Hup!" came Jim's voice from across the yard

As planned, they called back simultaneously. "Babes!"

He couldn't keep the laughter out of his voice as he counted down from three. "War!"

As Larissa ran in the opposite direction, Pam made a beeline for the spot she had indicated. It was a short circle of thick bushes with only one, incredibly narrow, gap through which to enter. A gnarled tree stump squatted low in the center. According to Larissa, all of them had been far too tall for far too long to take advantage of it. Neither of her brothers would expect anyone to be hiding there. Cramming herself in with difficulty, she sat cross-legged on the stump and ducked her head down. She was, she realized, almost completely invisible. Of course, she couldn't see anyone coming at this angle, but she could hear perfectly well. If she were lucky, she'd be able to shoot and duck without being detected.

Motionless, she sat for what seemed like ages. Her legs started to hurt. As she began to contemplate leaving her hiding place, she heard two pairs of footsteps approaching slowly from opposite directions. Heart thumping, she listened hard. "Hey," Jim said softly.

"Seen ‘em?" came Tom's reply.

"Nope. But it takes longer to sweep when you gotta look in treetops, too."

"They better not have ditched."

"'Riss might. Pam wouldn't." She grinned at that.

"I hope you're right."

"Could be turtling back at their start. Meet me? I'll take near edge."

"Yep. I got far." Tom snuck away as Jim crept closer. She held her breath as he walked right past her hiding spot, not more than ten feet away. She waited for him to pass. Gripping her gun in both hands, she rose up silently and aimed carefully above the back of his head. Sweeping her hands down, she squeezed off three quick shots in succession, hoping Tom was out of earshot by now. The first sailed wide over his head. The second whistled through the ends of his hair. The third one found its mark squarely in the back of his skull. Gamely, he stopped in his tracks and fell down dead without turning to see who had shot him. With a gleeful grin, she ducked back down and listened carefully. After ten seconds, she hadn't heard anything at all. She picked up her phone and speed-dialed Larissa, exiting her hiding spot as quietly as possible.

"Larceny, this is Pambo," she whispered as she pulled the darts from his front pockets. "Puppy has been put down."

Per the rules, he kept his eyes closed. He was so adding a rule against phones after this game. Still, he couldn't help grinning at the codenames and her choice of words. 

"Your first kill! How was it?" Larissa whispered back enthusiastically.

She giggled, stroking his cheek. "Headshot from behind with my third dart. He never saw it coming. It felt really good."

Jim smiled proudly. He hadn't seen it coming at all, hadn't heard the slightest peep until she began firing. And with the quickness of her shots, he hadn't had a chance to react before he was dead.

"Babes kick ass! Any info on Tomcat?"

"Tomcat is slowly heading to our base along the far edge. He and Puppy were sweeping treetops, thanks to you. What's your position?"

"Near the lilac bush on their side. You're still at the target location?"

"Affirmative. Now known as Puppy's grave."

"Meet you there."

Pam closed her phone and slipped it back into her pocket. She leaned down to whisper into his ear. "Isn't modern technology great?" She rolled him onto his side with no small effort. He remained deadweight, making her work for it. "Nothing personal," she explained as she emptied the ammo from his back pockets. "You're pretty hot for a dead guy, though." She kissed his cheek as she gently rolled him back into his original position.

He shook his head ever-so-slightly, grinning.

"Did that corpse just move?" she asked herself as she pulled the gun from his hand. She unloaded his darts, replacing them with 5 of her own. "Nah, must have been the wind." Unceremoniously, she dumped the pile of enemy darts onto the tree stump.

Momentarily, Larissa joined her. She handed her phone to Pam, who traded it for the spare gun. Carefully, Pam tucked the phone into Jim's pants pocket.

"Stay and watch the fireworks," Larissa said with a grin, nudging him with her shoe. "Not that you have a choice."

Pam giggled. "Wish us luck."

He smiled, silently rooting for her.

They hid nearby, but wisely split up. Pam pulled out her phone and re-dialed Larissa's number. The ringtone blasted at full volume from Jim's pocket. She hung up after one ring and the phone went silent.

Don't fall for it, Jim thought, knowing it was hopeless. What an amazing plan. Probably Pam's.

Shortly, he heard the sound of Tom's creeping footsteps. He opened his eyes a slit. He wouldn't miss Pam's first war-ending killshot for all the rules in the world.

"Oh shit," Tom muttered, seeing him on the ground. He turned to run, but it was too late. Pam leaned out from behind her tree and fired repeatedly at his retreating back. Paralyzed, he fell to the ground. He rolled over and shot back, emptying his clip, but she managed to duck behind the tree in time. As he was reloading, ‘Riss leaned out, firing both guns simultaneously, hitting him squarely in the chest with all 10 shots.

They whooped together, jumping up and down. "We flawlessed them! Holy shit!" said Larissa. "Has that ever happened in the history of the game?"

"Victory dance, go!" Pam declared.

Jim chuckled as he rose, brushing himself off. His eyes were glued to Pam as she danced beside ‘Riss. She looked amazingly dorky, but mostly just amazing. "Good game," he said, admiring her random gyrations, hops, and finger points. He'd rarely seen her dance before, and never quite like this.

"Damn it," Tom said, getting up. "Well-played, girls."

"Babes!" they chimed together with a high-five. Followed by a middle-five, then a low-five.

Tom rolled his eyes, smiling despite himself. "How'd they get you?" he asked as he walked over to Jim.

"Ambush," he admitted, unable to tear his eyes away from her. "Pam got me with a headshot from behind. I still dunno where the hell she was hiding."

"On the stump in the bushes," Pam said breathlessly, pointing. She appeared to be attempting a combination of the twist and the charleston. "I dumped your ammo in there, by the way. Might wanna grab it on your way home, loser." She raised her eyebrows at him, face flushed, eyes glittering.

Jim blinked at her incredulously. If he never saw her do this dance again, he would die a very unhappy man. Wishing he had a video camera, he settled for committing it to memory instead. "No way did you fit in there. No way did I walk right past it without seeing you."

"Way," she assured him smugly, transitioning jerkily into a dance that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the robot. "'Riss's idea."

"But using the phones was all Pam," Larissa said, robotting as well. "This chick rocks, Jim."

"Affirmative." They exchanged robotic high-fives.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Phones? Seriously?"

"New rule," Jim announced.

Pam danced her way over. Imitating John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever, she put her finger to his lips repeatedly. He couldn't help but laugh.