WScranton8: and that’s why calzones are better than pizza

MorganLaFey: hey as long as you don’t stump for that chicago deep dish stuff

MorganLaFey: I mean it’s not bad but it’s not pizza you know?

WScranton8: agreed

WScranton8: fancy tomato casserole

WScranton8: with cheese

MorganLaFey: precisely!

MorganLaFey: now, why were you and your roommate having calzones?

WScranton8: oh yeah! I totally forgot to mention. I got a job!

MorganLaFey: no way!

MorganLaFey: you’re really going to have to work on this “prioritizing information” thing Scranton.

MorganLaFey: congrats!

WScranton8: yeah, well, it’s not exactly the best job

MorganLaFey: ?

WScranton8: so, no personal details, but I think my boss might even be crazier than yours

WScranton8: like, he hired me off a phone call

WScranton8: no in-person interview

MorganLaFey: so? Lots of people do that.

WScranton8: yeah, but the phone interview consisted of him asking me for dating tips

WScranton8: I think he’s trying to date one of his superiors?

WScranton8: not entirely clear

MorganLaFey: oh dear

WScranton8: yeah

WScranton8: and then he sang “Like A Virgin” when I told him this would be my first job after college

WScranton8: he made a surprisingly convincing Madonna, actually

MorganLaFey: oh dear

WScranton8: and I figured he’d want to like deliberate or at least you know meet me before hiring me

WScranton8: but after the singing and the dating tips he asked if I would be his friend

WScranton8: and I was like “uh, yes? I guess?”

WScranton8: and he said “you’re hired! See you Monday!”

MorganLaFey: lol

WScranton8: so…I have a job?

WScranton8: but seriously, what am I getting myself into?

MorganLaFey: well I don’t think you have my job beat

MorganLaFey: but you’re in the running

WScranton8: right?

MorganLaFey: so if it’s anything like here, you still won’t have any idea what you’re getting yourself into after a year

WScranton8: lol

WScranton8: so I should prepare myself for the long haul?

WScranton8: because right now that thought is terrifying

MorganLaFey: try living it

WScranton8: well, apparently I will be

MorganLaFey: apparently so

WScranton8: so, tips?

WScranton8: tricks, approaches, methods of dealing?

WScranton8: I may not be in your particular desperate straits, but I need some help here

MorganLaFey: keep your head down, don’t make waves…and if you can slip away for lunch, DO IT.

WScranton8: thanks :-)

MorganLaFey: anytime

That Monday Jim went to work with a serious sense of foreboding. This “Michael Scott” guy seemed…eccentric at best, and while he’d apparently taken a real shine to Jim over the phone, Jim worried that things might change very quickly once they actually, you know, met. He arrived at Dunder Mifflin (the only local company that had called him back; he’d had to Google them to remember they sold paper when oh-call-me-Michael had called) at 8:30 on the dot, because Michael had said there was paperwork to fill out before he could start his first day.

The office was almost empty.

This gave him an excellent opportunity to ask around, but he found himself tongue-tied. There, sitting at the desk at reception, was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. At least he thought so. So far he’d only see the back and side of her head as she worked diligently on something-or-other. He shook himself. If she caught him staring at her she might tell Michael about the creepy new guy and this whole thing might fall apart before it began. He coughed involuntarily and she turned to him with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Welcome to Dunder Mifflin. I’m Pam. How can I help you?”

“Hi, uh, Pam, I’m Jim. Jim Halpert.”

She stared at him quizzically.

“I’m here to meet with, uh, Michael Scott?” He rubbed the back of his head. “Or he said…I’m not sure I got this right…‘if I’m not there I suppose you can meet with our resident sadist Toby’?” He didn’t really want to start out his first day making fun of his boss—who knew what this vision of a Pam might think of Michael, or of him for that matter—but Michael hadn’t really told him enough to identify who Toby was, and it seemed best to be as close in the description as possible. Also, a large part of him really, really wanted to make this woman laugh, and he thought his Michael impression might get the job done.

It did.

“Oh yeah, Toby’s in back. He’s our HR rep.”

“That makes sense, since I’m the new salesman.”

“Welcome aboard. Let’s get you back to Toby before Michael can slander him any further. Toby’s a nice guy. You’ll like him.”

As she said this, they walked back around into an area Jim hadn’t even realized existed. A sad-faced man sat there filling out paperwork with a picture of a small child on his desk. He looked up as Pam entered and a small smile fought for space on his otherwise dour face. He glanced from her to Jim and the smile faded.

“Hey Toby. This is Jim. Michael said he’s supposed to meet with you?”

Toby stood up and offered his hand.

“Hi, Jim. I just read Michael’s email. I’m really supposed to meet the new hires before they get offered a job, but…”

“Oh, I didn’t know, I…”

“But there’s nothing to be done about it now. Here’s the forms. Do you need me tell you how to fill them out?”

“Um…”

“Let me know if you have any problems. I’d suggest you sit in the break room to fill them out; we’ll see about getting you a desk once you’re done.”

“Thanks.”

Jim followed Pam back into the main room and across to a small break room with a couple of tables. She smiled at him as he sat down and pulled out a pen.

“I guess I’ll leave you to it. You know where I am if you have any trouble.”

“I don’t know, could you remind me? Maybe draw me a map? Text me directions?”

He was rewarded with a smile and an almost-laugh. She pointed out the window towards her desk, clearly visible through the blinds.

“I’ll be over there. Think you could find it again, Jim the Explorer?”

“Perhaps.” He grinned. She smiled back.

“Then I’ll see you soon.”

He set to the paperwork with a will, trying to force himself not to look up and stare at Pam going about her everyday tasks. The forms only took about ten minutes, so he was back at her desk in ten minutes and five seconds.

“Done. Do I get a prize?”

“You can have some candy, I suppose.” She gestured to the little dish on her desk with a smile. “Then bring them back to Toby and we’ll get you set up.”

Talking to Toby about the forms took a little longer than he’d expected (he’d transposed two numbers in his hurry to get back to talking to Pam) and by the time he was out of the back the rest of the employees had come in—Michael, apparently, excepted. The names washed over him in a blur—Kelly, Angela, Oscar, Kevin—and then he found himself in front of reception again lost in a pair of lovely eyes. He had to shake himself to get back any semblance of focus.

“What did you say?”

“I said enjoy this moment, because you’re never going to go back to this time before your met your desk-mate, Dwight.” She grinned up at him.

“Oh ye of little faith. I’ll have you know I brought my portable time-machine with me this morning.” He tapped his watch. “If necessary, I can put this whole day in front of me again to do over.”

She slapped his arm lightly and muffled a guffaw with her other hand. His arm burned where she touched it.

He was fully ready to meet this “Dwight,” whatever happened, if it meant she’d laugh at him like that forever.