"Hi."

"Hey."

They stood there silently staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Jim didn't know if time had stopped and was merely torturing him because he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers.

She shifted her feet and it looked as if she wanted to say something to him, something important, because she was taking shallow breaths. Her eyes finally tore away and darted to the floor.

"Hi."

Jim felt like he was going to swallow his own tongue. "Um...you said that already."

She nodded slowly, still not looking at him. Her watched her start to tangle her fingers together , a nervous habit she had.

"I-uh-I...so..."

"Yeah." Jim sighed out softly.

"How are you?"

Jim dropped his eyes. How are you? It seemed simple enough, yet it burned as it entered his ears. It was so casual. How are you? How's it hanging? Yo. What would have been better to hear would be "Hey, I'm in love with you too" but he guessed that was just too much to ask. So he'd keep it casual, if that's what kept him sane. He was fighting so hard not to reach out and touch her, to yank her towards him because his body was begging him to. "Just-just getting over a cold, ya know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I was so sick yesterday I left early," he sputtered out, finally regaining courage to look at her again. And he knew he would never want anyone more than he wanted her. And that pissed him off.

"I saw you. On the elevator. I tried-well...I'm glad you're feeling better." She said quickly, looking up sheepishly at him.

"Yeah, thanks." His voice grew cold because this conversation was not going the way he felt it should. His ideal included declarations of love, but they were too busy stammering over simple shit to do that.

"Don't do that." he heard her say suddenly and he jerked his head up and clenched his jaw.

"Do what?"

She shook her head and untangled her fingers. "Act like this. Like it doesn't hurt. Because I know...trust me. I know it does."

"Do you?" Jim snapped out harsher than he wanted to.

Pam turned her head away slightly. Her bottom lip quivered a bit. He noticed it, just like he noticed everything about her.  "Yes. I do. I know how it feels to try to build that wall, Jim and that's what you're doing."

Jim stepped back, unable to go through this with her.  She had no right to tell him not to protect himself, when she lived in denial for 4 years. "Don't tell me how to handle this, Pam."

She had tears forming in her eyes and she wouldn't look at him. She stared back at her feet. "I feel like I'm invading your space. Like I'm hurting you by being here. But it doesn't have to be-"

Jim shook his head. "You can't even look at me, can you?" It came out more as a choked whisper.

She hiccupped and he saw a tear drop to her feet. "Jim-"

"I was fine before you got here. I was-I wasn't perfect, but I was okay. I was starting to get back a little a bit of what I lost back in Scranton. And I lost alot back there."

She nodded but still didn't look up and her shoulders shook as she silently cried. "I-I know. So did I."

"And that's what hurt me most. You were hurting and you knew I would have sucked up my own pain to be there for you. How could you not-"

"I don't know. I was...I was wrong Jim." She sobbed.

Jim bit his lip. "Stop. Please. Don't cry."

"No...no. We needed to do this. If I was going to be here, with you...I needed to let you say what you needed to say because I don't want all this tension hanging in the air." Pam sniffed.

"it's not tension, Pam." Jim said softly and he turned away from her then, unable to watch her cry because of what he was saying. "It's more than tension. It's pain."

She rocked back and forth and choked in her cry. "This was a bad idea. A bad idea."

He figured she was talking mostly to herself. Because suddenly he felt like he did need this. She was right. And watching her cry like that, her small frame shaking, he couldn't take it much longer. No matter how hurt or angry he was...he loved her, and he could never be responsible for her tears.

He reached out to grab her so he could hold her, when Ryan and Josh came out the bathroom. Jim recoiled his hand quickly and Pam spun around towards the counter to mask her crying, before shuffling off quickly to the ladies room. Neither Ryan nor Josh even noticed.

Jim stood there frozen, unable to move anymore. Ryan and Josh said something to him, but it didn't register. He couldn't even breathe. And this is what he feared the most, he was felt the same way he did on Casino night, standing outside watching her smile and giggle. Her hair curled down her back and her periwinkle dress mesmerizing. Except now they were in Stamford, there was no Roy, there was nothing but pain they caused each other hanging between them. So he decided he wanted her to know...he needed her to know....more than once.