Saturday morning brought sunshine to Brooklyn. Jim was thankful for that as he stood on the sidewalk, pleasantly warmed by the heat of the sun but cooled by the fresh spring air. With his hands in his coat pockets, he watched everyone rush by as he always did, hoping that someone in that crowd would be Pam, coming to him with bright eyes and the promise of something new. He hadn’t been counting, but he checked his watch for about the 5th time since he’d gotten there 10 minutes ago, growing more and more anxious as the hands crossed over each other. Granted, he was early, more than just a little early too, like a full 20 minutes earlier than he was meant to be. Embarrassingly early in the eyes of Jim Halpert.
He crossed his arms, leaning against the brick wall with a sigh. Pam had been on his mind last night, and he couldn’t help playing out their ‘date’ together as he slept, dreaming of lattes with two sugars and warm blueberry muffins and Pam’s bright, beautiful smile. Was it even a date? He had joked about it, and she had never corrected him, though he supposed he had only been half kidding. For all he knew, she could have a nice boyfriend sitting at home for her, waiting for her to return from a meeting with an acquaintance so they could go on a real date. And that guy would get more than a cup of coffee and a couple of kind smiles.
It went like this for a while. Check watch, overthink about Pam. Check watch, look at the street, overthink about Pam. His head was starting to hurt by the time it had finally reached nine thirty. When he looked up from his watch this time, Pam was crossing the street, wearing a thin scarf and coat, the cold reddening her cheeks. Of course she was right on time, and Jim felt even more embarrassed to have been so early.
“Hi.” She beamed up at him, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m not late, am I?”
“You’re just in time.” He smiled back at her, pulling open the door for them. “Shall we?”
Pam walked in first, and he followed behind, instantly comforted by the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of people and clattering. They settled down together after a few moments, Pam choosing their seats by the window, and they removed their coats, easing into a strange sense of comfort and familiarity.
Jim wrapped his hands around his coffee cup to warm them, and Pam did the same, gingerly taking a sip of her tea before squinting, raising an eyebrow at him over the rim of her mug. “Wasn’t there something you had to give me?”
He could see the smile in her eyes, and he laughed, reaching into his coat pockets for the little book in question. “Here.” He offered, watching her carefully. “You know, it might’ve been quicker for me to get hold of you if you’d put your last name in here. I could’ve guessed your e-mail, that would’ve been more romantic.”
“There’s no way that would be quicker. Would you really send some strange e-mail to another Pam Beesly? You know Jim, you shouldn’t send e-mails to people you don’t know, didn’t anyone ever tell you that?”
“Huh… I must’ve missed that important life lesson in the second grade…” He smirked, meeting her eyes with the same humour that she had in hers. Beesly, huh, he thought, smiling to himself as he took a sip of his coffee. It suited her, if a last name could suit anyone, but he couldn’t imagine her with a different one. ‘Pam Beesly’. He imagined saying it, much like he’d done on the train the day before.
“But hey,” She began, setting her mug down, “Enough with the dirt on me, how about you Mister Jim No-Last-Name.”
“It’s actually Mister Jim Halpert.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone, resting his elbows on the table to lean in to her closer. “Now that we’re properly introduced, can we finally have that sleepover? I hear that’s what all best friends do.”
“Oh of course” She grinned, leaning in like he was. “I can even braid your hair if you want.”
They laughed together, which made Jim all the more glad to have taken her sketchbook home with him, and made any worries that he’d had that morning disappear in the form of broad smiles and fond looks. It was so easy with Pam, much easier than it had been with anyone else. He couldn’t believe that life had been that kind to him. Something had to be wrong.
“So tell me more.” She smiled, taking a piece from the muffin they’d been sharing. “What do you do in Brooklyn?”
“Well I’m an intern at a sports magazine company. Right now, my pay’s probably just above minimum wage and all I do is fetch things for other people, but I’m hoping they’ll let me write something soon.”
“Hey, that sounds cool. Better than some boring office job right?”
“Right.” He chuckled warmly, pressing his still cold fingertips to the heat of the mug. “I couldn’t even imagine that.”
“You’d be like that guy we saw yesterday.” Pam gushed, and Jim watched in awe as she grew more enthusiastic. “Combed hair, short sleeved mustard shirts tucked nicely into some brown trousers. Oh my God, and those glasses!” She grinned, staring at him. “I could see it on you.”
Jim remembered the man from yesterday, and sat up comically in his seat, straight backed and stiff as he had been when he stormed past them. He tried to mimic the stern look on his face, and much to his delight, Pam loved it.
In fact, she loved it so much that she’d had to reach for a napkin to stifle her laughter.
“Beesly!” He whispered with a grin, leaning in as he had before. He peered over his shoulder, waiting for everyone to lose interest in Pam’s outburst and return to their daily business. But he didn’t mind that they were being stared at. He didn’t mind that people knew he was with her.
“Sorry, sorry.” She looked back up, red faced and trying to regain composure. “You are something else Jim.”
When she said that, staring at him with those shining green eyes, Jim thought he would die. And if he died there, in the middle of his favourite coffee shop with the girl of his dreams, he’d be happy. Because she was looking at him in a way that no one had ever looked at him before; there was so much admiration and hope in those eyes, and though he still saw flashes of fear, he hoped that it wouldn’t hold her back. He was scared too. Maybe they could be scared together.
The magic ended when her phone rang.
Pam was blushing again, but not like before. She looked… guilty all of a sudden, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“Sorry, I have to take this.”
She was quick, grabbing her phone from her coat pocket before she headed to the back of the shop, round to where the bathrooms were.
Jim waited patiently, deciding to leave the last bit of muffin for her when she got back, and he finished his coffee, looking out the window just in time to see the sun disappearing behind the clouds. He sighed, any hopes he had of finally enjoying a sunny day being ruined by the usual Brooklyn smog, and he turned back around, hoping that Pam could lift his spirits.
She was walking back to their table a couple of minutes later, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Oh God, had he said something wrong? Did she have bad news? Jim’s heart was racing as she slid back into her seat, setting her phone down on the table.
“Hey, sorry about that. Listen, I um… I have to go.”
“Really? What’s up?” He hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but he was just getting to know her, the real her. Pam Beesly, fancy art student with the prettiest smile and the kindest heart.
“My… um.” She paused, looking down into her lap. “My boyfriend’s coming to pick me up. He uh, has plans for us later and he wants me home.”
Boyfriend. Those 9 letters were the sourest ones Pam had spoken to him. Of course she had a boyfriend. There was no way in hell that Pam Beesly hadn’t been snagged up by some great guy already.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” He offered her his best smile, though it was getting harder and harder to be the cool new friend the longer she looked at him with those sad eyes. Those damned, beautiful eyes. It was obvious she didn’t want to go. She would’ve been out the door by now, or at least have her coat on, but she was sat, just as she had been before the call, except this time, there were less smiles.
“Really?” Finally, she was pulling her coat over her shoulders, retying her scarf with shaking hands. “This was really nice.” She glanced out the window, Jim wincing when he heard the honk of a car horn. “I’ll uh, I’ll give you a call!” She stood swiftly, pushing her chair back before leaning down to him, giving him a short and hasty hug. He breathed in, placing his hand on the small of her back. She smelled sweet like vanilla. But she was gone before he could indulge in the moment, and he smiled bitterly as he watched her from the window, opening the door of an unknown car, to no doubt greet the man of her dreams.
Jim groaned, tugging at the ends of his hair. It all haunted him suddenly, the coffee shop, and her lip gloss marks on the teacup, and the left-over muffin, and that other guy. He couldn’t help but wallow in the pathetic feeling that washed over him, and he slumped in his seat, pulling the mouthful of muffin towards him by the wrapper, popping it into his mouth, treating it like some sort of remedy.
Jim glared at the clouds, shoving his hands into his pockets, and kicking his legs out in front of him. Brooklyn was never sunny. Girls like Pam were never single. And guys like him were always friends, the kind of guys to bring sketchbooks back on a Saturday morning. The ones to joke around with. The ones to help out. But they were never, ever the ones that the girls came home to.
Jim Halpert was going to change that someday.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The Office Ladies really did that huh
Chapter End Notes:
Oh... the temptation to have Pam’s last name as Anderson was so, so strong. But, it’s not that kind of story. And I wasn’t feeling that cruel today.
