Rain. It was falling, heavily, blurring the streets of Brooklyn to smudges of grey. This rainfall was nothing new, something that came a few times every Spring, but more often during the Fall, and everyone was used to it. They all knew the hazy yellows and oranges belonged to cab lights, that they’d all be equally as miserable as each other, so it was best to stay away from jaywalking or bumping into anyone to avoid being sworn at (even more than usual). The greatest thing they’d learned was that there was no difference between a trusty umbrella, or a coat held over your head, because somehow, you’d still end up on your doorstep dripping wet.
Most importantly, the rain put Jim in the foulest of moods. And that grey Monday morning was no exception.
His Sunday had been bleak to say the least. He had spent it tucked up in bed, tired and on edge, repeating his usual friend zone ritual. But this time it was different. Never once had the thought of Pam and her boyfriend left his mind, never had he ever thought about someone so much in his whole life, or been haunted by someone as much as Pam. He’d started a game for himself by the afternoon, trying to guess anything he could about Pam’s boyfriend. Was he a ‘let’s split the bill tonight’ kind of guy or a ‘whoops I’ve accidentally left my wallet at home, could you get this one, babe?” kind of guy. That was another thing; did he have nicknames for her? Did he throw in a cringey ‘babe’ every now and then or did he prefer to stick with the classics like ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’. Did he call her ’Beesly’ like he did, maybe he just liked to stick with ‘Pam.’ Maybe he even called her ‘Pammy’, though, Jim couldn’t imagine her liking that very much. It went on like that for hours.
He had never resented his past-self more when he was hunched over his kitchen counter the next morning, cup of coffee and a couple of aspirin by his side.
Jim was awake early that morning, early enough to take a set by his window before he had to get ready for work. As he was sat there, nursing his headache over caffeine, he wondered if Pam was awake yet, if she was looking out at the rain covered streets like he was, observing the people rush by under a sea of black umbrellas. Last night, when he was having a particularly tough argument with himself about whether Pam’s boyfriend was into hockey or basketball, she had called him, asking if they wanted to meet each other by her apartment in the morning to walk to the station together, and had proposed the idea that they made it a regular thing. He couldn’t have said yes any faster.
So, he kept thinking about that, and thought of getting to spend an extra 10 minutes with Pam in the morning was easing the pounding in his head. That and coffee number 2 tied him over until 7 o’clock, when he got up from his comfortable seat and dragged himself to the shower.
Once the second cup of coffee had been drunk, down to the very last drop, Jim was out of his front door, bundled up in his woollen scarf and cotton coat, umbrella shoved hastily into his satchel. He wasn’t one for Monday’s, and the dangerous combination of headache and bad mood weren’t making the day much easier. All he wanted to do was see Pam again, ask her how her Sunday was, maybe see if she wanted to come over for a little bit after he’d been to work. And he was surprised to see that walking down his street in a light blue raincoat.
“Pam?” He rushed down a few of the steps outside his apartment, waving his arm above his head. “Pam, is that you?”
She was stood a couple of feet away from him, holding a flimsy grey umbrella, wearing a brilliant smile on her face. “I just love the rain, don’t you?”
Jim rolled his eyes, flashing her a flat smile before he went down to her on the sidewalk, walking alongside her with his head down, staring at his feet. “Oh yeah, it’s just great.” He swapped his umbrella to his left hand so he could walk comfortably with Pam on his right. “So as nice as this surprise meeting is, wasn’t I supposed to be meeting you?”
“You were, but I was up early this morning and I decided to have a walk around. It’s actually quite nice, although I did almost get splashed by a car. But.” She shook her head. “I’m glad we bumped into each other, actually, I was about to rush back to my apartment to meet you.”
“You’re crazy, Beesly, walking around in weather like this for fun.”
She grinned again “Like I said, I love the rain.”
They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the end of his street, where Pam looked back over her shoulder. “Hey, we live quite close, how come you never said anything?”
He shrugged, figuring he could cut himself some slack for forgetting to mention it, since he was pretty busy decoding the guy of Pam’s dreams. “It uh, must’ve slipped my mind.”
Halfway to the station, when they were waiting to cross the street, the rain got heavier and the crossing got busier, which he didn’t mind since he got to stand closer to Pam, they were practically sharing umbrellas by that point, but he would’ve liked it if the man behind him took a step back; the droplets from his umbrella were falling down Jim’s back. She turned to him then, with furrowed brows and her lip between her teeth. “Jim, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“Go ahead Beesly, what secrets have you been keeping?”
She laughed, barely, looking down at the floor. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to go into it now, but… We’re meeting Roy at the station today. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner it’s just…”
Roy? Roy. Pam’s infamous boyfriend who probably enjoyed looking around art galleries and who listened to ‘The Smiths’ because he just had to be that cultured to be with her. Roy: pain-in-the-ass sleep stealer who liked to laugh at Jim in his dreams for having everything he wanted. Great. His day was just getting better and better.
“Oh. That’s okay.” He gave her his best smile, giving her a gentle nudge. “Pam, you don’t have to apologise. He’s your boyfriend, I wont yell at you for seeing him.”
They finally crossed after a stream of impatient cab drivers, Pam busy texting one handed, Jim self-diagnosing himself with Roy-initis. Its symptoms were fatal, including lack of sleep and low self-esteem, things that never coupled well with headaches and rainy days. Unfortunately, the only known cure was a certain Pam Beesly, but the line at the drugstore was long, and Jim didn’t know when he’d get to the front.
Just around the corner from the station, Pam stopped him, gently holding onto his forearm, giving it a small squeeze. He hoped she might do it again when they were shoved up against each other on the train, though, he supposed Roy might be next to him instead, letting Pam take the last seat in the carriage, like the hero he was “Thank you for being so good about this, Jim. It really means a lot.”
The station was busy and bustling as usual, but an unfamiliar face was smiling at him from under the shelter, not him but at Pam, rather, and she rushed to him, leaving Jim behind. He had no umbrella, no coat held over his head, only wearing a simple brown jacket that hugged his broad shoulders. His large hand was splayed across Pam’s back, and he was holding a small leather bag in his other. Jim smirked to himself, never picturing Roy as a purse kind of guy, but he handed it to Pam before he could laugh about it.
“…you left it at my place last night.”
While Jim waited patiently, watching as Pam kept her head down, engaging in a hushed conversation with Roy, he had the time to look at her properly. Her trusty keds from Friday had been replaced by small black heels, her rolled up jeans swapped out with a grey pencil skirt. It should’ve been more obvious to him before, since she wasn’t struggling to hold about 5 folders in her arm. She was a lot less Fancy Art School Beesly, and much more Business Beesly.
“Oh.” Pam grinned when he stepped forward, pulling him closer by his hand. “Roy, this is Jim. Jim Halpert.”
Jim politely shook Roy’s hand that had finally managed to detach itself from Pam’s waist. Definitely a hockey fan, he thought, shifting his falling satchel back onto his shoulder.
“Hey man.” Roy gave him a firm clap on the back, which Jim had to smile through, reminding himself to ice it or something when he got home. “Pammy’s told me a lot about you.”
She had? He thought he might explode right there and then, but he didn’t fancy being scraped of the dingy walls of Hoyt Schermerhorn. And of course Roy had called her Pammy, he hadn’t missed the way Pam’s smile dropped a little, and he figured that he wasn’t so bad at the Roy guessing game. He rumbled through the usual formalities of introducing himself, telling Roy what he did for a living, which made him feel like a little paper boy compared to Roy’s manly warehouse job at some bigshot company.
But as he put his umbrella down, grimly glancing up at the sky, he had to remember that Pam wasn’t his, that no matter how good he was at figuring Roy out, he still wouldn’t be able to take his place. And his headache got worse. And the rain never stopped.
On his way down the steps of the station, dripping umbrella dangling from his right hand, he listened to the usual squeak of shoes against the floor and the buzz of rushed conversation. Behind him, Pam and Roy kept close, and Jim wished she was stepping down beside him instead, keeping a hold of the tips of his fingers so they wouldn’t lose each other.
By the time they were waiting at the platform, Pam and Roy had continued their hushed conversation from before. He wasn’t trying to listen in, but it was hard with the both of them right behind him, and while he kept trying to ignore it, he picked up on Pam’s pleas that went along the lines of ‘I don’t think this is a good idea’ and ‘what about what I want to do’.
He wanted to turn around and give Roy a piece of his mind, but he wasn’t that kind of guy, and who would he be to cause a scene like that in front of everyone. So he stayed facing forwards, head pounding harder, with his shoulders hunched, being the good friend that he was, 2002’s shoulder to cry on.
Thankfully, the carriage they’d chosen was fairly empty. Jim took his usual standing spot, Pam and Roy taking seats opposite each other. He watched them with narrowed eyes, Pam looking down at her hands in her lap while Roy answered his phone with an obnoxiously loud laugh.
Jim sighed, shaking his head. There was no way that guy listened to ‘The Smiths’, and he was definitely a culprit of leaving his wallet at home, more than once.
When they reached Pam’s stop, Jim stared pointedly at her, waiting for her to stand up and call Roy over. She met his eyes, shaking her head once and holding up a finger, telling him that they’d speak about it later. As the train set of again, Roy wandered up to the end of the carriage, and Pam lifted herself up onto her feet, taking a hold of the pole below Jim’s hand.
“It’s a long story Jim, I’ve told you this already.” She sighed, hugging her raincoat around herself.
“Beesly, I’ve got all the time in the world.” He glanced at his watch, flashing her a small smile. “But see if you can squeeze it into a 5-minute slot.”
Finally she laughed, twisting around to face him.“I’ve been struggling a little… financially, so Roy got me a job interview at his work. Which is great, y’know, he’s looking out for me. But I said I didn’t really want to do it. I told him I could sell some of my art at my gallery opening next week, but he didn’t seem to think that would do me any good. Can you believe that? It’s just… it took me so long to convince him to let me come to Pratt. What if I’m not being grateful enough?”
He frowned, looking over Pam’s head at Roy, who was now pacing the width of the carriage, laughing heartily with his hands shoved in his pockets. God, he’d been so wrong about him. There was no way in hell Pam could stay with a guy like that. Jim couldn’t let that happen.
“Pam. You shouldn’t need to worry about this. Being here, in Brooklyn, it’s all about doing what you want to do, even if that means being a little selfish sometimes. Now, I’m not saying you should hop off this train at the next stop to skip out on your interview, leaving Roy’s sorry ass behind, but, you shouldn’t write off that gallery just because Roy doesn’t think it’s a good idea. You can do anything you put your mind to, please don’t limit yourself”
She glanced over her shoulder nervously, leaning in closer to him. “You think so?
“I know so, you should get out there and show people your work. Kick the art world’s butt, show them what they’re missing. And I’ll be there, waving my ‘Team Pam’ flag for everyone to see.”
Her laugh rang in his ears again, the closest he could get to a quick fix for the cure of Roy-initis, and he couldn’t help but grin at her as he stared into her bright eyes. “I’d like for you to be there. To be my ‘Team Pam’ enthusiast, more than you know Jim.”
He might’ve laid his heart out on the line when she said that, right there with her boyfriend just feet away from them, in the middle of a grubby metro, but they’d just reached his stop, and people were starting to pile onto the train.
“I have to go. But Pam, tell me how your interview goes, and text me the info for your opening. I’d really love to be there.” He gave her hand a small squeeze, taking a leap of faith and pressing a quick peck to her lips as a group of commuters surrounded them.
He rushed onto the platform after that, almost slipping from the adrenaline rushing through him. Okay, it was no big declaration of love or anything, but he did a thing that ‘Best Friend Jim’ wouldn’t usually do. Soon, he’d be 2002’s most likely to get the girl. And Roy Anderson could suck it.
--
After a long day of staring intensely at his cell phone and printing articles into magazines, Jim was ready to get back on the train and go about his usual commute home. He flicked open his phone, still no message from Pam, but he still decided to drop her a message, asking her if she was home yet.
He sat down on his way home, as he always did, not bothering to put in his earphones this time, glancing over to his right at the pole in the middle of the carriage. He’d kissed Pam there. Maybe not by that exact pole, but the idea was still the same. It was no romantic kiss, she might not have thought of it like that, since it was only a peck and she had a boyfriend, but it was the closest he could get to kissing her without her feeling guilty for anything.
He felt like he’d made the right decision, and he slumped down in his seat, closing his eyes for just a moment to remember his day.
As the train stopped at his station, Jim stood up on legs like jelly, shuffling through the doors to the platform. He checked his phone again for Pam’s message, but still, there was nothing, and he furrowed his brows before tucking it back in his pocket, heading up the steps to the street.
The rain still hadn’t eased up, and Jim reached into his bag for an umbrella that wasn’t there, but was rather sitting quite comfortably on his seat on the train. “Shit.” He muttered, glancing up at the sky before pulling his coat tightly around him, deciding to make a run for it instead of trying to shelter himself with something that would ultimately do him no good.
There were a couple of near misses on his way to his apartment, he almost knocked someone off their bike, and very nearly got hit by a less than pleased cab driver. Now, he was really ready to get his day over and done with, but it seemed like life had other things in store for him, because when he reached his building, he saw Pam pacing around outside.
His heart dropped straight to his stomach.
“Jim?” She came towards him, shivering furiously. Her umbrella and coat were nowhere to be seen, and her blouse was clinging to her like a second skin.
“Pam? What are you doing here? Are you crazy?”
She ignored him, meeting his eyes with a ferocity that he’d never seen before. “What you said to me earlier today, on the train, Roy’s never said anything so kind to me before in the 5 years I’ve known him. Jim, you’ve only known me for 4 days, how can you possibly have so much faith in me?”
He opened his mouth, dumbfounded, trying to get out words that simply wouldn’t come to him.
“And what about that kiss? What the hell does that mean? I think you’re the crazy one Jim, I think you’re out of your damn mind.”
He was ready to defend himself then, taking a step closer to her. But she was back on track again, crossing her arms over her chest. “But, you… you make me feel special Jim. I can’t explain it. It sounds crazy but it’s like we’re connected, you and me, somehow. And so, I just need to know.”
She stepped towards him, hands slipping up through his wet hair and round to his neck, before her lips were on his, tender, seeking for something she hadn’t found yet. The hands around his neck sent water running down the back of his coat, but he didn’t mind this time because it felt like he was being coated in her and joy and all things bright and beautiful. His hands fell to her waist, holding her close to him for dear life, and as sweet as it had been, it had to end, and Pam was away from him again, fingers pressed to her lips.
All she did was nod, before she looked at him with big green eyes that swam with fear and excitement. “I, um, I have to go.”
She turned stiffly, running down the street, before she turned, waving her arms above her head. “Thursday night, 8’ o clock.” She called before she was off again, disappearing round the corner.
Jim, wet, cold, confused, buzzing, had never felt so overwhelmed before. What had just happened?
He shook his head, wide eyed as he stumbled up his apartment steps with jelly legs, not from tiredness, but from the thrill of kissing Pam Beesly.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I had a WAR with Microsoft Word for this chapter- don’t even get me started.
Chapter End Notes:
#royisoverparty
homemadejam is the author of 1 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 4 members. Members who liked Subway Girl also liked 103 other stories.
