I am giddy.  Very giddy.  We are walking into the diner and I keep smiling ear to ear.

After all the pain and heartbreak the two of us faced during the past year, we are finally here.

I look at Jim and boldly slip my hand into his.  He gives me a soft smile and interlocks his large hand into my petite one.  He opens the door for me like he always does, but it never ceases to amaze me the differences from Roy.

We walk into the Glider Diner and walk up to the hostess.  “A booth for two please.”  The hostess nods at Jim and leads us to a booth in the back, the diner is surprisingly packed for a Thursday night.  We sit on opposite sides of the booth.

Once the hostess leaves there is an awkward silence for a while.  Finally, Jim musters the courage to start the conversation.  “So, what did I miss today?”

I grin.  “You have no idea.”

Jim chuckles and tells me, “Fire away Beesly.  I have had quite the day also.”

I smile and start to tell him about the crazy day I have had.  “So after that,  Dwight pulls me into his office and tells me that he has made himself his own Assistant Regional Manager and Andy is his number two.  But the best part!  He made me the Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager!”

Jim lets his head roll back in laughter.  He laughs and I laugh, and we laugh until our chests hurt.  It has been too long since we have laughed like this together.

Jim grins at me and asks me, “Did serve your post well?”

I nod.  “I helped him get his point across during his lecture about the origins of paper.”

Jim chuckles and his smile widens.  “Do I even want to know?”

I laugh, “You do.  Dwight brought the seven different types of Pennsylvania topsoil to lecture us.  And of course he gave us the all important question.  What is the most important element in the production of above ground leafy growth?  And if you don't get this question right, you can’t give me a kiss on my doorstep.”  

He sighed, “Well this is a tough question Pam.  I gotta go with, wait what did you say?”

I smile shyly at his exclamation.  “You heard what I said.”

I see him swallow and he chuckles nervously.  “Uh, I gotta go with Carbon Dioxide or phosphorus.  

I shake my head in mock shame, “No Jim.  It’s nitrogen.”  

Jim slaps his forehead with his head.  “Ah darn.  That is a shame.  You sure I can’t kiss you later?”  He gives me an intense stare that is full of many emotions.  Love, challenging, and hope.

I shake my head.  “Nope, I guess I’ll have to be the one to initiate the kiss.”  His jaw literally drops.  I bask in his shock.

“I like Fancy New Beesly.”  I grin.

We are just beaming at each other with nosiness smiles when a waitress comes to our table.  “What can I get for you two kids,” the middle aged waitress asks us.

We blush simultaneously, both knowing that we were enjoying each other’s company far too much to even glance at the menu.  I decide to go with a plain “Cheeseburger and a Coke.”

The waitress nods and scribbles it down on her notepad.  She turns to Jim.  He looks at the menu, “Uh, I’ll have the Tuna Melt and a root beer.”  

She writes it down and says, “Okay, those will be coming right up.”  

Once she walks away, I start giggling.  Jim gives me an amused and confused smile.  “What?”  I can’t stop laughing, but answer his question anyway.

“It looks like Big Tuna does really like tuna.”  Jim rolls his eyes as realization kicks in.

He chuckles, “You’re never gonna let me live that down right Beesly?”  I shake my head and continue to laugh.

Once our laughing dies down I remember another thing I wanted to share with him.  I reach into my purse and pull out a folded piece of paper.  

He looks at me with the beginnings of a smile and a quizzical look.  “What’s this”, he asks with a laugh.

“It’s a Schrute Buck, a motivational tool that is worth a 100th of a cent”, I state simply.  He snorts out a laugh and practically spits out the water he was drinking.

“Okay, why the heck did I apply for the job at corporate?  I missed all this!”  An uncomfortable silence follows.  I look at the table to avoid his eyes.  We have only talked about comfortable topics so far.  There is still the elephant in the room that is called Roy-Karen-Not-Being-A Good-Friend.

Jim touches my hand.  I look up, feeling the course of electricity that is flowing through our joined hands.  “Hey, do you wanna just catch up and laugh like old old times during dinner?  After, we could walk around and go through all the crap”, he softly asks.  I nod.  And from that, dinner goes from eating, to talking about what he did in Stamford, and to funny stories about our pasts.  We were pretty much rekindling our friendships that was so dearly lost since that fateful day in May.

Once we finished our time at the Glider Diner, we went to a park nearby to talk about all the stuff that we have done to hurt each other.  We have been walking for a while, in a comfortable silence, before I start the conversation.  “So… how was your day?”  

I try to get the ball rolling on Karen, but Jim opts to swerve from that for the time being.  “Well, the job we were all interviewing for was Jan’s job.”  Even though I wanted to just get to the confessions and the apologies, I couldn’t resist this.

“Really”, I ask him.

He nods.  “So when Michael told Jan about it, she kinda had a mental breakdown in the lobby.  It didn’t go so well.”  I chuckle, but also look at him intensely.  He puts up his hands in surrender.  “Ok, as you know I broke up with Karen today.  I also withdrew myself from consideration for the corporate job.”

I am unable to stop a small smile creeping upon my face.  Jim looks at me in the eyes.  Those eyes are looking at me with such an intensity that I haven’t seen since the Booze Cruise.  He tilts his head.  He starts to speak softly but with a firm edge.  “God, Pam.  I am so sorry.  I shouldn’t have been with Karen.  She was just a rebound.  I used her and I regret it.  But I regret more for putting you through so much pain this past year.”

I see the sincerity in his eyes, but I can’t stop my emotions from this past year pour out.  “Yeah you put me through hell Halpert.  Do you know what it was like to watch you two all day being intimate and joking around like we used to?  Do you?”  

Jim’s eyes turned to blazing anger.  “To hell I did!  You only had to go through it for 6 months.  Try 3 years!”

We aren’t walking along the path in the park anymore, just staring each other down.  “Oh really?  Roy was in the warehouse, not 10 freakin feet away from me.  And when was the last time you saw Roy and I joke around?  So excuse me!  Don’t you dare tell me that you faced it worse than me!”

Jim looks down at the pavement, hurt by my words.  I suddenly remember the tears in his eyes last May when I said those two awful words.  I know he was hurt just as badly as me, I'm just ranting and pouring out all my anger from the past year.  I step towards Jim.  I take his hand in mine.  “Hey.  Jim, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that.  We both know that we were hurt just as badly as each other.  I am just pushing out all the emotions that I kept hidden from the past 6 months.”

He finally looks up and nods.  I decide to push forward.  “Why didn’t you even say goodbye?  Do you know how much that hurt?”  

He pulls his hands away and scoffs at me.  “Really Pam?  What did you expect?  Hey, I know you just rejected me and left me in tears and all, but wanna hug it out ‘cause I’m leaving?  Like really Pam?  Jesus, do you know what that night meant to me?”

I snap.  “Do you know what it meant to me??  I cried for an hour on your desk after you walked away.  But to walk in that Monday and see your desk completely cleared?  God, you’re so blind if you don’t know what that did to me.  When I saw it and heard about the transfer I sprinted down to the hallway and sobbed.  I sobbed and threw up for the next 45 minutes!  The next two days I had to take off because I was dry heaving constantly!  It was like I couldn’t breathe!”

Jim looks at the ground embarrassed.  He walks toward me.  He takes my hands in his.  He looks at me and softly says, “God, Pam.  I have been such an idiot.  I have made so many mistakes.  I probably don’t even deserve you.  But can you forgive me, please?  I know we still have some stuff to talk about, but I need this to work.  I need you.  I’m still in love with you Pam.  I love you so much.  This has been all my fault.  I’ve been such a jerk to you these past few months.  I shouldn’t have left right away.”

I see the pure look of fear and vulnerability in his eyes, hoping for my answer.  I shake my head.  “No, Jim it's my fault.  I lied to you that night.  If I wasn’t so damn scared that night, we could have had this sooner. I had been waiting for those words from you for a long time, and when you finally said them I froze.  God, I am so sorry.”  I bite my lip in anxiety.

Jim refuses to take my apology.  “No, I have acted horribly this year.  I just ignored you.  I have hurt you a lot.  And I…”.  His lane of thought ends, not knowing what to say in this moment of deep emotion.  A tear rolls down my cheek.

I pull my hands away from his and cup his cheek with my hands.  “I’m sorry too.  We have both made a lot of mistakes.  But we have a chance to make it right.  We have the chance to be happy.  I am truly sorry that it took me so long to tell you, but I’m in love with you.  And I have been for so long.  I love you James Halpert.”  A grin breaks across his face.  Jim cups my cheek along with me.  We stare at each other, caught in an intimate gesture with our cheeks united through our hands.  He leans down towards me.  I lean up.  His lips come crashing down on mine.  It is a firm but tender kiss.  It tastes of tuna and root beer.  It tastes like the month of May.  It tastes like periwinkle dresses and black sweaters.  It tastes like rebut but also hope.  It goes on for a few minutes, but to be honest I lost track of time due to the amazing sensations, so who knows how long it’s been.  I eventually pull away.  We open our eyes and look at each other, shy smiles on both of our faces.

“Wow”, Jim whispers.

I grin.  “Yeah that was something huh?”

Jim takes me hand in his and says, “Let’s get you home Beesly.”  I nod and follow him.

When we get back to my apartment, I look at him and ask him, “So when can we do this again?”

He smiles.  “Tomorrow?”

I grin.  But my grin fades as I think about something that I have been dying to ask him all night.  Jim looks at me with concern.  “Hey, can I ask you something?”  He nods.  “What made you come back?  Why now?”

Jim smiles.  “I saw your note and the medal.  And I almost ran out of the interview right then and there.  Then David asked me where I saw myself in 10 years, and all I could think is that I have to fix us.  Because there is no life in 10 years worth living if it’s without you.”  A tear rolls down my cheek.  Jim brushes it away with a caress of his thumb.  I look up at him and all I could think before he leaned down to kiss me again was that God, I’m in love.