Pam sat looking at the phone. Nervous snakes were slithering and coiling through her stomach. She could not concentrate; her hands kept travelling away from the arm of the chair where the phone lay to pull the hem of her too loose shirt up and twist it around her fingers. She was losing weight, her shirt and pants hung off her noticeably. Jim's advice from last night fluttered through her brain. It's only your parents Pam. Not Roy. It's only your mom and dad.

She dialed.

After an excruciatingly long minute, her dad's cheerful voice was bouncing into the room. Hands fussing anxiously with her shirt again she greeted the man, keeping her voice low and cool.

"Hello Pam. How are you?" William sounded relaxed, this was good. Pam immediately felt her shoulders loosen a little.

"Hi dad. I'm okay. How are you?"

"Me? The air is good up here Pam. You'll see. But how are you? Really?" he asked.

"Is Mom there?"

"Yes she is, do you want her?"

She sighed. "Can you put me on speaker, Dad?"

There was rustling down the line, some mumbling between her parents. "It's the icon that says 'speaker' Dad." she nudged. More back and forth went on in the background.

"Okay, the speaker is on now. What's going on?"

"Hi Mom." Pam said quietly.

"Hello Pam. What's wrong, are you okay?" Pam swallowed dryly at the tone of genuine concern she heard in her mom's voice.

"I just…. I wanna say something to you. I want to be honest -"

"What's the matter, what's wrong?" William repeated.

"Dad – please just let me talk. I want you to hear me out. Please?" she said wearily.

"William." Helene warned.

Pam waited a moment. "I want to tell you, because… I think you should know." she stopped and pulled in a large breath. "I left Roy because he hit me."

"He did what?" Helene's voice went from loving concern to true shock.

Pam recoiled. "Roy hit me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

William cut in loudly. "Pam, are you alright? When did this happen?"

Her parents voices became jumbled and mismatched as both talked over one another at her.

"Mom, dad, please." she pleaded. "I'm okay, at least I think I am."

"When?" William repeated angrily.

Pam closed her eyes. "Four years ago."

Silence from her parents end. She lowered her head, her hands shaking.

"Four years ago?" they were speaking over each other again. Pam cursed at herself. She couldn't get her story straight, her words seemed like they were coming out upside down. She shook her head, trying to clear away the haze she felt.

"The first time." she clarified. "Four years ago, the first time."

"I can't believe this." she could hear her dad's angry footsteps stomping over the floor. "If Roy put his hands on you, Pam, I'm going to see to it that it doesn't happen again." he vowed, his voice growing louder.

"Dad-"

"I'm coming down there, and I'm going to kill him when I see him." he shouted. Pam drew back.

"Dad, please." she pleaded tearfully. "Don't come here, don't do anything. There's a restraining order-"

"A restraining order?" Helene interrupted.

"I have to go to court soon to make it permanent. I'll come and stay with you afterwards."

William responded adamantly. "I'm coming down there, today. I'm coming and I'm going to have it out with Roy."

"Dad, no." Pam begged. "Listen. I didn't want to tell you; I knew how upset you both would be. I knew how you felt about Roy. Please - " she said as her Dad started to object. "Please. Hear me out. This is really hard. Mom, it really sucked that you thought that I left Roy for Jim. It's like you don't even know me. But I can deal with it. It sucks but I can deal with it. Okay? I shouldn't have been with Roy. Should never have been with Roy. I can't change that. But this is the truth and I just want to know that you believe me now."

"Pam." Helene was using her kind, loving 'Mom' voice, the voice that Pam loved best, that as a child would make her feel comforted and happy, like she had been wrapped in a warm blanket just with her words. "Pam. It's not a question. All I want to know is if you are okay. Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine Mom." She lied guiltily.

"Is there anything I can do? Please, let me come over there to see you. I can stay in a hotel or-"

Pam cut her off quickly. "I really want to see you both, too, Mom. But please, please, don't come here. I just need to get the court date out of the way and then I'll see you."

"Are you still at this...Jim's house?" her dad added, still sounding angry.

Pam bit down hard on her lip. "Yes." she said simply.

"Oh, Pam, I just can't believe this. We all liked Roy so much. And the other day he was so upset, threatening to harm himself and I felt sorry for him and all the time it was you he was hurting." Helene began to cry.

Her stomach did a double flip. One the one hand she felt unbelievably relieved to have her mom back, but there she was, the same mom – crying because of her. Pam could never bear to hear her mom cry. She always managed to mess things up, no matter her intentions.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. It's all my fault." she told them.

"It's all Roy's fault." William was outraged. "I treated that man like a son!" there was a loud slapping sound, like he'd banged his palm down on a table or counter.

"Why did you go to Jim? Why didn't you just come here?" Helene said, her voice watery.

Pam thought about it sadly. "Because… because he was there, Mom."

"We're here." her dad grunted.

"That's not what I mean…" Pam's words were getting tangled up again. "Jim got… worried…. and he stepped in and offered me his place to stay if I needed it."

"It must have been terrible with Roy if you had to leave your home." Helene was crying still.

"I'm really sorry Mom. I didn't want to upset you." said Pam, beginning to cry herself. "Uh, I've gotta go now, but I'll call again soon, I promise. Please, please stay home and please don't talk to Roy. If I want this restraining order permanent, we need to leave him alone." Pam added, hoping that would ensure that her parents did not try to contact him, upset as they were.

"I'm so sorry." Helene cried again.

"If you had told us the truth from the start, Pam, then this would have gone a lot differently." William pointed out.

Pam closed her eyes, frowning. "Yeah, Dad, I know." she said with anguish. "I know."

-TO-

Pam paced around the house, not knowing what to do with herself. She found herself glancing at the clock every so often, wishing the day would go away and then Jim would be home from work. Geraldine, the domestic violence advocate came at the agreed hour and sailed off merrily after a few more hours had passed. Pam was worn out completely, with her parents, going through court preparations and other possible avenues of support and help with Geraldine, and then, a mad cleaning spree she had undertaken in hope to pass the time. Eventually she stopped and sat down, having wildly exacerbated the injury to her ribs while vigorously – angrily – vacuuming and scrubbing.

She sat on the couch, thought after thought, memory after memory flying at her like arrows until she felt like every wound was re opened and filled with stinging salt. Without thinking about anything, she got to her feet slowly and went upstairs for a nap.

She stopped outside Jim's door, contemplating. Two and a half hours he finished work yet. Gently pushing the door open wide, she wandered inside. Across the room she stole, like a prowler, and carefully laid herself down on Jim's bed. She curled her knees up to her stomach, ignoring the ache in her side and turned her head into his pillow. Inhaling the comforting, fresh rain aroma that always hung about his person, she let herself drift away into a peaceful slumber.

-TO-

Jim laughed in wonder. "I can't believe you cleaned this place up."

Pam rolled her eyes at him. "Next time I'm bored I'll just play hide and seek with the mess then. All those cans and wrappers, instead of throwing them out I'll make an art project out of it. A diet pepsi robot."

Jim chuckled at her. "Dressed in a yellow shirt of course."

"And glasses."

"And a Bobble head."

"FALSE!" they said in unison. They looked at each other a moment and both burst with laughter.

"Hey," Jim said, abruptly quietening down. "You're giving me ideas, Beesly."

Pam laughed and went into the kitchen for some water.

"Jim," she started, once she had returned and sat down. "I just want to say…. Thanks, again. For letting me stay here and…. Well, everything."

Jim smiled sheepishly. "You don't have to keep saying thanks. It's okay. It's all paid back knowing you're safe." he said simply.

"I just don't want you to think I'm not grateful, because I really am. You're a good guy to know, Halpert." she said honestly.

Jim chose not to reply, only grinning at her and giving her a playful nudge. He lapsed into a deep silence. He was increasingly feeling like a fraud. With all the feelings he had for Pam overwhelming him – how could he possibly tell her without making her feel like he'd done all of this for her with an ulterior motive. Without making her feel like she was worth nothing, that he only helped her because he liked her – more than a friend – no, he didn't want that. He'd genuinely done everything for her to help keep her safe, he had acted with honest intentions, he was sure of that. But would she see it that way? Would she accuse him of lying, if one day she realized how he felt? But how long could he hide it? Again he tried hard to squash his feelings down and carry on acting the fool for her as always. That's what she needed. A good friend.

"Fargo's on." she said.

"Bring it, Beesly." he replied. She grinned back at him. Her skin was waxy and pale; she was exhausted. He wondered if she'd last out the movie.

"Here." he said, leaning down and retrieving a paper bag from the floor next to him.

Pam took it curiously.

"Mixed berry?" she said joyfully, opening the bag. "Jim, you're a saint."

Sadness fell over him, thinking of his inner feelings towards her. He forced a laugh and thought again about how complicated life was.