It’s been quite a night for Toby. He’s riding a buzz from the few drinks he’s imbibed and his handful of Casino Night wins; one in particular plasters a smile on his face: winning the hand against Michael. He’d chased that feeling for the next couple hours and was now leaving just over $200 richer than when he started. That would be some nice fun money for his trip to the beach with Sasha next weekend. He takes the stairs up from the warehouse two at a time up to grab his things before heading out for the night.
As reaches his hand toward the stairwell door and he notices excited voices in the elevator lobby. “Oh, man! I can’t believe Pam actually kissed him back!” At her name, Toby freezes. He hears what appears to be high fives followed by the sounds of Brian and Steve zipping up their gear. What are they talking about? Who did Pam kiss?! Surely they aren’t talking about Roy; that would hardly warrant this kind of excitement. His stomach lurches as he remains hidden behind the wooden door.
“It always the best when people don’t realize the camera and mics are around!”
“Yeah, man! I’m glad it seems it’s all on the table now. It’s been so hard to not tell her what an ass that fiancé of hers is. Sucks that we can’t get even a little involved. She’d have been better off if she’d know how Jim felt about her awhile ago.” Toby’s heart begins to race. Jim?!?
“You see what you wanna see, I guess. I can’t wait to see what’s in that letter!” The elevator dings.
“We’ll just need to get here super early tomorrow to catch Jim’s reaction. I was gonna offer to buy us a round of beers, but I think we’ll need to be on our ‘A’ game in the…” Their voices fade as the elevator doors close and the car begins to make its way back to the lobby below.
Toby remains stunned; hand still on the door nob. He can’t believe what he’d just heard. Pam and Jim kissed?!? I mean, he knew that Jim has some sort of feelings for Pam; anyone that has eyes could see that. But he never would have guessed that Pam was capable of cheating- even if Roy was a prick, at times. Toby knew he’d often put Pam on a pedestal and was now trying to reconcile all this new information with what he’d always believed about her. Having been cheated on by his own wife, he knew the damage infidelity could inflict. For that reason, he’d never be reckless enough to tell Pam of his feelings for her and would never have crossed a line by kissing her while she was engaged to someone else! Not that he’d never imagined it. Oh, how he’d imagined it- more than a few times, to be honest. And his feelings for her had blossomed even more when he saw her interacting with Sasha at the last Bring Your Kid To Work Day. Pam was the woman he would choose to be with, if it was as easy as just choosing.
Toby slowly strolls into the office and finds himself standing in front of Jim’s desk. There sits the letter; unmistakably marked by Pam’s artistic script on the face of the envelope. He feels torn. He has no ill feelings towards Jim; even considers him a friend. Up until now, he’s never looked at him as competition. But, if Pam was capable of feeling something for someone other than Roy… Why couldn’t it have been me? Maybe she just needs to know all of the options in front of her? Maybe if the playing field was leveled, he’d have a chance?
This is ridiculous. I don’t even know what the letter says. Sure, Brian and Steve think it’s hopeful for Jim, but there’s no way they could know! The envelope is sealed. She could be telling him off; that the kiss was a mistake.
The only way he could be sure was to read the letter. Toby looks around and confirms that he is absolutely alone. He picks up the envelope and turns it over in his hands. He toys with the idea of shredding it. A small amount of rationality and reason dawn on him and he quickly sets it back down. He steps back then turns and heads to the annex to grab his things.
As he begins to shut down his computer, a new email pops up from Jan. Clicking it, his confusion grows greater as he reads that Jim has requested a transfer to Dunder Mifflin’s Stamford branch. Jan has just talked with their manager, Josh. All is a go and they would like to move forward very quickly. Jim is to report to Stamford this coming Monday. In the email, Jan asks Toby to tend to the necessary paperwork first thing Friday and get Michael and Jim’s signatures. He quickly responds that he will take care of it and absentmindedly closes his computer down.
His thoughts are quickly bouncing around his mind like the ball in a pinball game. How did this fit with what he’d overheard tonight? Pam kissed him, but he was leaving? Why would he leave unless Pam rejected him? Maybe Brian and Steve missed something. As he considers this, he feels a spark of hope in his chest. If she’s not happy with Roy and is going to leave him anyway... She could be happy with me. Jim’s leaving, but I’m here! Suddenly the playing field seem a lot more even.
As he walks back into the bullpen, the remnants of alcohol in his system clearly doing more of the thinking than the braincells he possesses, he swings towards Jim’s desk. He snatches up the envelope again and before he can change his mind once more, tears through the thick paper to get to the letter inside. His heart is racing. There is no changing his mind now.
Toby laps up the words on the page. His stomach swirls sickly at the intimacy of the confessions Pam has written there. He wars with himself over the belief that he’s violating her privacy and his need to know more. He struggles to keep her upon the gilded pedestal he’s created for her in his mind, even as bile fills his throat at her expressions of love to a man other than her fiancé. Then, he comes to the end- her pleas for Jim’s patience. Her assurance that she just needs time; that she loves him, too. Where Toby previously believed there was no hope because she was marrying Roy, he now understands there is a fragile hope, but one that would never exist with Jim in the picture. Jim- who doesn’t know she’s written the letter; who could not know. He was leaving. Only one workday more. Toby could help Pam pick up the broken pieces once he’d gone. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that no healthy relationship could ever grow from this kind of omission, but at the forefront, all he can think about is the possibility of a chance with Pam. And that’s enough for him.
It’s three large strides to the shredder and then the evidence is gone. The excited buzz he’d chased all night is back. He smiles and whistles to himself as he leaves the office. Tomorrow, he’ll start the paperwork that will bring him closer to a world of possibilities.
