Jim entered his apartment with a little strut in his walk. He hasn’t felt this happy coming back to his place before. This new place of his with one long couch, one small table, one chair and one bedroom. If you don’t look outside the window, you wouldn’t know if it’s Stamford or Scranton. Same emptiness, same silence. The place he barely bothered to furnish because he never unpacked completely. He kept things in boxes still, not sure how long he would be here this time.
He was smiling to himself looking at all the packed clutter which is soon going to be unpacked..well... clutter. He was never an organizer anyway, maybe Pam could help him arrange these things when she’ll come over. Okay Halpert, hold your horses right there, one step at a time..one date at a time. The date he is anticipating is the one he has been praying for an eternity. But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. God knows what happened to him when he read into things way too much, got kicked way too hard...and it hurt way too deep.
He threw his messenger bag on the couch, while his overnight bag landed with a thud, just right by it. He was already moving towards his fridge to take out a beer, to calm his nerves before changing his mind and heading to his bedroom for the change of clothes. He was unsure whether to hop in the shower or first look into fresh clothes to wear for the night and ended up….well lying down in his bed.
His body thanked him with a deep sigh. He was exhausted.
Hell of a Day !!! Saying he had a long day would be the understatement of the century. He drove to New york just last evening, Went around bar hopping in the city with his now ex-girlfriend slash girl who hates his guts, slept with the same girl in another failed attempt to be “not here” , attended interview for a top notch position only to withdraw his name because ..well he’ll know in few hours. Dumped the girl who seemed to be really good for him for the girl who he is going to put everything on line- the third time now. Drove back and asked her out, finally with a yes. Filled with this drug like high since then, without an ounce of alcohol in his system, realizing just now that he is doing this to himself all over again. He has promised himself last year that he won’t let her or her thoughts take away the remaining of his sanity and dignity. He had moved away with the determination that he is going to move on, be happy again and eventually sleep will be his comrade again and food wouldn’t be all dust in his mouth.
He felt the darkness within him, felt many times through those sleepless nights staring at his ceiling. He looked back at his dull ceiling one more time, it didn't look dark but was bathed in the twilight shine of the sun. The sun rays playing through the tree across his window were drawing a magical pattern on the wall reminding him of the artist he knew and...likes. He wonders if she still draws only doodles or does more canvas work with paint brushes behind her ears. She was so excited the day she won that art contest. He was so proud of her and she was so pleased when he told her so. He was sincerely happy for her, joining art classes, winning an art contest and moving on..from ROY. He would have known what her art looks like now if he had gone to that “Art show”. He can’t believe nobody from the office went except Oscar and Michael. How could they do that to her?!? He remembered her inviting them all shyly and with that glimmer in her eyes. The shine only her Art brings in her. It’s not like they had their heart broken too by her by going back to her old ways. It’s not like she made them feel that she would go out with literally anybody, twice with ROY, even flirting with that stupid Ben Franklin but not him. It’s not like everybody had their reason to be mad at her for doing this to him, making him feel like he could never be enough and almost forcing him to ….not like her in those moments. He wanted to be indifferent, not care and just forget about everything until he would see her and God dammit. And she chose Roy over him everytime who didn’t care about her, didn’t let her sign up for that graphic design internship and let her waste her talent in the dead end job.
He remembers seeing her drawing of the office that Michael framed and felt great respect for his boss and deep pride for Pam. It didn't last long because Roy came in just at that moment, who clearly has been to her art show, saw her amazing art and these “thoughtful” gestures which she appeared really happy about and then...he felt something weird. He was glad he did the right thing by not going, scrubbed off all the guilt for not showing up at such an important event of hers, and gave a pat on his back for his “evolving” version. He doubled up his efforts in his facade of a relationship to move on with Karen and was getting stronger..sort of until the night she said..well all that she said. It was not exactly a big declaration of her love for him and he tried to fool himself saying that it’s just their friendship she is referring to but there was a niggling in his head and he knew that it was more than that. And doing that in front of their well meaning but extremely obnoxious office mates was really brave and she did say how she felt no shame. He has to give her credit for that. While he was extremely embarrassed after his private confession slash instant rejection, she seemed content with what she did. Well in his defense, he said way too much and he felt extremely exposed while Pam’s words were veiled with cover of their long lost friendship.
Someday, way ahead in future, he is going to go back to these thoughts and would admit Pam’s speech was as much a moment of love filled confession as in her step towards honesty and courage.
He was already feeling drained with the memories and feelings it evoked in him that he was ready to fall into a restless slumber. He turned to his side, only to have his sight fall on his bedside table where the clock indicated that it’s an hour before his dream date. That thought gave him the second wind he needed. He got up, straight to shower and ready to wash off all the ...unpleasant.
It was 6:30 p.m. when he was out of his door, whistling and making his way to his car. He made a stop to pick a bouquet because who goes on his first fantastic date without flowers for the girl...of his dreams… He checked the map again for Pam’s address which was on the side of the town he hadn't been much before. While driving he observed why, it was a little sketchy area with ..well people on the street who didn't seem like they have a permanent home. They seemed harmless and mostly occupied within themselves but the neighborhood definitely felt a little rowdy compared to his area. He would have definitely nudged her towards a locality like his instead of this one. He wondered why she chose this place, only to answer his question a second later - it must be cheaper. It never occurred to him before that now that Pam is living alone on her receptionist salary, there must be so many choices she had made. He had a hard time moving to Stamford, from living in a hotel for a month before finding a place. He was alone and lonely but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t have the comfort of his earnings. It must have been different for Pam, who hasn’t done this before as far as he remembers.His eyes fell on the vast garden right in her street. It also had a trail for runners and bikers. He made a mental note that it would be perfect for his morning run if he doesn’t wish to run down the streets among the crowds. He laughed at himself how he jumped from worrying over Pam living in a shady street to waking up at her place to find a good trail for running.
He parked his car right at the building with a deep pink door which said 324 in Gold. He took a deep breath, picked up the little bundle of lilies and stood at the main door. It struck him just then that Pam forgot to mention her apartment number. He was contemplating texting or calling her to know he was there when a voice from the intercom startled him “Hey Halpert ! Got a Hot date at apartment no.11?!?!”
He could hear the tease in her voice when his mouth took control on it’s own and he whispered back “The hottest !!”.
She took a moment before responding “Don’t keep her waiting now”.
