Alone.

Her world was quiet. As if she turned off the sound. Yet, she understood without the sound. 

Her eyes opened, and the school nurse was bent next to her. 

Holly and Micheal were across the room, speaking in robot voices, trying to convince Angela to leave. Angela was stiff, her stubborn mind refusing to move. Her father honked the horn, impatiently waiting as Holly went out to inform him it would be a minute.

Every nerve in her screamed to fling herself into motion as she sat up quickly. The nurse frantically pressed on her shoulder, but she resisted the pressure that wanted her to take it slow.

Angela was refusing to budge, claiming as a safety officer she should be present. Once Pam had sprung up, she released a breath she would never tell she was holding. Angela’s eyes met Pam’s, but Pam didn’t let her eyes break it like usual. Pam felt as if she was watching a movie, not truly in her own self. The seconds of connection withheld a pithy conversation. 

For a minute, Pam missed the silence. It was just her. She was living her life in silence. The silence was comfortable but lonely. The connection between two people can strengthen without a spoken word, but it is only tangible when there is a voice. Pam was unsure which was favorable.

Once Angela had the chance, she was at Pam’s right side. Her thin smile showed a sliver of sympathy she worked so hard to constantly cover. The school nurse stood up to walk to Helene who had just entered the classroom. She had whispered something to Angela which was incoherent to Pam. Pam’s mind which was usually constantly spinning seemed to have shut off in the shock of panic. Her thoughts taunted her from a far with the feeling of control. Her frustration built up as her mind oriented itself. 

Angela slowly wrapped her arms around Pam. Angela let her walls fall as she held the sniffling girl, a soft whimper emerging every so often. 

“You’re ok, Pam. You’re going to be ok.” Angela hushed.

Pam wanted to say so much. The tip of her tongue was pressed to the roof of her mouth, but was losing tension. Her whole being was exhausted. She itched to speak.

“You may not realize it, but he’s helped you find those ordinary words and friendships that you deserve.” Angela whispered encouragingly. She felt this was something God would be pleased to see.

Angela was a traditional, conformist girl who threw herself into schoolwork. Though she would never speak it aloud, she could see the constant pressure Pam forced upon herself. 

The freeze response that usually gripped her throat that was carefully thawed by Jim was pierced as if an ice skate had finally broken the ice and sent a plunge of courage in the stinging, tingling water. 

Her mouth was dry and her mind felt numb from the ice. She carefully pulled away from Angela. Angela gave her a frustrated, disappointed look but Pam could see the flicker of sympathy.

Dwight clumsily sat next to Angela.

“I don’t know, Pam. He was pretty ordinary,” Dwight said, lightening the mood of the others while taking himself completely seriously, “He can’t even plant beets.”

Apparently Angela was taking him seriously as well, “Yeah, he’s right all he did was blabber about boring things. God should remind him to only speak of the gospel.”

Pam could almost imagine Jim impersonating this situation now. Although he did ordinary things such as speak, they were beautiful to Pam. They could move mountains.