When Pam awoke the next morning, she was greeted with an unusual silence. Pulling her comforter back, she padded across the cold hardwood floor to her bedroom window and pulled back the heavy floor length curtain. Immediately, an unexpected brightness caused Pam to wince her eyes shut. As she slowly adjusted to the light, she looked out the window. "Oh no," she groaned, seeing the three feet of snow covering her street. She peered on her tiptoes to look for her car. "Fuck," she whispered when she saw not only was it buried up to the windows, but there was also an abandoned car in the street blocking her in. 

After calling her mom to let her know that she wouldn't be able to make the drive, Pam decided to head out to the store for some food now that she was going to be at home for the weekend. She grabbed a couple of bottles of wine, a chicken to roast, some yoghurt, a loaf of bread, milk, some sliced cheese, and a large box of chocolates that would see her through to Monday. Once she had all her groceries packed into two paper bags, Pam braced herself for the short walk back to her apartment. The snow had really picked up while she'd been in the store and the wind caused it to whip around her. For most of the walk back, Pam kept her head down, battling against the bite of the snow that was flying in her face. It was only as she reached her apartment that she realised there was someone knocking on her door. She walked closer, the person barely visible in the snowstorm, wondering what they wanted, until she realised who it was. 

Jim.

"Jim," she said quietly so as not to startle him, but the wind was too strong and her voice was lost in the air. "Jim," she shouted, causing him to finally turn around.

"Hey!" he yelled back as he turned round.

"What are you doing here?" 

"Huh?" Jim asked, unable to hear what Pam had said. 

"Hold this," she said, thrusting out one of the paper bags to Jim. She wasn't sure if he could hear her, but he took the bag and tucked it under his arm. Pam rooted around in her purse until she finally found her key and awkwardly tried to shuffle past Jim to open the door. She managed to find the lock and pushed the door open. As soon as she was inside, she motioned for him to come in.

"Thanks," he said as Pam closed the door behind him. "Wow, it's really coming down out there, huh?" He stood on her mat and brushed the snow off of his shoulders as a small puddle formed at his feet. "Sorry about that," he said a little bashfully.

What's he doing here? her mind screamed, but outwardly she tried to play it cool, if not a little nervously. "Don't worry." She paused for a second, unsure of what to say. "Do you, uh, want a drink or anything. You know, to warm up." 

"Sounds great, thanks," he smiled as he handed over the bag that he had been holding.

"Tea? Cocoa?" Pam asked over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen. 

"Whatever you're having," he replied, shrugging his coat off and putting it on the back on one of Pam's kitchen chairs. 

Pam set about making two mugs of hot chocolate as Jim awkwardly hovered by the breakfast bar, watching her. As she putzed about the kitchen, she tried not to stare at Jim in his red and black checkered flannel shirt and jeans that fit him just perfectly, wondering what he was doing at her apartment. "Oh, Merry Christmas," she laughed, completely forgetting that she hadn't said it to him yet.

"Merry Christmas," he smiled back at her as he took a seat at the breakfast bar and watched her stirring the pot of hot chocolate. 

Pam could feel his eyes boring into her and started getting nervous. Why is he here? she wondered again. "Not that it's not great to see you, especially as I'm obviously spending the day alone, and not with my parents because of the stupid snow, but, um, how come you're here?" 

Jim was caught off guard slightly, as if he wasn't expecting her to ask that. "Uh," he cleared his throat, "I was thinking more about those turtle doves and how it seems kinda crazy to split the two of them up." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a second dove ornament that matched the one he'd given Pam a few days earlier. "And I know the movie says you should give one away, but I thought they should be together," he said with a shrug as he handed over the ornament to Pam.  

She looked at it, but not in the same way as she had done when he'd given her the first one. What was he trying to say? That she wasn't the special friend he'd suggested she was and it really was just two turtle doves? "Oh, uh, thanks," she said as she took the bird, her cheeks a little pink. She quickly looked down at the saucepan and saw that it was about to bubble and so she turned the gas off. "I'll, um, just go hang it," she said, walking out of the kitchen.  

Pam nestled the ornament on the branch next to the other turtle dove, so that their wings were slightly overlapping and took a step back to look at them. "Looks good," Jim said from behind her with his hands shoved into his pockets. "And they look pretty cute," he said with a nod of his head towards the gingerbread man ornaments. 

"Yeah," she replied shyly. "We should, uh, the hot cocoa is ready," she said, gesturing towards the kitchen with her thumb. This is so awkward, Pam thought as she led Jim out of the living room. What now? We've got to get through a whole drink now. Why didn't he say no when I offered? Surely he wants to get back to Karen now that he's got rid of that stupid bird. They walked back into the kitchen and Pam poured out the drinks and added some marshmallows, with neither of them saying a word. They were silent until Pam finally broke the tension. "So, um, are you feeling better?" 

"Huh?" Jim asked, a little confused, as he ran his hand through his hair, which was still a little damp from the snow. "Oh, uh, the voicemails. Um, yeah, I'm all ok."

"How's Karen doing?" she asked before she could stop herself as she handed Jim his mug of hot cocoa across the breakfast bar.

He took the mug with a small smile and then took a sip. He clutched the mug between his hands and was silent for a second, before he looked at Pam. "We, uh, we broke up." 

"Oh," Pam said quietly. Her eyes darted around the room, as she tried to stop clenching her jaw in excitement. Oh my god!! she screamed internally. They broke up? Why? What happened? Can I ask? Oh my god! "I'm sorry," she finally settled on. Shit, why did I say that? I'm not sorry in the slightest. Jim didn't say anything, and instead just took another sip. "What, um, what happened?"

He put the mug down and slowly looked up at her. "You," he said simply. 

Pam sucked in a quick breath as though she'd been punched in the stomach. "Me?" 

"Yeah, you. It's always been you. Why I left Scranton. Before I left Scranton. Since I've come back. You've always been everything." 

"But you've hardly spoken to me since you've come back," she blurted out. 

"I know, and I'm so sorry about that I can't even begin to tell you. But just," he sighed, "this last week. I just couldn't pretend anymore."

"Pretend what?" she asked, her heartbeat racing a thousand miles a minute. 

"Remember when we were at the Christmas tree farm?" he asked, and Pam nodded. "When I went back to help my dad with their tree he told me off."

"Why?" 

He let out a breath. "Because they thought you were Karen." 

"What?" Pam asked, so confused. 

"They'd seen us walking around talking and joking, and they wanted to meet you," he replied, before taking another sip. "And they were mad I didn't bring you over and introduce you." 

"But I don't get why they thought I was Karen," she said, still so confused as to what Jim was talking about. 

"Because they could see how in love with you I was," he said, looking her directly in the eye. "Even from just the few minutes they saw us, and from a distance. My dad said he's never seen me look so happy before, apart from when I was talking, as he put it ‘about that Pam girl from work'." Pam blushed and had to look down at the floor at that revelation. "So yeah, they assumed you were Karen, because how could I be having such a good time with someone and they not be my girlfriend?" He shrugged and took another sip. 

Pam wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry," she eventually mumbled.

"Don't be," Jim said, shaking his head. "I had such a good time that night. The best time I'd had since, god I don't even know since when. Maybe since when we went ice skating on Michael's birthday." Pam smiled at the memory. "And then the market, and the Christmas lights. It's just been," he paused, "it's been amazing. Like how it used to be." 

"Yeah," Pam almost whispered, trying not to cry. Things between them really felt like the way they were, before she had broken his heart and he'd run away to Stamford.

Jim was silent again and Pam couldn't bring herself to say anything. "So yeah, I couldn't do it anymore," he finally said. Pam furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I couldn't pretend that I'm not in love with you. It wasn't fair to Karen. I tried, I really did. Back in Stamford, I tried to get over you. But every prank I pulled, all I could think about was you. And all the time I spent with her, I was just kinda forcing myself to have a good time and not think about you. And it just got harder when I came back home and you were just, you were just there all the time. Even when you weren't. All I could see was you." He took a breath and wiped his hand over his face. "I don't think I'd ever had even an ounce of the fun that we've had, with her. And I guess I'd just rather be alone, than with someone and just thinking about you." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a small voice. 

"What? That I was in love with you?" he scoffed. "Yeah, because that went so well last time," he said with a roll of his eyes. He noticed how hurt Pam looked. "Sorry," he sighed, "I mean, I guess I tried with the mix tape and the dove and stuff. And then I realised how I was just falling into the same trap again as before I left and I couldn't do it anymore. And then it hit me. I was trying to win you over, again, except this time I had a girlfriend and that made me an even bigger asshole," he said with a bitter laugh.

"You're not an asshole," Pam said softly, trying to convey that she really believed that with her eyes.

Jim just scoffed again. "I made that tape while Karen was out Christmas shopping, and hid it in my work bag so she wouldn't see it. But it wasn't until I gave it to you and you looked so shocked, that I really realised what I was doing. So the next day I broke up with her, which is why we called in sick as we just argued all day. And I just couldn't face her the next day." 

"But why didn't you reply to my message about the prank until last night?" 

"My head was all over the place, I just needed some space from everyone. I guess that's why I pulled that prank, just something to stop all the thinking," he said, looking down into the remnants of the hot cocoa at the bottom of his mug. He looked back up to Pam. "I guess I should probably go. Sorry I unloaded all of that on you, I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to," he sighed, "I'm not even sure what I wanted. I'm sorry I've dragged your Christmas down." 

Pam looked down at the counter, not entirely sure what to say, when suddenly she walked out of the kitchen. "Pam," Jim shouted down her hallway, but she didn't stop. Instead, she shoved her feet into a pair of her shoes, grabbed her coat and opened the front door. "Pam!" he shouted again, running down the hallway after her. He peered outside the front door that she'd left open but the snow was still so thick he couldn't really see her. He grabbed his shoes and was hopping around trying to get one on, when suddenly the door slammed shut and Pam was thrusting something into his face.

"Here," she said, covered in snow, holding out the letter to Santa that she'd written the previous evening.

Jim put his shoe down and took the envelope, eyebrows furrowing at the fact it was addressed to Santa. He slipped his finger under the white triangle, ripping the paper and then pulled the letter out. His eyes darted across the page as he took in Pam's cursive writing. She stood there chewing on her thumb nail as Jim just continued to stare at her letter to Santa. Finally, after what seemed like hours to Pam, he looked at her. "I'm really sorry Pam," he said softly, "I don't think Santa can give you what you want for Christmas."  

Pam looked like she was about to cry. "Oh, ok." She tried to take the letter back from Jim but he pulled his hand back.

"I mean, I can't love you again, because I never stopped," he said with a lopsided smile.

Pam immediately lunged at Jim, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down so she could kiss him. Her cold lips met his warm ones and she knew she was home. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him, not caring that she was wet from the snow. "I love you," she whispered against his lips. 

"You have no idea how much I love you," he replied as he pulled back slightly to look at her. He dropped his head to her shoulder, his face covered in her wet hair, and held her tighter as if he never wanted to let her go. 

Eventually, Pm tiptoed up to place a chaste kiss on Jim's lips. "Do you want to maybe stay here for a little bit? Or do you need to get back to your parents?"

"I'm pretty sure absolutely no one is going to miss me, there must be like thirty people in my parents house," he laughed as he pushed her damp hair behind her ear and then bent down to kiss her. "And plus, I bet you need some help finishing off that bucket list," he beamed at her. 

"Actually, I crossed the last thing off the list last night." 

"Oh yeah?" he asked, and Pam nodded. "Well that sucks," he laughed. "So did you end up finding a favourite Christmas song?" 

Pam nodded as she slipped her shoes off and took her coat off. "Come here," she said, holding her hand out to lead him into the living room. She walked over to her stereo and slipped the mix tape into the cassette player. She hit play for a second, before rewinding, causing the tape to let out a squeal. After a few seconds, she pressed play and finally the song started. She turned around and looked at Jim, standing in the middle of her living, with a huge smile on her face. She walked over to him as ‘A Long December' started playing around them. Jim took one of her hands in his, and snaked the other around her back to pull her close to him. She rested her cheek against his chest as they slowly began to sway to the music, staring at the Christmas tree. Jim was right, the two turtle doves definitely belonged together. As they listened to the lyrics, Jim kissed the top of her head. Pam smiled into his checkered shirt when she heard the line about this year being better than the last, and knew that it was absolutely going to be the best year she'd ever had.  

"So, is there a New Year's Eve bucket list?" he asked, peering down at her.

The new sequin dress and outrageously high heels sitting unworn in her closet flashed through Pam's mind, as well as about fifty things she'd love to do with Jim on New Year's Eve. "I'm sure we could make one just for us," she smiled up at him.