"Is it on?" Pam asked, smoothing her hands over her denim clad knees.

Jim glanced up at her in exasperation, as he crouched behind the video camera. "Well Pam, seeing as this camera and I have gotten so well acquainted over the past year....and especially today," he said squinting.  "Yeah...I'm pretty sure I got it."

"I know...but you don't usually use the tripod..."

"Which makes it infinitely more difficult...yes."

"Ok so you want her to hear us fighting?"

"It's on standby....and now it's not....plus, she hears it all the time."

"Just...sit..."

Jim came jogging towards the couch and took the seat next to his wife. "Ok..."

Pam glanced at him, smiled, and then looked back at the camera. Her fingers picked something off of his jeans. "Ok."

"We're on camera like all day long and now suddenly....we're speechless."

"I know, right..." Pam said giggling.

"It's because we're uninspired."

"Yeah," Pam said turning back to the camera, her face void of expression. "It's because we're completely uninspired by your first birthday."

"Wow," Jim said shaking his head and gazing at the camera. "Your mother is...wow. I'm sorry Jill, but she. Is. Horrible."

Pam shrugged, but broke into a smile because she couldn't not smile.  "You turned one today."

Jim nodded and folded his hands in his lap, looking down.  Feeling oddly...sheepish as Pam continued to talk to their child through the video camera.

"And...it's really, really crazy," She added then. "We can't really believe it....Right?"

"Well...we can, considering we had liiiiike 50 thousand people here," Jim said looking up suddenly. "Yes in this apartment," he said gesturing to the living room around them, the kitchen to the side of them.  The bedroom behind.  Small, small...and small.

"It wasn't that many."

"It totally was......all for you Jill - who won't remember it - at all."

"Don't even start," Pam said on a sigh.

"Which is a good thing," Jim said, licking his lips.  "Because then maybe you can remain untraumatized by Michael's karaoke, Dwight's creepy kids stories -

"His stirring rendition of Angel Baby on the recorder!" Pam piped in, holding up a finger.

"Thank you...yes. And Toby reading what some might...nay, what all would call a very creepy letter."

"It wasn't that bad."

"All except for your mother........I'm sorry. Do we have the letter here, Pam?" Jim said holding out his hand.

Pam startled to giggle as she handed it to Jim.  "Yes...and it's all your fault," she said, barely getting the words out between her short gasps of breath. "You're the one who made them compete for the title of Godfather."

"Yes, Pam....I did make them compete, because competition is healthy and Jill can't go around with just anybody as a Godfather...but I did not expect this," he said unfolding the letter.  He turned to face the camera. "Jill...you'll see a lovely abridged version of the competition during your party footage...But for now, I'll read this letter, so you can understand how creepy he is."

"It's not that bad," Pam said again.

Jim cleared his throat. "Dear Jill...I just want you to know that if chosen to be your Godfather, I would take my position very seriously," Jim looked up at the camera for a moment and shook his head.  Then he continued reading.  "If for instance something ever happened to either your mommy or your daddy...If Jim got hit by a car or if he got...prostate cancer....or...was involved in a freak mountain biking accident -

Pam began to giggle in earnest then, falling over on the couch and out of the camera range.

"Wow....so happy your amused," Jim said, his voice emerging in hoarse amusement as well. He looked back at the letter. "That about sums it up Jill...Toby wants me dead."

"Oh my God..." Pam said, panting. Still in hysterics.

"Mommy thinks it's funny because she wasn't the one cut down in the freak mountain biking accident."

"I don't go riding..." Pam barely managed.

Jim shook his head. "So not the point."

Pam sat up, trying to pull herself together as she leaned her head on Jim's shoulder, out of breath.  "It's not freaking funny."

Jim chuckled. "Speaking of that...You should know - that Andy was disqualified from the competition."

"He threw a piece of cake at Dwight," Pam added, dashing tears away from the corners of her eyes as she finally calmed down, looking back at the camera.

"And so he was summarily dismissed," Jim said shaking his head.

"It was sad."

"It was Pam, it was....but it's...It had to be done. He's on strict orders not to show any aggression."

Pam nodded. "I thought he was going to hit you when you said he was out of the competition."

"I thought so too.  Can you imagine?" Jim said smiling. "He could have knocked me out cold and then Toby could have buried my body outside somewhere...maybe under the rose bushes."

"Why are we talking about this on our daughter's first birthday video?"

"Listen...this is what she gets until she stops being lazy and starts talking on her own.  Then she can do her own talking heads...until then..."

Pam shrugged. "Sorry Jill."

"So after Michael sang virtually every song with the word baby in the title -

"Baby Got Back," Pam supplied.

"But of course," Jim said nodding.

"Baby, Baby,"

"Subtle," Jim said nodding.

"Baby, Baby, Baby."

"Also subtle...but different genre - nice."

"Baby Come To Me,"

"A duet...which Kelly sang with him."

"It was sweet."

"Yes it was."

"And finally, Baby Hold On To Me."

"A little Eddie Money to round out the afternoon."

"So you might be wondering who won the competition," Pam said glancing back at the camera after their diatribe.

"Well...she's going to see the video of the actual party, Pam...so...

"So suck it."

Jim leaned back and did a palms up for the camera, pulling his mouth to one side in disbelief. 

"We decided," Pam said grinning at Jim. "To allow Michael, Toby, and Dwight to be your honorary Godfathers."

"Honorary," Jim said again.

"Which means that your uncle John is really your Godfather," Pam explained. "But if they ever ask you...they are absolutely your Godfathers."

"Except for they're not," Jim said again.

"Right."

"Also..." Jim began. "We're apparently going to discuss allowing Andy to compete again next year because Mommy feels bad about kicking him out of the competition."

Pam shrugged. "I just think it's something that needs to be revisited."

Jim shook his head.

"But for now it's really cool," Pam added. "Because Michael thinks that he and Dwight and Toby are like the three wise men...he likened his brining you a new stuffed animal to bringing frankincense."

"Which...you know..." Jim said as Pam laughed. "Is very, very similar."

"So that was kind of your party in a nutshell," Pam said then.

Jim shook his head, and pulled back. Look at Pam in wonder. "Wow...one year."

Pam nodded, her eyes instantly misted up.

"Oh," Jim said pulling Pam towards him, his arm around her as her head fell to his shoulder.  He pressed a kiss to her forehead.  Leaving his mouth there, he said against her skin, "What else do we want to say?"

"Um..." Pam said sniffling as she sat up. "Just that...it's been a really great year."

"Yeah," Jim said gazing at Pam. It had been crazy.  Work, school, baby, a still relatively new marriage...crazy.  "Really great."

"We love you."

"And we thought it'd be really great to videotape ourselves talking about your first birthday...since...you know, it could be like the bonus material at like...Target one day."

"Oh totally," Pam said laughing. "Because people are going to buy a documentary."

"Pam...our courtship was absolutely compelling."

"Courtship?"  Pam repeated, grinning widely.

"Stop."

"Is that what you call it?"

"Shut up...This is like a touching moment and you -

"You're the one who started talking about marketing this video. How is that touch -

Jill's cries interrupted Pam's words. She and Jim both looked at one another.  Jim smiled and gestured behind them, their conversation forgotten.

"So that's you," he said when he turned back to the camera.

"You've got good lungs," Pam said with a smile. "Ok," she said looking at Jim then.

Without another word, he got up and turned off the camera.

*******

Pam leaned against Jim as they stood over Jill's crib, whispering to one another after they got her back to sleep. 

Jim zoomed in with the camera, focusing on Jill.  "That's a lot of bling for a baby."

Pam buried her face in his shoulder to stifle her laughter. "Kelly got you a tiara for your birthday...and you kind of took a liking to it..."

"Scary," Jim whispered.

After a moment filled with only the sounds of crickets outside, he spoke again. "We decided to omit your earlier indiscretion."

"Yes," Pam began and Jim focused the camera on his wife for a moment, the evening moonlight filtered in through the curtains behind her.  "We felt the crying was very unbecoming....you know - with the crown," Pam added. "But...as you can see...you're perfect."

Jim panned the camera back over to a peaceful Jill. Still in her perfectly pink party dress, she lay on her belly with her arms sprawled out to either side, and her legs slack in a frog-like position.  Her tiara was only slightly askew...

Behind the camera, Jim agreed, "Perfect."