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Brokenloon thanks for being an awesome beta!

Let's just get one thing straight from the beginning. I'm not a peeping Tom or some sort of strange voyeur.  All I know is that when the family next door moved in I started opening my bedroom window a little bit more, letting the air in.  I swear to you, it's not anything gross.  I just liked hearing them.  They were always laughing...and also they had really great taste in music so there was that reason too.

If anything you'll totally feel sorry for me.  I have a family of my own - not that kind. I have a mom and a dad and a little brother. But for me, when I hear them in that little house next door I want to be like them.  I close my eyes and think about how one day maybe my own life will work out that way.

If I just watch their steps and listen to their words...maybe.

When I see him working in the front yard and he grins at me and....ok - let me break away for a moment and cop to the fact that I sort of have a deliriously mad crush on him that's...well evident. I'm not like this cool teenager and I'm probably pretty obvious about it, the way I'm always tripping over myself when he says "Mornin'...and he hasn't combed his hair yet but he's getting the paper. I usually just bite my lip and nod.  He probably thinks I'm mute or something.

Ok...whatever. He's nice in totally genuine, not creepy at all kind of way and sometimes maybe I fantasize that he is a little creepy.  But mostly I do my best not to fantasize like that because well...she's really lovely too.

My grandmother uses that word, lovely. No one I know uses it, but if anyone could be called lovely it's Pam Halpert from next door.  I see her outside sometimes in the yard or in her studio...and I think it's so cool that she has a studio for a garage. 

She's talked to me a few times about things she's painting and she's asked me if I have a boyfriend and what his name is.  She smiles at me and blushes like I'm her little sister and I kind of like that.  Even though I've almost slipped a time or to and said ‘Oh, my boyfriend? You mean my real one or my fantasy one? Because to be quite honest with you, your husband is hotter than Hades.' 

But I haven't done that.  My name is Lauren-Elisabeth and I'm not a slut

Once I started telling her about this guy that I liked and how sometimes he paid attention to me and was really, really nice but, how sometimes he was mean to me in front of his friends. Pam told me not to put up with that. I deserved better. She told me sometimes great things happened when you least expected it...to just wait for it and to keep my eyes open. She stressed the words, "Keep your eyes open."

I kind of wanted to ask her how they met, but I didn't.  Maybe I could ask her when they'd been living here for longer.  Instead I just nodded and bit the inside of my lip...wondering about their story while the sunlight glinted off her hair.

She was pretty; one of those ladies who managed to be cute even in an old t-shirt and sweatpants.  I wondered sometimes if maybe we could go shopping...or something.

Their daughter Jill is very sweet and she makes me laugh like every time I see her.  If she sees me in my front yard, she always comes over to show me something or lately to talk to me about her dog, Foxy.

Foxy, because she swears he looks like a Fox (to which Jim shakes his head behind her on the porch and makes a motion towards his mouth like his 3-year-old has been hitting the sauce again).  I smile at that and try hard not to focus too much on him because he's just...God. 

Jill's explained how Foxy got his name to me like about a million times, but I pretend to hear it for the first time every time...and I think maybe she's starting to convince me that the dog actually looks like a fox.  Maybe it's because she changes the story just slightly every time.  Like she's figuring out what it will take to make me see it.

It strikes me that little kids are kind of like old people when they tell stories. They just tell you the same things over and over.  It makes me smile. I'm not as impatient with her as I can sometimes be with my friends

I remember the week before they brought Foxy home from the pound. They actually had a fight. Sometimes I thought they never fought.  They were always smiling at each other and touching - not like that. Just these little brushes against one another; like his fingertips were always at her side when he talked to her; if he came outside to bring her the phone while she worked in the garage, or sometimes when they sat on the lawn in beach chairs they'd hold hands, or she'd slip her hand into his back pocket when he stood next to her, or he'd be brushing the hair out of her eyes while they talked on a breezy day...

It made me think that maybe that's how people should touch more often...it made me sigh from somewhere deep inside.

But there was this one night when they fought and God help me I was sort of mesmerized so I got as close to my bedroom window as possible and listened.  I could only hear snippets, but her voice was tense. Really tense.

"If she wants a dog, I don't see why we can't just get her a dog...We told her when we moved here that we'd get her a dog."

"Pam...I'm not saying that we can't get a dog...I just...I thought we talked about wanting to wait until..."

"I don't really want to talk about this right now."

"I know that...I just think...I just thought we'd come to a decision, that's all...... I don't really care if we get a dog."

"Ok, then. Why are we even......I mean don't you think it might be awhile? The doctor said it might be awhile. I'm not going to just put something off that she wants because I can't seem to get it right..."

"Hey..."

I'd backed away from the window then because I was hearing things I shouldn't.  I didn't want to look at Pam and Jim and know that.  And I didn't want to feel scared for them...or for me.

So I started doing other things, like maybe...I don't know...like maybe I could help. I offered to baby sit Jill if they wanted and they took me up on my offer one Saturday night. 

I stood in their kitchen watching Pam slip a pair of glossy black heels on in the hallway and then haphazardly and nervously point me in the direction of this funny little list that they had on their fridge. There was a circle over a brand new picture of Jill, smiling big and wide for the camera with a big red slash through her face.

I didn't ask.

"There are some really silly things on here...don't...Anyway," Pam said grinning at me and blushing. "I have some nuggets for her in the fridge they're already cut up and also some Macane - Mac and Cheese...If she wants dessert there's a bit of fro-yo in the freezer...it's in the Dora cup...Sometimes she doesn't eat all of it - that's ok."

He came flying through the kitchen just then, pulling on his jacket. He dropped a kiss on Pam's head as she straightened. "Beesly, I'm pretty sure Lauren can figure this all out...we're gonna miss the movie."

She rolled her eyes. "Sorry...we haven't seen a movie in like....4 months."

"Eight!" He called from somewhere near the front door. "DVDs don't count!"

I smiled and Pam grinned widely and whispered to me. "It has been awhile. Jill's grandmothers are great but they usually only babysit during the day...thank you so much for doing this...you don't even know..." she said drifting off for a second. "Do you want cash or an iTunes card or..."

"Oh...no..." I said nervously. "I don't really...I mean it's fine."

She made a face. "Oh come on -

"We'll just give her cash, Bees...come on!" Jim called.

"Here's the deal," Pam rambled on quietly to me. "I'll get to the front door and he still won't even have his shoes on...that's the way it goes...so the longer I stand here and talk to you the higher the likelihood that he'll actually be ready to go."

I smiled again because they were perfect and I sort of wanted them to adopt me.  Hmm...that actually didn't jibe well with my thoughts about Jim though...

"My number and Jim's number are on the fridge -

"I programmed them into my cell already."

"Awesome."

I got a little distracted then because Jill was in the next room suddenly giggling uncontrollably, and squealing something about a Kissing Monster. I heard all these crazy loud kissing sounds and I knew it was Jim saying goodbye.

Pam kept talking.  Of course Jim kissing them both into oblivion was just commonplace.

"And all of Jill's emergency information is written just under the cell numbers.  We'll  both have our phones on...her movie should be finishing in about 15 minutes so I'd just give her dinner and she'll probably want you to read her a story...play Baby Dolls with her...she'll want to show you one of her collections...I think this week it's rocks - she's kind of a one woman traveling show...oh, and then in 2 hours just put her in bed, read another story, and flip the butterfly night light on...she might give you some lip about going to bed -

Jim stuck his head in the kitchen then and was tugging his baseball cap down over his brow....Lord.

Ok...so I didn't want them to adopt me...like at all.

"Pam...I really, really love you...but if you don't hurry up..."

"Ok, ok..." she said then grabbing her purse from the island. "See you letter Lore." She ran quickly into the living room and Jill said something about her Mommy's pretty shoes to which Pam promised her to let her wear them later, "If you're very, very good for Lauren-Elisabeth." 

Then Pam was running towards the door again, her hair done in obvious, ‘date curls.'

"Lock the door behind us," Jim said - his only bit of advice as he shut the door after Pam.  

"See you," I called softly back. The world around me had gone from an absolute whirlwind to almost completely quiet, accept for Jill singing along with some Disney princess in the living room.  I suddenly felt a little...strange. A little like I was trespassing. I'd been inside their house briefly before to pick up a CD or borrow something for my mom...but I'd never been there without them.  I especially steered clear when ever they had the weird camera crew around. 

I leaned closer to their refrigerator and felt laughter rise inside of me as I read aloud. "No barrettes in Foxy's fur?"

I wandered into the living room and sat down on the carpet next to Jill, with my legs criss-crossed as she finished her video.  Foxy looked up for only a moment before he put his head back on her lap, his fox-like ears pointing straight up.

I watched him, watch her. Humans and canines alike were sort of in love with everything in this house.

My eyes wandered around the room. It seemed like every available surface of the living room was home to a photograph.  There were several of their wedding above the mantel all in black and white...most of them posed with them looking at one another in a way that kinda made your heart hurt.  Then on the bookshelf there was a funny one of Jim in a Sixers T-Shirt looking kinda drunk with and arm slung around someone who could have been his brother but I wasn't sure. 

There were several of Pam too. One with paint on her nose in their garage, one of her with a huge belly standing in what must've been their old apartment next to a Christmas tree. One of them in an old chair, her on his lap. 

All of this did not even include the five dozen shots of Jill.  Jill in a tu-tu, Jill squeezing the life out of Foxy, Jill as a tiny little baby wearing a My Daddy's The Best Daddy T-shirt and a diaper, one of her in a highchair stuffing a handful of cheerios in her mouth with Jim pointing to her and doing one of those faces that sorta made me crazy, one of her in a tiara with a bunch of random people standing around her and a banner that said Happy First Birthday!, One with Jill in Pam's arms while Jim leaned over them in the hospital, and the look on his face......it had to have been the day she was born...

Picture after picture after picture told their story.  Things I'd been too nervous to ask.  Things I knew they'd think were weird questions coming from the kid next door.

There was a sketch in the far corner that I couldn't take my eyes off of...both of their hands I guessed with wedding bands on. Their fingers angled towards one another.

"I like your hair."

The words lifted me out of my reverie and I glanced down at Jill. She was staring up at me as the credits rolled with a smear of red lipstick on her cheek.

"Oh...thanks, Sweetie," I said touching it self-consciously.

"I want my hair to do that."

"If you have barrettes maybe we can do your hair like this after you eat dinner...we'll find some."

She grinned widely.  She looked like her mom when she did that.

She ate her nuggets and "Macanese" and chattered on about how Mommy and Daddy went on a big people's date.  Then she asked me if I went on big people dates and I said "not really," and then she said "her too...and Daddy said not till she's 40," (which sounded like, foh-tee).  Then she suggested that she and I go on a date together like big people.  I asked her what she thought a date was and she said, "You put on fancy shoes and stay up past bed time."

That sounded pretty close to what a date was in my world, so I just nodded and popped one of her nuggets in my mouth.  Then she laughed like I'd just told a really good joke and told me her daddy loved nuggets too but mommy didn't.  Mommy liked peanut butter cups though. Then she laughed again.

It was like she thought her parents were comedians or something.

It was nice because mostly you didn't have to do the talking with Jill because she made the conversation for you.

She didn't fuss too much later when I put her to bed and she told me I was a good girl...which was funny.  I just smiled at her and settled in on the couch downstairs, my eyes drifting shut as I tried to read a romance novel that didn't quite compete with Jim and Pam.

The hours went too fast and before I knew it the sound of their key in the lock woke me.  They were talking and laughing and I kept my eyes shut...just wanting to hear one last little bit...

"Ok...so...this is where I live. Thanks for dropping me off," she was saying through a giggle.

"Seriously? That's it? I was kind of hoping for a little more."

"Wow...really? I don't know what you've heard but I'm not that kind of girl."

"That's really not what I've heard."

He said, "ow" and I figured maybe she'd socked him or pinched him and then I heard like nothing for several minutes. They must've been kissing.  Then she finally said something like, "I guess you can come in," and they did.

I kept my eyes shut as their footsteps neared.  Truth be told, I kept them shut just long enough for Jim to gently touch my shoulder and shake me awake.  I smiled and opened my eyes.

"Oh...oh...Hey guys," I said, hoping I sounded convincing.

"Hey," Pam said leaning slightly into Jim. He smiled down at her. And I knew that in their heads I was already 95% gone.  She tore her eyes away from him for a moment. "How was she?"

"Oh..." I said standing up quickly from the couch. That stupid romance novel fell to the carpet and I felt myself blush to the roots of my hair. I shoved it into my bag and looked up at them. "She was great...perfect."

"No arguments about food or bed time?...We've been working on that."

"No, she was really, really great...She went to bed real easy."

I glanced down for a moment and saw Jim squeeze Pam's hand.  I bit the inside of my lip. It was time for me to go home.

"Ok, well," Pam said. "Thank you again, so so much..." She pulled her purse in front of her and was unzipping it.

"Oh, you know what...really, I don't need anything."

Jim frowned. "Seriously?...No way...We've gotta give you something."

I shook my head and held up hand.  Not sure why I did that.  I could have used the cash but it just felt...I don't know, like maybe they'd already given me something. 

"Seriously you guys.  Have a good night...I gotta get home."

Jim shrugged at Pam and kissed her forehead before he said, "Be back in a minute...don't go anywhere," and followed me to the front door.  I only lived next door, but he saw me out.

Thirty seconds later I was on my porch and I waved goodnight. He called back, "Thanks again!" before I unlocked the door to my house. I heard him shut his door after I shut mine.

So that was the night I babysat for the Halperts. I guess because they were just always really nice to the not so cool girl next door, and were this really nice couple being filmed for some crazy documentary, and they had this daughter who you just kind of wanted to eat up, and they were so, so incredibly in love...I don't know.

They looked really happy the next morning and of course I rolled my eyes a little even though that's kind of what I'd wanted...to make them happy. 

The Halperts were totally hateable...But I loved them.