“What do you mean there’s no ice?” Angela was glaring at Pam and Phyllis.  “How are we going to serve the Christmas punch without ice?”

“It wasn’t on the list.” Pam answered dully, watching as Angela’s right eyebrow rose.

“Oh really?”  She crossed her arms, tilting her head in a perfect gesture of self-righteous indignation. “And you couldn’t have thought to pick some up when you got the cups and plates?”

Pam didn’t bother to answer her, only glanced surreptitiously at her watch. 

Then Phyllis announced, “Bob Vance keeps a fully stocked ice machine.”

She smiled proudly then, thrilled at the realization that Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration would save the day again.  

“I’ll get it.” Pam didn’t wait for Phyllis or Angela to respond, just immediately stood and made her way out of the conference room, thinking she’d enlist Jim’s help, but he wasn’t at his desk.

She smiled as she rode the elevator down to the second floor, wondering why Phyllis still referred to Bob by both his first and last name; she giggled a little at the thought of Phyllis calling him that in bed.

How does that work?  “Oh Bob Vance…yes!”

Her smile froze when she rounded the corner, her steps slowing to a gradual halt as she stood staring in shocked silence for several interminable, painful moments.

Karen was standing on her toes, arms around Jim’s neck, hands in his hair as she kissed him; his arms were all the way around her, one of his palms caressing her shoulder blades, the other resting at the small of her back.  As Pam watched, he gave a gentle push with the hand that lay low on Karen’s back, pulling her closer to him.  She gasped a little against his lips.

Pam knew she should turn away, but she just felt rooted to the spot, unable to move, to breathe. 

And then he’d spotted her, jerking guiltily away from Karen.

She suddenly felt incredibly stupid, knowing she should brush this off, maybe chuckle and offer up a joke, but she was quite literally incapable of it.  Instead, she turned and half stumbled, half ran down the halll, hearing Jim call her name, the image she’d seen flickering in her mind like a fading light bulb.

------

He didn’t think twice before following her, didn’t even pause when he considered the likelihood that this would be it for he and Karen - because after all, how would he explain why Pam had reacted that way – much less why he’d felt compelled to chase after her like a boyfriend who’d been caught cheating?

When he caught up to her, she was standing in front of the elevator doors punching the button impatiently, her cheeks flushed, hand shaking a little.

“Pam.” His voice cracked when he said her name; he tried not to wince when she just shook her head, refusing to look at him.

He wasn’t sure what to say.  I’m sorry…? 

But I don’t have anything to apologize to her for – Karen, on the other hand…. 

But it didn’t matter; Pam’s lip was trembling as she steadfastly refused to look at him, and in that moment, all he wanted was to just make it go away – for her, for himself.

“I’m sorry, Pam.” The words were gruff; he wasn’t sure whether he hated himself for saying them, or whether he should’ve said them on his knees. 

She didn’t look at him. “Why are you apologizing?  You’ve got nothing to apologize for; like I said before, you can do whatever you want.”

For some reason, what she said pissed him off. 

Without even thinking, he asked, his teeth clenched, “Are you serious?  You’re really going to do this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But the tremor in her voice gave her away.

“Really?” There was a thinly veiled challenge in his voice as the anger bubbled up inside him, bringing with it something else…something intense, something bigger than he was. 

He waited when she didn’t answer right away, staring at her profile, his jaw tensed.  In that moment, he couldn’t have done anything other than what he was doing now; something inside him seemed to snap with the realization that he was absolutely incapable of playing the game – her game. 

Not anymore.  

She was obviously uncomfortable with the silence, shifting on her feet as she impatiently pushed the elevator button again.  He felt slightly panicked as he heard the whoosh of air, the pumping of the cables announcing that the elevator would be there in a matter of seconds.

“Pam.” Her name tangled in his throat, caught somewhere between a warning and a plea.  Still she didn’t look at him, didn’t acknowledge that he’d said anything, other than drawing her lips into an even firmer line. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” He asked, the words barely above a whisper.  He knew she’d never back down from a challenge – not even now.

He watched as she swallowed hard before turning her eyes to his, and he was somehow astonished to see the tears standing out in her eyes in spite of the defiant set to her jaw.  All of a sudden, he felt absolutely exhausted, hopeless.

“Tell me why you’re so upset.” His eyes didn’t leave hers, the subtext of his words deafening.

The tension in her brow indicated her inward struggle as she held eye contact with him stubbornly, her expression clearly indicating that she had no intention whatsoever of talking to him…of facing this.

Still.

The ding of the elevator caused them both to start. She immediately stepped inside.

Without thinking, he reached out suddenly, his hand closing over her wrist.  She stared down at it, then slowly, fearfully looked back up at him.

He shook his head at her, then whispered sharply, “I didn’t fucking misinterpret anything.”

He stepped back just before the doors closed, her eyes huge, expression shattered.