Meredith can hold her liquor; if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s being an alcoholic. She hadn’t been that drunk when she’d taken her shirt off in Michael’s office at the Christmas party, exposing breasts that sag a little more than she’d like but a still-thin waist. Hell, after two kids it isn’t bad, not bad at all. And sure, Michael’s an asshole but- he means well.
After two failed marriages, good intentions are almost enough. Lord knows love doesn’t hold it together, not when the boys are screaming and she’s rummaging around in the liquor cabinet again, frantic, promises forgotten. Michael might not be a particularly good role model; hell, her boys would hate him. Still, when she sees how he wants everyone to love him she thinks, at least he’d try, and that’s something more than can be said for her ex-husbands.
***
Creed always takes the redhead up on her offer when she pulls out a flask as she’s pouring the coffee. Sometimes she seems sad; he thinks maybe she chafes at this office as much as he does, the polyester work clothes. Too bad she’d never had the chance to really live in the sixties (although he could be wrong, he’d fucked a girl with red hair after a protest one time). The redhead isn’t much to look at; in that department he prefers the receptionist, but looks aren’t everything. In the sixties, you fucked everyone, pretty or not. Free love.
***
One time Creed totally tried to kiss her, and it was so awful. Kelly had been all, ewww, gross, but only in her head because if she’d said it out loud she might have hurt his feelings. Sure, Creed’s like totally creepy, but he reminds her a bit of her grandfather who like totally isn’t the same anymore because he has something called dementia and that makes her really sad. He just seems really lost, almost like Tom Cruise before he met Katie but not because Tom’s so, so much hotter.
After he tried to kiss her he said, in the sixties, I fought for your rights and Kelly totally didn’t get it, she wasn’t even like born in the sixties. He’s so strange but he does have nice eyes, kind of like Ryan’s when he looks a little baffled because he isn’t quite following what she’s saying about Suri and that always makes her totally want to kiss him. Except she doesn’t want to kiss Creed, because, like, ewww.
***
Ryan likes to think Kelly’s temporary, like this job. And hey, she may not seem like it, but when he finally shuts her up she’s great in bed. Maybe it’s all her talking but she knows what to do with her tongue, and that’s something.
And she’s genuine. He likes that. Everyone else in this office is false, himself included, most of the time. They all know about the Jim and Pam thing but no one says a word, and it’s just so obvious in the awkward pauses. And Kelly? Kelly says what she’s thinking. It may be dull as hell but she says it, and that’s something too.
***
Ryan has a phemomenally nice ass. Not that Michael’s gay or anything. He supports Oscar and what he does to other men, just doesn’t want to do it himself. No thanks. Say women are like hot dogs and men are like tacos, okay, well, it’s okay to like hot dogs and it’s great to like tacos, it’s just that he likes hot dogs. But it’s all delicious. Yummm.
And sure, he likes Ryan’s company but that’s because they’re friends. Best friends. Like he’s friends with Todd Packer. And nothing he and Todd Packer do is gay. Sometimes they pick up women and go back to their hotel room and Todd Packer fucks them both while Michael watches. Sometimes Todd looks over at him and yells, hey, queen, take a look at this, bet you can’t do that. Just two completely heterosexual men having some fun.
***
Jan knows that everyone calls her a frigid bitch behind her back. She does, she knows. If she’d been a man they would admire her, but she’s a woman so they’re intimidated. She ignores it, keeps her head high and her heels sharp, but it gets to her. Suddenly she’s harder, sharper, and there are lines beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Even at home, she can’t rid herself of her relentless business persona. Her husband leaves her, says she’s forgotten how to smile and mean it. It might be true.
And Michael- well, Michael brings out the softer side she’d thought she’d lost. He tells her it’s okay to cry and suddenly it is, for the first time in eight years. Of course, he’s Michael. Lonely to the point of desperation, insensitive, closed-minded, stupid. She could go on.
But he’s the only one that sees her.
***
Jim sees her rush to her car, that night; he’s in the process of rushing to his. He’d say they were in the same situation, but then he’d have to compare Pam to Michael, and wow. Just, no. She passes him and she’s close, close enough that he can smell the smoke from the cigarette she’d smoked earlier, the same smoke still clinging to him. Close enough that Jim could reach out and grab her wrist. He bets that she’s rough, bets she’d leave teeth marks on his shoulder as she straddled his lap. Bets she’d be nothing like Pam.
But Pam is all he wants, all he needs. Which is great, see, because she’d just rejected him. Twice.
***
Jim’s funny. And he notices her. Well, so does every other man in this office, predominantly Andy, but there’s noticing her boobs and then there’s noticing. And with Jim, it’s the latter. When he jokes with her it’s never seedy; if anything, he’s like a ten-year-old boy pulling a girl’s pigtails to get her attention. And Karen? Karen doesn’t mind that, not at all.
“What are you planning, Filipelli?” Jim asks as she begins to roll the squeaky chair away from her desk. “I’m not moving.” Karen grins as she saunters by his desk, adding an extra flash of teeth. She grew up with two older brothers, she can match him prank for prank.
“You’ll see.”
“Nice, Filipelli. Nice,” he says, as she replaces Andy’s chair with her own. “You know this is going to break his heart though, right? The man’s in love with you.”
“Please,” Karen laughs. “Have you heard him sing? He’s gay. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
“Ten bucks says that if you look you’ll find straight porn on his computer.”
“Twenty says that if I do, my brain will explode.”
“Now that is a bet I’m willing to take,” Jim says. Karen raises an eyebrow at him.
“Why don’t I keep the twenty and buy you a drink after work?” she asks casually, brushing her knuckles against his should as she sweeps past him with the chair. He smiles, gives a little nod, makes that face that reminds her once more of a ten-year-old boy, but she likes it. She smiles in return, hopes he’ll keep noticing her.
***
The new girl, Roy thinks she works in sales, she’s hot. Obviously he still wants Pam back. What other girl would cook for his friends every Saturday night, make him soup when he’s sick, put up with his noisy and loud habits. He never realized how good he had it. He’s gone on a few dates and it’s a mess out there these days; girls want drinks and jewellery and shit before they put out.
Still, that new chick, she’s hot. If he wasn’t so determined to get Pam back and all, he’d totally fuck her.
***
Sure, Angela used to think Roy was handsome. Men in uniform are very authoritative. She knows he was living in sin with Pam, but Pam probably coerced him into it, the whore.
But that was before Dwight. Dwight is a good partner, commanding and logical. He doesn’t judge her like the others and he respects her, respects her religion and her resolve. She could never commit adultery, and as her priest teaches, adultery is not limited to touching; it can be found in longing looks, in thoughts. Angela is not an adulterer. Unlike some people she could mention.
***
Toby knows a lot more about his coworkers than he’d care to. They come to him when they’re upset and people reveal a lot about themselves when they’re angry or hurt or disappointed. He knows about Angela and Dwight, for example. Once again, more than he’d care to know, but nevertheless.
Sometimes, when he doesn’t have enough work to distract him, he notices that Angela looks a lot like his ex-wife. She’s almost as uptight even, almost as cold. He hopes she’s happy. Somebody in this office should be.
