Stockings full of coal

Jim’s second year in the office, Michael was his Secret Santa.

By now, he knew to expect the worst from Michael, but he still wasn’t prepared when he tore off the wrapping and found the enormous box of condoms.

“Wow. Um, thanks. This’ll really…” He just couldn’t get out the words come in handy. “I mean, wow.”

Michael laughed uproariously and slapped him on the back. “I thought it was about time you started putting these things to use. I mean, how long has it been for you, like, a year?”

“That’s not really…”

“But don’t you worry, my man, because that’s not all this gift comes with. You’ll get the big surprise when the party really picks up!”

As Jim found out later when the party really “picked up,” the rest of the “gift” was an introduction to Michael’s little cousin Helen.

“And she hasn’t gotten laid in a really long time, either!” Michael announced loudly before leaving them to “get to know each other a little better.”

It was immediately apparent that even though Helen was Michael’s younger cousin, she was still a near decade older than Jim. She also had Michael’s sense of humor and spinach in her teeth the whole night.

She handed him her number before she left, with the disclaimer of, “I don’t know if you’re feeling it like I’m feeling it, but just in case.”

She thought she was winking but she was really just blinking really hard.

The scrap of paper with her number on it went immediately in the garbage, but he actually took the box of condoms home – just in case.

Stockings full of goodies

One year, someone spiked the eggnog at the Christmas party.

It was subtle – it took Jim a few glasses before he realized he was starting to get a buzz. Angela hadn’t realized either, and she was giggling after her two cups of the stuff. He grinned – he’d never seen her smile like that before.

He approached her and reached a hand out to grab her shoulder as she stumbled. “You okay?”

Normally Angela would snap at him if he dared touch her, but she just smiled up at him and said, “I’m fine. Thank you.”

He leaned up against the wall next to her and she did the same by his side.

“You are very tall,” she observed when she looked at him again.

He laughed and took another sip of his eggnog. “Well, no offense, but you’re pretty small.”

She giggled again. “You’re also funny. And you’re a nice boy. I know I don’t… I give you a hard time, but you’re not as corrupt as some of these…”

“Heathens?”

“Yes, the heathens,” she agreed. “You’re different.”

He nodded across the room in the direction of the tree. “It’s a nice party.”

“Yes, it is.” Angela smiled proudly. “Thank you.”

The next day he’d be back to being a heathen and the hangover would make Angela even more crabby than usual, but in that moment, he felt like a tall, nice boy with a new friend.