Karen had braced herself for this. They were going to have a conversation about Jim sometime, and this was as good as any.
“Karen, I guess I should have told you this earlier, but its just such a weird topic to bring up.” Pam fiddled with her necklace nervously.
Okay, this is it, Karen told herself. Pam was going to tell her that she liked Jim, and Karen was going to have to admit that they had been going out for months.
“Roy . . . Roy and I were engaged,” Pam blurted, looking slightly guilty for keeping such a large secret.
“What?!” Karen’s mouth was hanging open. “Are you kidding me?” She gave Pam a playful punch on the arm. The news was shocking, but it was also a huge relief. She had prepared herself for the “Jim” conversation, but she wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. She was happy to put off the topic for another day.
“Tell me everything!” Karen squealed, but immediately felt a little guilty for sounding so fascinated. This wasn’t some celebrity break-up—this was a friend, and this was probably still painful. But Karen was dying for the details. She knew she had just suggested that Pam go on a date with Roy, but she couldn't really think of them as a couple.
“We were just very young when we first got together,” Pam sighed, absentmindedly opening Karen’s refrigerator and bringing out a second bottle of wine. “I think we got engaged, maybe . . . maybe out of habit? Does that make sense?”
Karen fished through her drawer and passed a corkscrew to Pam. “I know what you mean. Like you just thought it was the next thing to do?”
“Exactly. Like I somehow found myself on this path with only one end point, but I couldn't ever remember actually making the choice to get on that path.” Pam gave a relieved smile, pouring two more glasses. “You know, I thought it was what I wanted at the time, but looking back at it, I think I knew. Even when we got engaged, I knew that it was wrong.”
Karen gave her a sympathetic nod as she reached for her glass. As the bottle slowly emptied, Pam opened up about the prolonged engagement, and the fact that Pam never pushed for the date to be set, and that she now realized how that fact said a lot about how both she and Roy felt about their relationship.
The evening drew on, and the conversation turned to Pam’s new single life. She enjoyed living on her own for the first time, and she had started thinking about a career change. She was taking art classes at the University of Scranton, and she was thinking of going back to school for . . . she wasn’t quite sure. But something.
“Have you thought about dating again yet?” Karen asked. As soon as she asked the question, she regretted it, realizing that it had brought the conversation back to a sensitive area.
Perhaps it was the wine, but Karen could swear that she saw Pam blush. She brought her glass to her lips. “Um, no. I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” She placed the back of her hand to her cheek. “Is it warm in here?”
Karen gave a small laugh. “No, I don’t think so,” she said, picking up the empty bottles in front of Pam. “But I think you may have cleaned out my wine cellar.”
Karen gathered the empty glasses and stumbled towards the sink, inciting drunken giggles from Pam. Her laughter turned into hiccups, and she admitted that she probably shouldn't drive home. She called called a cab, and by the time the kitchen was clean, they heard an impatient honk from the street.
Pam grabbed her jacket, but struggled with it. She had her left arm in her sleeve, but couldn’t find her right sleeve. Karen found the entire situation hysterical, and her laughter was soon joined by Pam’s, which compounded her problems with her jacket. As the honking continued, Karen finally got Pam’s arm into her jacket, and zipped her up.
Pam smiled at Karen, and suddenly gave her a warm hug. “Thank you so much.”
“For helping you with your jacket? Don’t worry, I’ve been there before.”
Pam gave another soft laugh. “No, for everything. For tonight. I haven’t really talked to anyone about Roy, and I guess I really needed sort some things out. Talking with you tonight really helped. When I was with Roy, I only had a few friends, and then once Jim left, all of the sudden I didn’t have any close friends to confide in, and then I called the wedding off, and I was all alone. So thank you. Its nice to have a friend again.”
Pam gave Karen another tight hug, and stumbled out the door.
“’Bye.” Karen gave Pam a weak wave as she closed the door behind her. The wine had made her memory fuzzy, but she was sure Pam had just said something about Jim that didn’t make any sense. Why would Jim leaving have had any affect on Pam’s life? She repeated Pam’s slurred words in her mind.
Had they really been good friends? It didn’t seem possible, but the idea of Pam and Roy had seemed impossible before tonight. Maybe she had been misreading the whole situation. If Jim and Pam had been friends at one point, why had they barely said two words to each other over the past three months? She was afraid of the answer.
She knew Pam had a crush on Jim. Was it more? If they had really been friends, was it more than an infatuation? Was Pam in love with him? Pam had never told her why she and Roy had broken up. Pam was stuck in that relationship for ten years. What finally convinced her to leave Roy?
And what about Jim? Why was he so cold to an old friend? Wouldn’t he be happy to see her again when he returned to Scranton? Her stomach began to sink. Had something happened between them before he left? Was that why he left?
The questions were flooding her mind, but she realized that she had no answers. The only thing she knew was that everything she had assumed had been wrong. Her head began to throb. She blamed it on the wine, but she knew that it was more than that.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Another short chapter!
veryangrymidget is the author of 2 other stories.
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