Not for the faint-heartened - extremely dark Jim. Having read a self-help book on "moving on and getting on with your life" Jim Halpert starts a journal to get over Pam.
You wannabe Angela.
Wheeee! Yes, go there.
And you're right - anger isn't easy to write - the pacing has to be right. The pacing on these is good - at the end of each, I nodded and took a deep breath and imagined Jim did the same.
I'm favoriting this in the hope that you'll write another installment. No pressure ;)
8 I really like the accelerating count in the beginning paragraphs, and then the way the count kind of loses control, like a wonky clock.
Pam realizes that for all they had in common they have twice as much in different.
Dark and complicated. I like it.
8 Second drink, Karen!
This seems to lead nicely into next week's episode. Nice Meredith here, too.
9 Gah - this is really atmospheric - you can almost feel the lingering warmth of him. And that even when he's present, he isn't present? Exactly. Karen's in for some pain, I'm afraid.
Nice analogy, Lis!
I may have giggled at the Karen line, just a little.
...all I could do was try to catch my breath.
Poignant. :)
9 Fantastic, mcmuffins! The cottage cheese moment is a really nice revelation.
9 Man! I love how this accelerates!
And brava for noticing their twin "Yes"es. You seriously need to write more!
Post Return. 'Like time machines are real and he just went back a year and things are okay.' 9 ...his ribcage and all that’s inside it.
Oh, unfold, that is gorgeous. And this made me very happy:
...he adjusts his rearview mirror, looks at his reflection, and finally, for the first time, recognizes himself.
9 Love the moment you create in your first paragraph, particularly the light and the snow. Very insular.
7 I just realized I hadn't reviewed this - gah! Sorry! Again - you have a good premise here - I think these two do work well in different time periods because they're basically decent people who care for one another. This is a nice start, and having had a sneak preview of the next chapter, I'm looking forward to your progression!
Yeah, this one's a heartbreaker. It's a nice dimension to add for Jim's character. I also like that Jim the Boss lives with his mother, yet Pam lives alone. I understand why, it's just a nice switch-up.
...in her breathiest voice...
Um, yeah. "Private Eye". You kinkster.
When you were describing her dress, I kept thinking, I hope there's no Angela in this office - oh, wait, it's the 50s - they're all Angela!
At any rate, I like the boldness of Pam here, even if she doesn't really know what the effect is on Jim.
The rain outside is drumming on the roof of her car and she loves it, hates it, doesn’t understand what’s happening but god, it feels good to do something unexpected.8 She almost asks herself what she’s doing but squeezes her eyes against the thought, keeping it back and pushing it down until it’s just a vague pressure behind her heart, which is nothing new and everything she’s used to.
...it’s like a tornado just passed and everyone’s coming out of their houses to peer up at the blue specks of sky peeking through the clouds.
I really like how you describe those two moments. Thanks for this!
8 I like am trying to decide what to write, and considering something innocuous like the bridal shower - a very Pam coping mechanism.
I'd be really interested to know what would be on this day's page if Pam drew something instead of writing.
That is true. I'm projecting alot onto Pam here - she's doing what I'd do.
RE: what she'd draw. Gosh - that would be cool to see. OH! Which reminds me - I wanted to tell you I've got that "standing on ice" phrase I mentioned in my Incubator review swirling in my brain - so you might see that soon. :)
8 At the end of the ep, I thought that if Pam did sleep w/ Roy, she might consider it moving ahead anyway, because she chose to dance w/ him, chose to leave w/ him. Add to that the difference in his behavior + body, and Pam could feel like she really was experiencing something new. That said, I love love love this line:
Even as she takes his hand and steps forward she can feel herself sliding backwards.
Author's Response: True. It's just the way she treated him up to that point that had me thinking that it was more reverting than going forward. That being said I consider any time Pam actually MOVES to be significant. Leaving w/Roy - no matter what that entails - was her making a decision. I don't think she gets enough credit for that. IMO, She spent 10 years in a passive state. This is almost like throwing caution to the wind for her.
WOW. CHATTY TODAY. :) Just wanted to add I am so glad you liked it!
10 Yes! I think Jim would tell Karen that night, without waiting any longer for a reason not to. Perfect scene. This...
...even though he’s pretty sure that this moment right now is supposed to feel like a beginning.
...is killer. Love, love, love your work.
Five Angela Fantasies Toby Has Used; Plus, One Inadvertent One With Dwight
9 Eeee! Five perfectly crafted vignettes - very Toby and very Angela! Love that her forehead smoothes when she works - so in her element - hee. The changes in intonation in #2 + #3? Awesome.
And... um... white stockings in the back seat? Oh, man... I think I just had a little fantasy.
"Question!"
Heh! I'm so gonna be looking for Toby the next time Dwight says that :)
Maybe now that Toby has Hot Gym Girl, he can ask her to recreate some of these!!
Glad you liked them, and thanks for the title!
7 I hope posting was easy for you. When you paste in text from Word, you'll get extra spaces between paragraphs - not sure why, but I go through and delete them manually. Prob'ly shoulda told you that before you posted. :)
Again, cute scene. Nice dialogue - I like that you don't use much attribution ("he said", "she said"). And the end is a nice surprise for folks who didn't catch the "future" tag in your notes.
Nice first fic!
9 So many beautiful phrases in this. Love the relative silence - anticipation, understanding, eggshell-treading.
Gorgeous, unfold, as usual.
9 I love that, depending on when this takes place, Pam could be with either man. Well done. And besides that, a good, awkward scene.
They've been here before. Jim and Pam and their parking lot stuff. 9 I'd say that this would make a wonderful non-dialogue piece, but the words you're given them are spot on. Please, please, please, let the season end with that all-over-the-face kiss.
Please.
9 Yup, I like these characters happy together. This conveys that well - and I like how you've juxtaposed early-relationship-conscientiousness with early-relationship-cluelessness.
The way Karen's been presented so far on the show, she seems such the wiser choice for Jim. Maybe she is - maybe if he chooses Pam, he'll find that road more difficult than he expected. It'll be interesting to see if the writers give Karen a fatal flaw - so far she doesn't seem to have one, other than that she has no history in Scranton.
Blah, blah, blah.
Great fic!
8 Welcome to smut ;)
The moment when Jim tells her he'll still be with Karen made this real, saved it from becoming the kind of Jim-and-Pam-get-it-on-and-all-is-groovy-the-end stuff the rest of us write.
Nice work :)
9 Painful and gorgeous. Gorgeous and painful.
Also: perfect.
Sorry, nothing constructive here :)
9 Ah, this is lovely - very like the spring you describe - soft, and quiet, and fresh.