This is an interesting start!  Two comments:  one, I find that the name before the talking heads, i.e. "Jim." before his talking head in italics is distracting.  The fact that you put the talking head in italics helps distinguish it for what it is and makes the name-bit unnecessary.  

Two:  are you really going to make Missie a possible love-interest for Jim?  I mean, I guess if they were exes, it's always possible, but if Missie knows that Jim's always had a thing for Pam and then she gets in-between them, wouldn't she kind of feel like an asshole?  Something to think about as you continue it.

Also:  I'm kind of interested in Karen's reaction to having Missie in the office.  I like the fact that Pam acknowledges that they might be friends (poor Pam needs a friend) -- but how does Karen react?  Does she know who Missie is?  Did Jim and Karen talk about her ever?  Is she going to be threatened by her?  I'm curious about this dynamic.  I don't think you need to make Karen "catty," per se, but I think she'd be a little cautiously suspicious.  Karen always seemed like the type of person who had more guy friends than girl friends (and Jim, I think, had a good combination of guy and girl friends).  If I were Karen, I'd be a little exasperated at having another Jim Halpert friend/love interest in the office. 

Anyway, definitely interested to see where this goes.

This is definitely interesting.  Dwight as Pam's stepbrother?  Jim, Toby, and Ryan as stoners?  LOL!!!  I never watched Freaks & Geeks but I like this beginning.  I'd be interested to see where you go with it.

Also:  Oscar's last name is actually Martinez on the show; his real-name is Nunez.  Don't know if that was intentional or not.  

Okay... write more.   

I like this so far!  This is a really interesting start.  Can't wait to see where this goes ... how do Jim and Roy get along in this alterate universe?  Do Karen and Pam become friends, or is Karen suspicious of Pam?  When do Jim and Pam do the wild monkey?  Ooooh, so interesting.

Author's Response: It's going to be a bumpy road, but I'll give out one spoiler, one of these relationships isn't lasting very long :)

I have to say, Karen was definitely in rare form here.  I think that maybe she needs to chill out!  OTOH, if I was Jim, I definitely would have broken up with her if she was acting that way.  

I noticed a few technical issues -- you might want to consider using a beta reader to help you fix a few of those things.  

Are you going to write about Jim & Pam's date at the concert?  I'm not really into songfic, and I think it would get bogged down if you wrote about the songs, but a few well-placed references here and there and some Jim & Pam... that could be fun.

KEL!!!  You write Michael/Jan so well.  Oh my goodness, I loved this.  I can only imagine Jan breaking down when Michael, of all people -- breaks up with her.  She needs to get over herself and just let him love her, already.  Aww.  This was great.

Author's Response: You are too nice to me!  :)

Wow, VL.  Hot stuff.  I do enjoy stories where it's acknowledged that they fantasize about each other -- because it's realistic.  Can't wait to read more!  At the club, drinking ... dancing?  Ooooh man.

Author's Response: All finished, sweetie. Check out the last chapter. Thanks for the review.

This is an interesting start.  You've set it up so that it would appear that the deathee (is that a word?) is Dwight, but it also seems you've made it deliberately a mystery because you want to keep us guessing (or thinking it's Dwight.  Or Creed.  Actually, either one would be relevant.)  I like the premise, but I don't know if the "surprise, who died?" is necessary.  

Two comments:  1) you might want to check your word use; read over the story again.  I caught a couple words that were used improperly, i.e., "slowly" instead of "slow."  (That wasn't it, but that's what I mean.  And 2), I really wonder whether Jim would hope that whomever it was kept a journal.  I doubt that - it seems too obvious and sets up the fact that they are going to find a journal.  I think he'll just be curious what he's going to find, not really knowing what to expect.  

I don't know if you've used or are interested in using a beta, but the couple little things like this could and/or would be easily caught by using one.  

Don't let my wordy review overwhelm you -- I am definitely interested to see where this goes ... 

I'm glad that you added that bit to the end as well -- although now I have to say that Marsha has come off as a bit creepy, demanding letters from Jim!  It's sort of like she's blackmailing him.  If I was Jim, I would have walked away, too.  

I find this interesting now because, in a way, it reveals a bit of narrator bias on the part of Marsha.  No longer is she just a neutral observer in these letters that Pam's writing to Jim, she's now an active participant in a scheme not only to reveal Pam's feelings, but to also make herself feel better, which is a bit sinister in a way.  Very interesting!

Can't wait to read more of this.  Keep sending it my way!!

Are you fucking KIDDING me?  I hate you right now!  I was totally hoping to get some secks-u-al resolution here!  And who is it??  Jim?  Ryan?   OMG, the suspense is killing me!

I also love how you completely captured the drunken stream-of-consciousness conversations that happen when you've had a few too many.  Also?  Dwight Schrute is a really, really cute drunk!  Ah!  I can't believe I just said that, but I'm convinced that he is now!  

(I kind of see Drunk!Dwight as a less delirious version of himself in The Injury.  "Awwww... Pam."  Hee.)

OK, seriously.  Bring on the smut.  I will take anything.  You're looking at a desperate woman here.  

Ha!  You really did a nice job of writing Creed, who, in my mind, would be really difficult to capture.  I love it!  I also enjoy the detail about him having everyone's names wrong... that's hilarious.

Ooooh, bitch is maaaad.  This is interesting!  I like how you've filled in the blanks on that scene and I'm really interested to see where this goes.  You know I love your stuff, anyway, so, yea.  Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response:

I totally agree with macolly's comment, you really picked a good (funny) topic to have them investigate!  Not what I expected at all.  Awesome!  I really can't wait to see where this goes.  I also love how you picked them to pair up with Angela & Dwight.  That was such a good idea, too!  I love this so far.  Can't wait for more.