He wakes up with a jackhammer in his head, cotton in his mouth and a swirling vortex of something awful in his stomach. Set just after "Diwali."
10 This is good - nice boldness, drunk Jim! Keep going, I just love this story!
10 YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!! I seriously thought it would be Karen. I know, I read the story description and it said drunk JIM/PAM not Karen. But still, I wasn't expecting Pam. It would've been just too good to be true. But alas, life has some lovely unexpected surprises. Great chapter and I really love how you quickly ran through the night with those few short lines. I'm looking forward to the next posting, blanca. It's great to have you back!
Author's Response: Hee! I often skip the descriptions and jump right into stories, which sometimes leaves me pleasantly surprised. I'm glad the ending wasn't expected. That's what I was going for anyway. And you'll get to see more of the night before than just those few lines, so there's that to look forward to as well. It's good to be back, and reading comments like this is one of the best parts about it!
10 Aww, Pam. Don't break poor Jim's heart! But they'll settle things out eventually, I know. Blanca - thank you so much for coming back to bring us this amazing story - it's so fun to read and I'm really excited about where this is going to end up. Great job with your writing, and I'm so glad you're back. Keep going!
10 Wow, just a quarter? lol. I really loved this, you two. Definitely in character for both of them. I have to say, I really loved all of Pam's 'secret' thoughts - the way she dismissed Roy, and told herself that this weekend was all about her was so great to read, jazzfan. Great job! I'm looking forwards to the next in the series!
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot! We appreciate your taking the time to leave a note. Jazzfan did do a great job on Pam's self-indulgent weekend. I liked how she twisted things a bit and made the "on fire" a POSITIVE thing for Pam (who was "gloriously" on fire!), where it was definitely was a painful feeling for Jim. I never would've thought of doing that.
We hope to be able to post the next installment sometime in August. (Right, jazz?)
4 9 Aww. I loved that teapot! This is so heartbreaking. And I just needed to say thank you for having Pam use Sugar in the Raw - my go to REAL sugar (or at least I think so...) when I have tea away from home. Wow, I just ranted about a specific type of individually packaged servings of sugar. Pathetic. Anyways, I'm hitting the next button right now, I'm really interested in seeing where this is going!
Author's Response: don't worry it won't be angsty for long :) i can't do that to our poor girl. Pam definitely seems like a sugar in the raw kind of girl. i'm addicted to splenda unfortunately...ah well, thank you so much for your review!
10 poor teapot. i can't decide which situation is worse. i mean in the last chapter jim and pam are so awful to each other - but in this one ROY broke the teapot. that's worse than pam doing it. ach. this is depressing, but i'll have to keep reading the next three because they're such well-written anecdotes. :) keep going, and i liked the note about the CHamomile like CHocolate note. lol.
Author's Response: aw thank you for your review! i appreciate the support so much! :)
10 Aww, andtheivy, what a great story! I really loved it and I had many a laugh reading the game. Thanks for sharing your memories with us, I appreciated this!
10 so is pam still engaged to roy? i'm kinda thinking jim would've noticed, considering he's been pretty attentive towards her. so i'm going to go with they were together and then broke up. because if they were still together i think pam would be acting pretty differently about kissing jim and participating in three man.
anyways, like FlonkertonChamp said, nice job with jim's idea of a distraction and stop it with the cliff hangers already! so frustrating! no, i secretly love them :)
keep going and let's get jim and pam making out in the closet or something else michael would say.
10 I'm really loving the start of this, andtheivy! Very well written and the plot is so original! Plus, nice use of wunderkind - I cracked up there. I have to agree with you about Karen, she seemed like a nice person (how could a character played by Rashida Jones not be?) - but she and Jim didn't do well together. Anyways, I'm looking forwards to the continuation of this and let's get started with that art therapy conversation! Isn't that where (in this situation) people would go see Pam and she would have them do a type of art and they would talk about what motivated them to incorporate this and that in their artwork? Like Jim, I'm going to look that up, too...
10 Wow. Just wow. This story is just so fun to read! I love all of your secret glances you have between Jim and Pam. Very nice. And the iron and pitcher? I think I snorted laughing so hard... lol. And you made up the hand kiss? (Yes, I realize I'm repeating everything you said in your AN, but seriously, you bring up the best points of the story! They're so funny!) The hand kiss was just perfect, I really respect Jim's... er.... respect for Angela's sanity. Very nice. Anyways, keep this up, and I want to see these two together at some point, take your time though - this is so fun! (this may just be the stupidest review I have ever written - but I don't really care at this point, :) I just want to convey that I love this story!)
Author's Response: Yeah, we had one girl who would only closed-mouth kiss and everyone respected that, so I wanted to take it further with Angela and it seemed like Jim would find a way to respect her limits while still playing the game, that Pam would be kind of smitten by Jim's kindness, and that Karen would be savvy enough to kind of orchestrate it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's making me miss being young!
10 Wow, Jim. And thank you for sending Angela to the powder room. Poor Pam, now she must feel so awful. Great chapter as always, and please pretty please keep going. You have all these characters down so well, it's just hard to stop!
Oh my goodness, I love this story so much! Thanks for the update, andtheivy, this was the best chapter yet. Too bad for Pam, though. Olives are wonderful (expect for the yucky black ones from a can. Ew.) And I loved that line, "I just couldn't leave Dwight." he whispers seductively." That was just so Jim and Pam. Lovely chapter and I look forwards to the fourth.
I love Paul Lieberstein. End of story. And this is the most perfect first date fic I've ever read. A wondeful mix of humor, seriousness and stolen kisses - not to mention unexpected changes of plans that catch Jim off guard and make him positively adorable. Keep going! Maybe they'll take a sweet stroll around the pond? Kiss in the moonlight? I'm just full of these ideas... :)
What a beautiful ending to a wonderful story! I loved this, with all of the sweet moments and revelations, and the arguments and accusations that were perfectly intertwined. Thanks for giving us a glimpse into your mind's eye - *you kneel* I officially dub you welcomed into the fold of MTT writers by way of this first date story on this 18th day of October, twenty-ten *you rise*. Congratulations!
10 This chapter is absolute perfection.
I was going to stop there, but I just had to say that the diner (or something like that) was just the most beautiful setting for the end of their first date. I don't know how it's possible for a diner to seem so romantic, but it just does. Probably because it's filled with Jim and Pam's humor, charm, smiles and playful banter. This was just so lovely - and the conversation was wonderful. The twists and turns, quick subject changes, and laughter pauses could've been awkward and hard to read, but you just made it so engaging, fun and it really drew me in. I really felt like I was there, watching them from a counter stool while drinking a rootbeer or something like that. Amazingly well done and I look forwards to more.
P.S. Have you ever written a proposal story? I'll go check your profile page... anyways, I am now fantasizing about a proposal (in a different setting than a gas station) that you'd write. I'm sure it would be amazing, with your talent for imagery. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! And I'd love to be on the next stool (a root beer sounds amazing by the way... ooh, or a float).
The only proposal scene I've written was in my story "In My Life, I Love You More," but it was a direct take off on the proposal scene on the show. That's definitely something to consider, however. I shall have to be sure to include a proposal scene in a future story, and I hope I won't let you down!
10 Oh my goodness, I just loved this chapter! I love your sense of humor, andtheivy! Three Man was definite evidence of that, you're really funny! I loved the part about the tie, yeah, no idea if that's really a metaphor, but I'll go with it, and whether or not Katy was natural in the many ways, lol.... I also loved the last bit about the prank, it really shows the true essence of Jim and Pam, that she would be so flattered and truly happy that she'd been asked to partake in a Halpert prank - the chocolate and roses bit was perfect.
Lovely chapter like usual (because I always seem to love everything that you come up with!), and I'm looking forwards to the continuation. You really should do a proposal story if you haven't already!
10 Okay, I loved the whole chapter, but I feel as though I can skip over talking about all that and just go to those last few lines. Where they both were finally, for maybe one of the first times ever, completely honest with each other about their relationships with other people. They must have wanted to do that billions of times while they weren't together, but now, even though they're finally dating, they can be brutally honest of how they felt when Karen and Roy were in the picture.
I know that this isn't really much of a chapter, and I'm only talking about three lines out of your entire story, but it felt so powerful to read those three lines, ones that I've never seen in a story before. It just surprised me that nobody's ever used these lines before, because it seems like something they've always wanted to say, and there have been so many first date or dating in general stories that they could have said 'I really hated seeing you with... it really hurt," but they never did.
So sorry I went on a rant about that, but I felt it was really important to say something about that.
Beautiful chapter, I love how this story is not super mushy, and they can actually talk about real things that affected them, and express emotions about them. Wonderfully written, and I look forwards to more! And happy season 7 to you.
10 That was just the sweetest thing ever. I loved all those stories, and especially their mannerisms and the way you described them moving about, blushing, etc. That was just priceless. Sorry it took me so long to read this chapter, it seems like every hour or two I get an email in my inbox from fanfiction.net saying that there's another chapter of Gilmore Girls fic to read. So... And um... wow, NanReg!
As always, I look forward to more, and I'd love to read a proposal fic from you if you ever found the inspiration for one!
10 I just adored the tone of this - sweet, playful, full of banter - all while being slightly cautious and questionable towards the near future. Wonderful conversation, I look forwards to more.
10 Wow, Dani - I wasn't expecting this! I'm so sorry that I didn't say that I was going to be away this week and I was out of touch for a while. I wish I had been around to beta this. Let me know if you want me to help out with chapter two, I'm really excited to see where this is going. Great job with the descriptions and dialog, this was very realistic. Keep going and send me an email!
10 This is such a great chapter! As I said to you in my email earlier today, I think this is your best writing yet. Great job, and I look forwards to chapter three. Send it over when you're ready!
Author's Response: Thank you so much Claire, I'm glad you liked this chapter! =) I'm writing chapter three at the moment and will sent it over when it's done.
10 Oh my goodness, is she awake? I just love the way you wrote Pam in this chapter, Dani. She can hear, but can't respond; she has emotions and senses, yet they are known only to her brain, not someone else. What a powerful and different way of writing a coma. I've never seen anything like this, I'm really impressed! Also, I wanted to say that you're writing has improved so much since I read your work for the first time. It wasn't bad to begin with, but I feel that you have a better sense of how to make it flow, and use words in a way that is powerful. I'm really impressed! Great job, and this was a beautiful chapter. I'm really looking forwards to the next update, I want to see if she's actually up and if she'll have her current situation come back to her - the fact that she's never said she loves Jim out loud before, and she'd been driving to see him when she had the accident. Send me an email if you want some beta'ing help! But I think you've got it covered w/ the lovely Danielle and Jess!
Author's Response: Aw thank you so much Claire! I really appreciate the review, it definitely means alot! I think my writing had defintely improved more than any of my stories, the reader's reviews, the suggestions and the comments really gives me a sense of push to improve more of my writing. I wouldn't have done this story without Danielle, Jess, and you! You guys have been such a great help! =) I'm really glad that you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter is now being written at the moment and is almost done.
10 I have to agree with Deedldee - playfulness is so fun to read! I was getting really sick of all the baby stories - but the fact that this is so different makes me forget all about that. :) I hope you'll continue this and show the fun sides of their pregnancy. Welcome to MTT!
Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm so glad you think this is original, and I can't wait to hear more of your lovely comments.
10 Aww, that was so good! I was so happy that you decided to have Jim be glad to see her - as so many stories where Pam goes to see Jim feature Karen upstairs, or the two of them getting drunk. What a sweet ending, and please continue this. You know what? I think you've inspired me to go back and continue my story that I started a while ago set right after Casino Night - I finally have an idea of what to do! Thanks for this bit of inspiration! You'll just have to see what happens... :)
Aww. Isn't Jim just the best? Duh - of course you know that, you wrote this version of him! I wish he had actually done this back in the day... that would've been the sweetest thing. And I love how she signs her note, 'With love, Pam.' Very cute idea, MrsKrasinski!
Author's Response: I know. I'd always wished he'd done this. And, thank you! :D