WOW! Yet another amazing chapter. I have to tell you, no story has touched me and ignited quite so many emotions at the same time in me in quite some time. I feel sad, angry, despair, concern, hope, thankful, worry, excited and curious. Not too many of the positive emotions at this point. Thankful comes from the fact that Pam and the baby are fine and also because she has someone, a whole family in fact, that are willing to step in and help her out. In return she doesn't seem to have to give up too much, just as long as no one tries to insist that she give the baby the last name of Anderson. (But here is where some of my emotions of curious, concern and hope come in. I don't know what side the coin landed on when you were flipping the coin trying to decide about if Jim would make it for the birth. I just think that if it landed on the bad side, to me that means him not being there, maybe she should flip the coin again and go for the best 2 ouf 3 or of needed 3 of 5, 5 of 7... you know, until you get to where I WANT you to be! )

The Andersons sound very kind and I hope that this will be what Pam needs right now as her heart heals from the pain and damage Jim caused with his accusations. It was absolutely heartbreaking to hear as she woke up her thinking she was in bed with Jim and he had the bkinds open. It had to send such fresh pain and agony through her as she faced her situation all over again.

I am hoping that, as awful as it sounds, Adele doesn't have long to live and that with her death Roy and Joe will allow Pam to give up the pretense that they have any hold on the baby. I just think that when you are playinh a real live game of make believe, sometimes you can get caught up in it and forget that it's not real and start believing the things you are pretending. (Kinda like what I feel Pam did on the actual show in seasons 1-2. She played a game of make believe that Jim was nothing but her best friend. She played it so well and so convincingly that she sorta believed it herself,she HAD to just like right now the Andersons NEED Adele to believe the baby is Kennys. But on the show, when it came down to it and she was shaken from her make believe world by Jim's confession and kiss, she tried hard to stay in the world she created for herself but in the end sje ust couldn't. Jim shook her out of it with what he did and she wasn't able to play that with Roy any more which is why she couldn't go through with the wedding.) Anyhow, I know that Pam won't truly get caught up in this game they are playing, I just can't believe that with a part of Jim growing and becoming so very real inside of her, it's probably going to become harder for her to continue pretending that the baby belongs to anyone but herself and Jim as it grows in her and becomes a real person. Because their love was so real and deep I think she will cling to it as all she has left of him and have a difficult time sometimes dealing with it when she has to pretend that the baby is someone else's. There is a lot to see as far as how things will play out with the Andersons at this point. I'm thinking that Adele is going to want Pam to move into their house and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Obviously it would be good for her to not need to pay rent and such but ultimately I think it's best for pam herself to know that she can stand on her own and doesn't have to have anyone support her and the baby so that when her and Jim's paths DO inevitably cross again, he will be able to see that she CAN do it alone, has been doing it alone. I don't know why but I just feel that it will be important to their dynamic when it all starts to fall into place. I think it's clear that Roy is going to begin having feelings for Pam and, yuck. I think it's logical for the story but I can't help but think ROY... step away from Pam and the hospital bed. Please put your flowers in the trash, remove your hand from Pam's and never ever forget that now rather than you and Kenny doing Pam a favor, she is doing a HUGE HUGE favor for your family. The thing is, like I said, this is just my general reaction to Roy (and the other person who should never be mentioned) but the fact is, it makes sense for the AU story that you are creating.

Then there is Jim. I can't help but feel for the poor heartbroken guy who made his own bed, not on purpose but he did, and now he had no choice but to lay in it. It sounds to me like no matter what is happening, Oam is going to continue to live in his heart which shows just how true their love is. I'm wondering just how his mom is going to play into this. Clearly it seems that she isn't as controling and manipulative as his dad. He seems to be somewhat open to having some type of a relationship with her. I'm thnking that as I said before, I firmly believe that while Pam believe that she has run away from the Halperts and especially with the help of the Andersons she will be able to easily hide, O just don't believe it's easy to hide from people with that kind of money who are able to follow you. I'm even wondering if there will come a point where Jim's dad, or someone representing him, will approach Pam and offer her money to stay away from him. (I hope you aren't sick and tired of all my thoughts and theories on this story. It's just all SO very unique and intriquing.) So I'm tjinking, Jim keeps a tenuous relationship with his mom, not wanting any part of their world any longer, especially knowing now that his dad, through his manipulations that I'm sure Jim has lived with all his life and was no doubt a large part of what Jim was running from, his dad cost him the only woman he has ever and will ever truly love. The person he was certain was his soul mate. I think Jim's mom is probably controlled by his dad and Jim knows this and it has everything to do with why he feels he has no choice but to keep her at arms length. At the same time, she IS his mom and I've always imagined our Jim to have a special bond with his mom and maybe this Jim has that bond but it's just different than what has been pictured before because I just think money changes everything, even how sons bond with their moms and how much they trust them. So I'm thinking that Jim's mom is going to know about Pam and come to realize just how much Jim loves her and that from what she hears from Jim, Pam loves him as well and it had nothing to do with the money. I think like we know, Jim realized that Pam knew nothing about who he is (whoever that is, still a mystery) and I think his mom will come to see in her heart that Jim is right, Pam didn't know. I think Jim's mom is going to find out that his dad knowa exaxtly where Pam is and she will either go there herself, maybe to wherever it is that Joe Anderson gives her a job, and make it seem like an accidental meeting. I just think that Jim's mom is going to want to se and get a feel for Pam herself. Maybe she won't even know about the baby. Or maybe she'll get the information and just pass it along to Jim. Either way I think his mom will be the instrument that gives Jim the information about Pam. I think she'll do that to show her son just how much she really loves him and prove to him that she is different than his dad. Of course I KNOW the complications that are going to arise when Jim finds Pam again, however that happens. Jim is certainly going to be tangled in Karen's web and probably for some reason have a hard time getting free of her. Maybe it will be that he's tried to convince himself that Pam left him and he owes whatever to Karen. Maybe Karen will have him convinced that she is pregnant and he won't have any idea about Pam's baby or if he does maybe he'll have been told that the father is Kanny Anderson, wondering if he'll think she was cheating on him.

The sad thing is that the core of all the heartache and despair that we are seeing and will continue to see our wonderful duo go through is completely rooted in Jim's life, his upbringing anf the fact that he has just learned, the hard way I'm sure, that you just can't trust anyone, especially a pretty girl. I think it's pretty darn hard to shake your core values whether they are good or bad. I think that when the cross between Jim's life he's made for himself in Stamford and the reality of what he and Pam had back in Scranton before he ruined it, when that comes I think it'll almost come down to a choice for Jim of continuing on with Karen and her representing his life as he grew up which is obviously the easiest thing in that he KNOWS that life. It's what he had all his life and it's not something he'll have to fight for. Ot there will be Pam which represents him running away and being his own man. Living a life that is unfamiliar which makes it scary, but it's a;; completely his own. It's a choice between Karen who wants him for what he can be, what he can represent and what that will give her, and Pam who simply love *though at this point I'm sure he'll have to do uite a lot for there to be trust from her) but she simply loves Jim, period. She needed, and needs, nothing more than him. She sees the core of him, the trappings all fall away. She loves the Jim in rumpled clothing and with bedhead who shares a house to make it financially and works a 9-5 job he soesn't particularly like, to pay the bills and maybe eek out a little extra for some fun but that's it. She doesn't need a lot of money or fancy trappings, I would even venture to say she wouldn't want them. I think when it comes sown to it, both Jim and Pam will want the same things. Each other. A family and to simply stand on their own two feet.

Okay, I'm sorry, I just get so caught up in this that I can't help but come up with all kinds of scenerios on how it's going to play out. I REALLY hope that you don't mind. I really do love your story and the way you are keeping us on the proverbial edge of our seats. I just need it faster. I'd appreciate if you could maybe, ummmm... uit your job, or take a leave and forget about your friends and family and anything other than this story until it's done because the wait between each chapter is KILLING me and you don't want to be responsible for my death, do you? Seriously, I wanted to say, I obviously have no idea where you intend to end this. Most stories tend to get to where Pam and Jim are finally happy and that's the end. That's great but I always hope for more. If there is any way you could find it in your heart to take us a bit beyond the happy ending (I'm assuming a happy ending based on our 'review talk over the past two reviews') I would just love to see a little bit more of where they go with their loves even before an epilogue if you choose to do an epilouge. Just a plea from me and something that you can maybe consider.

Lastly *and I know this one is crazy long, SO sorry to you and everyone that reads the reviews though I suspect most get sick and tired of my long ramblings and simply skip them, I don't blame them. I just hope I don't make people angry.) I want to say how impressed I was by the way tou handled I would say the negative review but it wasn't negative, it was rude, insulting and just plain wrong. Tis is YOUR story to tell. It's one thing for someone to give a negative review based on not thinking you are making sense or things that are constructive and helpful. I feel it's wrong to leave a review in that manner using words that are offensive (to me and I know to you as well) and not really helping you in any way just trying to force you to make the story go the way the reviewer wants. I sincerely hope that my long rambles never come across that way. You are a fantastic writer and an awesome story teller. You obviously have a wonderful imagination and all of us here are tuly blessed that you choose to use your imagination to write the stories that you share with us. I really want to thank you for that. I cannot begin to imagine the time you put into your writing (Okay, I CAN begin to, I have started 3-4 Pam and Jim ficx but I just don't think I have the nerve to put myself out there to be judged. Plus, I probably suck!!!) but to put that time into something just to share with us, I feel honored. To insult you when you are doing this is wrong, not to mention, your story is fantastic and even the elements that we wish weren;t there, work and really it simply wouldn't be a very interesting story without those elements. Thank you and really any writer that reads this, for all the time and effort you put in just to share with and entertain us. It has to be a bit scary to put your personal works out there to be judged.

Back to just you. not all writers, you're so clearly awesome! (That's in the words of Pam Beesly of course. Now you need to apply to Pratt or whatever the writing equivolent of it is!!! I'll be the one to tell you that they'll love those stories!!!

Onto the next chapter. I can't wait to get through this icky stuff and be onto the good stuff!!! Keep up the fantastic work!

Author's Response: DUUUUUUUDEEEEEEE! I don't even know where to begin to respond to this one! YOU ARE SOOOOOO INSIGHTFUL!! I LOVE YOU CRAZY LONG REVIEWS! It's almost like I'm reading an in depth analysis of my work! I ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY love it! But I will say this.. it was very scary to post this one (As I'm with all my fics... I usually but JIm and Pam through hell). But in most of my fics I keep Jim and Pam mostly in character.. ALWAYS. And this one... They don't seem like the JIm and Pam we know and love. I was scared I was going to be judged and all the point you brought up on your review. But, I'm glad I did it! It's not a "popular" fic, but I like the feed back that I get. It's different? Yes. Is it evoking different emotions from readers? Yes. So, I'm going to stick with it. By far this is the most scared I've been before posting a fic. So lady, don't be scared to put yourself our there. There are many of us in this AMAZING website that would be willing to help you. And once you do it... You'll see that it's not so bad... You might even like it! Thank you for being a wonderful supporter of this fic. You have no idea on the impact you've had on me. -D

Oh wow... I really really worried after the last chapter. It truly hurt and I just didn't know if I'd really be able to make a comeback and get back into the story or not. I should not have questioned your ability to get me back into things. I LOVE that in an email where Jim's mom writes all about family and shares pictures of the grandkids she inknowingly shares pictures of ALL of her grandchildren. It's interesting how on the day Jim is finally feeling right with the world again, this email arrives, the very thing that has has the ability and in fact will (I think) start Jim on the road to righting his world when he didn't even know just how upside down it was. I'm glad that Jim called his mom who it seems really likes to chatter on rather than calling his dad who I suspecr as Jim thinks this through, which he will have LOTS of time to do while on a plane from Australia, I think he's going to know that his dad HAS to know just who Pam is. I mean, daddy knew all about Pam back in Scranton, I think Jim would know his dad well enough to know first that his dad would have known just what Pam looks like and second that his dad's questions about Pam when Jim was in Stamford and Gerry's actions in dismissing him from Thanksgiving and Christmas with the family, the family Christmas party, giving him tickets to Australia and not only encouraging him to stay away from home in Philly but also encouraging his staying in Australia, going to school for something his dad would generally object to, I have a feeling that on his plane ride home, all of this is going to slide into place for Jim and he's going to realize that while he was feeling proud of himself for getting his dad to back off and finally let Jim be his own person, his dad was sitting smugly by KNOWING that he was denying his son something that would mean absolutely everything to him. I also think that while Jim is probably going to go through some anger at Pam for this, the plane ride is long enough for him to realie that he MADE her run. I have to believe that he will think back and remember saying phrases like 'my family will take care of the baby' and he will realize how scary that would be for Pam. Combine that with the fact that when she told him about the baby he accused her of being a horrible person, he in fact became someone Pam had never seen and didn't know, well, he has to understand her reasons for running. He should also realize that had he thought about things, he maybe should have realized sooner that if Pam were going to run away from her life and everything she knew, she would have needed to have a reason other than just their breakup. I would also think Jim will go through some guilt thinking about how he was out being the Karen's boyfriend, meeting the folks and sharing a holiday and then the world traveler and carefree bachelor/student in Australia and all the time he really had one goal in mind, forget all about Pam. While he was doing this Pam was going through, well, he has no idea what, but he's sure she went through plenty with the pregnancy and being alone, without the father of her baby. (BTW, I LOVE that especially upon hearing the name of the baby he KNEW, without a doubt that this was in fact his daughter. I also love that he printed the picture out to bring with him on his journey back to Pam and to meet his baby. I am sure he is soaking in the picture of his first child but I have to believe that seeing even a picture of Pam after trying in vain to live his life for so many months without her has to be for him like being in the dessert for a long time and finally getting a drink of water. It made me smile. :o) ) Not only would these be things that I believe Jim would be beating himself up for but also, he put Pam in a situation that he has NO idea if she changed her mind and tried to find him. Maybe she wanted him there for part of it, at least the birth but oh yeah, she couldn't have possibly done anything about it because the information she had about him was lies, for goodness sakes, had she at least known his last name she ould have connected it to the fat that these very rich people with the last name of Halpert who are there in Philly, could at very least be related. Could have been a starting point. I just thought of something, I wonder if Pam ever put this together. I'm pretty sure that you said that Jim told her that his Grandma Marie raised them after his parents DIED. Well then the night that everything went to hell he told her that his dad had shown up and told him all this stuff about her. Wonder if she ever conneted that lie and wondered further what other lies he may have told? Anyhow, his whole family background that he told her was lies with the apparent one truth being about his Grandma Marie. Oh and I also have to believe that the fact that he knows that she named the baby after her grandma and his would give him a lot of hope that she is still thinking about him, hopefully still has some kind of feelings for him and that she at very least wanted him to be somewhere in their daughter's life. The other ways that Jim made it impossible for Pam to ome back to or find him was first initially leaving Scranton. I would guess that she could have found out about the transfer pretty easily but then I wonder, I mean, had she called Stamford I'm sure she would have asked for Jim Duncan and been told that there was no one there by that name. (I'm guessing that with his dad being the one to 'send' him to Stamford and Karen who knows him, working there, he would have used his real last name. Maybe I'm wrong, just a guess. Had she pursued it a bit I'm sure she could have found the Jim that transfered from Scranton not long ago but who would have thought of that? Then finally, he got rid of the cell that she knew the number for. At last she had absolutely no way to be able to track him down. I think Jim is going to be swinging back and forth between three emotions on the plane ride home... the love that has surged through him stronger than ever for Pam, and the brand new love that I'm sure he is already feeling at least some for the daughter that he blocked himself from being ablt to know about, guilt about all the things he did and lies he told to Pam and raging Anger at his father, and really anger at himself too but I'm sure that he'll realize that his father started the chain of events that seperated him from Pam and then he made sure that it kept going.

On the other side of the globe I have to say I was startled to learn that Roy is STILL trying to worm his way in and Pam seems to continue to give him openings. I kinda wanted to shake her because NO, having a newborn is NOT easy and it's extremely exhausting but Roy has already voiced that he wants to be more than a 'fun uncle' to the baby, you just can't let someone like that have all these openings because they WILL take them. I was really very happy when Pam came to the decision that she simply is not going to bring Cece into a lie that she created. I can see how having that sweet baby there would bring out the best, the very maternal side of Pam and that she would not want her daughter caught up in something that simply isn't true. I'm also glad that she said to Roy about Cee's dad not being deceased. You know, Roy really, he likes to prade around as the good guy but when Pam isn't giving him what he wants and especially if he even thinks she is thinking about the guy he no doubt knows that she still loves, he doesn't mind playing dirty. Like back a few chapters when he said 'he's never coming back' in spite of the fact that he simply doesn't know the story. He doesn't know Jim. Then this chapter he used her very own fears against her. Fears that she shared only because she was feeling vulnerable and he just had to say 'what do you think he'll do when he finds you've been hiding her away? He'll take her from you.' The thing is, when Pam had fears about the baby being taken from her, I think it wasn't that Jim would take the baby away but that his family would. I think Pam knows and has had time to start to understand even better that Jim loves her and that he wouldn't take the baby away because he would be right there with her raising their daughter. Roy just has no idea the kind of love that he's up against here and he's so much better off that Pam is rebuffing his attempts because otherwise when Jim comes back they love each other so much that Roy would become collateral damage just like Karen. I just read Roy's words again, and they make me really angry. They awe Pam. She would not have went into this scheme except she was told that it would kill Adele to learn that the truth that Adele had made up in her own mind, was not the truth at all. Yes, they took care of her but she also let herself be subjected to things she really didn't want and also, she probably would have actually looked for Jim at some point earlier if not for her involvement with the Anderson family. She has made Adele happy enough that her cancer is now in remission, they owe Pam a debt and not the other way around. For Roy to say, you're going to take Cece from us now just like you took her from him, is OUTRAGEOUS! I mean, how dare he!! To start with, they have no claim on Pam or that baby. Her stay at their house was only ever supposed to be temporary. I just keep thinking, how dare he over and over. Hate to tell you Roy but Jim is on his way and I don't think it will take long AT ALL for him to mend those fences and have Pam and their baby with him. She's not yours Roy. Neither of them are.

Ahhhhhh... I feel like I can breathe again! This chapter makes me so much happier. (Not that making ME happy matters.) Your writing is superb as always and wow what an imagination!

I really am sorry that I had such a hard time with the last chapter but I am being completely honest in saying that I am SO glad that one is done and it looks like we are SOOOO close to some good stuff. It looks like maybe our wonderful duo may see each other again in the next chapter, I'm absolutely praying that it is so! I really feel like Pam NEEDS to get out of the Anderson house and SOON. They have become too wrapped up in and dependant on her and Cece for their happiness and it's ALL based on a lie. Good things never come from basing things on lies, just ask Jim.

Thanks for an awesome chapter. Again, sorry if I let you down on the last one, I just hope you can try to understand. I am REALLY looking forward to the next chapter(s.) Don't take too long with them PLEASE!!! I need the happiness! Hugs T

Author's Response: I think i tackled most of this review on the emails, right? If I didn't, please let me know and I'll be more than happy to tell you more about it.

10

Okay first off, PLEASE don't throw yourself in front of a bus or anything else! You are much to nice and I would sincerely miss your story telling ability, not to mention not getting an ending to this one.

Okay, you say that the next chapter will get our hearts racing, is that in a good way? ::::said while looking at the computer with extremely hopeful eyes:::: I have to be honest, this chapter was another very well written chapter but honestly, it was agonizingly painful to read. I'm serious. Watching Pam get further sucked in with Roy and even having any thoughts that he could even begin to fill Jim's shoes... that WOULD make me want to cry if not for Duo number 2. I am like screaming at the computer, look away Jim, look away! Once again, for him to begin thinking that Karen could in ANY way begin to heal what is broken in him by what HE DID to Pam... it makes me upset and honestly, it makes me angry. So it's been three whole months since he absolutely crushed the woman who he claimed to love and want to marry. He was so down yet he gives himself permission to go ahead and start filling Pam's place I'm sure giving no real regard for what she could be going through. I mean, I'm just wondering, Jim's family has all this money and apparently has the resources to find people and find out about people, Jim's dad found him when he ran and hid and knew all about Pam and her being pregnant etc. Would it EVER occur to Jim that just maybe his family owes him a little something at this point and he could use those same resources to find the love of his life and find out that he's going to be a dad before Roy is firmly in place and playing daddy to his child. UGH!!!! Of course, I guess our Jim IS one that blows a person's world apart and then just covers with another person. At least on the show, I know different people seem to think a little differently about when Jim started seeing Karen etc. The theory that seems to be most widely used in fan fiction and the one I tend to believe is that Jim went out with Karen for the first time either the night he returned to work at the Scranton Branch OR sometime after he knew he was returning which would be very shortly before that. SO, at least there that Jim was decent enough to let his heart heal some and I think would have probably waited even more than the appoximately 6 months that he did had he not needed Karen to sheild him from Pam. It seems like in ThIS situation where he didn't have just one kiss that he's sure she responded to but a whole relationship that he KNOWS he screwed up badly, seems he would need more time. Of course, for the sake of the story Jim has to be like this so things can get all good and tanfled up. I just hope that as Pam takes these tentative steps toward Roy and Jim does toward Karen that as they experiment they each are able to come to the solid conclussion that what they had was that once in a lifetime, sould mate type of love and that they just don't have any real feelings towards these new people in their lives. They can't really because for one, the break up is still far too new. Pam has part of Jim with her that I just know it would be too painful for her to really share with Roy. Jim has the knowledge that he did this. He made her run from him AND, she's still out there somewhere. I mean, does it not occur to him that he's never really tried the one thing he CAN do to hopefully make the pain go away and that is look for her. In looking for her he would also show her just how much he cares. Also, it would become VERY obvious that though yes, she IS pregnant with his child, it very obviously had nothing to do with his family's money since she ran to get away from it rather than trying to get any of it. He could calm her fears about his family and the baby by being with her and them doing the parenting thing together. Oh my, this chapter just has me all messed up and I REALLY hope you are sending relief and sending it SOON because as far as getting the heart pumping, you did THAT in this chapter, just in a painful way!

Reflecting back to early in the chapter, it sounds like if Jim does find Pam some how, she just might be receotive to allowing him to explain about his upbringing and such. Something that will help make sense out of it all for Pam.

I need to make something clear, I am certainly not criticizing the way you are writing the story when I'm expressing outrage over Jim moving on or not looking for Pam. I kinda look at the story as something that is really happening and I am like mad at the people because there are people that would act in those ways. Does that make sense? I still feel like you are telling an absobrillfantasically awesome story that is just packed full of imagination. (BTW in case you can't tell, that word is potions of absolutely, brilliant and of course fantastically and awesome. Couldn't think of one word to sum it up well enough!)

The negative side, you have been pounding relentlessly on my grief bone and this chapter here? This one here threatened to absolutely shatter if once and for all. Can you just imagine me having to live the rest of my life with a shattered grief bone abd you would have no choice but to accept that it's ALL YOUR FAULT! Another chapter like this and I'm pretty certain it WILL shatter and you will have to live the rest of your life with the knowledge that YOU so cruely shattered my grief bone! Okay, this is just getting silly now. It was a seriously hard chapter for me to read BUT I did think your analogy about the torn apart paper was really good. I hope in thinking about that Jim will think that the only thing that would fit in the spot where the torn paper once was, is the part that was torn from it. You can rig something else in there but the paper will always be missing part of itself and the part you rig in there is never going to really even come vlose to fitting the right way. You have to ignore a lot.

Okay, another excellent job. Now PLEASE, I've been patient, haven't I??? I KNOW I have so PLEASE, give me something I can smile about! Throw us a bone here! (or the entire steaK WOULD BE NICE! :o) )

Author's Response: I don't see your reviews as critical in any way. They are actually a compliment to my writing - that someone is taking their time to analyze it and see it beyond the words I've typed up. You brought up a good point here - Why doesn't Jim use his dad's resources to find Pam. REALLY GOOD POINT. This is how I see it... Jim is trying to not be like his father. He doesn't want any part of his schemes. He didn't like it when it was done to him, so why would he do to someone else? Jim thinks that Pam doesn't want to be with him anymore - that she made her point loud and clear by leaving him. Although this pains him, he know he has to move on. Tracing her and finding her, to him, seems a little low - something his dad would do. So, he chooses not to do that. Also, I think I see Jim from the show a little differently here. I don't see him as trying to replace Pam or cover her place. I legitimately think that he believed that could move on from Pam. I don't think he saw Karen as a rebound until Pam was there, front and center, being that person he'd fell in love with. It's the same way here. Jim thinks that Karen can be the anti-Pam, if I may say. He want to stop the feelings that emerge every time he thinks of Pam. And, right now, for Jim Karen is that buffer that will keep him, for the time being, sane. And yes, things have to be like this so now just to tangle it all up! lol! Spoiler alert... Jim will find Pam. And I'm going to stick to the idea that time heals things and yes, Pam might be more open to listen to him and his story... but remember scars are forever! Thanks you so much for taking your time to review. It means a lot. Your reviews make me think about what I'm writing and how people are perceiving my ideas. Luvs Dee

10

...WOW... I mean wow! Amazing... breathtaking... absolutely magical! That's it.... you are painting this picture with your words and that picture is turning out absolutely and incredibly MAGICAL!!!

I love that this chapter begins without preamble, just dives right in to Jim painting a picture for Pam of what his life was like growing up and exactly what it was that would drive him to make the decisions that he made. I have to admit, I certainly felt far more sympathy for the poor guy after reading all he had been through. Let's face it, it sounded like he was raised more in a company with a CEO than a family with a father. I mean, what young man in his right mind first off wants to be told that he doesn't have choices about his future and basically whether he wants it or not, the company is the only future he gets? What boy that is college aged and a bit older wants to be accompanied everywhere by body guards? Had his father LOOSENED the reigns rather than continuing to tighten them more and more as Jim seemed to be feeling a noose tighten around his neck, well, maybe his dad would have gotten Jim into the company.

Before I say any more about this part can I just say, the way that you sprinkle bits of the present, Jim rubbing Cece's back, Cece kicking her legs in her sleep, Pam stretching over to watch what Cece is doing and what I just love, Jim asking if his daughter is dreaming... it just bring so much more life to the story and makes it just... amazing. I mean, you are just so amazing with that imagery, of the descriptions of the things that newborn babies do. I swear each time I read a description I could picture one of my three children as a newborn doing that very thing. It kept us all in the present, remembering the magnitude of exactly whar was going on, Jim getting to hold and get to know his baby daughter for the very first time. Him getting to know the 'other girl' that he would fall in love with, the one that will one day not too crazy far into the future, call Pam mommy, just as Jim had told her in the memory he had back so many months ago.

Anyhow, wow... the story about Katy was so compelling! I certainly didn't forsee the twist where she claimed that Jim had forced himself on her. WOW! I never did care for Katy at all! She was certainly much better suited for Roy! :o) Anyhow, one can only imagine Jim living in the hell his life had become after the debacle with Katy and of course all parents are guilty of the 'told you so's' but WOW! I can only imagine what Jim got from his! Adding to that more guards... people knowing his dirty laundry and judging him... yeah, one can understand much more why he ran and even why he went to the lengths he did to try and remain hidden even if that meant not exposing himself to the girl he fell in love with until he really felt that he could. I like that Pam just kinda instinctively knew that he planned to tell her that night. I felt so bad for Pam as Jim continued his story, when he told about his dad showing up and telling him Pam was pregnant and knew who he was and was another Katy... when Pam asked how he knew and Jim told her that PIs had been following her too, I can just imagine how ill she felt. The invasion of her privacy would have to have felt tremendous. What I love here about how you fo it at this point is you go back and forth a bit, kinda weaving a complete story of what happened in their lives while they were apart. I love that Jim didn't blame Pam for not staying, he understood why she couldn't. I DO though understand why Jim feels strongly that Adele needs told, and truth be told, very recently Pam had plans to do that very thing so I hope she will do the right thing. Anyhow, Jim wants it knows that this is HIS child, HIS daughter. He doesn't want anything fake or faulse in his, or their lives. I have a feeling that about now he wants to scream from the mountaintops that he has found Pam again and that they have a baby girl... THEIR baby girl. Not Kenny's... not Anderson... HIS, HERS... Halpert!

Oh man, the picture you painted, I could see it so vivlidly when he sat beside her and put his hand on her stomach, so intimately, and asked if she thought of him when Cece was in there... I swear it kinda made me want to cry. Cry for the long lonely nights they each had missing each other... cry for what they nearly missed out on.

Then the most beautiful part of it all and a part that I am so familiar with and could envision just so perfectly... Cece gets hungry and Pam is going to feed her, I'm glad she didn't like go in the bathroom or have Jim leave the room even though she covered up. I mean, part of me thought it was silly, he has obviously been exposed to those parts of HERS plenty but then I remembered back to when I was nursing a baby and I remembered in the beginning having those open and exposed feelings even sometimes with my own husband in the room so yeah, it made sense. I was also able to feel her frustration and agony over wanting so much to nurse a baby that can't get it's latch right. I didn't nurse my first. I was young and stupid and really, at that point the push to nurse hadn't really started so with me going back to work 5-6 weeks post partum everyone thought bottles made sense. When I had my second, nearly 4 years later, the nursing push was full force and I KNEW I was going to nurse this one. Infortunately things like lactation consultants and such weren't widely known and when I had problems getting him to latch the only help were the nurses and not one of the nurses on duty at the time had even nursed their own baby. I took home a baby that still wasn't latching and though I tried hard, with almost no one to give me any information, I eventually failed. (and felt like a failure!) I know just how Pam is feeling, it really hurts. Giving in and giving a bottle is almost physically painful. I love love LOVE how you have Jim as the catalyst to her success here. He can see the toll it's taking on her and not only the pain and longing in Pam's eye's but in Cece's as well. I love how Jim asks Pam to trust him as he puts the pillows at the headboard for her to relax on the bed and I have to say, the visual of him asking 'will you trust me?' and her nodding yes as he then approaches her and unbuttons her shirt just so natuarally while having to ignore the images his mind is throwing his way, meantime because Jim didn't make a big deal of it, as he nads Pam the baby just by instinct she opens her bra but then it's that exposed feeling and I know she'd of had to feel a bit panicky but I just LOVE the image of Jim right by her side, urging her on, asking her to try, kneading the tension from her shoulders as she is just relishing his touch, him telling her that there's no need to rush 'it's just us' I mean... pure beauty there! Then you brought in the scene from outside the hospital and I wanted to give you a big ole virtual kiss because I always really loved that scene as they finally got it. What I love about it so much here is you really sold me on them making it work together. I don't know if it would have worked had Jim not been there because he helped her relax... gave her permission to take her time. The thing is, of all the things, the moments, the experiences that the Andersons got that should have belonged to Jim, well, to Pam and Jim as a couple, they didn't get this one. This one belongs just to him... to them... and it happened because they worked at it together and they trusted each other. I hope that Pam in particular is going to be able to look at that, see it for what it is. I hope she'll realize that blame doesn't matter any longer, the truth is, she's had all the experiences and he's had none and it's JIM that belongs with her and Cece... not the Anderson's. At this point the thought of Roy sleeping on the couch in her room, helping her with Cece when Jim is there and wants to very much be as much of their ;ives as Pam will allow so the thought of Roy doing... anything, maked me a bit ill. I do have a feeling that when Roy get wind that Cece's daddy is arouns he's probably going to make some last play, try to scare Pam again, convince her that the truth will hurt his mom, whatever he has to do. But I think that Pam, in that one visit to the hotel probably got enough Jim to make her realize she wants him, she loves him and he and Cece don't deserve to be apart.

SOOOOOOO such a beautiful magical chapter, why'd ya have to crush me at the end???? Why couldn't she just lay down and get some sleep while baby and daddy slept? Notice I said baby and daddy but you'll NEVER bear me say baby daddy or baby momma... UGH! (I'm old I suppose!) I worry about how Jim will react when he wakes. Did Pam at least leave him a way to contact her? Serious;y, I was on such a high all chapter and then I read that she picked up Cece from his chest (I mean really, couldn't he have had a nice peaceful sleep with his bundle of joy he was just getting aquainted with asleep on his chest the whole time?? Or at leasr til she woke?? Is that REALLY too much to ask???) but she picks her up and returns where she doesn't belong... I mean to the Andersons. I have a feeling that Pam is going to quickly see more and more that she doesn't belong there. I hope we don't have to wait long at all to see a tight bond form here amongst our sweet little family to be. :::::sigh::::: It would make me just so very happy. Oh and maybe Jim buying a ring... WAIT... he had planned to propose in Scranton, I bet he HAS a ring.... I hope it won't be too ;png til Pam has it. Oh dear... I'm getting way ahead here.

Seriously... this story is getting more and more brilliant and honestly, aside from how extrmelY painful chapter 10 is for me on a personal level (and I know as we have 'talked' that you truly do understand that, this is becoming possibly my very favorite story! (I mean, in getting there it has to beat out 'Learning to Love Again!!' What a feat! This story is just so truly original and you have really put yourself out there by being willing to post it even when it scared you to death. O would say that it has paid off in a big way because it's a truly remarkable piece of work that those that read it I don't think will forget anytime soon.

Now... I need MORE!!! I need a fix soon! You are giving us glimpses of a possibility of a Jim and Pam side by side with Cece in their arms, existing together happily and I need more than the glimpse... please... I BEG YOU!!! I've had some really rough days and WOW what some happiness here could do for me!!! (Is it working? Should I keep pouring it on??? )

Seriously... keep up the AMAZING work and I'd like to put in an order for like... another hundred or so chapters. Thanks!

Seriously... thanks for sharing another chapter!

10

WOW! SO each chapter is getting both a bit more frustrating in some respects and a bit easier to take in others.

Oh Jim, Jim, Jim... when are you EVER going to learn two things? 1) running doesn't solve ANYTHING. You ran from your family. You fell in love but because of the circumstances allowed your dad to poison your mind about the person you loved and you lost her. You ran from Scranton to Stamford from Pam to Karen and what did it solve? Not a thing. Your memories went with you and no matter what you did, you simply couldn't outrun those. Now you've run all the way to Australia and you think you've won. You have a nice change of scenery and while studying you are able to at least live with the memories but really Jim, how long are you going to be able to keep it up? THe only way to get the past to stop haunting you is to stop running and face it. Not to mention, you're missing some pretty huge events in your own life while you are doing all this running. The second thing I wonder when you are going to learn is, if what you are doing is making your dad happy, then HE is controlling your life and you are playing into his hands, not the other way around. I mean really Jim? You really think that you are just THE man now and you have somehow let your dad know loud and clear that this is your life and you're living it your way? You've lived close to thirty years now (I'm assuming you have him the same age he was on the show when Cece was born, sorry if I'm wrong. I'm not even certain of his age on the show right now. Around thirty or just over it I think) you've lived THAT long and you STILL don't know your own dad well enough to know when he's the one in control. How very, very sad. I found it interesting but crazy sad in my mind that 1) his parents, unknowingly to his mom, attended their grandchild's baby shower and 2) Jim heard all about his own baby's shower from his mom. Interesting that Gerry is attending these things. I'm guessing that it's all part of him really keeping tabs on Pam but I have to thinkhope when it all comes out and Pam and Jim realizes the rolr that he played and just how disgustingly manipulative he was that they never let him have anything at all to do with this baby. He is costing his son what we all know would be the very happiest time of Jim's life and he's doing it simply because he doesn't feel that Pam is worthy of the Halperts. I hope that in this case, unlike on the show, that his dad never get the chance to wear a kilt to his wedding because I know if he was MY future FIL and he did these disgusting things there is NO freaking way he would be AT my wedding! UGH! I kept wishing during the phone call that Jim's mom would mention Pam's name and maybe how long ago the accident happened and maybe, just maybe that would at least catch Jim's attention at least a little. If he had just a tiny clue I think he would start unraveling his dad's behavior and he's be able to see that from the time his dad showed up in Scranton he has been playing every move he makes right into his dad's hands and he doesn't want to do that! I can't help but wonder just what the fallout is going to be when Jim finds out that his dad has known from pretty early on just where Pam is and chose to hide it from Jim. I mean, the reason, that he doesn't think Pam is good enough rather thab that he is worried about Pam doing what Katy did is pretty obvious since Pam ran away from all that rather than trying to be any part of it. Oh and BTW, very intereting way of working Katy into the story. I don't know why since we didn't know much about her, but I can see her doing that. I saw where you said on the boards where we will know in the next chapter if Jim makes it for the birth... thinking about it is making me a little ill. I'm wondering if I should skip the next chapter??? It's another of those hitting way too close to home things. It looks lkes some wounds must never heal if reading fan fiction stories can open them back up! ACK!!! Anyhow, I don't know if I have ever despised a character in any of the fan fiction stories I have read, quite as much as I despise Jim's father. Men like this, ruthless businessmen that see people as pawns to be bought and sold, they shouldn't be able to have children! Oh wait! I just thought of something else... so Jim wants nothing to do with his family, wants to be his own man, stand on his own two feet but c'mon Jim. You say all of this and then are obviously allowing your family to support you while you are living in Australia and pay for you to get more schooling for something you KNOW your dad finds to be frivolous. None of this gives you pause Jim? I really REALLY hope you're going to get your brain back before you find Pam again. In the state you are right now you are too stupid for Pam and she would have every right to be extremely EXTREMELY angrt with you and decide to date Roy to spite you because lets face it, while she is deaking with pregnancy without her partner, being unconfortable and sad and lonely, you have been in a months long relationship including spening Thanksgiving with and meeting the new girl's parents. THAT would make me REALLY question if you had ever loved me at all. Then you go and start a new life halfway around the world. All the time Pam is dealing with the new life growing inside her and the fact that she can't REALLY run away from you at all because that part of you that is growing inside of her is always reminding her of you. It's really REALLY time to grow up Jim. Time to actually be your own man, like you were in Scranton. Stand on your own two feet rather than having your family support you. You are going to need to somehow let Pam know when you guys meet again that you are not your dad's pawn or anything like your dad and that you are actually worthy of her on your child. I have faith in you Jim but you have a long way to go!

Soooooo Roy is back. I knew the last few chapters being Roy free were simply too good to be true. I just don't even know WHAT to say about his gift to the baby except ummm, inappropriate! But then, he was trying to get a message across and he did. He didn't get the results he wanted, but the message got across. I couldn't help but get really angry at him when he told Pam, he's never cpming back. I mean, he doesn't have any clue what's going to go on. I just think it's pretty crappy to try to move in on her in such a vulnerable condition. On top of that it's while she is indebted to his family though actually, if the situation with Pam and the baby DID actually put Adele into remission, which, that can't REALLY happen, can it? (Color me stupid!) Then they are WAY FAR indebted to Pam rather than the other way around. The thing is, if Adele is in remission, with no apparent end in sight, isn't it time for them to put an end to this charade? I mean, it was done all for Adele's health because they felt the truth would kill her in her fragile condition. I mean, where is the end to this for Pam??? I can certainly understand Pam's feelings about the baby shower. This is all bringing up again for me, where is Pam's mom? We know that she does some kind of traveling based on Jim's memories when he met her but it seems with her daughter pregnant and having a baby shower and such, it just seems like her mom would do whatever it would take to be around at this time. I mean, her mom could maybe extract her from this situation with the Andersons. Anyhow, I can imagine that Pam, being a small town, sweet girl, would be overwhelmed and not entirely welcoming of this type of a baby shower. I mean, when I had my showers I cannot imagine it being just tons of people that I simply didn't know. I imagine a shower like that would make her crave a Micheal Scott shower. I think she would resent being expected to write thank yous to people she just doesn't know. I bet she always imagined a cozy shower with her friends, family, co workers, people that she cares about and that care about her. This makes me just sad for Pam and for what her first experience of becoming a mom has turned into. I have to imagine about now Pam has to be really beginning to long for something familiar. She's right now just really not in her element at all.

Anyhow, sorry I let the shower thoughts intrude on the Roy thoughts, I'm just REALLY so relieved that Pam, even in a vulnerable state, held her ground with Roy, being adamant that she is glad to have him as a friend and that's all. Then again, maybe with that reminder of Jim ever present, she isn't quite as vulnerable as it seems she would be.

You know, it's nice that Adele is giving Pam permission to move on though she doesn't even know the story, doesn't know what price Pam has Pam mentally on Adele's behalf. Interesting how you were able to work that conversation so it worked PERFECT in both the context of Adele speaking about Kenny and Pam speaking about Jim. Of course, what Adele doesn't understand is that it would I am certain be far easier for Pam to move on if Kenny had been the dad. If Pam knew the father was dead and there was no chance at all of things working out, at some point you have no choice but to move on. With Pam, well, she's the one that walked away ad he's out there. She's never tried to contact him and I can see more and more that she really wants to. I like that Pam is realizing how much she wants Jim and how much she is healing. I know that time does heal wounds but I would bet with Pam it's that timy life growing within her getting closer and closer to being born that is doing more of the healing than time is at this point. Anyhow, I love her thought about if Jim walked through her bedroom door the hurt he caused would not surpass her happiness to have him back. I hope she does have him back and I sncerely hope it happens really soon. They have each suffered too much at his dad's hands and I want to see them come back together, a united front and stand up to the bully!

Another solid chapter. Oh and no matter where you got that line in the last chapter, you put it to BRILLIANT use. It was really awesome and the way you used it was perfect. I'm glad you saved it and used it here. I had a favorite line this time too, not as much as the last one but I really liked it...

Aren’t babies such a nice way to start people?


That was really nice and I liked Pam thinking it while thinking about their baby. I'll be honest, I'm either REALLY looking forward to or REALLY REALLY dreading the next chapter. Do you know how awful it is to just not know which? I admit, I'm looking forward to getting to some fluff here perhaps more than I've ever looked forward to it in a fan fic story. Certainly more than I ever have for a WIP that I've had to wait VERY paitently to get to it. It really is a testament to your skill as a writer that this story honestly has drained me emotionally in many chapters, yet I have continued to come back. You have gotten me so invested in the characters and the outcome that I just have this compulsive need to see it through. Really says a lot for your talent.

Thanks again for sharing!

Author's Response: Our little JIm is never going to learn... But he will soon enough. I promise. Your whole Jim/Pam analysis is very accurate. Jim doens't know that he is only falilng into another trap his dad had set up for him. Gerry is such an evil character, but he will get what he deserves. A little spolier - Jim/ Gerry confrontation chapter is by far my favorite chapter. I can't wait to post it and see ya'll reaction.

Adele is the nicest, right? She's going to play a bigger role and you'll be surprised with how she comes out the other end. When I first began outlining this story, Adele was the one I needed to be there for Pam. Adele was "sane" perso, who pan would ultimately look up too and the reason why she just didn't throw the towel in and left. Their bond is very important to the unvailing of the remainder of the story.

I want to apologize for the next chapter. But I promise the following ones will make up for it. I know this hit too close to home - and I appreciate your sincerity and openess and girl I'm completly devoted to this fic because I know someone out there cares enough about it to really connect to the story and connect with me. everytime there's a review from you I jump on my chair like a kid on xmas eve!

Thanks you bunches, -D

10

I really enjoyed this. It was a very new and unique way of writing and very very well done! I'm wondering, even with the self publishing and such, wouldn't there be SOME way, perhaps some type of mark on the book that would give away exactly at least who bound the book or something. This would be such a wonderful opportunity, if these people were able to find SOME clue as to how to track the author down, for Jim to start his career in journalism. I really hope you will either decide to add to this story or perhaps write a companion piece. It's just such a neat thought and I'd truly love to see it continued!

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with us!

10

Okay, how is it that I could SWEAR that I had reviewed the second chapter of this and yet somehow I just apparently... haven't. I have these wonderful intentions and all. THen again, weird things are happening to my reviews, like when the computer lost the whole long one I wrote for you, not sure if it was for this story of your other. Then, I swear I wrote a long review for that latest chapter of Dedeen's Set Fire to Ice. After I posted I added a comment I remembered that I had wanted to say originally and when I saw the length of my review I was surprised. I had thought I had been typing a lot more and that the review would have been a lot longer. I sometimes HATE rereading my own reviews because I cringe at all my typos. I'm a horrible typist who has never learned to type correctly and also, my keys stick a fair amount I I am often missing letters. I wasn't until days later when something about the review caught my eye and I was shocked and startled to find out that it was cut off like about mid thought and remembering what else I'd had to say in that particular one I KNOW it only poster half of what I actually typed out, if that much. I still want to finish that one, I know I had made a lot of points and now it bothers me that I keep thinking them but they don't really have a voice. (my goodness! Does THAT even make sense?!?!?! UGH!!) Anyhow, so it is NOT inconceivable to ME at least that maybe the computer just swallowed my whole review of your second chapter here, whole and now it's just gone. I agree, not likely but any more I think anything van really happen!

Okay so chapter two was another amazing chapter. It seems to me that in this one Pam is very much trying for a bit of courage and bravado while Jim tends to usually stick with his old fallback of deflecting with humor.

I really like what Pam had to say about the summer. First, for some reasone, not even really sure why,but I like that Pam is the one that started the ball rolling by asking about his trip to Australia. I sense that it was a purposeful move so that he would ask her how her summer was and she could tell him and hopefully help him to understand just how hard it all was. I'm wondering if she is hoping that he'll be able to read between the lines where it's letting him know that it isn't that she didn't want to call him. It's more like she was so overwhelmed with things collapsing in on her, trying to make a new life, adjust to her new norm and find out who she really was, she just really wasn't able to call him at that point. I'm not sure that Pam even realizes completely just why she couldn;t, was it fear of rejection? Fear of what he would want from her? Of his anger? Was it just too much after all she'd already done... I think she probably wasn't quite sure which of those it was or if just maybe it was bits and pieces of each of them.

I like how when Jim asks Pam about her summer and she says interesting, he just really obviously wants to hear about what went on. Here is where I am totally enjoying honest Pam. I love the ways you find to explain what went on and help describe it. I really love the expalination and can totally imagine it being true, that Pam found art classes in Scranton and was really proud of herself pretty much for it because there, she could take these classes and I think one element is she can prove to herself that the doubts that Jim put in her mind back in Boys and Girls about Roy and what Roy wants for Pam, she could erase all that by telling him about these classes and him being excited and proud for her because after all, this wasn't like spending every weekend for some time in the city away from each other along with a two week stretch at the end. Instead, Roy played exactly into the fears Jim had made surface in Pam's mind about Roy and the real reason why he didn't want her to take those classes. I think it was then that she knew that although this whole breakup was years and years overdue, it at very least should have certainly happened after the whole internship blowup because she should have opened her eyes then rather than living in denial.

I adore how honest Pam continues to tell him about cancelling the wedding, the nightmare of the prolonged chicken or fish? period of her life. Having to temporarily move in with her parents, get a car start taking those art classes and then her own apartment, even voicing her frustrations about the white walls.

I also love how this all leads Jim to a flashback of early in their telationship. How it reminded him that way back then he had needed to learn to edit himself and speak on half truths. I also like how you use this as an opportunity to do something that you are the master at, fill in parts of their backstory. You help guide us along so we can see exactly how they got to where they are.

I was feeling a bit frustrated with Jim here. I felt like Pam had really opened herself up and gave him a glimse into her summer and he didn't really share much except for surface stuff. I mean, he couldn't share how tough it was moving away? All he had to say was about big name carsand big houses? Seriously Jim? Even when she throws hm a bone and says that it doesn't sound like his kind of place he just says it's a good change of pace

It's really wonderful though that even though Jim isn't opening up with her, Pam continues being honest and I just adore ths next part. Well, not the part where she shares about Micheal and Oscar, though that's fine. I sense in some ways Jim would like to keep it to 'safe' talk like that but Pam is ready to be honest and is going to share. I just love what Pam has to say about having to figure out who she was without that other person to share it with and Jim automatically assumes she means Roy and comments that they were together a long time. I sense she steals his breath when she tells him that Roy was only part of that. She made it somehow sound as though it was (and of course we KNOW it was) more significant that she had to learn to do things without her best friend. WHat I like about that comment was that it was a nice gentle reminder of how with all these changes in her life, she certainly could have used her best friend to help her cope and get through, but she didn't even have that any longer and it was another hurdle in the mountain of hurdles that she had to climb.

I will say, I'm being a bit hard on Jim here (maybe partly because I'm glad that there's a story here where Pam is being the more honest one and also where it's really putting out there and showing all Pam had to do, on her own, once Jum blew her world apart with his words and then simply left her with all the pieces) I do like that Jim is the one to bring up them remaining in contact after this and tells Pam that he likes to hear thigs first hand.

This chapter is closed in such a reat way, Jim, being Jim, so much wants to see Pam's artwork. I maybe sense a little that missing seeing her art may just be one of the things he misses the most about Pam. For Jim Pam IS art so of course he would just so very much want to see how it's been coming, especially since she is taking these classes. I love that Jim so much wants to see her artwork, and her as well I'm guessing, that he can't help but suggest doning a chat face to face with the webcams. I love that they make plans to do just that the next night before finally ending the call.

Such a contented fwwling when reading about Jim's night of restfull dleep and then oh so Jim to be working on convincing himself that this is nothing even though you know that he suspects that maybe just maybe this is the beginning of EVERYTHING.

I sighed in contentment when th last sentence was about Jim at Target getting Pam the kind of hooks she CAN use on the walls and a quick and easy cookbook. (Maybe he's hoping she'll make something in it for him. I KNOW I am! )

Just a fabulous job expanding on your idea Danielle. You make it sound so real and make me believe that it really could have worked like this. Had they only not had that small misunderstanding that neither were willing to correct. Had one been brave how Pam was here it could have changed so so much. I just can't wait to read what else you have in store for us.

Okay.. ontp the new chapter you posted. I promise I'll work hard to get that review in tomorrow.

Another piece of impossibly brilliant work. I just can't wait to see what else you have in store for them. I can't wait to be able to watch them begin fetting closer. I just can't help how much I adore just how perfectly you write them! So SO great! Can't wait to read more!

Take care T~

Author's Response: I am so sorry I missed this review when going through my replies! I just noticed that I had missed this, I apologize, I know how much energy it takes from you to review, and I feel so bad that I missed seeing this. Yes, this story is another variation on Pam being the bolder one and Jim being the dense one who sort of sits back and waits patiently instead of running off and trying to move on. I don't want to spoil the story for you so I don't want to say too much, but the angst level of this is going to be at a low. I am so happy you enjoyed this chapter and I'm hoping you've enjoyed the others. Reviews sort of just stopped for it so I'm hoping it's not a let down to everyone. Thanks so so much for taking the time to review, it really means so much to me that you're enjoying this story. Thank you! More on the way soon! :)

10

Oh Danielle.... Such lovely, wonderful writing, as always. I owe you another apology, and a big one. I am SO sorry that I am behind in reviewing both of your current stories. They are both so fantastic and you certainly deserve better than me always getting here late. In all honesty, I did just go through what has to be the most painful month of my life. My medications were all messed up, even ended up overnight in the hospital again. I honestly do have good intentions. I come to this page with the new/updated stories on it intending to get through all the reviews and I'll either write one or be half way through one and feel horrible or realize that what I'm saying makes no sense (when does it ever????) So I end up with just the review I've written or deleting the half review and promising myself I'll come back later. I SWEAR I'll make it through this one this time. I hope you don't mind, I'm going to combine my chapters 3/4 review into one. If I didn't, I'd probably NEVER catch up! Oh and quickly... thank you for the nie things you said in response to my last review for this story. I admit, I saw you had responded to all the reviews but mine and I wondered if I had said something or whatever to upset you. Then you came and responded to more but still not mine and wow was I paranoid. I must have read that review a dozen times trying to figure out what I could have said that would have made you just skip it. I was SO freaking relieved to find that you had responded to it and it was just an oversight. I was sure I MUST have done something wrong! OK... onto this awesome story...

Can I tell you, I LOVE that you are redoing this and leaving me with a different ending to a frustrating situation. I know there's plenty more story to go but already this is so much more fulfilling than what we got on the show!!

I love love love Pam waking up and her first thought is about wanting to tell Jim about her dream. You can see that after one phone call things are already so muh better because the lines of communication are open again! I had to laugh at the thought of her taking a picture of Ryan at his desk with her cell. I just kept wondering exactly what Ryam would have thought had he caught her taking it. SO Jim to not accept the first try, of course I think this was probably more in the interest of keeping things going with Pam than really thinking it was an old picture. I was glad that she asked him about IM and that he signed on right away. I've always pictured them as IMing a lot throughout the workday before and after season 3. I think Jim really had two things he wanted to accomplish with pushing for the, can't think of the name of it but the chat where they can see each other. Of course I think he is certainly interested in her artwork and there is no doubt that he not only would have been overjoyed that she was taking classes, but he also would have pushed to see the work she has done first to support her and let her know how much he believes in her and second because he really enjoys what she does and really does want to see it. I think his second reason for wanting that type of a chat is that he had gone far too long without seeing her and he wanted to see her again. He was probably also a little curious to see if she had changed any with her being away from Roy. I also enjoyed in the IM where he commented that Micheal's not so bad. I think it shows that Jim was really missing Scranton, including Micheal.

I really like the thought of Pam going home and fixing herself up for the chat on the webcam. (Saw the name in there so now I know!) She certainly wanted Jim to see her at her best!

I just love this

'
If there were such a thing as Cloud Nine, he would have bet anything that he was somewhere near the seventh of that series.'

That was such a neat way of saying the was he was feeling. You know, where it says here about him knowing he should be angry at her, I don't think that Jim ever really realized probably until they were together and were able to talk things out, just what he did to Pam on Casino Night. He put her in suh an impossible situation and though I love the thought of her giving into him that night and them living happily ever after, I truly believe that had she told him that night that she loved him, broke up with Roy immediately and they had started dating, I believe that relationship would have been doomed. First off, it would have been just wrong for her to treat the end of such a long relationship so carelessly and somewhere in the back of his mind, Jim would have always known how wrong what she did to Roy was. Even if it was for Jim's benefit. Also, I think that after being in a relationship for nearly a decade, one that started in her mid teens when she wasn't even an adult, Pam NEEDED time to figure out who she was. She needed to be able to be out on her own and take are of herself. To have not had that time would have been, IMO, a disater. I think also Jim just didn't get the way he shook up all the pieces of Pam's life and then took off leaving her to reassemble them without two of the main piees, Roy as a fiance and Jim her best friend. He certainly didn't get that Pam had a right to resent and be angry with him for starting this chain of events and then removing himself leaving her without her best friend and chief source of morale support as she went through the most difficult time in her life. It becomes very apparent just how much he doesn't understand what Pam went through or the role he played in the pain she suffered when he was wondering about what she could mean with her comment about not being able to take another kick to the gut.

I just really like the cnversation they are having as they are going through her artwork. I like Jim saying he still considers the Scranton Office building to be his also, again showing IMO that he is missing Scranton. Then I like their discussion abput Diwali and him encouraging her to go. I was glad when he went for it and asked her about the guy she had gone on that date with. I think that we must both think the same that Micheal's comment to Pam about having fun on her date would have stuck with Jim for a long time and made him a little crazy. It's so great to see Jim asking the things he wants to know rather than let the questions fester inside him and drive him crazy I LOVE Pam's reply that there's no one in Scranton that she wants to date. It's a shame that she didn't take it farther and say or in Pennsylvania for that matter. I hear there's one in Conneticut for me. Of course Pam is NO WHERE near that brave yet.

How sweet and SO Jim that when she is having a tough time with showing him her 'real' work, he is able to ease the tension by doing a silly drawing of his own and helping her along. Am I right in thinking that the boy and girl in the picture are supposed to represent a young Jim and Pam? That's just what I had thought when Pam said about adding a baseball cap and some freckles. Oh and I LOVE that the art show that at this point is still a ways in the future, is already mentioned.

I love how Pam then starts catching Jim up on all things DM Scranton, I think it shows here again with Jim wanting to know all about what's going on, that he misses Scranton. LOVE Phyllis Vance, Dunder Mifflin. That made me really laugh! I really like that Pam has enough faith in Jim to tell him about Dwight and Angela without getting a promise not to tell first but I really like that she does insist that he is not able to use that. I think that because Jim really is a good guy at heart and lets face it, his pranks are harmless, so I don't think he would have ever used that anyhow. I think he would realize that THAT would be playing with people's lives. I LOVE though how Jim then makes the connection that it was Angela in Dwight's bed at the convention.

I love the thought of when Jim lays down in bed at night rather than have what most would put forth as what he would think of about her while in bed, (Did that make sense??? I Know what I mean, really!) he is thinking about something as simple and as sweet as having his arm around her at the movies. :::contented sigh:::

Poor Pam! After such a wonderful night, getting to have a video chat and actually SEE Jim and I am sure feel like some things are getting worked through. She certainly knows he wants to keep up communication since he was the one to mention being on IM the next day. But poor Pam's day goes to heck from the start and doesn't look like it wants to rebound but what's this? Even when he isn't there Jim saves the day with his package by first getting her out of Micheal's office to sign for it but then by the package it'self. So sweet and Pam HAS to be starting to realize that Jim's feelings haven't changed. I just LOVE that Jim sent her that! (Bet she ends up using that cookbook to make him dinner!!!) It's wonderful that Pam calls Jim to let him know she got the package and reveals her lousy da and Jim is right there, the way he always was, making it better for her. I an just picture their conversation... hear their voices.

Then she goes to Diwalli and I almost had tears of joy when he came! It became clear to me that he was doing the order form onsolidation early so that he's be able to get out of Stamford, meet Pam at Diwali and give her that hug she needed.

Oh Danielle I just cannot wait for more. I hope we'll hear all about them at Diwalli and I'm wondering if since he traveled do far to get there, maybe he'll go to Pam's for the night and they'll get a hance to REALLY work through some stuff. I am really really excited for more, I can't wait to see what you come up with.

This is absolutely fantastic! I just, I can't imagine having the imagination so wonderful and able to keep coming up with new and fresh ideas. I CAN tell you that I am SO SO thankful for you... and your imagination! (oh and your mad typing skillz!!! )

Keep up the awesome work!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! I again am so sorry I missed your review, I don't even know how it happened. I've got to say that when I replied to everyone's reviews I was all proud of myself like, oh yeah replied to everyone, woohoo! And then I was reading them over a few days later and noticed that I completely missed yours somehow. I would never intentionally do it, and do not fear you never say anything that I'm offended by at all. :) Anyway, you bring up a great point. How Jim just lays in bed and just wants to do simple things like take her to the movies. What I'm trying to show there is how he wants her for her, not for a roll in bed and then that's it. I've read so many stories where all Jim does is fantasize about Pam in bed doing ... you know, that stuff. And I'm sure he did, and those stories are well told, no slight to anyone, but I think that if he's so in love with her, that isn't all he's thinking about. He wants to spend days with her when all they do is pay some bills and go out for dinner, and whatever else normal couples do. So that's why I went with a simpler not so steamy way for him to be thinking right there. I think at this point in the story, Pam does know that Jim's feelings are still there. She has a lot of doubts though, that I'll touch on if I can make it work to sound original, otherwise I'll find some other way to do it. I don't want to spoil what I have planned, and I'm really hoping it's not completely transparent, but I think it would take time for them to build their friendship back up, to regain the trust that they lost in one another. I think still, even over that summer during the way things actually went, I think it took time then too, to get back to where they were. I can't thank you enough for the lovely review, it's really a bright spot in my day. I really appreciate it so much and I'm thankful for you and all of my readers and reviewers and supporters. Thank you. More of this soon. I hope you enjoy it!

Hi. I will say, your writing seems really good but I'm going to be honest with you. I really only read Jim/Pam stories, or ones that at least end happily for the couple. (Okay, I should define that because some feel like if it ends with them both happily with other people then it ends happily. For me the crucial element of ends happily is that they have to be together at the end.) When I read the description and saw Jim/Karen, Pam, I still thought maybe there could be hope, especially after chapter 2 where he seemed hesitant to give Karen the ring. I was hoping you were going to have him put it off until he saw Pam again at the reunion and realized he still loved her but it seems now since you've had them actually get engaged, I think this IS going to actually end up as Jim/Karen so it's probably time for me to bow out. I don't review a lot of stories (not that anyone cares) but it takes me a lot of effort, because I am ill, so I really save that effort for the stories that I am invested in and that are, well, my kind of 'Happily Ever After' if you will.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say, don't get discouraged, I suspect that the lack of reviews have a lot to do with the fact that many others feel the same way that I do. I think that Once upon a time there seemed to be a group that really liked the Jim/Karen stories and I have no doubt that there are still a few out there, but I think that since Karen has been gone for, well, this would be the fifth season, most of the core group of Jim/Karen supporters have since drifted off.

I just wanted to let you know that this just may be the reason for your lack of reviews so don't be discouraged, it doesn't have to do with talent, it has more to do with your audience I would think. I would like to ask, can you see you writing Jim/Pam in the future or do you think Jim/Karen will just be your thing?

(I hope you don't find this rude, it certainly isn't meant to be. I was just thinking that I would get discouraged by the few reviews and just wondered if you had thought that this may be the reason!)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for bringing this to my attention. I completely understand where you and other readers may be coming from, as a long time reader of fanfics I understand the idea of avoiding certain stories due to preference or taste. Although my writing may not support this I am personally a Jim/Pam fan, but this story idea has been in my head for awhile so I felt the need to tell it to whatever audience it may entertain. I plan on writing more stories around Jim/Pam in the future. Thank you so much for being honest with me about your opinions.

8

Wow... a lot of unexpected twists and turns here. Poor Pam obviously is hurting a lot emotionally but she really REALLY needs to let Jim in. I mean, taking care of Pam is what Jim does best and she HAS to understand that first, they should be sharing their loss because they each lost that baby and second that if she hides her suffering and tears from Jim then she can't expect him to know she is feeling anything. Also, going back to work so soon and then the running to and from work after a horrid car accident and a miscarriage, I'm afraid Pam is headed back to the hospital. I'm really worried about them but I have faith that they will work this out.. they have to because they are truly soul mates.

You're doing really good. I am so happy that you are updating so frequently. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks so much-this is such a lovely review :)

10

OMG Tis was absolutely PERFECT! I was laying here thinking just how much I wanted someone to write what happened when they got home and checked the recents page and here thos was! I find this to be so startlingly believable, I swear it's like you are one of the writers just following up on the personalities that you gave these two. I had actually even been thinking about taking a crack at it myself, I was going to base it a little bit on season 2 Conflict Resolution when Jim and Pam were in the kitchen and Pam was going on about how she was certain that Angela had complained about her and after a bit Jim asked "well, what does Roy think about it?' She said, "I don't like to bother him with these things' to which he says 'you mean your thoughts and feelings' and not knowing exactly what he's getting at she just says 'yeah.' I mean, I think we all know what is going on with Jim and Pam here is so much different but it just strikes me so much the paralells here.

Anyhow, I really do love how you bring out that there is so much more going on in both of there minds, but especially Pam's, than what we're seeing. It really does make sense that when Jim is excelling and making something of himself, especially being around with people that are really big deals, that Pam would fall back on the insecurities that she has always really lived with. I can see her wondering if she and the kids could really measure up, would she end up embarassing him in front of the people he wants to impress and would they just kind of become a pit stop for him. A place he goes in between the important things he does and just not really seeing right now that she and the kids will always be his most important thing in life and none of the famous or important people he has to be around will ever measure up to them. BUT, I see why Pam feels that way right now because they have both fallen back on their old patterns of noncommunicating lest is lead to problems and/or issues between them. The lead into their activites later that night felt so completely real and the way you wrote that part, her just wanting him to be in her and him being still, locking eyes and saying "I will never ever, ever leave you Pam." THat just felt so real, so natural and like it was the obvious next step.

Oh and I REALLY Jim telling her that they need to make a decision, one way or the other he doesn't care he'll do either thing but he just can't live apart from her any longer. THIS is the Jim that has always been in my mind. One thing that has really bothered me about him living part time in Philly and even so much more after last week's episode when they had him saying he was enjoying being a bachelor again part time, that just didn't feel right to me and didn't at all sit well because the Jim in my head, the one they created for me NEEDS his family to really function well. THat Jim was unhappy last year being forced into the stint in Tallahassee and now living part time without his family for an undetermined amount of time, and this leading to a real disconnect between him and Pam, I just see Jim as being fairly miserable with things being that way. I also see him as taking it really very hard hearing what happened with the warehouse guy and how Pam could have been very severely injured because I think Jim would have felt like he should have been there taking care of her himself and not needing someone else to save his wife.

Anyhow, thank you for eriting just a truly excellent story. The word needs to get out that there's a new story here because I think people aren't checking much because it's been so dead. I am thrilled that a talented writer, like yourself, who I felt has always written Jim and Pam SO perfectly, came back and is writing again. I REALLY hope we'll see more from you soon! Fantastic job and thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: It's really gratifying to get a review like this; for someone to respond to my story with this sort of enthusiasm and kindness really makes me glad I decided to write it (I had been pretty sure my fanfic writing career was over). I sense we have a very similar take on these characters. I hope you'll take a crack at writing the story it sounds like you have brewing in your head; I'd love to get to read it. Thanks so very much for all your kind words.

10

This won't be long since I'm not feeling well but I really enjoyed this and really even just the idea of it is intiquing. I admit that I really love that you seem to have the kids ages right because for some reason it really bothers me that in mpst stories that mention the kids either as far as what is going on with the kids or mentioning the age or one or both of them people seem to really get them wrong. I don't know if it's Cece coming soon after the wedding and Phillip being close in age to Cece, I don't know what it is but it just seems just about impossible so I LOVE that you got them right. THe house and neighborhood actually sound pretty much exactly like what I can imagine for Jim and Pam so I love that. Oh and I love that Cece is apparently at least wanting to follow in mommy's footsteps with the art stuff. You mentioned Pam's job hunt and I just want to throw out there, Jim and Pam have always adored working together. I will always remember Jim's words (well not his exact words but the gist of them) in the episode Mrs. California where he talks about how much he loves working with his wife and it makes his day so much better and how much he hated that he couldn't see her then because she was on maternity leave. Certainly Athleap (My goodness I have to say IMO Athlead was SO much bettwer!) would have use for either an Office administator or someone to do artistic stuff or even graphic design. I know that Pam failed that one class at Pratt but certainly the comany could hire her and they could even probably be the ones to put pay for her to retake that class and finish her degree. I'd just love to see those two working together again especially since they seem to thrive on the time together and heck, Pam could even do it part time and maybe even continue her mural business she started back in Scranton on the side. All she's need to get going on that is to do a mural or two in their home, maybe Philip's room and the kids playroom and then have a mom or teo see what Pam did and boom, she's in business. Anyhow, sorry, hope you don't mind me throwing ideas out there. I truly HATE thinking of Jim and Pam NOT working together. Oh and if they did work together then I bet they could even work it out so that Pam and the kids if they wanted, would be able to accompany Jim in those rare trips. Anyhow I love so many of the things you included like Skyping with the relatives, I'm sure it's going to really take Cece time to adjust especially when it seems that Pam's mom especially but really it seems the both Jim and Pam's families were very close with their family so it's probably going to be an adjustment even for Jim and Pam. I can't wait to see what's ahead for their adorable little family. I don't know about others but I hope maybe we'll hear that now with them having a little breathing room and I would imagine Jim is making a fair amount of money, especially being the brains behind the entire company, so I'm hoping we'll hear that the Halpert family will be having at least one more baby, hopefully more. (I don't know why but I've always imagined Jim and Pam with a big family. Maybe it's because my best friend's marriage is SO much loke Jim and Pam's and they have a large family. They are the only family I've ever known that I can honestly say they are so happy and love each other so much that if you dropped just their family on a deserted island they would still be happy and content. Most other families I know would kill each other!!!) Anyhow, can't wait to see what's in store.

Oh and thank you so much for keeping the archives going. Just because the show is over ::::SOB:::: doesn't mean their stories have to end. I have a story I REALLY want to write but I confess, I'm just terrified to post something and have people see just how awful I am as an author. I SO admire those of you that not only do it but do it SO well! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this. I wanted to write a response that addressed all of this stuff, but I moved recently, and that was sort of a nightmare. As far as the kids being of the correct age, I've always known what age the kids are (my cousin's two girls are the same ages as Cece and Philip), but because I don't interact with kids that age very often, I'm not sure what they act like. Dedeen has definitely helped me out a bit with that so that not only are their ages stated correctly but that they also act their age. And yes-- I wanted to make Cece a little version of her mommy. I can just see Pam being so proud of her daughter and encouraging her talent in a way that her own parents may not have when she was growing up. I'm not sure exactly what direction we're going to take Pam's career. One idea I had was that in addition to painting murals, she might also teach children's art courses at the gallery she works at. I remember that Jenna's backstory for Pam included a bit about how she was majoring in education with a minor in art. I think she would do great with something like that. Aaand as for Baby #3... I also want that to happen, but I'm not quite sure how it will fit in. We haven't discussed it, but I'd say it's pretty likely to be written in to this because who doesn't love pregnant Pam or Jim holding a newborn? hehe Anyway, thank you so, so much for the comment. I'll keep your suggestions in mind. :) -more_awake