Arrrgh! Was all ready for the date and then **end of chapter** - really enjoyed this one.

Author's Response: Ah so glad you liked this one! The date is coming, don’t worry!!

This was good because it wasn't a smut-fest. It had a good story, something genuinely original, and it was proper Jim and Pam. You took the canon and played with it well, and this story was all the better for it. Nice job and I'm looking forward to the epilogue, smut or no smut.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, it’s great to hear you enjoyed it. Hope you like the epilogue too!

Hmmmmm. So this is tricky because on the one hand, this is, in a general sense, clearly well written and you have a couple of great betas there. It's also the thing with reviews that one wants to leave something positive and constructive, so I hope you take it in the spirit in which my words are meant (also I think possibly the longest review to date I've ever left on anything.)

I've just been trying to work out why this piece was a little "off" for me. It's not that it's smut, no issue with that in itself (check my profile, I have plenty of MA stories favourited!) I think, for me anyway (and others may have a very different view) that it's maybe a bit out of character? Or more not quite "our" Jim and Pam? I feel like it could be any horny couple we're reading about. Some of the best smut on here is pretty graphic, but it retains the emotions and romance between the two characters and we always know it's still *them*; and that's what makes it so good. Even though they may be doing some pretty filthy things to each other, as a reader/shipper you can still feel the characterisations at the core of the action.

I liked the point in the first part where you described Pam's change in her sexual awareness and there was a good call-back to her time with Roy and the difference it made being with Jim.

In re-reading this several times, I think it's that the language is quite brutal for two people so early in their relationship, especially as we know these are two romantics (especially Jim, but I would say both of them.) The tone you set from the first paragraph is SEX! SEX! SEX! It's in the reader's face so soon.

To reiterate, where the great FanFic smut and PwoP fics work so well is that they retain that essence of the characters we love. For myself, I love reading about Pam and Jim being in love, that what I want from my smut as well - for me it's not about titillation, it's about getting what we'd get if The Office had been on HBO ;) so even when they may be screwing each other senseless, I can still tell it's *them* doing it and not any other couple.

I hope this helps. You write well and I'm enjoying your other story.

Author's Response:

Thanks for your review, I definitely appreciate the feedback whatever it is!I guess I wasn't going so much for hyper realistic canon here, more of just a smutty little idea that entered my head. I mean we all know Jim hates dressing up, so I'm not sure I could really see him as Santa :p

Personally I really like some of the stories on here that push their characters slightly more in terms of the relationship or their sexual escapades in a way that they probably wouldn't in canon - I think Snaps or A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood are good examples of what I'm trying to get at. But everyone has their own tastes and it doesn't mean anyone is wrong.

But again, thank you for the feedback, it all helps with growing as a writer! And this is still only my second story (I guess first completed one), so I still do have a lot to learn about fan fic! 

1

OMG, read this on my tea break. This was so satisfying and yet left us on a knife-edge, I hope that next chapter is coming soon!

Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thanks very much for reading and taking the time to review. Next chapter hopefully next week...

1

OK, so I read this already, going back and writing the reviews.

This chapter was utterly brilliant and hilarious in equal measure, especially Jim and Pam totally getting caught by Michael and the entire family (that man needs a slap, really glad Jim steals the key back later) - so, so good!

1

That was absolutely lovely, TPB - thank you so much! You got all but one according to my calculations (and the last one was more trying to think of a seventh thing anyway) - pretty good! SOme nice call backs and left me feeling warm and fuzzy, all the good things. Happy New Year!

1

This got me so excited (and it's not even my Secret Santa story) - so well written, feels very episodic and I can't wait to see where this goes next!

1

Well, this has certainly whet the appetite! Looking forward to more of this!

Author's Response: You'll get it!

Eventually.

Sheer brilliance!

1

This was absolutely lovely, Max.

I was thinking Caddyshack for the film but maybe that was a gopher?

Author's Response: Thanks so much. After missing the buzz from doing a winter holiday fic, I felt the need to put a little something out there for this holiday. Glad you enjoyed.

1

Saw this posted all in one batch, so read the first chapter, got hooked on the excellent writing and read all of the 9 chapters having my morning tea!

I really like the start of this, this is definitely a “putting CN right” but there’s a clarity and vigour about how you set our this chapter that I really liked. Great start.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

Ohhhhhh. I googled him. I remember this now! That's winding back the clock far further than I would care to admit!