Typical slow days at the office with the Ladies of Dunder Mifflin.
Pam. Strike, Counter-strike, Counter-counter-strike. I think she won that battle. Maybe Jim and the men will win the ... next battle.
I love Oscar gamely playing along. I can just see the look on his face, too!
One nitpick - I'm not sure Pam would say "Dang it." I could be wrong.
But, couldn't you just let Karen walk away? Maybe she would have kept going and going. Like a more skanky Energizer bunny. Now, you've given Pam and Karen more reason to band together and bond.
It's Jim and Pam who are supposed to bond. No, not bondage, Muggins. Bonding. Over the condoms in Pam's purse and an agreement to not wear underwear.
Karen's bond? Crazy Glue!
Well, the next battle is about to begin...so let's see who wins. Which prank will bring Dwight to his knees? It's anyone's guess at this point.
I'll take "Dang it" out. I had trouble with that line anyway. I cut 90% of the things she said because there was so much she wouldn't say because a) Karen was there, b) Jim was there, c) Phyllis was there, d) Kevin was there, and e) she assumed Dwight and Angela were there. I can see her saying "damn it" quietly if Phyllis and Angela aren't around.... but what would you suggest?
Skanky Energizer bunny is an image I do not want to think about. That reminds me of those muppets in that sex show...muppets should not have sex. Ever.
Shoot. No bondage? No Karen and Pam bonding? No underwear? Shoot. You are not going to like the next few chapters. I can guarantee that. Okay, I'll cut out the part I was going to write about Pam dying Jim to her bed and then forcing him not to wear underwear to work, but the Karen and Pam boding stuff? That's got to stay. I already had them walk out the door together!
"Always let the guy do all the talking, okay?" Coming from Kelly, I think that's a classic case of "do as I say, not as I do".
You just know that "sweetie" and Jim repeating "sweetie" in his head are my absolutely favorite parts of this. Well, and condom research. You know, Pam should do "field work" in this area as well. I wonder if anyone would be willing to help. Anyone she could call "sweetie" during said field work. You know, just pick the nearest guy to her desk or something.
I love the title of this chapter!
I'm pretty sure there are women who've been embarrassed by a Shrute in public. And men. And children. And plants.
And Pam, keep those condoms handy. Ya never know. Hey Muggins, please have Pam need those condoms. You know who I think should be wearing them. (No, not Creed...) Ooh, or they could spill out of her purse. In front of Karen, Toby, and Jim. And Kevin (Niiice). And then Pam and Jim scramble to pick them up and they grab the same one, fingers touching. And then they use it. Still your choice where and such.
Go an write, go and write! Do I have to do everything? (Heehee.)
Or, you can just, you know, write whatever you want. You know, since you're doing the actual work and stuff. Plus, since my idea sounds like Bad!Fanfic.
I'm pretty sure there are women who've been embarrassed by a Shrute in public. And men. And children. And plants. Hahahahaha! You are so right...especially about the plants. But come on, this is Dwight. He's clueless. Did you see the Volunteer Sheriff's Uniform he was wearing? With a straight face? Ohmigod. But look at it from the Schrute point of view, No Schrute has ever been in public with a woman before. So technically he wasn't lying.
Spill out of her purse. In front of K,T,J, and Kev. P & J scramble. Fingers touch. Condom opened.
Interesting.
"La la la la" Pam skipped into the break room where Karen, Toby, Jim, and Kevin were discussing porcupines. "How do porcupines have sex?" Karen wondered out loud.
"Oh my!" Pam covered her mouth in shock. "Are you talking about Porcupines and sex? I have a photo right here in my purse.. Whoops!" Packages of condoms, a photo of lustful porcupines, and her car keys fell to the floor.
Jim leaped to aid her in her hour of need. As he bent over he spied the photo. He could barely contain the animal in him. That's when his finger accidentally brushed her palm. With a roar (unlike porcupines who are pretty much silent about the whole thing) he ripped open one of the packages and....
Hey why did you hear that? Ice cream truck!!!! I'll be right back!
I sent you an email regarding some questions from another review. Let me know if you didn't get it.
And now for the actual review portion of this review.
You've totally outdone yourself! I couldn't imagine what was happening with those condoms and Creed. (Um, well I usually know what happens with condoms, but... you know... Creed?) I hope Karen does not recover from her freak-out. She should definitely transfer to somewhere with no freaky condom guys, and no Jim. I was so glad that trick was on Karen. Is Jim getting her back for the "not a great kisser" and "kissing lessons" crap? So. Effin'. Deserved.
Double-dating, ey? I'm hoping for the old switcheroo - Jim instead of Mose? After all, Jim suggested a double date in Traveling Salesmen. Of course, he thought his date would be Karen, but...
The line about Mose and the first time at a restaurant made me think of my kids! They've been in restaurants many times, but still, for years there's that "how will they embarrass me this time at the restaurant?" sort of feeling. Mose and his first time at a restaurant would be a hoot. If you don't write it for this story, write it some other time, 'kay? Pretty please with a plate of olive oil for dipping? (What would Mose think of that?) (Dipping bread! Bread!)
Thank you for having Creed actually say "girly-girl". That was great.
1) got your email...you should write professionally..that's all I'm saying. Because you crack me up. Now that's all I'm saying. Lassie and Timmy! Yeah. Now I'm done. Going to read everything on MTT as soon as I have time. Garbage Can letters are now on the list of like 100 things I've got to read. I always feel bad that all these really great writers take the time to review Girly Girl and I haven't even taken the time to read their stuff let alone review it. And yet...I soldier on. I'm a trooper. Or I'm just self-absorbed. Yeah. That's probably it.
By the way, Creed and the condoms was NOT the prank. That was just a happy little coincidence. I just love the idea of Karen leaving because of Creed and not because of Jim and Pam. Too bad I got to stay true to the Canon....oh well.
I already did a sort of date with Mose and Pam in another story. I loved writing that so much that I probably WILL do it again. I'm thinking Mose takes her dancing. I would love to write Pam's reaction when she realizes they've crashed some random High School's prom.
Creed's saying 'girly-girl' was really weird. I had already written that whole section when Almost Once wrote a Badfic! Review over at TWoP talking about that. I should have changed it but I was too lazy.
Hmm... what are Jim and Dwight planning? I must know, but I won't be back here until Sunday night! Darn Easter! (Happy Resurrection, Jesus. Sorry your party's getting in the way of reading fanfic.)
I love "but…Pam included?"! And “That Mexican doll is a real screamer. Don’t get me started on what she does when you get her upside down.” - so funny.
Thanks for the Girly-girl.
Happy Resurrection, Jesus. Sorry your party's getting in the way of reading fanfic Wow. Just wow. All these years going to Easter Sunday and never once, NEVER ONCE did the Priest give Jesus a shout out on a Happy Resurrection! Really, I've never thought about it before. It's like why do we always say Happy Birthday and not Happy Deathday, huh? What's up with that? I think Michael is going to have to have a philosophical talk regarding this very subject on his birthday. You don't mind if I steal.... hey and the party got in the way of my writing fanfic.....it was like I went through withdrawal. Instead of writing I had to bleeech, talk to people...so useless. Fanfic - if it's wrong, I sure enjoy being wrong.
Michael's math! Wow! I like how Pam is mad because she didn't get credit for cracking Michael's math code. Actually, that whole math code thing is fantastic. Of course Michael would have a whole different sense of numbers. This is a guy who yearns for ketchup fights he has to have a whole lot of weird quirks.
Hooray for a callback to the Diwali book. Pam seemed extremely interested in that book. (Pam, they have a condensed version at Barnes and Noble. The pics aren't as nice, but you should still pick up a copy and share it with Jim.)
And your party planning committee meeting interrupted to discuss nymphomaniacs? "This is the best meeting we've ever had" (/Kevin).
No Karen in this? Did she fall down a well? Excellent!
So glad for more girly-girl. I'm still wondering where the condoms ... come in (automatic TWSS).
Really? Barnes and Noble...hmmm Condensed how? The pamphlet they got looked pretty lean already.
Can not wait to have Toby get back at Pam for the "you look very, very nice" prank. That should be...awkward.
The condoms are...wait! You haven't figured it out YET! Oh man. I'll give you a hint - Creed. Okey-doke?
I am greatly enjoying this story. Whenever I see it has been updated, I rush right in to read it.
It's really you! (/Pam)
I was so glad to see a new chapter up! I love girly-girl truth or dare!
Okay, I feel slow. Like Michael-slow or Roy-slow. I don't understand why Jim is quite so mad...? Will I find out in further chapters or am I just that slow? I did re-read a bunch, and still don't get it.
Other than that - Lovin' this! And Ryan's comments at the end... yay!
Yes, Jim. By all means, ask Laurel and Hardy for advice. (Hee hee.)
Need...longer...chapter. Awaiting next (at your convenience).
Yes, Jim. By all means, ask Laurel and Hardy for advice! (OK! That. Was Hysterical!)
You want to know how pathetic I am? I loved your comment so much I was trying to think of a way to include it... so I'm like "Hey, Laurel and Hardy were in the movie 'The Flying Deuces' AND Michael wants to 'drop a deuce' on everyone. Surely I can weave that in..." Honestly I scare myself sometimes. And my boyfriend thought the Betty & Veronica reference was TOO obscure....
You have no idea...what your new chapters...mean to me. (Those and Squirrel McPants updates are major highlights right now!)
I laughed when I saw the chapter's title. I laughed and snorted (think Jim/sombrero/we broke his brain) that Ryan said he'd check his underwear drawer. (Hey, doesn't everyone have an underwear drawer?) I liked that Meredith went to do the dare, the Angela/Meredith interchange, actually "basically, like, everything that is Meredith" (/Kelly).
I don't think that Pam would really ask Jim to talk later in front of Karen, no matter how much she downplays it. Remember in A Benihana Christmas, where she so timidly gets Jim's attention and gives him his gift, glancing over to Karen? Even knowing that Jim knows about the sketches, Pam would definitely be very careful around Karen. (Well, if she wants her eyes from being scratched out.)
Loved Jim's description of what happened to Michael and that little Jim/Pam moment. Let's see more little Jim/Pam moments ON THE SHOW! We're dying here.
Awaiting Pam's "Truth" answer. BTW, I NEVER play truth or dare. The secrets! The embarrassments! But, being a fly on the wall for Truth or Dare of others? Priceless.
Oh, and can we see what prank Pam has for Kevin? (Sits up and begs - not proud.)
I could just hug you! You are dead on about Pam. She would never ever ever seriously ask Jim that in front of Karen... unless, of course... oh, you KNOW there's an of course!!! And I don't want to give tooooo much away but let's just say, Pam has her reasons... And no...those reasons do not include removing Mr. Halpert's pants. Although, God, a girl can dream. sigh.
Let's see more little Jim/Pam moments ON THE SHOW! We're dying here. From your lips to Greg Daniel's ears!
Oh, and can we see what prank Pam has for Kevin? I solemnly promise that sometime in the next 14,977 chapters that prank will come up.
(Sits up and begs - not proud.) I also solemnly promise that sometime in the next 14,960 chapters, I'll use that line because it just makes me sooo happy. I'm thinking Dwight... but Jim would be an interesting candidate...
And finally Meredith. Should have her own show. That's all I have to say on that subject. I'm hoping she lives to the end of the story... kinda worried about Angela's stability....
Oh, and can we see what prank Pam has for Kevin? (Sits up and begs - not proud.)
Hey Muggins, use any of my "lines" you like. Thanks for the mention on TWoP. Any more of that and I may have to delurk there, too (darn you, Muggins! As if I'm not ignoring my family enough with this Office obsession.) Oooh, I'm OO - Office Obsessed. Feel free to use that. Also "full frontal dating". Quote me on that one though; that's all mine from this crazy brain.
Author's Response:
Full frontal dating? That sounds painful. hmmm... two wary predators, the monkey and the possum.... circle each other... and suddenly THE ATTACK!!! "Your tires are looking low, Angela." "Could you bend over and check, Dwight?" "Angela! Stop that! We're in the Dunder Mifflin Parking Lot!" Maybe that should go in the JUST PLAIN WRONG category.
What you've got to do is get your family obsessed too. That's what I did. Start by playing the Theme Music real low while they sleep....
“It’s not tuna oil. It’s just cooking grease.” Gosh, I hope no shunning has to take place!
Carolina ham and gruyere cheese toasted lightly on egg-battered bread. When she read it, her first thought was ‘I should bring Jim here’. Oh, so sweet! I like how Pam is thinking about Jim, while Karen is busy making fun of Will and Grace (Well, maybe Will and "just Jack") at the next table.
Cerise hated large groups of women. They were always very demanding and rarely forgiving. Muggins, have you waitressed? Are we women really that bad? My sister has waitress; I'll have to ask her if this is true for her!
Based on Mose's disposition NOT to leave the farm, I suspect a whole heckuva lot of shunning took place. He might be in permanent shun mode.
Does Karen even know that Jim likes Ham & Cheese?
Ah, waitressing... my sister was the busgirl and I was the waitress at this all-you-can-eat buffet in High School. The worst - the elderly. Lousy tippers, lots of demands. next worst - large families, lots of clean-up, lots of demands, tips eh. Large groups of women are much worse than large groups of men - lousy tippers, very demanding, and give no slack. It's like they try to outdo each other to prove something. "Oh look, my glass has a chip! Waitress!" which leads the next woman to "Do you have Nutrasweet? I can't stand Sweet n Low! You don't? Well, you should get some! Really, if you asked, you'd find out more people like Sweet n Low!" And so the next woman, "Take this back to the cook. I'm dieting and can't have any . I told you when I ordered. I'm sure I did. You just weren't listening!" But still not as bad as the elderly and out of control kids.
I loved Pam's more detailed explanation of "cold feet", and Phyllis's and (unexpectedly!) Angela's support of her. So nice. I love this story; I'm having so much fun with it.
And hey, if Pam thinks Jim needs a hug --- go hug him, Pam! (We all wish.)
I had an idea about doing an AU where, in The Injury, instead of Dwight rushing off to save Michael, Michael gets his wish and Pam comes to get him. So SHE'S the one who gets the concussion. Let's just say that's the ONLY way I can picture Pam hugging Jim when he needs a hug. And in the AU, he ALWAYS needs a hug! So I'm crossing my fingers that Greg Daniels gets it together and gives us HeadTrauma!Pam!
Ooh!!! Great question! We could rephrase as:
"Karen: Lady ... or TRAMP?" (Imagine Kevin-like giggles here.)
I LOVE Pam's last line. No big deal made, just "Yeah. I forfeit"! (Take that Karen, you tramp!) (Apparently, Karen transferred from Trampford, not Stamford in your story.)
I loved whatever was happening in Michael's office. No ideas from me on that.
I'm having so much fun with this.
Muggins, I love so much... about the way you choose to be.
To start at the end - KAREN! Evil. I'm sure Jim never said Karen was a better kisser. Yuck. And Karen still thinks there's any possibility of a marriage proposal? Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, I guess. (Okay, is that something Michael might say? You know there's a shelf life on these expressions... heehee.)
You really have Michael's voice down. Loved the "bi-- biig biig sale" (I paraphrase), the Stryofoam thing, and how he interacted with Dwight. Perfect. Also Pam noticing that the mouse was under the desk.
Angela and the whole time of the month thing? So funny. All of the interaction there between (/among?) the women was so good.
I hope Phyllis forwards Jim all the secrets about Pam. He can find out she was sad at the luau (but not PAM-M-S-ing), find out how evil his trampy girlfriend is, etc.
And... best use of 'sashay' in Office fanfic. Maybe the only use of 'sashay' in Office fanfic, but still best.
I'm continuing not to de-lurk in TWoP, because you are the boss of me. Now... I'll go get back to my life (well, after checking whether anything else is new on MTT). (To self: Don't go check OfficeTally. Don't go catch up on TWoP spoiler spec. Don't ... just don't".)
Awaiting more girly-girl. I just love girl talk.
P.S. I am wearing green today, but that's okay, because green is no longer whorish.
mind overload! too much to respond to!
uhhh random throw out - I totally stole the Stryofoam thing from my boss. He said that whole thing about the teeth and everything literally seconds before I wrote it. I was laughing so hard! Never, ever has my boss done anything Michael and then all of a sudden: Get me the Starbucks stryofoam! Huh?
Oh, YEAH, she's lying!
Didn't Jim get hopeful the day before, when Phyllis told him about the sketch book? Maybe when Phyllis said a lie was involved, and he didn't know what the lie was, he wasn't sure whether to be hopeful.
I LOVE Pam's response, standing up in fury like that, and the staredown. I LOVE this whole story so much! I adore Stanley giving the password (w/o even being asked) and then saying to leave him out of it.
The little Oscar/Angela moment you snuck in there? I saw it. Priceless.
I love "His body involuntarily shuddered." Imagine if Karen saw that response to the possibility that she was the better kisser. And yeah, "I am taking you down!" sounds like a great new mantra for Pam!
Hurray for more girly-girl!
Nice try on the "wasn't he hopeful yesterday" jazz, Too Late Kev. But he wasn't hopeful because he had NO PROOF. He just had a dreamy wouldn't that be swell kind of thing going. But now...now he thinks he's got proof. He saw for himself how Pam reacted to Karen when she received that Email.
But everything else... Stanley, I looove him. Oscar I so empathize with the guy. And Angela, she's a sublime angel who needs a spanking. Oh, and the "shudder"? I just wrote that for me because I had to. I had to.
Wow. Just... wow.
Always SO happy to see a girly-girl update. Thanks!
Muggins, ditto on just seeing the Chapter Title and then "Previous"! No chapter content. I am not content with no chapter content. It's late, I promised myself I could read girly-girl or squirrel (or a few other choice things) if they were there, and I was so excited to see the chapter and... THUD.
Oh well, glad to see the problem's been reported. I may have to wait until tomorrow to read - ugh.
Wow. CAN Karen find nice things to say about everyone? We'll see.
And, from where I was sitting (on Casino Night), Jim looked like a pretty decent kisser. I mean, THAT was a life-changing kiss! I'm surprised that Pam would laugh at Karen's (fairly mean) comment about Jim's kissing, but I guess it was more because it was unexpected? Still, poor Jim. Now he has reason to be angry!
Anyway, thanks for more girly-girl!
Now, now Too Late Kev. Pam has been under a lot of stress today. She thought she'd have to punch Karen in the face and now all that tension's suddenly released. She would have giggled at anything Karen said just because of that! Don't tell me you don't do silly things like that when your nerves have been at the breaking point. But yeah, it was mainly because it was unexpected and SO WRONG!
And Jim? Was trying to listen in on a private conversation! He got what he deserved! Eavesdropper!
Oh, yeah, definitely Scout's honor on "tomorrow's" chapter. Of course, I quit Scouts like 33 years ago, so... take my Scout's honor for what it's worth. (Nada.)
I LOVE Jim's reaction to Karen's evil "not a good kisser" and Jim frantically searching the emails for anything to do with him or with Pam. That whole Jim paragraph is a-MA-zing!
And Karen thinking that Jim's going to be proving what a good kisser he is tonight? Honey, you are so in denial!! You just dissed the guy to Pam and you both laughed. I hope Karen remembers the last time Jim kissed her, because that could be the LAST time ever!
Kelly's "nice things" about everyone were hilarious!
Muggins, thanks for the chapter! I look forward to the next one!
Once a scout...always a scout, isn't that the scout motto?
Oh Too Late Kev have you not learned from the underhanded devious ways of Karen yet. Our boy is not out of her clutches yet! Thank you for all the compliments! They make me all blushy.
I love that Karen just joined up with the card-buying brigade. I can just see her catching up with them and saying"hey, what's going on?" casually, as if she didn't just haul ass to get there (in a desperate attempt to hold on to a guy who's just not that in to her). And, yeah, she fit in with Pam and Jim great. It was like peanut butter, jelly, and... a rock.
Author's Response: It was like peanut butter, jelly, and... a rock. Beautiful! Beautiful! Why aren't you writing for the show?
Aww, Muggins! I love the way you changed your April Fool's entry to be a real chapter!!
Of course the Jim and Pam part is my favorite. May I suggest another line - "We'll have 2 ham and cheeses over here, and ... Karen, why don't you grab a different table? Pam and I want to be alone..." I'm pretty sure Jim can eat one-handed, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
Well, my original lines were "We'll have 2 ham and cheeses to go because I'm going to be taking the receptionist out to my car to pork her silly and hey, Karen? Nice meeting you. Maybe I'll see you in the next life." Unfortunately, I had to cut that part because my wordcount was a little too high. Oh and I'm pretty sure Jim can eat no-handed, if you know what I mean. AND I THINK YOU DO.
Uh, yeah,... kinda thought so. But fun!
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