Date: August 02, 2007 11:30 pm Title: Daybreak
First off, this is quite the sexy piece and you are the queen of the cliffhanger chapter endings.
What I find most interesting here is the way you carried out the phone sex: not a lot of mentions of anatomy and not a lot of descriptions of particular actions. I like how you did this. You got around a lot those elements that would have been distracting. Jim and Pam saying particular porn-y words would have detracted from the characterizations.
Not revealing what exactly what's going on on both ends of the phone call is an interesting device. It leaves more to the readers' imaginations and, again, gets around having to use particular terms that we just aren't used to Jim and Pam using. It also really highlights the banter between these two. It's what they do best. Also, you weren't kidding when you said you were going to show off the "new" Pam.
I think my favorite parts are in the middle chapters when Pam asks Jim some particularly revealing questions and he simply responds simply with a "yes." I don't know why - maybe it's the direct honesty without hiding behind the joking - but it's very sexy.
Author's Response: Thanks for this, blue! You're right; I didn't think these characters would suddenly reveal rich, porn-y vocabularies, so I did exactly as you say... wrote around it, as much as possible. The decision to limit the story mostly to dialog (as opposed to description) ended up cutting both ways: it was useful for the first six chapters, but it made the concluding chapter extremely difficult to write, and I think in some ways very awkward. I agree that the middle chapters are better. I really appreciate you taking the time to write such a thoughtful review!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 07:49 pm Title: Daybreak
I cannot talk.
Author's Response: Sorry, NeverEnoughJam! :)
Date: August 02, 2007 05:44 pm Title: Daybreak
Wonderful! I love that you've kept so much realism in this from the beginning - Pam getting the giggles for a moment was very believable. Really enjoyed them getting down to it as well - overall a very nice first night "together"!
Author's Response: Thanks, Semby! I thought giggles would be in character; she's embracing the Brave New Pam persona, but there are limits, especially with so much wine in her system.
Date: August 02, 2007 02:41 pm Title: Daybreak
I think I saw John Lennon
I love this line! There's something absolutely Jim about that.
Great story; I like that you ended it when you did. But I still want more stories from you :)
Author's Response: I'm glad it didn't go on too long for you, secondrink! And thank you!
Date: August 02, 2007 01:36 pm Title: Daybreak
Pam naked under a trenchcoat -- even better than the post-coital wearing boyfriend's dress shirt.
But I wouldn’t speak, because I’d be working this mysterious-woman-in-a-trenchcoat thing. She's so damned cute!
This has been lovely, Annabel. I am always looking forward to more from you.
Author's Response: Thank you, lisahoo. I had a great time writing it, too!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 12:28 pm Title: Daybreak
Looooooved it.
Brain is a nice, melty goo right now.
And as much as I hate missing out on that barn dance...well...this was probably better. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, I Know This Much Is True. I'm glad the sacrifice was worth it. ;)
Date: August 02, 2007 12:06 pm Title: Daybreak
I was half hoping that Pam would ACTUALLY show up. Ok, maybe more than half.
Author's Response: Ah, but they were hours away from each other, speaking on land lines, and had both downed a bottle of wine. No one could go anywhere. I was sort of hoping the same thing, chiquiti!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 09:25 am Title: Daybreak
Beautifully Written! I loved it! I love your writing style - do you have one where they are actually TOGETHER if you get my drift? BTW - I loved your very witty comebacks, especially Pam's. I speak fluent Stupid! HAHAHA I am talking to the President of Spain! giggle
Author's Response: Thanks, Sevian! You could try Open, though that is pre-The Job.
Date: August 02, 2007 08:15 am Title: Daybreak
Wow. Seriously. This is just too good. Each chapter built so nicely from the last. Wonderful work, Annabel.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, bitterpill!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 07:21 am Title: Daybreak
I HAD to read it again, Annabel, and I had a smile on my face the whole time (haven't stopped smiling from the first reading actually). Loved "I think I saw John Lennon”--so funny! I think that's what I like best--the fact that you are so great at balancing the humor and eroticism (50 center word there which I don't get to use nearly enough). So looking forward to your next creation--whatever it is : )
Author's Response: Thank you again, NanReg! That's a wonderful compliment! I really like the show because it balances the real and the mundane with the quirky and the farcical. I've tried, in a very small way, to duplicate that here.
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 07:10 am Title: Daybreak
That was amazing! “So sweet, I’d decide to write you a letter there...I’m not sure what about. Something with a lot of ‘S’s and ‘O’s in it." Unbelieveable. You simply MUST do the sequel describing their real first date. I would rate this 100 if I could!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, NanReg! So many talented people have already tackled the real first date; if I can think of some sort of different twist, I might do it.
Date: August 02, 2007 04:43 am Title: New Territory
Wow. This was awesome. But the biggest thought in my mind is oh please please do another chapter when he comes home! Cause after reading this... yeah, you would write it very, VERY well. You must share your smutty gifts! We would love you (even more) forever! 0:)
Author's Response: Thank you, koneko! As for a follow-up chapter, not in Talk; maybe in a sequel called Physical Presence. ;)
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 04:03 am Title: Daybreak
while I do love a good barn dance, this is nice too. Actually, this was hot, and believable - not too serious, but still very sexy!
Author's Response: I'm glad you're not too heartbroken, kells8995! And thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 03:18 am Title: Daybreak
My nipples are so hard right now, they could cut glass! That's how amazing this story is. Very nicely done! :o)
Author's Response: Well, good! That compliment was the most extreme compliment of all the compliments. Thanks, officefreak!
Date: August 02, 2007 02:20 am Title: Daybreak
“Speaking of impressive,” he says, “what in the name of God just happened? I think I saw John Lennon.”
Um, me too. I totally saw John Lennon.
I'm also incoherent. Wow.
Author's Response: Thanks, lesslikeyou. That was the one line that made me smile when I read it back. I'm glad you liked it too!
Date: August 02, 2007 01:47 am Title: Daybreak
Who's regretting there not being a barn dance? This was SO much better than all the barn dances I've ever been to.;)
So very good. I loved it. :)
Author's Response: I have never been to a barn dance, so I have no basis for comparison. It's good to know! ;) Thank you, Cassandra Mulder!
10 [Report This]Date: August 02, 2007 01:38 am Title: Daybreak
Great finish! This was definitely a hot story.
Applause!
Author's Response: Bows, The Famous larrymcg!
Date: August 02, 2007 12:43 am Title: Daybreak
Awkward, yet not unsexy. I'm still waiting for that barn dance fic.
Author's Response: And that is definitely one for the dustjacket. I completely agree, actually. It is awkward.
Date: July 29, 2007 08:38 pm Title: Exchange
This fic is really great. I love the banter, I keep laughing out loud. You're doing such a great job, I absolutely love this I can't wait to read more
Author's Response: Thanks, redziggy!
Date: July 29, 2007 03:07 pm Title: Exchange
Niiice. Only one chapter left? I'm sure I'll still be craving more - this is fabulous.
And, ahhh, the story about the time she called him when he was coming in from jogging - awesome! I think I'd get distracted from what I was intending to say as well.
Author's Response: Too many smutcakes will spoil your supper, Semby. And thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: July 29, 2007 11:53 am Title: Exchange
I remember hiding one of my co-worker's fancy pens in my bra....that highliter comment just brought back some very good (hot) memories. ;o)
Author's Response: Oh, officefreak, of course you did! ;) I'm glad to have fueled your nostalgia.
Date: July 29, 2007 09:39 am Title: Exchange
This is perfect. It's just this great blend of sexy and smut and love and humor and I love this. So much.
Author's Response: Thank you, lesslikeyou!
10 [Report This]Date: July 29, 2007 02:17 am Title: Exchange
Wow. Another terrific chapter! Thanks for writing this story. It's one of my favorites.
Author's Response: Thank you, The Famous larrymcg! I see it made an appearance in Where They Write About Us, which was extremely awesome of you.
10 [Report This]Date: July 28, 2007 11:42 pm Title: Exchange
Dear God, please let them get to the chair :) I kid, I kid. I can't think of the proper adjectives for this so I'll just say it was splendid & I love every word of it. How you have kept the *hot* factor going for 6 chapters is beyond me. You have skillz!
Author's Response: Thank you, banana slings! It's all done with mirrors and invisible wire.
Date: July 28, 2007 10:21 pm Title: Exchange
whew. very, very good. Well played.
Author's Response: Thanks, Stablergirl!