Date: April 10, 2008 09:37 pm Title: The Initiation
Really sweet and heart breaking. Very well done!
Date: November 18, 2007 07:16 pm Title: The Initiation
I loved both of their POV's here but was sad that they both felt optimistic after the phone call and yet we know how that will go.
Date: November 18, 2007 04:41 pm Title: The Initiation
I like your use of "Hello/Goodbye". I would love you even more if you somehow worked "Hello, Goodbye" by the Beatles into this :).
Date: November 14, 2007 11:04 am Title: The Initiation
*Of course* that's why he calls her Beesley. Sigh.
Are you sure you're new at this?
Date: November 13, 2007 09:21 pm Title: The Initiation
so i had to come back and tell you that this is amazing!
so spot on and well written!
my favorite part?
She won't think of when she tripped decorating, spilt paint all down herself and ended up sat on the cold tile floor, crying because it could have been hilarious and it just wasn't.
Author's Response: THANK YOU :) I'm glad you enjoyed and I'm glad you picked out that bit. It's probably my favourite part of that chap too, in fact I had that line before I had most of the chapter.
10 [Report This]Date: November 13, 2007 12:06 pm Title: The Initiation
The juxtaposition between the Jim/Pam's perspectives is great... How she wants to tell him everything but just focuses on keeping the conversation going, how he wants to keep her on the line so that she'll speak to him... "tell me. just tell me". so sad, so poignant, so utterly jim and pam and hesitatingly, apprehensively frustrating.
i love this line: "Tomorrow he'll try harder. Tonight he'll let himself dream."
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your comments. As much as it's great that they're talking and laughing again, there's definitely such a frustrating undertone to that conversation so I'm glad you felt it captured here. Thanks again :)
Date: November 13, 2007 08:58 am Title: The Initiation
Excellent fanfic, shootingstars. I am enjoying this story very much. Keep it going. Don't goodbye it.
10 [Report This]Date: November 13, 2007 06:26 am Title: The Initiation
hmmm, what if they HAD talked all night? They could've.
Another brilliant installment. I'm so glad there's going to be more to this. You take these really sad moments and make them interesting instead of just sad. So... way to be sad AND interesting!
Author's Response: Thanks so much :) Yes there will definitely be more, The Merger is up next. I'm glad you find it interesting, I don't want it to be too depressing. A lot of sad Jim/Pam moments also say a lot about the characters and their relationship so I guess thats what I'm trying to get across. Glad you're enjoying :)
Date: November 13, 2007 05:15 am Title: The Initiation
Lovely. I like how you characterized each of their reactions to that call - really rings true. I always felt that phone call was a turning point in a way - reopened the door a crack, but the fears too - subtly set a lot of what happened after in motion (in fact I once wrote a story about just that, lol.) Anyway, very nicely and cleanly written.
10 [Report This]Date: November 13, 2007 05:01 am Title: The Initiation
This is really good. I look forward to more. :-)
Date: November 13, 2007 04:57 am Title: The Initiation
I could have sworn I left a review for the first chapter, but I see that I didn't and shame on me. This is wonderful. You hit all the right emotional moments during the phone call and fleshed out the unspoken words and feelings exactly how I imagined them.
He's not sure whether resisting the urge to hang up is courage or weakness. He doesn't care.
This is perfect Jim. Beautifully done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much :) This is my first attempt at Office fic so I'm glad to see you're enjoying it!
10 [Report This]Date: November 12, 2007 09:42 pm Title: The Initiation
I love this. It's so well-written, and so in character. Two parts really stood out to me:
She won't think of when she tripped decorating, spilt paint all down herself and ended up sat on the cold tile floor, crying because it could have been hilarious and it just wasn't.
It just evokes so much with so few words. (Um... now that I've quoted I see a typo, but I didn't notice it the first two times I read it :) And:
Every day in Stamford feels like an effort. Talking to her hurts but making her laugh still feels like the easiest thing in the world.
That's exactly the impression I got from that conversation -- that despite everything, they're still more themselves when they're together. Sigh. And, ouch. I hope you keep going until you get to happier times :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm a big fan of your stuff so this review really made my day. I'm glad you think it's in character because this is my first fic in this fandom and I'm relatively new to the Office (DVD marathon got my all caught up) so I'm obviously hyper-aware that I could go OOC while I'm getting the feel of the characters.rnrnI'm glad you noticed the point about how easy is it to be themselves when they're together because for me, that's the most powerful thing about that whole conversation. Everything is different and things should be wierd but they just slip into how they should be because it feels right.rnrnAnd thanks for the typo notice, although I have to admit I've been staring at that sentence and I can't see it. Probably because I've been looking too long. What is it?rnrnThanks for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it. And yes, the plan is to end this when they finally hit a hello, hello moment :)rn