1 [Report This]Date: August 13, 2020 07:18 pm Title: Prologue: “Hot Girl”
I like the two prologues--I hope you'll come back to write the main story, because the emotional beats are set for a good one. I'll look forward to it!
Date: June 29, 2020 02:22 am Title: Prologue: “Hot Girl”
Pam and Roy’s interaction is just plain miserable. Neither of them sound happy in their relationship at all.
Jim’s point of view is super sad also. I kind of feel for Katy here, Jim seems pretty conscious of the fact he’s basically using her because he can’t have what he actually wants (Pam).
You’re certainly setting up the angst of the backstory nicely here.
1 [Report This]Date: June 28, 2020 01:37 pm Title: Prologue: “Hot Girl”
Another good set up chapter. Interesting there with the fight between Pam and Roy. They both do have legitimate points. Roy's a jerk for bringing Katy back up like that. However I felt he also had a point if Pam is constantly gushing about Jim to her Mom. That made the fight feel very real.
Oh Jim. There you go being as hopelessly in love with Pam as ever. Great way to get into his mindset.
Really looking forward to getting into the meat of this story.
Author's Response: Thanks for all the kind words. I also can’t wait to get into the main part of the story. Just wanted to show that not all is well in Pam-Roy Land.