You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: support_the_rabid Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2007 09:21 pm Title: Chapter 1

I love how you broke the scenes out into types. I was thinking of TO scenes that fit each category as I read. Fantastic as usual!

Reviewer: nomadshan Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: January 02, 2007 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 1

Your repeated elements are perfect here. I'm in Love with your prose - you give us just enough to discern the context. Ah, beautiful.

Reviewer: PuffingNoise Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 10, 2006 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 1

Really sweet. And poetic. I loved this.

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 10, 2006 04:18 pm Title: Chapter 1

I so loved these.  I loved that each chapter had a "Things are....." that tied them all together, especially the "Things are finally put back together".    Your stories never disappoint and I thank you for them all.

Reviewer: Colette Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 10, 2006 05:00 am Title: Chapter 1

As the saying goes, 'less is more.' Each of these feels like a perfect crystallized moment in a believable progression. And there's just something about Jim's shirt sleeves in particular that makes this very specific (they're kind of an iconic image of the show, in fact!) This: her fingers absently rub circles just below his wrist; then: her hands slipping up his coat sleeves for warmth - both so intimate - even sensual - in the most understated way. And lastly, I like that you ended in the parking lot - full circle (and about time something good happened there.)

Reviewer: xoxoxo Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 10, 2006 03:42 am Title: Chapter 1

Though I'm looking forward to see what you view as more "substantial" I am so thankful you've shared this much with us.  The last image you left us with is my favorite.  I'm smiling just imagining it in my head.

Lovely job as always. 

Reviewer: NeverEnoughJam Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 10, 2006 03:06 am Title: Chapter 1

Beautiful lines: It’s three years of habit when he slides the second half of his sandwich over to her and takes her carrot sticks

and

 he says something that makes light spill all over her face

Thank you for both of them. 

Reviewer: fireworkfiasco Anonymous 9 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 11:35 pm Title: Chapter 1

I love the "__________ Scene" title thing. And I love the sleeve theme. And I love roman numerals. And how "Third Parties" are mentioned but not named. And I love JIm. And you. <3

This is fantastic; the last one is particularly beautiful. That image of her hands snaking up his sleeves makes me all sorts of happy. Thank you!

Reviewer: Amalia Kensington Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 10:27 pm Title: Chapter 1

I think that in that last scene, her sneaking her hands up his coat sleeves is something that's so wonderfully intimate and just so sexy. Wow.

Thanks so much for this!

cheers.

--Lex 

Reviewer: Morning Angel Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 09:56 pm Title: Chapter 1

You said so much with so few words.  Very evocative.  Your writing is always great, but this is even more gorgeous than usual. 

Reviewer: nqllisi Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 09:17 pm Title: Chapter 1

Beautiful- almost impressionistic. I'm waiting for this moment: She smiles, fully, and it looks like it’s been too long. I think a lot of us will smile once these two finally work things out. Gorgeously done.

Reviewer: jandjsalmon Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 08:13 pm Title: Chapter 1

I love it. Third partied need to be demolished indeed.

 

But yeah -- lovely that I can see the scenes perfectly and a name is never spoken! ;)

Reviewer: proposals Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 07:43 pm Title: Chapter 1

God, that was beautiful. So tiny and perfect and it amazes me that you slipped meaning into every sentence.

It was around here that I almost started to cry: "His shirt is white, not blue, sleeves rolled up and her fingers absently rub circles just below his wrist. "

White, and not blue. That did it. So wonderful. And how perfect that it all ended in the Parking Lot of Doom.

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 07:09 pm Title: Chapter 1

I love how you wrote this -- it's like a poem in five parts, shorthand that only Office-ionados know!  And 'third parties' -- that is priceless!!!  Exactly how I think of her!!

Reviewer: Paper Jam Signed [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2006 06:35 pm Title: Chapter 1

This is... I actually don't have words. Each section is so simple, yet complete. The writing is beautiful and I loved every single line, epecially carrot sticks and hands inside coat sleeves, because it's those tiny little gestures that make them. Brilliant.

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans