1.

Stanley takes a seat at the fringes of the group and waves over the waitress before she can get swamped with everyone else's requests. Most of the staff are gathered around Devon, offering him condolences and free drinks. Stanley is not among the people sad to see Devon go. He's a nice enough guy, but he slacks off in the far corner of the office where he thinks no one is watching, and his paper work is never filled out correctly. Did he expect his job would be safe forever?

Stanley's order comes and he toasts Devon's back from across the room. He doesn't seem to appreciate that leaving Dunder Mifflin is a good thing. He'll get severance. He should be celebrating. The glass of bourbon goes down in one long swallow and Stanley pushes his chair back, slips out the door unnoticed. Dinner's waiting at home.

It is the first and only time he voluntarily goes to a bar in the company of his co-workers without the promise of free food.

2.

Dwight calls home three times from the pay phone near the restroom to check that Mose has set the VCR correctly. Lost is better without the commercials anyway, and he can rewind to check for clues about The Others as many times as he wants.

He rejoins the table and orders two shots of Goldschlager (extra flakes), since there's no drink special on Wednesdays. It's the only day every member of his laser tag team can meet, though, so they all make do. Dwight kicked ass that day in the field, but then, he's perfectly designed for combat, so it's no surprise that he led their team to victory for the eighth time in a row. Training is no match for superior genes. He can't wait to tell Angela. She gets this light in her eyes when he talks about shooting his gun that transforms her into the most beautiful creature in the world.

Also, she's the only woman he has ever met that can't get enough of beets. It must be a sign.

3.

Jim nurses a beer and watches as Todd Packer wipes pale blue silly string off his head with a cocktail napkin while simultaneously trying to pick up a college girl. Everyone is in a good mood, filled with no name vodka and Christmas cheer. He sits in a booth by himself, obsessing over the relative value of teapots and video iPods. Maybe it's time to call it a night.

He shrugs on his coat, left ear still stinging from the snowball Roy nailed him with in the parking lot.

4.

Ryan wants a quiet evening with a few of his college friends. That's all. Only now he's somehow on a date with Kelly (which he doesn't remember agreeing to), apologizing to his buddies in mime. They seem to like her though. She sits on the stool next to him, holding court over all the boys, flirting with them just the right amount. Ryan kind of envies her social ease. He doesn't have to try and impress her like most girls his age, because she's already convinced that he won't always be the temp at a struggling paper company, sees something better for his future. It's nice; he finds himself relaxing. A few beers later, maybe he doesn't mind that she's there, after all.

The rest of the guys get up for a game of pool to give them some time alone. Kelly goes quiet, waiting for him to do something. So he does, kisses her right there at the table littered with half-full drinks and soggy napkins. When he leans back, his mouth sticky from her lip gloss, she just stares at him blankly for a full twenty seconds. Then she smiles and throws her soft, warm arms around his shoulders. "Ryan! What took you so long?" Her neck smells like cotton candy. This could be fun.

And then he remembers that it's February thirteenth. Of course.

5.

Andy joins the staff at Poor Richard's after work to celebrate Pam's birthday. Not that he was invited, but Andy Bernard can smell a rockin' party from two states away. Seriously, he once drove six hours to a kegger at Georgetown University. Without a map. It was almost over when he got there, but totally worth it the next day when he casually related the story to the rest of Here Comes Treble: "Georgetown University. Ever heard of it?" They had been suitably impressed.

It's good to be back, hanging with his peeps. Well, Michael, anyway. If you ask him, those anger management losers were a bunch of lunatics with serious emotional problems. He didn't fit in at all, just couldn't relate to a bunch of guys who did things like driving their SUV into the front of an ex-girlfriend's house or assaulting the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts with a Boston Cream.

He's on tonight, in his element, the handsomest guy in the room, hands down. One of the waitresses is definitely digging him. It's flattering, but he's out of her league. He concentrates instead on his efforts to woo the fair Filippelli. Even with Big Tuna out of the picture these days, Karen is still playing hard to get, so he needs to step it up. In order to lubricate the process, he buys her shots of tequila all night, although she doesn't seem to be getting any drunker.

He's not worried, though. He'll wear her down eventually.