They lay in bed together in silence. He was supposed to spend the weekend with her. They hadn’t spent a weekend together like this in months. It was sprung on him at the last second. He was sitting at home watching Friends reruns on television, when she called him.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey, Pam. What’s going on?” he answered.
“Roy and his buddies went on their fishing trip.”
“I thought that wasn’t until next week.”
“He changed it.”
“Ok. I’ll be right over.”
It all happened so quickly between them. It happened about 6 months earlier. A few of them were staying late to finish finance reports. The copy machine had run out of ink so she accompanied him to the supply room. They started joking about Dwight’s latest escapades, and ended up in each other’s arms. The next day they swore to each other it would never happen again, but one thing led to another and she ended up in his bed that night. It was easy for them. Roy was usually out late, and since the weather was getting nicer, he would leave with his friends on weekend long fishing trips. For some reason, Jim was quiet tonight. Something was on his mind.
“Jan called me earlier today,” he told her, breaking the silence.
“Oh yeah? What did she have to say?” she asked.
“She wanted to offer me a promotion. Assistant regional manager. Sounds pretty cool.”
“Dwight will be jealous considering he still has the ‘to the’ in his title. That’s really great.”
“It’s in Stamford.”
“What?”
“Stamford, Connecticut.”
“I know where it is.”
“Okay.”
“So are you going to take the job?”
“I haven’t really had time to process it, yet.”
“Well, it’s a good opportunity. You’d be crazy not to jump at the chance for something like that.”
“I know.”
“Good.” They went back to their unusual silence. Back before this whole thing started, it was so much easier to talk to her. She rested her head on his chest and sighed.
“Tired?” she asked him.
“Yeah. Today was just, well, it felt like a long day. Can we just go to sleep?” he said quietly, almost whispering.
“Um, yeah. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Ok. Good night, Pam.”
“Good night.”
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The next morning he was up before her. He went for a jog to clear his head. He should take the job. He would be making more money, and he would feel more like he was doing something with his life. The only reason he would stay would be for her. He loved her with every bone in his body. He would do anything for her. The past 6 months had been bliss for him. He loved kissing her goodnight and waking up to her in the morning. He wanted to do that everyday for the rest of his life. But she belonged to someone else. How did they let it get this far? He wanted to be her everything, but he was just the guy she was cheating on her fiancé with. He didn’t want to be that guy. He wanted to be the guy. He’d only mentioned her leaving Roy once, and they got in to a big fight. They apologized to each other later and he promised not to mention it again. He had never broken a promise to her before, but he had to know that he wasn’t wasting all this time with her. He jogged up to her front door and left himself in. She was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, and the newspaper.
“Hey. How was your jog?” she asked.
“Fine,” he responded, slightly cold.
“I made the coffee.” Her voice had a hint of worry. He poured himself a cup and sat across from her. He grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes.
“Ask me to stay,” he said.
“What?”
“Ask me to stay, Pam. You are the only reason I would stay. And if you ask me to, I won’t go.”
“Jim, I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a great opportunity for you.”
“Is that true? Or are you just saying that because you won’t leave him?”
“I thought we promised not to talk about that anymore.”
“Well we really haven’t been great at keeping promises, have we?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I don’t know what we’re doing anymore. No, that’s not true. I know what I’m doing. I just don’t know what you’re doing. Where is this going, Pam? Are you ever going to leave him or am I going to be the guy you fuck when your husband’s out of town?”
“That’s enough!”
“And then what happens if you get pregnant? Are you going to tell him, then? Or can you live with the fact that the man who’s raising your child might not be his father?”
“Why do you have to be like this, Jim? Everything is just fine between you and me. We have something good going here. Roy doesn’t know anything.”
“Are you deaf? I don’t care about Roy anymore. Hell, I’ll tell him what’s going on myself.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t. That’s your decision. But I love you, God damn it. I want to be with you. Forever.
“Jim, I…”
“You what Pam?”
“He’s been in my life for 10 years. I can’t just cut him out of my life like that.”
“Then, what the hell are we still doing? What am I to you, Pam?”
“You…you’re my best friend.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. I know you don’t want to be with him anymore. I can see it in your eyes and I can hear it in your voice. Things change. People change. You’re not the same people anymore. Chose me, Pam. Love me. Marry me. Plan your life with me. Let me make you happy. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of what people will say? Because if that’s the case then come with me. No one knows us in Stamford. We can start over.”
“It’s not that simple, Jim. I can’t just drive off with you into the sunset. It doesn’t work that way.”
“Then, I don’t know what to do anymore. So for the last time. Ask me to stay.”
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I can’t.” That was all she could say. Any more words would surely turn her into a sobbing wreck.
“Okay,” he said, quietly. He went into her room and grabbed his clothes. He looked around her room to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. He walked back out into the kitchen, and kissed her. “Good bye, Pam.”
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