“Hey they’re playing our song.”

“Yeah, that’s weird. I thought they only played the Police.”

“I know. Uh..” Roy paused, “I gave them twenty bucks.”

“Really? Why would you do that?”

“Because, I wanted to do something nice. I wanted to win you back.”

“Oh please, like you would ever be able to make me forget Jim.”

“What?”

“Jim. Jim Halpert. I’ve been in love with him for years. Duh! I mean, come on, Roy! Get a clue!”

“I am gonna KILL Jim Halpert!”

“Roy! NO!!!” In that instant, Pam knew exactly what she needed to do. She was so sick of having Roy steal her thunder. She wouldn’t let it happen this time. If anyone was going to be doing some killing it would be her.

She ran through the reception with Roy close on her heels.

“Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration!” she called. “Help me! He’s trying to attack!”

Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, leaped into action and tackled Roy, as did half of his Vance Refrigeration co-workers. Just as she had planned, the scuffle provided enough of a distraction for Pam to make it over to Jim and Karen.

“You!” she screamed at Karen. “You’ve ruined my life! How dare you steal away the man I love!?! You whore!”

Before Karen could react, Pam was dragging Karen by her hair toward the exit.

Jim just stood there in shock, his jaw gaping open. He was so flabbergasted that he didn’t even notice when Roy finally ploughed through his oppressors and began battering Jim with his fists.

It took Pam a few minutes to finish Karen off. Her dirty deed done, Pam ran back inside, but by then it was too late to save Jim from Roy’s fatal blows.

Overcome with grief at Jim’s demise, Pam threw herself at Roy, sobbing.

“You savage!” she roared. “How could you kill my true and only love? I have no more will to live.”

And with that, Pam crumpled onto Jim’s beaten corpse, the life force forever gone from her dainty frame.

“I told you, you should have followed the Schrute tradition.” Dwight told Phyllis later. “If you had, we would have already had gravesites ready for the casualties.”

Poor Phyllis just teared up again. Her wedding day was forever marred.

Kelly, on the other hand, spent the rest of the night buried in Ryan’s shoulder, alternating between crying at the loss of her friends, and debating which of her black dresses would be the perfect mix of conservative enough for a funeral, but sexy enough to keep Ryan from getting too depressed.