Disclaimer: Not mine in the least.

“I feel fat.”

Pam rolled her eyes, never looking away from the newspaper. “Stop.”

“No, seriously,” Jim said, studying himself in the mirror. “Do these pants make my butt look big?”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“You’re avoiding the question,” he turned around to point at her. “That means ‘yes.’”

Pam closed the paper long enough to glare at him. “When did you become a woman?”

“The same time you became a man who read the sports page on Sunday,” Jim turned back to the mirror, rubbing a hand across his stomach.

“Here,” Pam ruffled through the mess of the newspaper scattered across their bed. “The ‘Health and Fitness’ section. There’s a great article about getting rid of water weight.”

Jim faced her once more, his eyes wide in shock. “Beesly!” He jumped onto the bed, crunching the papers beneath him and bracing his arms against the headboard, hovering over her. “If I develop an eating disorder, it is all your fault.”

She grinned and kissed him. “I’m sorry, I just think you’re being ridiculous. You put on a couple of pounds; it’s no big deal. It’s probably from stress; I mean you sit next to Dwight and Andy. That’s not healthy for anyone.” As he frowned, Pam kissed him again and continued. “Tell you what, that gym on Main is having some ‘two for one’ special on memberships. I’ll go sign us up. We’ll get in shape, it’ll give us something to do together besides fighting with TiVo…”

Jim gave a half-smile. “You would do that?”

“Of course. Plus, it’ll be nice to be able to wrap my arms around you again.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

xxx

They planned to go Monday night after work, despite the inevitable mental exhaustion that comes after eight hours with Michael. However, the large stack of paperwork on Jim’s desk and Dwight pacing nervously around him indicated to Pam that she might be on her own. When 5:00 came and virtually nothing had changed at Jim’s desk, she made her way quietly over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Got enough work there?”

Jim gave a heavy sigh. “Of course we would sign a new client the day we’re supposed to go work out. I’m not sure I’m going to make it tonight.” He frowned and knit his eyebrows in worry. “Forgive me?”

“Of course. Though I’m not sure your shirt will, those buttons look ready to pop.”

He narrowed his eyes in mock anger. “Watch it.”

“See you at home.” She smiled and gave him a quick kiss, waving one last time as she rounded the corner out of the office.

Later, as she changed in the gym’s locker room, she felt a small tap on her shoulder.

“Sorry to bug you, but do you happen to have an extra hair tie?” A young woman with dark wavy hair asked, giving an apologetic smile.

“Oh, sure!” Pam replied, digging through her purse. “Here you go.”

“You’re a lifesaver. Two minutes out on that treadmill and my hair would have frizzed out like you would not believe.”

Pam laughed and pointed to her own curly locks. “Oh believe me, I know.”

“I’m Stephanie,” the woman greeted, extending her tan and well-toned arm.

“I’m Pam, nice to meet you. Oh, sorry,” she said, hearing her cell phone ring. “Just one second.”

“No problem,” Stephanie mouthed, tying the unruly hair up into a high ponytail.

Pam read the caller ID and immediately broke out into a grin.

“Still burning the midnight oil, Halpert?”

“This is hell. My vision is blurring from staring at these forms all day, I’m starving, and Michael might actually kill Dwight. I may have to appear in court.”

“How late do you think you’ll be?” Pam asked, toying with the laces on her running shoes.

“No idea. Don’t wait up for me, okay? At least one of us should get some sleep.”

“Alright, good luck. I love you.”

Even over the phone, Pam knew he was smiling. “I love you, too.”

She flipped the phone closed with a sigh, looking over at Stephanie who was eyeing her with a puzzled expression.

“This is going to sound weird, but that wasn’t Jim Halpert, was it?”

Pam’s heart kicked up a bit. “Umm, yeah. You know him?”

Stephanie began to blush and made steady eye contact with the ground. “Yeah, we used to…I mean, like a long time ago, we sort of dated for a bit.”

“Oh,” Her mouth went dry and it was now her turn to become focused on the tile floor.

“How is he?” Stephanie asked quietly, her face a mixture of nostalgia and a hint of regret.

“Good. He’s good.” The awkward silence surrounded the two women, both nervous and consumed with questions that they knew they couldn’t ask.

“Well, it was really nice meeting you, Pam,” Stephanie finally broke, forcing a small smile. “Say ‘hi’ to Jim for me.”

Pam merely nodded and managed a goodbye as she watched her walk away.

She steadied herself against her locker, wondering how there could still be so much mystery about a man she thought she knew so well.

xxx

Pam was still wide awake when Jim got home at nearly midnight, her run-in with his past at the gym replaying over and over in her mind.

“Hey,” he whispered, kicking off his shoes and collapsing into bed. “You’re still up?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep,” she replied shortly, flinching a bit as he kissed her cheek.

Jim fell back on his pillow, loosening his tie as a yawn escaped his mouth. “What a day. How was the gym?”

Pam let out a tight laugh. “Interesting. Stephanie says ‘hi.’” She could feel his body tense, and after a few moments he cleared his throat.

“Umm, I don’t—“

“Remember her? Tall, dark hair, perfect body, tan, ex-girlfriend. Does that help?” The bitterness escaped Pam’s mouth before she had a chance to stop it.

“Look—“

“How did I not know about her? We tell each other everything, Jim. We’ve talked about past relationships before, why did you never bring her up? Was she some fling? A one-night stand? A notch in your belt?”

“Pam—“

“No, I want to know.” Her voice was getting to an unusually high pitch and her breathing was heavy from the rate at which her heart was beating.

Jim hung his head low, struggling to find the right words to begin. “It was four years ago. We had been together six months, the first real serious relationship I’d ever had. Everything was going in the right direction; her family loved me, my family loved her—“

“Is this supposed to be making me feel better?”

“Let me finish,” Jim soothed. “I loved her. Until I caught her with another guy; my college roommate in fact.” He forced a small laugh. “I’d never seen Danny run so fast. Anyway, it ended and I was a miserable waste of life for a month and two days.”

“A month and two days? I don’t understand…” Pam trailed off, all bitterness and anger gone from her voice.

“A month and two days after we broke up, you started at Dunder-Mifflin” Jim’s hand found hers and he began to stroke her wrist with his thumb. “And I remember when I made you smile that day, after I asked you to lunch, I finally let go of Stephanie. Because not being with her meant that I could try and make you smile like that everyday for the rest of my life.”

It was a moment of clarity for Pam; she had always naively assumed that she was his first heartbreak. She had forgotten that life for him did exist before Dunder Mifflin, before her. She was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt and rolled herself into his arms, burying her head in the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jim rubbed her back, pressing kisses to her temple. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her sooner. No more secrets from now on.”

“Well in that case, I guess I should tell you,” Pam bit her lip and took a deep breath before continuing. “I like you with a little more weight.”

Jim’s eyes sprung open in surprise. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m serious. You looked so skinny when you came back from Stamford, you didn’t look like yourself. This,” she said, running a hand down from his full cheeks to pleasantly round stomach. “This is more like it.”

“So, does this mean no more gym?”

“At least for now,” Pam sighed, her eyelids beginning to grow heavy. “We can always just put another notch in your belt.”

“Uhh, poor choice of words there, Beesly.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”