Just two days after he met Michael Scott, Jim Halpert stopped using the word "hard."

He used "difficult" when he meant difficult to do (TWSS, dammit!). He would pause before making the substitution. (I'm about to say hard. Change to difficult! Change to difficult!) When the context was that of a hard surface, he learned to substitute "solid."

There were other words Jim stopped using, words like: soft, easy, premature, blow, erect, eject...Those got an almost automatic TWSS from Michael Scott. (Jim had started using TWSS instead of "That's what she said" about three days after he met Michael. The four letters showed up, unbidden, in his mind's eye - all caps, white text on a black background, whenever a ‘moment' occurred.) There were other words Jim learned to be very careful with, words like: head, cheeks, balls, long, short, big (really, any word describing size), sack, come, do, down (never near ‘go')...The list was constantly revised as needed.

Substitution and caution worked for a while. Then there was a week or so that Michael would cock his head slightly (TWSS) and give Jim a questioning look. Slowly, finally, Michael figured out that Jim no longer gave him the opportunity to say "That's what she said." Never, ever, ever.

Michael had no choice but to make opportunities for himself. Comedy doesn't always just happen, even for the Greats. If it doesn't come to you (TWSS), you have to go to it. "That's what she said" is Comedy Gold, and sometimes, it has to be mined: dug painstakingly from the words and people who surround you. Comedy is even better if it's hard to do. Hey, that's what she said! See, wasn't that great? Comedy!

So Michael jumped in with a "That's what she said" on the slightest provocation. "Difficult" got it every time ("Thaaaat's what she said, because difficult means hard.") Words on Jim's caution list earned it most of the time, regardless of context. Sometimes Michael followed it with a pained expression and a head shake (TWSS) when he realized it didn't work. Even more often, it should have been followed with a head shake, but instead, Michael considered it to be a triumphant comedic moment.

Jim had no choice but to turn the tables on Michael, who had never needed to watch his words. Jim wasn't sure Michael could watch his words. Jim relentlessly and mercilessly applied TWSS to anything Michael said; no good possibility was allowed to pass. Naturally, unlike Michael's, every one of Jim's TWSSs was perfectly timed and perfectly appropriate (if that word can indeed be applied to the sophomoric humor of TWSS).

At first, Michael laughed. He even felt flattered that Jim had chosen to follow in his footsteps, to learn at the feet of the comedic master ("Ha! See that? I taught him everything he knows.") But eventually (really eventually; it took weeks), he realized he was Jim's only target. Phyllis said "I'm going to make a scarf for everyone. I've already done Stanley." Nothing from Jim. Dwight said "They're slacking off in the warehouse! I'm going down, I'm going to really give it to them, and it's going to be really, really messy!" Nothing from Jim. Creed said something about Stanley having a swelled head. Nothing from Jim. But Michael couldn't say a word, even a word, without worrying about Jim jumping in "...Aaaand, that's what she said."

Michael was frustrated and angry; he prepared for a Comedy War. He redoubled his efforts to get Jim with a "That's what she said." At the same time, he tried to think before he spoke, hoping to shut Jim down. (Damn, that guy was quick-witted.) The third front of his largely uncontested and silently ridiculed war was the fierce ‘disgusted boss' look he gave Jim whenever Jim managed to get him. The war was over almost before it began. In a battle of wits, Michael was overwhelmingly outgunned.

Michael, in one of his rare moments of lucidity, called a truce. It was a quiet truce: unstated, in fact. He merely stopped using "That's what she said" with Jim. He didn't make opportunities. He didn't even take opportunities handed to him on a silver platter (somehow he knew that Jim was testing him). Jim stopped using it as well, once he trusted the truce. (Actually, Jim stopped even before trust came; he was so tired of jumping on Michael's words with that crass phrase that he eagerly welcomed détente.)

But Jim continued to use "difficult" instead of "hard" whenever Michael Scott was around. Old habits die...with difficulty.