“What a bitch”, Jim thought shaking his head in disbelief, “Wow, what a total fucking bitch”. He was sitting in the passenger side of his girlfriend Katie’s car, looking out the window watching the cars go by, and Katie prattle on about something or another. Of course, he wasn’t even listening, and she didn’t seem to notice. This only pissed him off more.

    He was so agitated he couldn’t even sit still. His anger had no where to go, but into a series of aimless movements. His hand raked through his hair, his foot tapped at an uncomfortably alarming speed, his elbow rested on the window ledge, then down to his side again, then back up to the window ledge. Aimless movements geared towards trying to find a comfortable position to breathe, to get his shit together. “God damn, what a bitch”, he thought again, as his hand raked through his hair yet again.

    “So, where do you want to go for lunch? You’ve got about an hour, right?” Katie asked completely clueless to his agitation.

  “Um, how about your place?” he asked and gave her what he hoped was a loving stare. Please say yes, he thought. I need to clear my head. Sex would do nicely. He could already feel some of his anger melt off looking at her. God, she was pretty. Great face, nice hair, tight body. She was wearing a skirt, and her legs looked awesome. He took a deep breath in, and ran his finger down her bare leg. He shifted his hips, already feeling the beginnings of an erection.

  “Oh babe, that would be awesome”, she said “But, remember, I’ve got my friend?” And, Jesus, help me, she actually air-quoted “friend”.  “I thought I told you last night when we were watching “Grey’s Anatomy” that I thought I’d get it today, blah, blah, blah”. I swear to God, he could actually hear the teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoon’s when she talked. “Wha wha wha, wha wha wha wah. It would be fucking hysterical, if it wasn’t happening in his life.

  While Katie continued to drone on in minute detail about the intimate details of Dr. McDreamy & Co., Jim could feel his thoughts turning back to her. Back to Pam, that fucking bitch.

  There had been a fire drill at work today. And, as usual, he and Pam were thick as thieves. Today, they actually made Dwight “lose it” in his car. It was so awesome! She was so awesome, and he could almost try to ignore the way his gut tightened, and his heart ached when she was around. Almost.

  After all, she was living with her boyfriend Roy. And all their camaraderie was just that, on her part. It was his fucked up problem that he was in love with her. She thought they were just the best of friends. He let her think that, just to be near her.

  He knew it was pathetic, but it was all he had. So, he made due. He watched the girl he loved go home to another man’s bed every night. And, he had Katie. A small grin played across his lips, and that he tried to hide a little with his hand as they drove down the highway.

   Katie, Roy had said, was definitely someone he would go out with. And, he said it right in front of Pam! As crazy as that was, it gave Jim enormous pleasure. In fact, truth be told, it was one of the main reasons he asked Katie out in the first place. If he couldn’t have Roy’s girlfriend, he could at least have the girl he wanted to fuck.

  And, as sick as this all was, it was ok in Jim’s mind because he thought Pam was ignorant of his feelings towards her. He had to believe that the awesome woman he loved couldn’t know how much he cared. If she did, she wouldn’t torture him so much with a thousand little smiles, and innocent touches every single work day. No one was that much of a bitch.

   But, apparently, Pam was that much of a bitch. Truth be told, he could feel her slipping a little off that pedestal he put her on. And, it pissed him off so much that he could barely contain himself.

  “You know what babe?” he said, turning to Katie as she drove, “I’m suddenly not feeling so good. Instead of lunch, do you mind dropping me off at home? I was feeling a little sick all morning, and I’m starting to feel nauseous again. I think I’ll just go home and lie down. I’ll call out from work when I get home.”

  “Oh you poor baby”, Katie cooed at him, batting her eyes. “Of course I can take you home. Can I stay and get you anything?” she smiled sweetly, putting her hand over his. “No thanks, just a little rest and I’ll be good as new.” He said.

  “Ok then”, she pouted, as she pulled into his apartment complex. “I’ll call you later”.

  It was always the little things with them, he thought as he walked into his apartment. Like this morning for instance, during the fire drill. He had started everyone on a game of “Five Favorite Movies”, while they were standing in the parking lot waiting for the fire trucks to arrive.

  It was a fantasy game where participants had to choose the five movies they would bring with them if they were stranded on a desert island. And, of course, Pam’s chosen favorites almost mirrored his.

  Coincidence? Maybe. But in reality, it was like that with them all the time. It was a little scary really, when he thought about it. There seemed to be a connection between them that he couldn’t really explain. Jesus, he really was a fucking sap wasn’t he?

  And, it was because of this “thing” between them, that he couldn’t sleep some nights from wanting her. That sad reality made him angry. Because with all they had between them, nothing had ever been acknowledged. Nothing was ever spoken out loud. Nothing was done to shatter the illusion of their innocent friendship. His fault as much as hers really, but God damn it, she was the one with the live-in boyfriend!

  And then today, something changed. She actually mocked him. Right to his face! She was laughing at him because when Katie joined in the fantasy game, she had chosen “Legally Blond” as her favorite movie. Pam knew that he thought that movie was ludicrous. So, she burst out laughing at Katie’s answer, taunting him.

  A simple thing really, but it was at that moment that he knew. He finally realized that he had been a complete fool. He could no longer believe that Pam thought they were ‘just friends’. She knew he wanted her. She fucking knew all along. He could see it in her smug expression today when she burst out laughing at Katie.

  Only he knew that her laughter was really meant for him. Poor, pathetic Jim, she must think. Anger settled in the pit of his stomach like a hot coal. God damn it, of all things, he hadn’t expected her to be cruel.

  Frustrated, Jim sat down hard on his couch, and blew out his breath. Stretching out his arm, he reached for the cordless phone perched on the end table. Angrily, he punched in the numbers to dial the office. He hoped she’d be on a call, and he could just leave a voice mail. He really didn’t even want to have to hear her voice. He held his breath as the phone rang though once, twice, then…”Hello Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. How can I direct your call?” Her voice sounded so normal, so sweet. For an instant, he forgot about his anger. He felt his chest warm with feeling, and a smile start to play across his lips.      

  Then, he remembered her taunting laughter, the way her eyes burned into his, mocking him. It was like an ice bucket dousing him, mercifully freezing out any unwanted feelings.

  “Hey Pam, it’s Jim. I’m not feeling so good, so I had Katie drop me off at home. Can you tell Michael that I’m taking off the rest of the day?” 

  “Oh, um, sure Jim I’ll tell him.” A beat, then she whispered, “Are you ok? Did something happen…?

  “Yeah, yeah, everything is fine” he said tiredly, running his fingers through his hair. He could feel his stomach churning just talking to her. Then, something inside of him snapped. All the anger and frustration he felt just burst out of him.

  In a venom filled voice that was so unlike him, he said, “You know what Pam? No, everything is not fine.  I don’t need you worrying about me.  I don’t need you butting in on my personal life. I don’t need your friendly concern, ok?”

  Silence, then “Um, ok.”

  “Shit” he muttered then hung up on her. He put his hand over his eyes, and scraped it down his face, coming to rest over his mouth. Wow, that was childish. Oh well. He just couldn’t sit there and listen to her. No way, he was not in the mood to play that game anymore.

  He jumped up, grabbed a cold beer from the fridge, and returned to the tv. Flipping it on with the remote, he almost laughed out loud when the first thing that popped onto the screen was Reece Witherspoon in a bubble-gum pink suit. “Jesus, “Legally Blond”, what are the odds on that I wonder?” Smiling to himself, he settled in to watch the ridiculous movie. Maybe he and Katie could discuss it later in bed.

Twenty minutes and four beers later, he was still watching Reese when the phone rang again. Reaching for it, he turned it over so he could view the caller id. Not recognizing the number he absently picked it up, “hello”.

  “Hey Jim, it’s me. It’s Pam. Do you, um, do you have a minute?”

  Shit. “Not really, I’m kinda busy”, he said taking a swill of beer. His doorbell rings. “Sorry Pam, someone’s at the door, I gotta go”, he says, and hangs up, grateful for the interruption. Maybe it was Katie with some chicken soup, he thinks taking another swig.

  He opens the door and almost spits out his mouthful of beer, when he sees Pam standing there, her cell phone still in her hand. She had dialed him from his doorstep.

  “Whatever you have, must be catching”, she said as she walked into his apartment, offering a weak smile. “I started feeling sick right after your phone call.”

  “What are you doing here Pam?” he said. “Does Roy know you’re playing hooky from work?”

  “I don’t want to talk about Roy”, she said. “I came here to ask you a question.”

  Jim just looked at her. Here was Pam, in his apartment this time, playing games again. He couldn’t believe it. Was she fucking serious? He looked her up and down, his eyes narrowing, and took another drink. Fine, he thought, maybe playing games could be a good thing this time. This time, he wouldn’t be so worried about crossing the line with her. He liked having her knocked off that pedestal he had so gingerly placed her on. The view from down here was much, much better.

  “Ok then”, he said, taking a step closer to her. “What did you want to ask me?”

  Pam could sense the change in him. He looked, well, kinda dangerous actually. She couldn’t explain why she was there really. Yes, she had to admit that she was attracted to him. But, this was her buddy Jim. The one who always made her laugh at work, who cheered her up when she needed it. She didn’t really think of him in that way. He just didn’t inspire those types of feelings in her. He was just, well, just Jim. He was just sweet, funny, Jim.

  Roy was her lover. Roy, who could sometimes be such an ass, could still turn her on.  She loved that Roy was strong, even forceful at times. He was never shy about what he wanted in bed, and she was usually eager to take his direction. She knew she needed that type of man. She was much too shy to be demanding. She could never ask, out loud for god’s sake, for what she wanted.

  Then, Jim blew her off this afternoon on the phone. And, she suddenly felt panicked at the thought of him being mad at her. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but she knew she needed to see him. She needed to make sure that they were ok. 

   Nervously, she cleared her throat and said, “You mentioned on the phone that you don’t want me butting into your personal life. I guess I can understand that.” Stiffening her spine, she took a step towards him, and with more boldness than she felt, said, “But, then you said you don’t need a friends concern. So, I guess I wanted to ask you, Jim, what is it exactly that you do need?” She held her breath and waited. Oh, what the hell had she just done?

  Pam was mortified. Did she really just say that? To Jim, for God’s sake? But, as he continued to stare at her, his eyes dark, she couldn’t deny the attraction. She didn’t know that he had spent the better part of the day cursing her. All she knew was that there had always been something between them, right from the beginning.

  She knew he had a crush on her. She liked it. What woman wouldn’t? But, she had a boyfriend, so it never really mattered much. They were just friends.

  Looking at him now, she didn’t feel that way. Jim’s anger had shown her a whole different side of him. He seemed stronger somehow, more self-assured. And, she loved it. She couldn’t help but respond to it. Shit, how had this all happened? What was she doing here?

  Jim listened to her talk, but couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. Of all things, he did not expect that! Who was this person anyway? He thought he knew, but maybe he’d been wrong all along.

  Still annoyed and angry, he felt his heart beat faster just looking at her. When she shyly returned his stare, he could feel himself growing hard. Closing the distance between them, he slid his arms around her, pulling her in close. Damn, why did she have to smell so good?

  He was so tall. Pam could feel his erection pushing against her stomach as their bodies pressed together. He wasn’t smiling, just staring at her, as he silently lowered his mouth to hers. She didn’t try to stop him, just sucked in her breath in anticipation. His mouth pushed hard against hers, seeking, testing her response.

  Pam felt her body go hot as his tongue sought entry into her mouth. Willingly, she parted her lips and slid her tongue against his. She could taste the beer he had been drinking and feel the warmth of his skin, which smelled faintly of Ivory soap.

  Jim groaned out load when he felt her tongue mix with his, and dragged her closer against him. Wrenching one hand free, he roughly began to grope her over the clothes covering her breasts, her stomach, her hip. And all the while, his lips continued their forceful exploration of hers as he backed her into his bedroom. Kicking the door shut behind him, they fumbled their way to his bed, their mouths never losing contact.

  Sighing with pleasure, Pam pushed her fingers into his hair. Cupping the back of his head, she drew him down even closer to her. Her response pushed his passion higher, and he reached down to grip the edge of her shirt, and roughly pull it over her head.

  His forcefulness only flamed her lust. She reached behind her back to quickly unfasten her bra. With one violent tug, Jim pulled it from her body and leaving her breasts bare. Before she could take a breath, his mouth and hands covered her. His long fingers caressed over her ribs, and down her sides. His lips trailed wet kisses across each breast.

  Squirming with pleasure, Pam arched her back towards him. The feelings were so intense, that she couldn’t talk, couldn’t form thoughts. She could only respond to how he was making her body feel. She wimpered as his mouth closed over her hardened nipple.

  “Oh god!” she cried out, and her hips grinded against his body, seeking release. Ignoring her cries, he continued to lick and suck her breasts. His mouth and tongue slowly traced over one hardened nipple, while his fingers lazily stroked the other.

  She desperately wanted to feel him, she was so close, so she blindly groped her hands towards his lap. He moaned as she stroked his erection through his pants. Pulling away from her, he quickly pulled off his clothes, and grinning at her, yanked off the rest of hers.

  Impatiently, Pam leaned up to pull him back to her. Like hers, his skin was hot. “Oh, now. Oh god, I want you so bad!” she pleaded.

  “Say my name” he whispered into her ear, running his fingers up and down the inside of her thighs. “I want to hear you say it”, he said as his fingers moved lower, continuing their lazy exploration.

  “Wh-what?” she said, trying to focus on what he was saying as his hand cupped her, gently stroking her clit.

  “Say it, Pam”, he whispered, his voice rough and heavy with lust.

  The strength of his tone, coupled by what he was doing to her body, drove her over the edge. “Jim, oh god Jim”, she sobbed as her body convulsed into orgasm.

  Jim slid his body over hers. “Good girl” he whispered in her ear, as he positioned himself between her legs. He leaned down to kiss her roughly on the mouth. She smiled, her breathing slowing its pace.

  Pam felt his erection press against her thigh. He felt so hard. She shifted her hips slightly, an invitation.

   Her body ached to feel him inside her. “Oh Jim, please” she moaned.  Please, now”, she whispered, her voice strained as she looked up at him, “I need you”.

  Jim inhaled sharply, then groaned, as he pushed his cock into her. She felt so soft. So wet. “Pam….Oh God!” he grunted as he thrust hard into her.

  Moaning, Pam wrapped her legs around him. Their bodies felt slick with sweat. Every push and pull within her brought her closer to the edge. She was panting now. The pleasure was so intense that little cries and moans kept escaping her.

  Jim looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back, as she moaned and cried his name. Her face and breasts were flushed pink. Her hair was a tangle of fiery curls on his pillow. How many times had he fantasized about seeing her like this? It was almost more than he could take, and he began to wildly thrust into her.

  Pam’s eyes flew open as he took her like an animal. She started to cry out, but could only manage to suck in her breath before she was hit with a violent orgasm. Gripping his shoulders, she dug her nails in, leaving little crescent moon marks behind.

  Jim felt her begin to quiver around his cock as she came. “Oh God..Oh fuck!” he grunted. With every muscle tense on his sweat slicked body, he thrust deep, and burst into her. Burying his face in her hair, he collapsed on top of her.

  For a few moments, neither of them moved. Then, she managed to slowly lift one arm up and run her nails lightly down his back. “Umm”, she murmured, smiling. Her body felt spent. She could smell him on her, and that make her feel giddy.

  Lifting his head to look down at her, Jim gave her a tired grin. Sliding slowly off of her, she felt him pull out. There was wetness on the inside of her thighs and couldn’t believe they were so stupid to forget the condom. At least she was on the pill.

  Then she remembered why she was on the pill, and it slapped her back to reality. Roy. Shit! A wave of guilt washed over her. Avoiding Jim’s eyes, she slid away from him to the side of the bed, and began to gather up her strewn clothes.

  Propped up on one elbow, Jim lazily watched her. He knew her so well. He could tell by her tense movements that she was feeling guilty, and thinking about Roy. With one arm, he reached out to grasp her hand.

  “Pam” he began softly, caressing her fingers. “Don’t…”

  She cut him off, “I know…I, uh, I’m sorry…I” she shook her head fighting back tears, and pulled her hand away.

  Quickly, his anger returned. Fuck, not again! He thought. Masking his feelings, he slid out his side of the bed and pulled on his shorts. Leaning down, he spotted her bra peeking out from under the edge of his comforter.

  “Hey, listen, don’t worry about it”. He said casually, handing her the bra. “We didn’t plan this. Sometimes things just happen.” he said as he shrugged into his rumpled shirt. He gave her what he hoped was a casual grin. “Roy doesn’t need to know.  We can just keep this our little secret.”

  “Oh” she said, obviously surprised. She expected him to beg and plead with her to stay.  She expected tears and rage. She knew how he felt about her. They had just made love for god’s sake! She didn’t know what to make of his casual attitude.

  “Jim?” she asked quietly. His back was turned to her as he buttoned his pants. She timidly reached out to touch his shoulder, than changed her mind. The magic of the moment had vanished like a ghost.

 “Yeah?” he said turning back to her.

  “You don’t have to worry about Katie.” She stumbled over her words, scanning his face. “I won’t say anything to her, or to anyone.” How could he be so laid-back?

  “I know you won’t” he said grasping her by the shoulders and lightly kissing her on the forehead. Like he was kissing his sister for god’s sake! He stood up and walked out of the bedroom. At a loss, Pam followed.

  Jim grabbed another beer out of the fridge. “You want one?” he asked, tipping the beer towards her.

  “No thanks. I guess…well, I guess I should go.” She said, almost a question.

  “Ok”, he said. “Pam, this was…Wow. This was awesome.”

  “Yeah, it was” she said planting a smile on her face, and swung her purse onto her shoulder. “Will you be at work tomorrow, or are you still feeling sick?” she asked playfully, trying to be casual.

  “Oh, you know, I feel much better now” he said, and flashed her a heart-stopping grin, “I can’t explain it. But, somehow, I really feel much better. I’ll be there. Goodbye, Pam.” And miraculously, he meant it.

  “Ok then”, she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow”. And, she closed the door behind her. Walking to her car, she knew she was in trouble. She’s the one who felt like crying.

  That night, Pam lay awake in her bed, while Roy snored lightly beside her. She couldn’t stop thinking about Jim. Just then, Roy grunted in his sleep and rolled over, casually throwing his arm across her. It was an intimate thing, which would normally cause her to snuggle against his warmth.

   This time, when his skin touched hers, she automatically pulled away, revolted. It wasn’t his touch that she wanted anymore, she realized with growing awareness. She wept silently in their bed. The tables had turned. She felt like she had just made a huge mistake.

  Across town, for the first time in a long time, Jim slept sound.

The End.