Pam was tired and more than a little annoyed when she got to work the next day. Fancy lingerie is not very comfortable and she'd worn the getup with the stockings and the garter and bustier and everything for several hours last night and Jim had never shown up. She was also a little worried. It's not as though it was far fetched that their business emergency could have gone late into the night, but it wasn't like Jim to not call her.

She was looking forward to chewing him out this morning, as she noticed his car in the parking lot. Pam couldn't wait to tear a strip off of him for not calling, then maybe tearing some other things off and alleviating the pressure built up from last night. God, how was she ever going to get any work done the rest of her life with these thoughts running through her head and Jim right there and okay, maybe she never got all that much work done to begin with but this was really distracting.

Distracting in a very good way, though.

The elevator dinged and she skipped into the office. Jim wasn't at his desk at the moment, probably babysitting Michael or something, so she set her stuff down at the reception desk, logged in to her computer, and checked her voicemail. Hmmph, no message from Jim on that phone either. That's it, he gets to cook tonight and do the dishes. Suck on that, Halpert.

No one had come to annoy her yet this morning, so she went through her morning routine of wasting time, checking the news and gossip websites (she checked the gossip sites just so she'd have a clue what Kelly was talking about half the time - the other half of the time she still didn't understand, though some of that could be the speed at which she talked). She briefly noted that CNN.com had changed their layout and was kind of annoyed that she didn't know where anything was anymore, when it struck her that half an hour had gone by and still no Jim.

That's weird, she thought to herself. Michael had been in and out of his office a couple of times, Dwight had bugged several people already this morning, yet still no appearance by Jim. Was he having a bathroom emergency or something?

Curious, she made her way back to the annex. She was worried, but not worried enough to brave the horrors of the mensroom herself. "Hey, Kev," she asked the burly accountant. "Could you check the bathroom to see if Jim's in there for me?"

A pained look overcame his fat face. "But that would mean I'd have to get up."

Pam folded her arms and glared at him. "Kevin."

"Alright," he said, grudgingly. "But you owe me." He disappeared into the bathroom, still grumbling, while Pam anxiously waited. And waited "He's not in here," Kevin called out, a few minutes later.

"What took you so long?"

Kevin looked embarrassed and stared at his shoes. "I had to go."

Well that was just great. She still had no idea where Jim was but she got to wait for Kevin using the toilet. Awesome. Truly wonderful. As she cut across the office to return to her desk, something clicked in her brain. Someone else was missing today as well: Karen.

Her stomach fell through the floor. Karen had still been working when she had left yesterday. When Jim and Karen had been dating she knew that they'd had some late nights in the office and one thing had led to another.... No. No, it can't be. He wouldn't. Would he?

"Shit!" she cursed to herself, not knowing what to do. Her legs felt weak and she slumped against the wall to keep upright. Her imagination filled in the worst. He'd gone back to Karen. And it was her own fault. It was just like her to drive him away again after finally having him back. Too complacent. Too boring.

Dammit, don't think that way, Pam. There's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for their simultaneous absenteeism. Maybe Jim's actually here. After all, his car was in the parking lot.

"Hey, Dwight," she prodded Jim's nemesis.

Dwight narrowed his eyes at her. "Yes, Pam." Pam was too scared to mask the worry on her face, and Dwight's default annoyed/smug facial expression softened. "What is it?"

She hadn't fiddled with her necklace in what seemed like ages. Since she'd started dating Jim. Well, that habit was back with a vengeance. "Do you know where Jim is?"

"Jim Halpert has not been in the office this morning."

"Oh," she said, turning back to her desk. Now what? She spun on her heel back to Dwight. "What about Karen?"

Dwight straightened in his chair. "Karen hasn't been in yet today either." He looked around him to see if anyone was watching. As usual, the cameras were (Steve the camera guy and Rob the sound guy doing summer spot duty, half days, a couple times a week or when invited for extracurriculars), but he, as usual, ignored them, whispering secretively to Pam, "Do you think they might be connected?"

Her voice had never felt so tiny before. "I'm worried they might be."

"They were both still here last night when I went home."

That's it. She'd managed to snag defeat from the jaws of victory. "He's dumped me." Unceremoniously dumped on her ass. She started to cry.

Dwight scratched his chin, deep in thought. "Are you sexually disfunctional?"

"WHAT?!" She never thought that such a question would be a good way to stop a woman from crying, but it worked wonders.

"Jim is in love with you and has been for some time. I've noticed that he has been infuriatingly happy recently. He would not jeopardize his relationship with you without good reason, such as if you were inadequate in bed," he elaborated. "Or possibly if you could not bear him children."

"Ew. No, Dwight. Just... no."

"So you are adequate?"

She couldn't believe she was discussing this. She couldn't believe that she was discussing this with Dwight. "I know I don't have a lot of experience, but Roy never complained."

"And you are fertile?"

Pam should have been used to Dwight's help by now. Still, it was always shocking when it occured. "Honestly, Dwight, that issue has never come up."

"Hmmm..."

"What hmmm...?"

"Jim's car is here."

"Yes, I know."

"Karen's truck is not. I suspect foul play."

"Dwight..." Pam complained. This wasn't helping.

Dwight stood up quickly from his desk. "Come with me to the parking lot. We must investigate for clues." There was really very little she could do but follow.

As they rode the elevator down she asked, "Dwight, isn't this a bit far fetched? Foul play? I mean, it's not as if Karen kidnapped Jim."

"In my experience, foul play is the most likely causal agent."

Pam shook her head. "Dwight, I gotta level with you: Most of those were just me and Jim playing pranks on you." She could see the rage build in the bursting veins on Dwight's forehead. Whoops.